Chapter 18 – Jordan
Before I realize what’s happening, a piece of my heart is running away from me. With tears and anger in her eyes.
What the fuck have I done?
“Bianca! Bianca, wait!” I feel like I might go into cardiac arrest if she gets too far away from me. But she’s moving too fast. And Creeper Dude uses this moment to throw shit at me.
“You really aren’t a man, are you, Boy Toy?” he says. “I bet if I took down your pants, you wouldn’t have a dick.”
Without even turning around to face him, I see red. My entire body shakes, and my pulse thunders in my skull.
“I bet you just have a fuzzy little mound. One that would probably like a good fucking from a real man, like me.”
At those words, I fly around to face him. I launch myself at his shit-talking mouth and go in for the jugular before my brain has even time to process anything. How hard I’ve slammed into him, or how many people have had to get out of the way.
“Shut the fuck up!” I land on him, shoving him to the ground and then I land a punch. It’s off-center, but enough to cut his lip with one of my rings. “Shut up, you motherfucker!” He struggles under me. Tries to push me off, but I won’t allow it.
I take his fingers and bend them back. I promised to break them all for touching Bianca, and I might just do it now. “Don’t fuck with me, asshole.”
“Come at me, bro. Give me what you got, Boy Toy,” he giggles.
I bend back the fingers I have in my hand until he screams. Somebody pulls me off him. As I’m being pulled away, I land punches, or at least I hope I do.
I go for the creeper again, but Alex pulls him off the floor and out of my reach. And Paul is holding me back. I roar in anger, flexing all of my muscles against the hold Paul has on me. He’s lucky he works out. If he didn’t, I’d throw him to the ground along with Creeper Dude.
“Let me go! This bitch needs to learn to shut his fucking mouth.”
I’m pissed at him. Pissed at myself. But more than that I’m scared I’ve just lost Bianca forever. And if I have, I’ll take out her loss on that shithead's face.
I surge forward.
Creeper Dude matches me, but we’re kept apart by Alex and Paul still. “Just try it, bitch,” he taunts.
“Keep talking, dickwad,” I shout back. “When I get done with you, you won’t be able to talk ever again.”
Surprisingly, Mariah and Jane are around me. Touching each of my shoulders. “Jordan,” Jane says, “forget him. He’s not important.”
“Yeah,” Mariah agrees, looking at my rival like he’s nothing more than a cockroach. “Ignore the troll.”
“You’ve got to go after Bianca,” Jane says, gripping my shoulder as hard as she can. “You’ve got to explain to her. Apologize to her.”
“Before she leaves,” Mariah adds, working with Jane to shove me out of the battle zone. “Hurry!”
They don’t need to tell me anymore. I leave behind my beef with Creeper Dude and follow my thundering heart to the entrance of the café past open-mouthed servers and patrons. I run down the stairs. Jump down them, practically taking two or three or four, at a time.
Even as I move, I smell Bianca hanging in the air. The whisper of her perfume. Her soap.
I jump off the last stair and run as fast as I can toward her room, my chest and lungs burning with exertion. God dammit, I think, rubbing scared and angry tears from my eyes, I can’t lose you, Bianca! I can’t live without you. I stumble under my speed and the weight of my grief. I can’t go back to my normal life. I can’t go back to being single after this.
The creeper is right. I’m not really a man. I’m a coward. A yellow-bellied little bitch.
If I was a man, I would have defended my relationship with Bianca in front of everyone. Instead, I cowered away too scared to man up in the moment.
I haul in a breath doing my best to hold back the tears threatening to spill down my cheeks. God dammit, Bianca. I can’t live without you. I won’t. If I have to, I’ll shout it from the rooftops. From the top of the ski slopes.
I love you dominating me.
I love you controlling me
I love you spanking, flogging, kissing me.
I love...
I love you.