ADELINE

 

"SHE'S IN SHOCK," the doctor with salt-and-pepper hair and kind blue eyes tells my father.  "I can run some tests; make sure she wasn't drugged with anything."

"Yes, yes, test her.  Whatever you need to do," my father grumbles.

I sit on the windowsill of my old room in my father's house.  I stare out the glass at the massive backyard, locked up in the same prison as I was almost my entire life.  But it seems so much worse than a prison now.

It seems like a tomb, slowly suffocating me with every second I stay here.

We've been back in the United States for less than forty-eight hours, and I haven't uttered a single word to anyone.  I can still remember my father shaking me when the plane landed, asking me why I wasn't talking, asking what the hell was wrong with me.

He has no idea what he's done.  By saving my life, the only man I've ever loved is now dead.

And I never even got to say goodbye…or tell him I love him one last time.

Lucien died alone, suffering a horrible death, and the thought of that is almost too much to bear.

My biggest fear is not knowing what will happen to Lucien's body.  Will Jax bury him?  Will there be a grave somewhere I could visit someday?

And the most depressing thing is that I don't even know where the island is.  I was in hysterics after they dragged me onto an awaiting helicopter and then onto a plane that I couldn't even keep track of everything going on around me.

The thought of never being able to visit the island again opens up a brand new wound inside of my chest, and I release a shuddering breath.

Even though I feel like I could cry for a thousand years, my tears dried up hours ago.  And I don't even have the strength to conjure up any more.  I'm emotionally and physically exhausted.

I can't eat…I can't sleep…and it even hurts to fucking breathe.  They stole everything from me.  And every time I close my eyes, I see his body falling into the pool…the water tinged red with his blood…his arms flailing to reach the surface…and then the moment when he stopped struggling…

A ragged gasp escapes my lips as I snap my eyes open.  I fear I'll never be able to sleep again without reliving his death in my mind.

Rubbing my naked wrist now, I cringe at not feeling Lucien's bracelet.  I was stripped of everything once we had arrived back to my father's home.  The bracelet was the only thing I had to remember him, and now it's gone too.

"This may sting," the doctor says, bringing me back to the present, before he puts a needle in my skin.

I don't even flinch.  I can't even feel it.  I feel nothing now.  I'm numb to everything and everyone around me.  And I plan on staying that way for a long time…maybe even for the rest of my life.

It's as if the sun has set in my little world.  And without Lucien here with me, it won't ever rise again.

"She needs rest," the doctor says after he's finished drawing blood.  "I'll come back once I learn the results of the blood work."

"Fine," my father tells him.  Once the doctor leaves, he roughly grabs my arms and hauls me up to face him.  I stare into his eyes, unblinking, unmoving.  "Snap out of this mood you're in, Adeline!  Your wedding is in less than a month!  And Giovanni isn't going to want to marry some lifeless doll!"

His words take a few moments to fully sink in.

Wedding?  Marry Giovanni?  My father still expects me to marry that…monster?

It's like rubbing salt into the open wound I feel in my chest.  I imagined a life with Lucien.  I can't even fathom a life with anyone else.  Giovanni sold me…and then killed the love of my life.

"Giovanni is the one who sold me!" I scream at my father, my voice raw and hoarse from not talking for so long.

I expect a nuclear reaction from my father from finally learning the truth, but his response shocks me to my very core.

He nods slowly and says, "Yes, I know."

"You…you know?" I ask, stunned.

"He confessed everything to me after he brought you back home safe and sound.  He told me he still wants to marry you.  Still wants to take over the family business when I'm gone."  Deep frown lines settle into his leathery face.  "I agreed," he says as if that should make everything better.

I twist my arms out of his grasp and move away from him.  "He took everything from me.  I will never marry him!" I hiss.

My father's hands ball into fists at his sides.  "No daughter of mine is going to talk to me like that," he says through clenched teeth as he begins to unbuckle his belt.  "I'm going to teach you respect…even if I have to beat it into you!"

When the first blow comes, I almost pass out from the pain.  But I eventually become numb to the strikes after that.

I had felt like I'd died with Lucien that day…and now I wish I truly had.