Chapter 20
Zach stared at Noah as he slept. Despite the red welts covering the majority of his body from all the damn spider bites, the dark rings beneath his eyes, and the thinness of his face, he still looked blissfully peaceful as he slept. The dehydration and lack of nourishment over the last ninety hours made his cheekbones even more prominent and his long black lashes darker against his pale flesh. His lips might appear just as pouty as Zach remembered, but their normal pretty pink had faded. That, he vowed, would change soon enough. If he had his way, he would spend the rest of his life hand-feeding Noah every single delightful treat his body might be craving at the moment. It wasn’t healthy or the correct way of thinking, but he’d be over-the-moon satisfied with the idea of Noah never wanting to leave the apartment again. It would be easier to keep him safe from all harm right where he was.
That wasn’t fair, though. They couldn’t live the rest of their lives in fear. As much as he wanted it, he couldn’t keep someone as beautiful as Noah hidden away from the rest of the world. Noah deserved to shine, to live his life with the hint of excitement and carefreeness he’d started to exhibit before Dante invaded their happiness. In his letter, Noah had talked about braving the carnival, and Zachary could imagine the sparkle in Noah’s eyes when he’d imagined them on the Ferris wheel, even as he thought he was about to die. They would do that one day—laugh together and then kiss with wild abandon when they were at the top of the carnival ride. As soon as Noah was ready, Zachary would move heaven and earth to see it happen.
Nothing…and no one would ever hold Noah back again.
It was simple enough: Dante Moretti would die and Zachary was more than happy to ensure it happened sooner as opposed to later. As soon as Noah was completely safe and recovering nicely, he would find a way to destroy Moretti for what he’d done. Some folks might laugh at him for thinking he could take out a Las Vegas crime boss. Hell, even the FBI couldn’t locate him, much less arrest him and make him answer for what he’d done to Noah. But those people who might not think him capable didn’t know how he’d grown up. They weren’t aware his father had taught him to shoot a gun before he’d been taught his ABCs and 123s. His father might be considered a vile man by most everyone he encountered, and he’d been the worst father and role model imaginable, but if he’d ever done anything in his life, he’d taught his son how to survive…how to kill.
That part of his life was something Zach had wanted to be able to put behind him, forget all about, and pretend it never happened. He was better than that. He was a respectable doctor living in a respectable apartment building, wore respectable clothes, and carried himself in a manner making it unquestionable he fit in with the upper crust of respectable society. When he rolled out of bed, dressed in his tailor-made clothes, and went to his job, nobody could ever look at him and know what he came from. With a life-plan formed when he was barely a teen, Zachary had always known he would walk away from the motorcycle gang his father had ruled with a blazing gun and a sincere shortage of morals.
He hadn’t ever intended to return to that way of life. Walk away and never look back. Shake it off and pretend to be something he wasn’t. That had always been his plan.
But now, he would take all those skills he’d tucked away into the deepest corners of his heart and soul and he’d use them to kill a man…to kill an entire family, if that was what it took. There was no doubting it; doing this, becoming a killer like his father, would destroy a part of him he’d tried so hard to protect, but it would be worth it. Noah’s safety was worth everything.
“What are you thinking about?” Noah’s weak voice interrupted his dark thoughts.
His heart leaped into his chest as he jumped to his feet and leaned over the bed. Crystal blue eyes were locked onto him, still looking a bit foggy and weak, but locked onto him nonetheless. Noah blinked slowly and offered Zach a weak smile. His hand, covered with red bites, automatically reached for Denala, and Zach could see the happiness settle on Noah’s face when he found her still lying next to him. Once Noah had patted the bed to allow her to join him, she’d only left to see to the puppies, eat, and take care of her personal business. Zach didn’t have the heart to even attempt to keep her out of the bed. His dog and his lover had formed a bond that had ended up saving Noah’s life. The most worthless tracking dog in the history of the training academy where she’d grown up turned out to be the most valuable asset in his life.
Stroking the side of Noah’s face, he answered, “I’m thinking about you, baby. I’m thinking about how much I love you and how I never intend for us to be apart again.”
Noah coughed out a weak laugh. “I hope to hell you weren’t. The look on your face was dark and dangerous. I’d hate to think thoughts of me put it there.” He reached up to touch the hand stroking his cheek. “Thank you for rescuing me, Zach. I hadn’t really held out much hope. I have some firsthand experience on how thoroughly Dante Moretti can cover his tracks so I’d already accepted death. Did you get my note? I wasn’t sure if you’d ever see it, but I hoped you would. I worried about you.”
Zach couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Noah worried about me? “Why me? You were the one he’d left to die slowly. Did you know where you were? Please tell me you knew you were still in your safe zone,” Zach whispered. Noah’s hand touching his made his heart feel perfect. Unable to stop himself, he climbed into the bed and snuggled against Noah, making sure not to dislodge any of his tubes or the leads to his monitors. He needed Noah’s body against his, to feel his heart beating.
“Climb aboard, sailor,” Noah teased in a voice still sounding way too weak for Zach’s peace of mind.
“I love you, Noah,” Zach told him after he’d settled into a comfortable position with Noah’s back resting against his chest and Zach’s arms wrapped possessively around Noah. “I can’t believe I almost lost you without telling you how I really felt. I’d been so selfish…so cowardly. I wanted to say the words, babe. I honestly did, but I was too fucking weak. Not any more, though. I love you.”
Noah snuggled against him and laughed softly. “I know you love me, Zach. I told you in the letter. I didn’t need to hear the words. Your actions were enough to tide me over until you felt comfortable enough to say it out loud. You gave me your heart. I gave you mine. That was enough for me.”
Noah’s heart was so perfect, even with all the damage the Moretti family had inflicted on it. Zach wanted to squeeze him tighter but was afraid he might snap him in two. Noah felt frail in his arms. “That may have been enough, but you deserved more. You deserved to have all of me, and I held some back. It won’t happen again. I promise, babe.”
“I’m tired, Zach. I’m gonna try not to drift off again, but I can’t make any promises. I feel so fucking weak and it pisses me off.” He swiveled his head around to gaze up into Zach’s eyes. “I really want you to fuck me right now, to make me feel alive again, but I suspect that’s out of the question.”
“Definitely out of the question,” Zach answered quickly and then softened it with a kiss to the top of Noah’s head.
“I was afraid you would say that, but you’re gonna have to watch yourself, babe,” Noah warned in a firm voice that was downgraded from angry to just plain sexy by the yawn accompanying it at the end. “We’ve done that whole you in protective mode and not giving me the what I want and need thing, and it didn’t work out for us. Remember? I know you, know how you like to control and protect. I’m going to try to be lenient with you for a while ’cause you’ve been through a lot, but don’t get comfortable with my generosity. I want to be treated like a man, not a mouse. Got it?” Another yawn, this one bigger than the last.
Zach was so fucking thankful Dante hadn’t succeeded in taking away Noah’s love of life and never-ending sassiness. “Agreed,” he said as he tugged Noah closer to him. “I’ll try to put my big boy panties on and handle you with my usual intensity just as soon as I know you’re back to one hundred percent.”
“Sixty percent,” Noah countered.
Zach rolled his eyes, loving Noah more with each passing second. All he’d been able to think about since seeing Noah looking like a corpse was killing Dante Moretti. He’d imagined every form of torture his mind could conjure up and had even taken a few minutes to research torture methods on the internet. He wanted to hear Moretti cry and beg for mercy. He wanted to see his crimson blood spray the walls in a glorious display of macabre art. More than anything, he wanted to stare into his eyes and watch as the very last of his life essence drained from his body. From the moment Noah had woken, he’d been his usual fun-loving, playful self. Zach didn’t deserve someone like Noah, but he sure as hell wasn’t giving him up.
No secrets.
“I’m going to tell you a story, babe. The short version of my life, and I hope it helps you understand why I’m such a fucking asshole.”
Noah wiggled around until his head rested on Zach’s chest and he was able to look into Zach’s eyes. His blue eyes were weak, making it look like it took every drop of his energy to keep them open. He blinked slowly and then whispered, “I love you, Zachary Meadows. I want to tell you now, before you share your short story, and I’ll tell you again when you’re finished. There isn’t a goddamn thing you can say that is capable of changing how I feel about you.”
“I hope not,” Zach answered quietly. “My father was a bad man…is a bad man,” he corrected. “I grew up in Texas where I spent practically every moment of my life surrounded by every form of immorality one could imagine, and my old man was at the tip-top of the shit pile. He was the president of the mother chapter of a motorcycle gang called the Demons of Riot.” Zach drew in a deep breath. “They were bad, Noah, but they were all I had…all I knew. It sounds weird, but they were my family. I pretty much grew up down at the clubhouse, each member throwing their two cents in on how to raise a baby and turn him into a man. Let’s just say, if you added all their cents in together, you still didn’t come up with a shit’s worth of anything when it came to morals, empathy, or just simply doing what the fuck was right. I knew about loyalty—you never betrayed your brother. They were willing to die for each other, to die for me without a thought or a moment of hesitation.”
Noah’s eyes were still locked with his, watching him closely and holding him even closer. There wasn’t shock or judgment in those blue depths, though. There wasn’t even pity. He was just…there. When Zach looked down into Noah’s eyes, he was looking at the same loyalty he’d witnessed with his motorcycle family, but with Noah, there was also morality, empathy, love, and a hint of innocence.
“They sound a lot like my family but only wrapped with different paper and different bows,” Noah said. “Keep going. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
“You never interrupt, babe,” Zach assured him. “So, I grew up with some pretty damned warped views of life. I knew how to load a gun and fire it before I could construct with Legos. I’d watched people having sex, live and right in your face, before I knew Santa Claus wasn’t real. I couldn’t put a number on the times people had been dragged into the club, shuffled into one of the back rooms, and then I’d never see them again. Kids at school feared me. Hell, parents of the kids at school feared me. Through all that shit, though, I loved my dad. He wasn’t a good guy, but he was my guy, and I loved him. While I never said it out loud, I knew he hurt people and sold drugs and illegal weapons. I knew this, but kept turning a blind eye because he was my dad.”
Zach took a deep breath and probably wouldn’t have been able to continue with his story if Noah hadn’t used his last bit of strength to raise up and kiss him softly on his lips. “I love you,” he assured Zach.
“One afternoon I was hanging out at the club because there wasn’t any point in me attending high school anymore. I’d already flunked for the year and pretty much decided I was dropping out. Hell, like I needed a high school diploma to replace my dad as president of the club one day. He was teaching me everything I needed to know, right? So, there I was, drinking and enjoying the latest street drug the club was selling, when some of dad’s soldiers brought in two teenage girls and a young boy.” Zach’s eyes took on a haunted look. “I didn’t have a clue what was going on, but I was still sober enough to know that whatever it was, I didn’t like it. These kids were…clean. They weren’t the regular motorcycle riding, drug selling, law-breaking citizens who usually frequented the club. No, the three of them had a halo of purity hanging over them. The girls, probably around my own age at the time, were the type of girls I hated because I knew they were better than me. The boy, still just a baby, wasn’t any bigger than a minute. He had these big blue eyes and pale blond hair. His skin was a flawless alabaster shade. He’d peed his pants, and my dad’s enforcer was making fun of him. Couldn’t have been a day older than eight years of age, and he was being made fun of for pissing himself. Hell, I was nearly a grown man and there were times when they scared me so fucking bad I’d almost pissed myself…and I knew they liked me.”
Noah’s right hand, still anchored by the IV, gently stroked Zach, methodically moving from one spot to the next…always touching him. His pale skin, marred only by the bites, looked as pure and alabaster as that little boy’s had looked. His eyes just as blue. His heart just as innocent.
“Those girls? The ones I’d always hated on sight because I just knew in my heart they were heartless bitches only caring about themselves? Yeah, they were facing my dad’s enforcer down, threatening to cut his balls off and shove them down his throat if he didn’t leave the little boy alone. I sat there like a fucking mute while those two teenage girls tried to protect a boy who, in the end, turned out to be someone they didn’t even know.”
“Stop blaming yourself, Zach,” Noah whispered. “You told me I couldn’t blame myself for all of Moretti’s shit, so you can’t blame yourself for something beyond your control. You aren’t that person, babe. You’re the man who saved my life.”
“The club was into human trafficking. I didn’t know it—it was one of the many things my father kept hidden from me. One of the girls was stolen right off the streets only a few blocks over from where the clubhouse was located. The other girl was brought in from New York City—a runaway trying to survive on the streets because her stepdad had been raping her while her mother turned a blind eye to her torment. The little boy was from a wealthy family in Massachusetts. He was their only child, and while I didn’t know it at the time, they’d been moving heaven and earth trying to find their baby boy. He’d been missing for four days as the different clubs passed him from state to state until he finally made it to my dad’s club.”
Zach could still see the fear in that little boy’s eyes. Tears streaked down his dirty face and his tiny hand trembled as it hung lifelessly at his side. The girls glared at Zach, one of them looking faintly familiar. He’d just sat his ass right there on the sofa and watched as the enforcer and a couple of soldiers hauled them toward the back rooms.
“It took some digging on my part, but I finally realized what was going on. I went to my dad and demanded he let them go and stop the human trafficking shit. He’d always given me everything I wanted, so I never expected he wouldn’t bow down to me on this. I’d been wrong, though. Dead fucking wrong. The next thing I knew, the three of them disappeared and it sure the fuck wasn’t because they’d been set free.”
“It’s okay, babe. You aren’t that man anymore,” Noah said quietly.
“I went straight to the cops, Noah. I went straight there and told them everything. Every. Fucking. Thing. I turned on my father and the club, the only family I’d ever known. One day I’d woken up the prince of my own world, and the next day I was completely alone. Their love hadn’t been much, but it had been all I’d ever known. I threw it all away, Noah. I threw my family away, sent them to prison, and do you know what for? Nothing, Noah. The one girl I thought I recognized was recovered. As it turned out, she was Connor’s cousin. That’s why I thought I recognized her—she was in some pictures at his house. Connor was my one and only friend outside of the club, and I have no fucking idea why we were even friends. More than that, I have no idea why we remained friends after what happened. The other girl, the one with the fucked-up shitty life? They’d found her dead. She’d been bought as a party favor, and they’d raped her until she died.”
“They never found the little boy.” Zach laughed bitterly. “Hell, to this fucking day Connor still looks for him. He looks for him because that’s the type of guy Connor is—the good guy. He also looks for him because he knows I lost a part of my soul over that little boy. I could’ve saved him, but I didn’t, Noah. I just sat there, drunk and high as a kite as they led him away.”
“You were a kid, Zach,” Noah responded in what would have sounded like an angry growl if he hadn’t been so damned weak. “You did the best you could and I know of one family who really appreciates you stepping up when you did. Let it go, Zach. Don’t keep blaming yourself for something beyond your control.”
Noah’s words helped, but Zach would never really be able to remove all the self-loathing and self-hatred he’d acquired on one fateful day. Hell, not just that one day. When all the facts came out during his father’s trial, he’d learned what a monster his father truly was. The man he’d loved and thought loved him; the man who had been his hero right up until the moment Zach had locked eyes with that little boy.
“It is what it is,” Zach answered in an empty voice. “If I could change it, I would. I’d give anything if I would’ve had the courage to save all those kids that day. I changed after that, Noah. I turned my life around, mostly with help from Connor and his family, but we turned it around. I tried my damnedest to become the man who would be considered the complete opposite of my father. The education, the job, the clothes, the wealth…everything. I never saw him again after the trial, after I testified against him. He received a life sentence without the possibility of parole. He’s dead to me.”
“I love Connor even more now,” Noah said. “I’m glad he was there for you before I came along.” He smiled. “Anyway, I kinda like the new Zachary Meadows. I think I’ll keep him.”
Zach laughed. “I told you all that because there’s something else you need to know, Noah. I vowed there wouldn’t be any more secrets or lies between us and I mean it. I’m going to give you all of me because that’s what you deserve.”
“What? You’re scaring me, Zach. Contrary to popular belief, I’m not fond of being scared.”
“Every single day since that afternoon, when I came face-to-face with what my family really was, I’ve hated every damned thing about my past. Every. Damned. Thing. I wanted to ignore the tattoos covering my body, forget the skills my father had taught me, and pretend I was a nice, normal, contributing member of society. I chose the medical profession, because in my mind, it was about as far from what my father did as I could get—other than being a cop, but that was Connor’s dream, and I didn’t want to bring my darkness to his world.”
“Do you enjoy it now?” Noah asked. His eyelids were getting droopier and droopier, but he was being a real trooper and trying to stay focused on what Zach was saying. In truth, Zach wasn’t being exactly fair to Noah, dumping all this on him right now when he was still barely able to suck in his next breath. But Zach couldn’t stop the words. Noah needed to know. Everything.
“I enjoy helping people, but I’m not sure it’s how I want to spend the rest of my life.” He shrugged like it was no big deal. “Maybe I’ll try something different down the road.” He would most definitely try something different down the road. He wouldn’t have any choice. Even if he managed to survive and not go to prison when he killed Dante Moretti, there was still that medical oath to do no harm—he took that shit seriously. After he finished what Moretti started, he would need to walk away from medicine.
“If I had any money, I could pay you to just hang around and fuck me,” Noah teased, trying to lighten Zach’s dark mood.
“I told you all this, Noah, because you need to know I’m going to kill Dante Moretti. I’m going to finally put my father’s training to good use, and I’m going to kill the son of a bitch for what he did to you.” When Noah opened his mouth to argue, Zach silenced him with a kiss—a soft, gentle touch of his lips to Noah’s. He explored his lover’s mouth like they were touching for the first time. The union of their lips had nothing to do with sex, but everything to do with love. When they finally broke apart, Zach whispered, “I’m going to kill him, babe. You’ll never have to live in fear again.”
“I can’t let you do that, Zach,” Noah argued. Pain and sorrow drenched his eyes in the form of tears. “I won’t let you do that. It isn’t you. The FBI will protect me. This time, I know who the real enemy is. He won’t get an opportunity to get close to me again.”
“I’m sorry, Noah. This isn’t something I can leave to the FBI. If it’s up to them, they’ll take you away from me, and I’ll never even know where you are…if you’re afraid and lonely. This is something I have to do myself.” Zach kissed Noah’s forehead. “No, this is something I want to do.”
“Please, no, Zach,” Noah pleaded. “I won’t ever be able to feel the same again. Please don’t.”
It was the words Zach had most feared. Noah wouldn’t be able to love him after he took another man’s life. He’d known it was a possibility, hoped it wouldn’t be reality, but he was prepared to walk away if he had to…if that was what it took to keep Noah safe. The FBI couldn’t protect Noah—they’d done a bang-up job of it so fucking far. No, he couldn’t rely on anyone else.
With a courage he didn’t really feel, Zach answered, “I was afraid you wouldn’t be able to feel the same about me if I killed another man. I know your gentle heart, Noah. It’s okay. I’m going to do this for you, and then I’ll walk away. I can’t let Moretti live. I just can’t.”
Noah reached up and grabbed both sides of Zach’s face and gripped him tightly. “I wasn’t talking about how I would feel about you, Zach. I’ll love you until the day I draw my last breath, and there’s not a damned thing in this world that will change that. There’s not a fucking thing you can do to change that,” he vowed. “I was talking about how it would make me feel, knowing my stupidity and dumb-ass decisions forced you to veer off the path you’d chosen. I would hate myself, Zach. I would blame myself, and there wouldn’t be a thing you could say or do to change that. Please don’t do this. Please don’t put this burden on my shoulders. I’ve been doing so well, improving every day. This will destroy all those improvements and steps forward, Zach. You know it will. I’ll hate myself.”
Zach sucked in a breath. Well, fuck. Zach hadn’t been prepared for that argument. He’d been more than willing to throw his own life away, but he wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize Noah’s mental and physical health. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
From the opened doorway, Connor cleared his throat, drawing their attention to him. Wayne stood next to him, looking exhausted and rejuvenated at the same time.
“Sorry to interrupt, but I think now’s the perfect time,” Connor said as he and Wayne walked into the bedroom. Wayne sat down on one of the chairs around Noah’s bed so they could all be together while he recovered. Connor walked over to the bed, leaned down to kiss Noah’s cheek, and said, “I’m going to kick your sweet ass for knocking me out, making me look the fool, and getting this guy pissed at me.” He kissed his other cheek. “Just giving you a head’s up, little man. I’m talking turn you over my knee and blister your ass.”
Noah blushed. “I had to, Conn. He threatened to kill Zach if I didn’t do what he said. You know I couldn’t risk Zach’s safety. Anyway, I needed you out of the picture so you would be around to take care of Zach after I was gone. Dante will come for him, too. It’s gonna be your job to keep both of us safe, and I have no doubts at all that you’ll be able to do it.”
Connor grinned. “Stroke my ego, why don’t you, little man,” he teased. “Did you see my chest puff out with each word you said? Yeah, you may have just gotten yourself a reprieve. Of sorts. How ’bout I let Zachary blister your ass…and I’ll just watch? Sound fair?”
“Deal,” Noah answered with a weak grin.
Connor gave Zach’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze and then he went to stand behind Wayne, massaging his shoulders one second and then caressing his cheek the next. Zach wasn’t sure he would ever truly trust Wayne, but it was plain to see his best friend did. They were in love. It should have warmed Zach’s heart but, instead, made him feel queasy. Why couldn’t he trust Wayne? The man had been nothing but supportive during this entire ordeal.
Something still felt…off.
“So…we couldn’t help but overhear some of what you guys were talking about,” Connor said from his protective perch behind Wayne. “Noah, it isn’t right for you to have to pick between letting the FBI relocate you to some unknown place and you either leave Zach behind and break your heart or take him with you and break my heart. It just isn’t fair.”
“Thank you,” Zach agreed wholeheartedly. After their recent talks, he wasn’t surprised Connor was on his side, was going to allow him to kill another man. If anybody could help him pound the necessity of him killing Dante Moretti into Noah’s head, it would be Connor. Hell, he’d even take Wayne’s help at this point—Noah liked the other man. If it took him sucking up to Wayne to get Noah to go along with his plan, then he’d be the best damned sucker this side of the Mason-Dixon Line. “That’s what I was trying to tell Noah, but he’s too stubborn to see the facts right now. Me killing Moretti is our only way out of this fucking mess, and I’m more than willing to do it.”
Noah’s bottom lip literally puckered in a pout. Too bad. Zach couldn’t risk anything happening to the man he loved.
Wayne looked at Zach and said, “Zach, it isn’t right for you to do something that’s completely opposite of everything you’ve vowed to live your life for. You save people. You don’t kill them. Killing Dante Moretti, while the man deserves death more than Satan deserves hell, would kill a part of you…no, it would kill the best part of you. On top of that, it would destroy Noah. He would have to live the rest of his life with the guilt of knowing if your paths had never crossed, you wouldn’t have ended up taking another man’s life. Don’t get me wrong. Noah would be completely innocent, but nobody would ever be able to convince him of that.”
“Thank you,” Noah yelled with more life than he’d shown since they’d pulled him out of that tomb.
“Mind your own fucking business,” Zach growled at the man he already didn’t trust. “This has absolutely nothing to do with you.” Turning his glare to Connor, he said, “Get your man in hand, Conn. I don’t need his bullshit right now. Actually, I don’t need him here at all. I still don’t fucking understand your sudden involvement with my life. I lived here for months and you barely said more than twenty words to me. The minute Noah comes into my life, I can’t fart without it blowing the hair out of your eyes.”
Connor grimaced. “Dude, that was just in poor taste. Not only was the visual disgusting, but you’re so going to live to regret those words.” Connor shook his head. “Did I mention you were going to regret those words?”
“I regret introducing the two of you,” Zach roared as he started to stand up. The moment he moved, he noticed Noah grimace, so he quickly stopped moving and hugged Noah tight.
“You’re being an ass, Zach. I’ve told you over and over Wayne’s a good guy. Why do you insist on believing the worst about him?” Noah’s blue eyes turned to Wayne. “You wouldn’t do anything to hurt me, would you, Wayne?”
“Never, kid,” Wayne answered. “Never.”
“Oh…well, that clears that up,” Zach replied sarcastically. “Let me set all my concerns aside. You’ve given your word, so all’s good, right?”
Wayne’s eyes flickered up to Connor and then returned to Zach. “No, brother,” he answered quietly. “I’ve given my solemn Demon Oath to protect you. By protecting you, Noah obviously came along with the package.”
Noah frowned in confusion.
Connor looked worried and smug at the same time.
Zach felt like somebody had just ripped the rug right out from under his feet, and he was tumbling ass over head down into a ravine that had no bottom. Brother? Demon Oath?
He couldn’t be.
He had to be.
Why would a member of the Demons protect him? He was a traitor. When someone did what he did to the club, they disappeared off the face of the earth. For the first few years, he’d been certain they would come looking for him, determined to torture and murder him for his betrayal of the club. When that hadn’t happened, he’d convinced himself he must have some sort of protection because of his father.
Never would a member of the club be sent to protect him—his father hadn’t been that powerful.
“What are you saying?” he asked quietly. “Are you here to kill me, Wayne? Did my father send you?”
Wayne rolled his eyes in disbelief. “You are one stubborn son-of-a-bitch, Zachary Meadows. I just told you I’d taken an oath to protect you. That hardly puts me into the enforcer or sergeant-at-arms category.”
Zach couldn’t begin to understand what he was hearing. “I think you need to explain what’s going on,” he told Wayne. Another thought dawned on him and he turned to Connor. “Did you know this? Did you know who Wayne was associated with?”
Connor didn’t look the least bit contrite. “As soon as I saw him without his clothes on, I had a damned good idea. His tattoos looked awfully familiar. I questioned him on it, gave him a chance to explain, and then verified what he told me.” He glanced down at Wayne and grimaced. “Sorry, babe. Verifying is my thing…especially when it involves the people I love.” When Wayne didn’t look too upset, he leaned down a placed a quick kiss on his lips. “Which includes you now,” he said. “You’re one of the people I love now.” He winked. “Just in case you weren’t clear on that.”
“What? You just called up the local chapter of Demons of Riot and asked them to verify Wayne was who he said he was? It doesn’t work that way, Connor.” He turned and eyeballed Wayne. “Talk to me. Convince me I’m not a dead man. It’s been a few years since I reviewed the by-laws, but I’m pretty damned sure I remember you died for doing what I did to the club. You sure as hell didn’t get an order of protection.”
Wayne drew in a deep breath and met Zach’s gaze. “Like you, Zach, I grew up in the club. My dad was an enforcer for the Georgia president. Unlike you, my dad never wanted me to be a member of the club, fought me tooth and nail when I joined. He insisted on things like completing high school and, hopefully, moving on to college. He wanted better things for me, but I was too dumb or too stubborn to open my eyes and see how right he was…and how wrong I was. I’d created this glamorous version of the club in my mind, and nobody could pry it out of my head, not even my own father. The day I took the oath was one of the saddest days of my father’s life. I was flying high, but he was crashing and burning.” Wayne reached up to cover Connor’s hand resting on his shoulder, appearing to gather strength from the simple touch. “Needless to say, it didn’t take long for the glamor to tarnish and reality to set in. It was ugly. It was brutal. I saw and did things that blackened my soul. After the first year, I wanted out. O-U-T, out.” He laughed bitterly. “As I’m sure you know, you don’t just leave the brotherhood. Once a member, always a member. I was miserable and slowly started hating myself and, even worse, started hating my father—the very man who’d tried to warn me off the club. We fought. I rebelled. I barely existed and was headed down a path that would have eventually led to them making me disappear.”
“Are…are you still a member?” Noah asked.
Zach knew Noah was exhausted, but he was wide awake, eyes glued to Wayne. He looked so worried about his friend. It was amazing that someone who had been betrayed over and over again could still put all their faith in a person. Zach wished his heart were that pure.
Wayne shrugged. “Yes and no. Like I said, once a member, always a member. You never really get completely out of the club, no matter what. In my case, I ended up getting somewhat of a ‘free pass’ ticket.” His eyes turned to Zach as he added, “Kinda like what Zach got.”
“Your father?” Zach asked.
“Yeah. My father gave his life protecting the president of our chapter—literally took the bullet meant for Gabriel. I didn’t know it, but he had a written agreement with Gabriel that, if anything happened to him, if he gave his life for the club, his son would be given a pass.” Wayne took a deep breath. “I would be allowed to walk away from the club without any retribution. I hated him and made sure he knew I hated him for introducing me to that lifestyle. In return for that hate, he forfeited his life so I could have mine back.”
Noah was frowning. “But you said you’d taken a…a…demon oath to protect Zach. I assume that’s a biker club oath of some kind? If you aren’t a member any longer, why do that?”
Wayne laughed again, but this time, it sounded more genuine. “Well, kid, you never really leave the club. I may have been given my freedom back, but club freedom always comes with a price. Before leaving, I had to agree to be on call if the brothers ever needed me.” His eyes turned back to Zach. “When Zach and Connor moved into my area, I was suddenly on call. Gabriel visited me and let me know the club expected me to keep an eye on Zach and to make sure he stayed safe. I thought to myself that it should be a simple job. I mean, how much trouble can a good doctor get into, right?”
Noah blushed. “Yeah, that’s on me.”
“Well, I’ll just say that the good doctor turned out to be more trouble than I anticipated. Hell, I might have even considered going on the run from the club and leaving Dr. Meadows to handle his shit by himself, but then I saw his bestie and I wasn’t going anywhere.”
“That’s me,” Connor piped up. “I’m the bestie. I’m the reason he stayed.” He winked at Noah. “Yeah, that’s on me.”
Zach frowned. “I don’t get it. Why would they care if I stayed safe or not? The club should want me dead. Hell, my own father should want me dead.”
“Apparently not,” Wayne conceded. “When Gabriel came to me, he said he owed your father a debt that could never be repaid and your father wanted him to make sure you were safe—to watch over his son when he couldn’t.”
“But why?” Zach couldn’t begin to understand what was happening or why it was happening. “He should hate me. He’s in prison because of me. He’ll die in prison because of me.”
“No, Zach,” Noah growled. “He’s in prison because of the crimes he committed. Because of the drugs, the weapons deals, the human trafficking…all of it. He put himself in prison, not you.”
Noah was right…but also wrong.
“It must have been quite a debt, too,” Wayne interjected. “The Demons really stepped up for your father, Zach.”
“What do you mean? What else besides making sure Moretti didn’t kill me?”
“Well, that’s a pretty big damned deal, Meadows,” Connor countered. “Keeping you and Noah alive turned out to be a full-time job.” He motioned for Wayne to turn on the television. As Wayne held up the remote and started channel surfing, Connor continued, “Wayne kept the brotherhood up to date on what was happening with you and Noah, who we thought the threat was coming from, and then, eventually, who was responsible for Noah’s abduction and attempted murder. All the while, Wayne was busy trying to keep yours and Noah’s asses safe, mine satisfied, and the club up to date. He was doing all of this while you were bitching at him and sending him the stink eye every chance you got. I bet you feel like shit now, don’t you, Meadows?” Connor scratched at the wound covering Zach’s heart but did it in a way that only a best friend could.
Zach did feel like shit. He didn’t like that Wayne had once been a member of the same clusterfuck he’d been involved with, but he totally understood where the guy was coming from. Their lives had been very similar but the exit from the club so very different. He still couldn’t begin to comprehend why his father would want to protect him. None of it made sense.
“Wait! There. What’s going on?” Noah yelped, startling Zach from his thoughts. His lover, as weak as a kitten, struggled to rise up into a sitting position so he could get a closer look at the television. Zach helped Noah up and then moved to sit directly behind him, offering a solid wall of muscles and love for him to lean back on since Zach knew Noah wouldn’t have the strength to hold himself up. Once Noah was situated, Zach glanced at the television to see the Moretti name flashing across the bottom of the screen while news reporters were gathered outside a huge mansion. Helicopters flew overhead and police tape decorated the background for the reporter as she talked into her microphone.
“Turn it up,” Noah yelled.
The four of them sat in silence, listening to the latest news on the Moretti crime family. Zach’s throat tightened up in fear for about two seconds before his heart exploded with joy and relief.
“Last night, while the FBI was busy investigating the possible murder of the senior Moretti crime boss in his prison cell, it appears some sort of vigilante justice took place at the luxurious home of Dante Moretti, the son of Donovan Moretti and the apparent next-in-line to rule the notorious Las Vegas crime family—alleged crime family. Our sources are telling us that during a meeting between Dante Moretti and his top advisors, to discuss the recent death of his father, someone—or several vigilantes according to unconfirmed reports—shot their way into the heavily armed compound and murdered every attending member, including Dante Moretti. Sources tell us the massacre may have been the work of a rival organization taking advantage of Moretti gathering his troops and convincing them of his ability to fill his father’s notorious shoes. While we haven’t received solid confirmation from the FBI agents on the scene, our behind the scenes informant verifies the deceased are only members of the Moretti organization. We will continue to update you as we receive details. Hopefully what happens in Vegas won’t stay in Vegas this time, and we’ll be able to shed more light on the gruesome details of justice…vigilante style.”
The reporter smiled into the camera like she was the funniest comedienne in the world, and Zach’s heart soared straight out of his fucking chest. Moretti was dead?
Noah was safe.
“Oh, my God! He’s dead, Zach. Moretti is dead.” Noah gushed and wiggled around for a hug. Before Zach knew what had happened, Noah straddled his lap and kissed him with reckless abandon. He was practically doing a lap dance while their lips tangoed. When he broke away for a breath, Noah said, “He’s dead and you didn’t have to kill him. Holy shit. He’s dead. I’m safe. You’re safe.” He leaned in and whispered against Zach’s ear, “I really want you to fuck me right now. I can’t promise I won’t pass out from weakness right in the middle of it, so I’m gonna tell you ahead of time that it’s the best I’ve ever had. He’s fucking dead, babe. No more worries.”
Zach couldn’t help but laugh at Noah’s enthusiasm. The smile on his face, spider bites and all, transformed him into an angel.
“Jeez, guys, get a room,” Connor grumbled good-naturedly. “I’d hold out until Zach made an honest man of you, Noah. Let the well dry up until he puts a ring on it.”
Noah looked over his shoulder at Connor and said, “This well ain’t ever gonna dry up, Conn.”
Zach eased Noah out of his lap, which wasn’t an easy task since his lover saw what was going on and tried to lock his legs into a vise around Zach’s waist. After a full minute of nips, bites, growls, and whimpers of disappointment, Zach had Noah lying on his back in the hospital bed they’d moved into their bedroom. “Don’t make me strap you down,” Zach warned playfully.
“Promises, promises,” Noah whined. “Forty percent and not one percent higher. Understood?” he demanded with a bottom-lip pout that would have made any five-year-old proud.
“Understood,” Zach agreed.
“Yeah, we’re gonna go now,” Connor said. “I suspect the FBI will be paying us a visit, and Wayne will need to disappear before that happens.” He glanced at his wristwatch and added, “If I play my cards right, I might have time for a quickie before I send him on his way.”
Noah frowned. “Why does he need to hide from the FBI? That doesn’t make sense.”
“The local authorities know me from my days with the club, Noah. They don’t trust me, and I’m sure they wouldn’t hesitate to share that with the FBI if they knew of any connection between me and you. I’ve got nothing to hide, but I’d rather not open a can of worms if it doesn’t have to be opened.” He shrugged and laughed. “Anyway, I’ve been getting a lot of quickies because of my hiding-from-the-FBI status. It’s not like I’m really suffering.”
Connor slapped his ass. “Let’s go, big guy. I’ve got plans for you, and I think Noah has plans for our sweet little Zachary.”
Before walking away, Wayne turned back to Zach and said, “Your protection was a gift from your father, Zach. He would love to talk to you if you could ever find it in your heart to visit him. Your call, man. I’m just delivering the message.”
“Moretti?” Zach asked quietly.
Wayne winked at him and answered. “Moretti was a gift from Gabriel. He said to make sure you knew it was his own personal gift. There wasn’t time to get word to your father about Noah’s rescue. Gabriel had to act with the information he had and didn’t want to risk Moretti fleeing the country before justice could be handed out.” Wayne shrugged. “I have no idea what he owed your father, but it must have been a hell of a lot. Either way, Moretti is dead and both you and Noah are safe.” He started to leave and then turned back around again. “Oh…and, of course, he said to tell you the club might have to call on your expertise one day and he hoped you’d be willing to assist the brotherhood if it called for it.”
With the dropping of that atomic bomb, he walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.
“Shit,” Noah whispered. “Is that bad? Do they like…own you now?”
“They’ve always owned me, babe. They always have, and it looks like they always will.”
“You gonna be okay with that?”
Zach smiled. “I’m more than okay with that, Noah. By killing Moretti and pretty much wiping out his entire family, they’ve given you the opportunity for a safe and normal life.” He kissed Noah softly and tenderly, showing as much love as he could possibly show. “I love you, Noah, and I swear I’ll never hold those words back again. I’m sorry I was so weak and unable to give you my entire heart. You know you have it, right? You have all of me, babe. I love you with my good parts and my bad parts.”
Noah smiled sleepily. “The words are definitely nice to hear, Zach, but I didn’t have to have them. I knew how you felt about me. You might not have wanted to love me, but you couldn’t stop yourself.” He grinned. “I’m too lovable.”
“You are definitely that.” He kissed the top of Noah’s head and snuggled him tighter against his side until they were spooning.
“I feel fucking invincible,” Noah whispered. “I survived Dante, being alone in a place I didn’t know was safe, and didn’t have a massive coronary over the spiders. You’re in the presence of a fucking badass, Zachary Meadows. Open those curtains, Dr. Meadows,” he ordered as he pointed to the heavy black curtains that blocked out the outside world from his safe zone.
Zach grinned, pretty much knowing where this was going. He eased away from Noah, careful not to jiggle anything that didn’t need jiggling and started to stand up.
“What in the hell are you doing, man? If you touch those curtains, I’ll rip your arm off,” Noah chirped playfully.
“One day, Noah. One day,” Zach promised. “You’ll get there.”
“I know I will. I wasn’t kidding about that carnival trip. I want that more than anything in this world. With you by my side, I know I’ll get there.”
“Yep, and I promise to touch you inappropriately on the Ferris wheel. I love you, Noah,” he whispered, but Noah was already asleep.
Peace would do that to a man. Peace and love.