Scar

I lost him again. At that same railroad crossing where it happened the first time. He crossed, I got the train in my face. Last time, I sped off after him as soon as the train passed, but couldn't find him again. This time, I'm hoping it'll be different. God damn trains, what the fuck are they still good for?

The wind tunnel caused by the freight train is a tornado against my face, but I don't move back, not even an inch. I hardly feel the wind anyway, all the rage I called up for my brother together with Lynn bolting are creating a wall with me on one side and the rest of the world on the other. Nothing but cornering my brother will change that. It might not change even after I corner and kill him.

The rest of the world hasn't held much meaning for me in a long time, and I haven't been interested in being a part of it either. With Lynn way on the other side of that wall now, what's the point of it coming down at all?

What the hell does she want? A two-story house with a picket fence and me as a husband? So that she'll what, cook and clean for me while I fix shit around the house and mow the lawn? She wants that with me? With the Scarred Devil? Bad men are scared shitless of me. I'm not meant to have a normal life. That shit isn't for me and never was. And why'd she wanna get tied down to something like that? She wouldn't!

Now if only that voice in my head saying, "Maybe she knows what she wants", would shut the fuck up everything could go back to normal.

Even before the train's done passing, I concede that I'll have to ask the brothers for help getting my hands on Reggie. He's holed up too tight with the Renegades, and I'm out of patience. This shit's got to go my way. Nothing else has in a while, so this has to.

My phone's vibrating in my pocket and I hate the sweet anticipation of seeing Lynn's number on the screen as I fish it out. Especially after it turns more sour that curdled milk once I realize it's not her calling. Unless she's calling from some other number…

"Hello, Bobby," Reggie says, that queasiness in my stomach from a second a go pleasant compared to what I feel now. It's a good thing I pulled up to the side of the road to answer the phone.

"I heard you've been looking for me, so I decided to give you a call," he says in that charming, pleasant voice he uses when he's tricking people into thinking he's not a psycho monster. It doesn’t work on me.

"Yeah, Reggie, I've been looking for you. And you've made your final mistake stopping off so close to my home," I say.

There's no harm letting him know I've already found him. It might even make him turn his bike around and head back in a panic. Head back right past where I'm waiting.

"That was no mistake," he says and laughs. "Never mind hiding from the cops, I knew you'd keep coming after me once you found out I was out. You always were like a dog with a bone about that. And as far as I understand it, your best friends are now running your MC, so I figure you'd get their help like you did when you snatched that waitress from us."

He shouldn't have talked about Lynn, but this is the last time he's gonna.

"So face me one on one, once and for all. Stop running from me and face me," I say. "Or are you too scared?"

He laughs again. "You don't scare me, little bro. You might scare everyone else, but you'll always be that screaming, crying little weakling I cut up to me. Don't worry, I'll face you, it's why I'm calling. But first I got an errand to run."

What fucking errand? Either he's gone off the deep end completely in the last twelve years, or he's playing a game with me. It's the latter, because he was born insane. But I'll bite. I need a time and place.

"An errand? What, the Renegades got you grocery shopping for them like some bitch?" I ask.

He laughs like I've just said the most pleasant funny thing in the world. "Not groceries, but I am getting them a present. It's the least I could do to thank them for letting me stay at their clubhouse."

He's telling me this because it concerns me, I get that, but I have no idea how it concerns me.

"Alright, so you are too scared," I say. "Then just enjoy your shopping trip and me and my friends will come to you."

"You'd like the present I'm getting them," he says, this weird conversation starting to mess with my mind. He's a talker, I never was. I like things plain and simple, he likes the sound of his own voice. "In fact, you already do like it very much. Or should I say her. Although there won't be much to call a she after we're done with her this time."

All the air's gone from the world, replaced by burning hot sand. My mouth's full of it, my throat's full of it and my eyes are too.

"Stay the fuck away from Lynn!" I growl. "Or I'll kill you slow."

He laughs again, and it lasts a fucking long time. "You and your buddies shouldn't have taken her from me the first time. She was the Spawns’ property by then. Me and Lizard wanted to go against you, but the Spawns' old president didn't want to move against the entire Devil's Nightmare MC and the Wolves too. Fucking coward. But she wasn't yours anymore, she was mine."

The way he says, "mine" takes me right back to that rainy afternoon when he cut up my face. But I'm not that screaming, scared boy anymore.

"She's mine now," I growl. And I mean it. No part of my mind doubts it in any way. I’ll never let her go again.

And right now, the only thing that matters is keeping her safe from Reggie. The only thing. Fuck just protecting her. I want her by my side all the time.

I just hang up. There's no more time for threats and there never was any reasoning with Reggie. He doesn't have her yet, and he can't be more than a couple of miles ahead of me. I can reach her faster. I better reach her faster. Because if anything happens to her, the whole world will burn.

* * *

Lynn

I woke up at dawn, feeling just as lousy as I did before I fell asleep last night. That feeling of being used, of being just a piece of meat for anyone to ravage is back with a vengeance, and I can't shake it. Even the man I love, have loved for a long time, the man who saved my life, the man I've esteemed above all others even when he was gone from my life. He just used me too. Didn't force me, didn't tie me down, didn't beat me into submission, but he used me just the same. The only difference is, I let him. How could I not see it?

I only texted my mom briefly, telling her not to expect me home today or tonight. Didn't give any reasons, didn't even check for a reply from her.

I can't go back to the life I lived before Scar came back into it, and I can't move forward with him to the life I wanted, the life I craved, the life I hoped we would have.

That's not for me.

The life for me is on the ranch. Taking care of abandoned animals no on else wants.

That's why I volunteered to go speak to the people who run the riding school when the reports this morning said the fire is raging again, and that it'll cut right through the area where the school is.

They need to take those horses to safety, and I'll make them understand that. Bethany and Raul were against me going, but Tammy agreed with me, although Bethany wouldn't let her come along. I heard the shaking in her voice and the pleading in her eyes as Tammy stood her ground, so I said I'll be going alone, got in my car and that was that.

Tammy has a life to live. As for me, I'm just a broken woman with no real life. Pretty much everyone is better off not having to put up with me, including myself. The only ones who truly need me are the animals, which includes those poor horses.

The heat outside starts rising the higher up the hill I get on the way to the school, and the smoldering patches of foliage are close to the road here. But there's no flames near yet. I still have time to save the horses before the fire comes.

I've crested the hill atop which the school stands, will reach the stables in another couple of minutes. I'll outrun the flames and the horses will too.

"Is anyone here?" I yell as I get out of my car in the wide driveway in front of the ranch house. The air is hot and smells like it shouldn't be breathed. There are no other cars in the driveway and from the stables just to the left of it, I can hear the horses neighing even over the weird hushing sound in the air. That's gotta be from the fire getting closer, but I hope I'm wrong.

"The horses need to be transported off this property!" I yell. "The fire will pass here."

Still no reply.

I run up to the house to bang on the doors, even though I'm pretty sure I'm the only human being up here. The door gives way as I slam my fist against it. The house isn't just empty of people, it's empty of furniture and appliances too. There's a broken plate on the floor in the foyer, along with a lady's dress, shoes with no pairs and some jeans just lying there. The owners left in a hurry. They took their valuables, but they left the most valuable thing. The horses.

I run to the stables, even though I know I have almost zero chance of getting all of them down this hill to safety before the fire comes. Not on my own anyway. I'd hoped the owners would be here, that they'd help. But I'm gonna give it my best try.

If I hurry, I can make a couple of trips up and down, I'm sure I can. I'll have to. Because the transporter trailer parked at the side of the stables is only big enough for two horses. Maybe I can fit three in there—

"What's such a pretty lady doing up here on her own?" a man's voice asks behind my back.

I know that voice. I fear that voice. But I don't recognize it.

When I turn, I'm facing a huge man with a large smile that's anything but inviting. He's wearing a black leather biker jacket and boots. Another biker is standing by my car. A third is near the trees, the chrome handles of his Harley gleaming red from the flames now raging just beyond the ridge.

Maybe these are Scar's friends, maybe he sent them to bring me down from here. But he'd never send strange bikers and not come himself. He knows my fears, he knows what men who look like these did to me, he saw it. And I fear this voice. I know this man.

I'm frozen in place as the memory surfaces. I should run, sprint all the way until I reach those flames, because burning alive would be a better death, a kinder death that the one which awaits me once this man grabs me.

He's the one who grabbed me in the parking lot. I remember his voice from the ride to that vile dark room where they kept me, telling me how pretty I am, how glad he is to finally meet me.

I remember his face too now, grimacing as he raped me later that night, and probably on many nights after, but all those are still congealed together into a black mass of pain and sorrow in my mind.

"It's time for you to come with me," he says and grabs my arm.

I have to run! I have to fight him off this time! I'm not going back to that room!

And the voice in my mind that's been telling me this since I laid eyes on him finally gets through to my legs. I yank my arm out of his grasp and bolt to the trees. But another man is waiting there too, and I watch him get off his bike to block my path as though it’s happening in slow motion. I know I won't get past him, but I don’t stop sprinting.

And then not even that matters anymore. The one who spoke, my kidnapper, catches up and slams into me. My knees collide with the ground, my palms scrape against the gravel as I use them to break my fall. He lifts me as though I weigh nothing. For all my kicking and screaming, his grip on me remains like a vice. Just like it was that night.

My body's defense wasn't enough, so my mind is already taking over, sending me to that black nothingness where I feel nothing, see nothing, think nothing. To that dark void where I spent the better part of my captivity and a long time afterwards too. My safe place. I wish I'd made more of the twelve years I had outside it. Because I'm not coming back from it a second time.