Chapter Nineteen

Eddie

Callie has put up a strong front, but I can see she’s broken, no matter how many times she tries to reassure people she’s okay given the circumstances. Given the circumstances. I never understood why people ask how you’re doing in times of tragedy. Every time someone asks her, “How she is doing?” I want to look them in the eye and shout, “How do you fucking think she is doing?” But I don’t, I stand strong and give her hand a small squeeze. I watch as Callie and Dane’s families start to gather around and take their seats, along with what looks to be all Beau’s friends. Beau wanted to be cremated and not have a traditional funeral. Jaynie asks everyone to be quiet and her voice is so shaky from nerves I ask Damien to go give her a hand. I watch as he walks over to her, places a hand on her shoulder and whispers in her ear, she nods her head. Damien whistles and gets everyone’s attention. “If everyone would please take their seats, we have a young man to pay our respects to.” he says before heading back towards Callie and I; we have now taken our seats in the front row next to Dane and his wife.

“I’d like to thank everyone for coming. As everyone knows, Beau’s always done things his own way and he left something for you all to watch.”

A kid I don’t know gets the video started and pictures of Beau and his family start flashing on the screen. I look over and watch Callie as she watches the video. Her eyes start to glaze over and tears roll down her cheeks, all the pain she’s been holding in has started to let loose and I really hope she can get through the funeral. When I turn my attention back to the video, it’s ended and Jaynie stands to address everyone.

“Beau made me promise to give a great speech about him, so here goes.” Her hands tremble as she unfolds a piece of paper. “Beau-Dean, Beau and I never needed labels, bar one. He wasn’t my boyfriend, or my best friend, he was my soulmate. I know how that must sound since we are both so young, but from the first time I laid eyes on him I knew he was it for me…only he didn’t know it.” A few people laugh, obviously they know the history between the two. “He was something different to everyone, but to me he was the boy I married over and over again on the oval at lunchtime as a five-year-old. He was the sweet kid who gave me his most precious treasures, played cars with me in the dirt, and picked daisies for our weddings. Beau always bought laughter to my life, he was the little boy who set the standard that other boys had to measure up to. Little did we know, we were both just made for each other. He had this very unique laugh that made his eyes crinkle when I bagged him out over how all my girlfriends swooned over him. If I could say one more thing to him it would be, “Thank you for all the memories.” And If I had one more wish, it would be for him to see himself through my eyes, so he could truly see what he meant to me because words really can’t express that. There is one reason why everyone who knew him, loved him, he was a one in a million.” As she finishes her speech, she falls to the ground. She may only be a kid, but that was powerful, even I shed a few tears. Callie is hugged into my side, and I wish there was something I could say or do to take her pain away. We watch as his friends give speeches, and Dane and his wife say a few words.

“Did you want to say a few words?” I whisper in her ear.

“I can’t. I thought I was ready, but I’m not. I can’t say goodbye; I don’t want this to be it,”

As the words come out of her mouth, I get an idea. I stand and lean over to Damien and ask him to get my guitar from the SUV; I always carry the one Amelia and Sasha gave me, it never leaves my side. Callie looks up at me, confusion on her face. “I’ve got you,” I say, kissing the top of her head. Walking to the front of the crowd, Jaynie pulls me aside and whispers a song in my ear, I nod before walking to the podium.

I start to get nervous, I can handle a crowd of thousands upon thousands when it comes to music, but now my nerves are shot and I hope I’m doing the right thing.

“Hi, I’m Eddie. I didn’t know Beau very well, but I know he loved his mum and she loved him. I know there must be a million things Callie could say about Beau, but she can’t find the words to do him justice. So, I want to dedicate this song from Callie to Beau. It’s a not very well-known song called Wings by Birdy. Damien walks over and hands me my guitar, all eyes are on me. I hear a few kids whispering about a rock star being at Beau’s funeral, but today I’m not a rock star, I’m the boyfriend of a grieving mother.

After a few quick goodbyes, Callie asks me to take her to Jules’s to pick up some clothes. I don’t argue or question why; if she wants to stay with me, I’m more than fine with that. Hugged to my side, still wearing her big black sunglasses, Damien pulls into Callie sisters’ driveway behind Jules’s car; she must have left before we did. I feel Callie tense up when she realises her sister is home.

“Would it be okay if you wait here?” she asks, removing her glasses, her eyes still red and glassy from crying.

“Sure,” I say. She opens her door and slides from the car. I check my phone and have a missed called from my lawyer, I dismiss it for today. I won’t let Alex make Callie’s day any worse than it has to be. After five minutes, I can hear some mumbled yelling coming from the house. I look over at Damien, unsure if one of us should check, Damien just shrugs. I decided to wait a few more minutes, coming in the middle of a family fight isn’t always a good idea.

“CALLIE STOP!” Jules yells as Callie exits the house, pulling a suitcase. Damien and I both open our doors and get out of the car. Damien takes the suitcase from her.

“Just drop it Jules, I’ve made up my mind,” Callie says, turning back to her sister. “I can’t and won’t do this again with you. You have a baby to think about, not an emotionally unstable sister. I’m taking responsibility for myself this time.”

“How, by moving in with an equally unstable rock star?” Jules says and turns to me. “No offence.”

“None taken, but maybe you can give Callie a few days and then talk about it again,” I say, not meaning to intrude. Jules just places her hands on her hips and huffs.

“It’ll be okay, I promise, I’m okay, Eddie’s okay” she says and now they’re both looking at me. “Tell her you’re okay.”

“I’m okay,” I say, hoping I’ve said the right thing.

“Well, that settles it then,” Jules says sarcastically before turning and storming back inside the house.

Callie gets in the car and I follow behind her, the ride back to my house is quiet and she doesn’t say anything. I want to say something to help comfort her, but every time I open my mouth no words come out. What could I possibly say that would help her right now? As we approach my house, I sigh with relief that I asked Damien to make sure no one was here today in case Callie had wanted to come back. Shan, Misty, and Penny have flown home to pack their things, we’d made it clear to Oliver the girls will be our opening act. Delilah will be off doing whatever she does when I’m not around, and Mickki, Brodie, Benny, and Drew are working on a few things at Mickki’s place.

I ask Damien to take Callie’s things and leave them in her living room. As we walk into the house, I ask if she wants something to eat, she just shakes her head and says she’ll go lie down for a while. Once again, I try to find some words to show her how much I care and that I’m here if she needs me, but instead I watch her walk away and out of my sight. What have I gotten myself into? She’s going to need someone better than you, you’re a disappointment.