Connor

Coming home yesterday had been a huge relief.

For the past few weeks, I’d been catching myself staring at the ultrasound picture on Quinn’s fridge, and finally, I’d taken it, shoving it into my pocket. I was hoping, by showing the guys and Kenna that, it would maybe make the situation real for me.

But then, last night, Alys had called me, wasted off her ass, and made me sing for her. I found myself distanced from Quinn and our baby even more.

When I woke up in the morning, I headed for the Plantation House. Jason, Sheri, and a grumpy-as-fuck-looking Phil sat in the kitchen in the big half.

“Where’s Kenna?” I asked as I opened the fridge to snag some orange juice.

Phil’s scowl deepened as he crossed his arms over his chest. “New York.”

My eyebrows shot up. “Oh. Without you?”

Sheri closed her eyes in resignation. I remembered Tim had had a similar method of dealing with Phil when the man was in a foul mood.

“Yes,” Phil snapped, glowering at our poor manager.

“Thanks, Connor,” Sheri hissed.

“How is that my fault?” I poured some juice in a glass.

“Because I wouldn’t let him go with her. It’s his turn in the studio, and he’s turned into a little bitch because of it.”

I laughed.

Phil threw me a look to set me on fire, and I laughed harder.

“How long will she be gone?” I asked.

“She’s coming back Monday afternoon. Mike needed her to see a show from a band and interview them. The person who was supposed to cover it fell through.”

“Huh.”

Phil’s grump face was downright nasty. I thought it might be a good idea to get the man ripped, so I reached into my pocket and pulled out my joint supply. The ultrasound picture came out with it.

I tossed Phil the case, which he happily helped himself to.

“You guys wanna see the little bugger?” I asked, spreading the print out on the table.

Phil sparked a spliff and pulled the series of three photos toward him. No longer glaring death rays at everything, he looked up at me. “You excited yet?”

I shook my head. “I’m still waiting for it to hit. I hoped, by taking this with me and showing everyone, that it would spark something.”

Sheri snatched it up, peering closely at each one. “How far along is she now?”

“A little past seven months.”

Her elegantly arched golden brows knit together.

“What is it?” I asked.

“How many months is twenty weeks?”

A tingle shivered down my spine. “Well, they count four weeks as a month in pregnancy…”

Something clicked in my head.

Sheri stared up at me with her big silvery eyes. I stared back at her.

“Shut the fuck up,” said Phil.

“When did she get the ultrasound?” demanded Sheri.

I swallowed. “Four weeks ago.”

“So, she’s really maybe six months along.”

“It’s not mine,” I breathed.

Relief was the first thing I felt. So much of it, my knees went all wobbly, and Phil got up and shoved a chair under my ass.

Holy shit, thank fuck, it ain’t mine.

“How could Quinn think the baby is yours then?” asked Jason.

Sheri rolled her eyes. “She doesn’t. Damn, Jace, you can be so fucking dense sometimes.”

Stunned, I drifted my gaze over to Phil, who had the same look on his face.

“It’s not my kid.”

Sheri’s fist hit the tabletop. “Fuck yes. You had the lawyers draw up the paperwork, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Has she signed it?”

“I haven’t gotten it back from them yet.”

“You’ll have it the next time you go over there. If she signs, then she’s nailed her own fucking coffin shut. The fucking nerve of her!”

The rush of anger that flushed through my system had me seeing red. Quinn’s fucking stunt had destroyed the fragile beginning of my and Alys’s public relationship. I had lost the one person who mattered more to me than anything in the universe. The woman I was supposed to live my life with had been so broken by me knocking up Quinn, she’d left.

“Hey, ease up,” said Phil, dropping his hand over my clenched fist.

Looking down, I realized I’d crushed the ultrasound.

“Why did she do this to me?” I whispered, tears burning my eyes, searing my sinuses. “She wrecked everything between me and Alys. The only thing I ever wanted…”

Not completely, I thought.

Last night, my Sunshine had called me, heartbroken, needing the love only I had for her. She might’ve been wasted, but she had reached out for me.

She’d told me she loved me.

Hope blew up in my chest.

“Can the lawyers have that shit ready by Monday morning?” I asked Sheri.

She whipped out her phone. “You’ll have it today.” She stood up and walked out of the kitchen, phone held to her ear.

Jason got up and followed her.

I looked over at my brother-in-law. “Will you go with me? I don’t trust myself to be alone with her. I…”

Phil clapped his massive paw on my shoulder. “Of course.”

Working with Phil over the weekend was a fucking pain in the ass. I loved the guy, but he turned into an epic asshole without my sister around. He’d bark at every little thing and sneak away to talk to Kenna on the phone too much, and his focus was shit.

“Pull your ass together, Deveraux,” I snapped at him. “You take that fucking phone out one more time, and I’m taking it from you. Shit, you’re like a fucking teenager.”

“Fuck off.”

“Fuck you! Damn it, I wish you had just gone with her. I could do a better job without your bitchy ass around. I’d have the whole fucking lineup down.”

He opened his mouth to unleash some verbal garbage at me but somehow stopped himself. Closing his mouth again, he tossed me the phone. “Keep it until we’re done for the day.”

Surprised and more than a little impressed, I stowed it in my pocket. “How you don’t drive my poor sister insane is anyone’s guess,” I muttered.

“Who says I don’t? I’m pretty sure she’s batshit crazy for putting up with my ass.”

It was our last day in the studio before Devon would be coming home tomorrow evening to take over with Jason. Flipper and I would have to take some time later in the week to nail down some rhythm bits, but we had a flawless way of working together.

“What time are we leaving tomorrow?” Phil asked.

“Early, like six. Is Kenna flying home with Devon?”

Phil threw me a real nasty look. “He’s meeting her when his flight from London comes in.”

I smirked, and he chucked his pen at me, hitting me above my left eye.

“Shit, asshole!” I rubbed the sting out, wondering if the point had drawn blood. “You could’ve blinded me!”

“Quit trying to make me jealous.”

“Can’t make you what you already are. For real, man, she just fucking married you. Why would you be jealous of GianFranco?”

“Because he’s too fucking pretty. You know he’s with Alys right now, right? She’s been living in his flat in London.”

The blood froze in my veins as I stared at him in shock. “She’s in England?”

He nodded, pulling another pen from his fathomless pockets. “Yup. Looking into property for us to open up another Bougainvillea.”

Hellfire erupted beneath my sternum. “Has she been with him this whole time?”

“Who’s the jealous fucker now?”

“Fuck you, douche! I thought he was in Japan!”

“He was. He let me know he was back this morning.”

I felt a little relieved at that. If Alys had decided to take comfort with the gorgeous guitar genius, there was nothing I could do about it. I wasn’t too sure I could hold it against her either.

The fuck I wouldn’t.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, searching for some calm and quiet.

I wouldn’t hold it against her because that was what I’d been doing since I was fourteen. If and when she was ready to come home to me, I would have to accept her as she was, with what she had done. I would, too, because living without her was just wrong. My life felt fucked without her in it.

“Is Alys coming back, too?” I asked softly.

Phil looked into my eyes, and I knew he understood how I felt. Without Kenna, he was just half of himself. Just as I was without Alys. I didn’t see pity though.

“I don’t think so. I haven’t heard that she is.”

I nodded, looking down at the floor.

“You could always head there when the jet gets back. Take a few days off, brother. After all the shit you’ve been going through, it might be a good idea.”

“Yeah,” I said.

Phil pulled the van into Quinn’s driveway a little after nine, Monday morning.

“You ready to do this?” he asked.

“I don’t know. I’m scared I’m going to blow up on her. She’s taken so much from me.”

Not just money, a car, and a whole lot of other material shit. She had taken all the joy from my life, all the hope and love. All the Sunshine.

“That’s why I’m here, brother,” said Phil. “Come on. The sooner we’re done with this shit, the sooner I can eat. I’m fucking starving.”

As early as we’d gotten up this morning, Phil was in a good mood. No doubt because he’d have his Baby Girl back tonight.

I grabbed the paperwork from the lawyers, and together, we got out of the van.

Since Quinn had no idea I was coming, I decided it might be a good to knock before letting ourselves in. When I unlocked and opened the door, I called out, “Quinn?”

She came out from the kitchen, a surprised look on her face. “I didn’t know you were coming back today.” When she saw Phil with me, her eyes widened.

I held up the packet. “The lawyers drew this up. Phil’s here to sign as a witness.”

The blood drained from her face, and she swayed. Phil was by her side in a flash, helping her to the kitchen table to have a seat.

“Are you all right?” he asked her. “You need some juice or something?”

She nodded. “Please,” she whispered.

I dropped the packet before her on the table and went to get her a glass of OJ. She took it from me with a shaky hand and gulped a good amount of it down.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, knowing full well she was scared as hell to be faced with this.

“No-nothing.”

“I just need you to sign where the red tags are,” I told her, taking the packet and flipping to the certain pages.

“What does it say?” she asked.

I took the seat next to her. “Well, it outlines my parental rights as far as visitation and all that. With an infant, it’s best if I come stay with you until he gets older. When he is, I’ll want to take him home with me, and we can discuss those terms later on. It also states the financial support you’ll receive, pending the DNA test. Signing this gives your consent.”

Quinn looked like she was about to hurl.

Phil dug out a pen from one of his pockets. Picking off a bit of lint, he gently placed it on top of the papers.

Her hand trembled as she reached for it. Taking a deep breath, she lifted the first sheaf but quickly shut it, placing her hand firmly on top. “I can’t.”

“What? Why?”

She closed her eyes, tears streaming down her cheeks. “You’re not the father,” she whispered.

I sat back, feeling my hatred for her, for the whole situation, cool down. That Quinn had had enough integrity to come clean helped. I’d thought for sure she’d sign.

“Who is?” asked Phil.

She wiped away the tears and sniffled. “Duck.”

Phil and I stared at each other with identical stunned expressions.

“Duck?” Phil echoed.

Quinn nodded. “He’s touring with the Space Monkeys—”

“Uh, yeah, I know. I’m his employer,” said Phil.

“Well, they came through here before heading for Europe. We hung out for a few days, and usually, I’m so careful with protection.” She looked to me. “You know that. But we got pretty drunk, and I guess we forgot to use a condom once or twice. I had that bacterial infection in my lungs…and it messed with my birth control. By the time I knew I was pregnant, I had no way to get in touch with him to tell him.”

“You could’ve just asked for his info when you crashed the wedding,” said Phil. “You could’ve told us what was going on.”

“I wasn’t thinking clearly. I was about to be evicted. I had no place to go. I never meant for it to go this far. I never wanted to lie about it. But I was so desperate.”

“Quinn…” I said. “We were friends. I would’ve helped you out for that reason alone.”

She dropped her face to her hands. “I didn’t think you would.”

Phil cleared his throat. “Well, the fact is, now, you’ve taken a lot of money—”

Quinn released a muffled cry and dropped her arms, crossing them over the tabletop and face-planting onto them. She started sobbing. “Oh God!” she cried.

I found myself feeling bad for her. She’d truly had nothing, no way to care for herself and her child. She hadn’t had the money to move to a place that would provide work for a pregnant single woman.

“I’ll find a way to pay you back,” she said. “You can take back the SUV—”

“How about this?” said Phil, meeting my gaze. “We know you’re not a bad person, Quinn. You just made a horrible decision, right?”

“I don’t even know anymore. I never thought I’d do something like this to begin with, but I did, and…”

“You were desperate,” said Phil. “We get that.”

We did?

While I was no longer willing to throttle the woman, I was still pretty pissed.

“But we need to set this shit right. I’m going to get in contact with Duck and tell him what’s going on, okay? He’s a decent guy. He’ll come through for you.”

Quinn sniffed and nodded.

“Now, I’ll give Connor the cash for the car and the house. Consider it a gift from me. I would’ve done it for Duck in any case.”

Phil was a generous motherfucker. No matter what, the man looked out for his own.

“And everything I gave to you—the money and supplies…” I took a deep breath. “If you had come and told me you needed help, I would’ve done the same. So, don’t worry about paying it back.”

Quinn looked into my eyes. “If you give me Alys’s number, I’ll call her and tell her myself. I’ll beg her to give you another chance. Whatever it takes to fix things between the two of you.”

I felt my temper rise. My jaw clenched, and I had to look away from her to rein in my anger.

“I’m gonna go smoke a spliff,” Phil said, hastily getting to his feet and hauling ass out the front door.

“Connor?”

I closed my eyes in irritation. “Quinn, I can’t tell you how badly losing her sucks. I’ve been in love with her my entire life. So much shit came between us. I made a lot of mistakes, but she finally was ready to make our relationship official. You took that away from me.”

“She’s the one who left,” Quinn said pointedly.

My eyes snapped to hers, and I could feel the absolute hatred on my face. “She’s dealt with more pain this past year than you could fucking comprehend, and to think I had conceived a child with another woman was just the fucking straw that broke the camel’s back.”

Quinn’s face flushed with shame. “I’m so sorry. I really am.”

I got to my feet. “Me, too. I’m sorry for ever meeting you. For trusting you. For thinking you were my friend.”

She gasped, tears filling her eyes once more.

I shook my head. “You destroyed so much more than our friendship, Quinn.”

“I know. I’ll regret it to my dying day.”

With that, I grabbed the stack of papers and walked the hell out of there.