It’s morning and bright outside the window. I didn’t get much sleep last night. The way the night ended with Jade drove me crazy. I wanted to say more to her, but everything I could think of saying felt like it would make me sound even more pathetic than I already am.

I don’t feel good.

I kept mulling over how things could have been different if I hadn’t run into Matt last night. Jade and I would have left and came back here. I wouldn’t have been able to keep my hands off of her. Hell, maybe we would have even had sex in the limo. If we didn’t have sex in the limo, we would have tumbled into bed together and went wild. It would have been amazing.

Damn Matt for ruining our night. The way he spoke about her made me see red. I overreacted and took it out on her. There was another way, a much better way to do this. I spring out of bed, shower, and leave the suite before Jade wakes up. I don’t want to see her yet. I’m not ready to face her. I need to think and figure out what the hell I’m feeling.

I don’t feel good.

I almost wish I hadn’t brought her with me on this trip. That I could go back to the uncomplicated days when she was my plain PA. So fucking drab sometimes, I didn’t even know she was there. The job just magically got done. Fuck! I really am a bastard.

I go downstairs to the restaurant and all I can think of is being here with Jade. I look at the long buffet table heaped with every kind of breakfast item imaginable and find that I can’t even face the thought of food. I pour myself a cup of coffee, find a seat at a table facing the large windows, and go back to thinking about Jade.

Maybe it was a good thing I ran into Matt. It woke me the fuck up. I don’t want to be like my father, but I am starting to be more like him. How on earth did I get to this point? It’s pissing me off.

Then I think about how she looked last night, right before we quit talking. Her face fell. She looked as if her heart broke. I never intended to do that. Not to beautiful, sexy, smart, funny, amazing Jade. I put my coffee cup down slowly and stare incredulously out of the window.

Oh! Jesus! I’m in love with her.

There is no doubt about it.

I’m in love with Jade Emerson.

What happens when I take her back and people find out I’m dating my assistant?

The knives will be out for her. They are going to say that she gets special privileges because we are together. I can weather the storm, but it’ll destroy her reputation. I think about my mom and how her friends all acted like she had some disease. It wasn’t her fault that my dad couldn’t keep his dick in his pants. I don’t want Jade to go through what my mom had to go through. No one deserves that kind of torment. No one.

People are going to talk. It’s what they fucking do. They’re lives are so goddamn boring, they search for any kind of drama to gossip about. They don’t know how to mind their own damn business. I don’t want our relationship to hurt Jade in any way. I need to sit down and talk with her.

I stand up to go back upstairs and run into Mr. Hatanaka, one of the Japanese businessmen.

“Remington San. Just the man I was looking for.” He holds his hand out to me.

I firmly grip his hand and shake it.

“Mr. Hatanaka, it’s good to see you. I hope you’re not here to deliver bad news.”

I laugh. He laughs, too, but I think more out of courtesy than because he actually found my joke funny.

I’m a little nervous that he is here in my hotel looking for me. I did not expect him, or anyone from his company, to reach out to me so soon. I don’t know whether to take it as a good or a bad sign. I’ve been so consumed with thoughts of Jade and what I should be doing with her, for the first time in my life, I’ve actually put my business on the back burner.

“I would like to discuss with you the opportunity you presented us with the other night,” he says, nodding gravely.

Discuss the opportunity? I thought it was a done deal. I keep my expression neutral and interested. “I was just leaving, but if you would care to sit down, I’ll be happy to go through any details that you are still unclear about.”

“Please. That would be excellent,” he replies.

With a smile, I indicate the chair across from me. He sits, clasps his hands on the table surface, and looks expectantly at me.

It’s hard to read him when he isn’t smashed. The other night he was slapping my back and regaling me with dirty jokes that he would tell, then immediately apologize to Jade for telling them. This morning, his mouth is set in a straight line and his lips are pressed firmly together. His facial expression screams that he is in work mode.

“Can I get you something to drink? Coffee?” I offer.

“No. Thank you.”

“Right. What is it that you wanted to discuss?”

“We are happy with the figures you drew up for us. They are perfect, and your company sounds like the kind of company that we would like to develop a partnership with.”

This sounds like good news, but I don’t want to count my chickens just yet. If they are so happy with my figures what the hell is he doing here? I don’t want to be disappointed.

Like I’ve disappointed Jade.

The thought comes out of nowhere and causes me pain. I push down the strong urge to simply leave this blathering idiot here and go up to apologize to Jade. I’ve been so caught up with my own drama, I’ve hurt her. I force myself to concentrate on what Mr. Hatanaka has to say.

“So…we want to sign with your financial company,” he continues with a big smile. “We think that by going with your company, you can lead us in a newer, more innovative direction. A direction that we can see our company thriving in. Yours as well, of course.”

“That’s great news.” I plaster a big, happy smile on my face. I’m still waiting for the catch. For the ‘but’ with some added stipulations.

“Yes,” he says. “I’m excited to be working with you and your company. I know you’ll bring great things to us.”

“Oh, I will. You don’t have a thing to worry about.” I know I sound cocky. But I hope he takes it as confidence. “I’ll have my lawyers send over the paperwork to you.”

“I look forward to hearing from them,” he says with a polite nod.

A waitress approaches our table and asks if we need anything. Mr. Hatanaka dismisses her politely, telling her that he’s just getting ready to leave. I wave my hand to indicate I’m fine, and she walks away.

Mr. Hatanaka stands up. “I’ll be sending a gift over to your room soon, to honor our newly formed business relationship,” he says.

I stand to shake his hand one more time. “You don’t need to do that, Sir,” I say. I flash my ‘I’m-a-good-guy’ grin. I’m weird about receiving gifts.

“In Japanese culture, we do not deny our friends the pleasure of giving,” he says this with a smile.

I nod my head. “It’s a good practice. Thank you. It’s very kind of you. I’ll be looking forward to your generous gift.”

We say our goodbyes, and I watch him leave. Then my brain immediately switches back to Jade. I want to tell her about the impromptu meeting I just had with Mr. Hatanaka. She was crucial in landing this deal, so I know she’ll be over the moon. But the way things are right now, she’ll probably slap me in the face before I can even open my mouth.

I get up and head back upstairs. A group of smiling, chatting conference attendees wait by the elevators. The last thing I want is to be stuck in a confined space with them while they try to strike up a conversation with me.

I hang back then get into the next free elevator. The doors close, and I’m thankful to be alone inside the elevator car. The elevator comes to a stop on my floor. I get out and go straight to her door. I rap on it. There is no sound from inside. I turn the handle and step into her room. She’s not in it.

This is driving me insane. I want to talk to her. I want to kiss her. I want to tell her I know I acted like an ass last night. I want to tell her that I’ve never felt this way before and it scared the shit out of me. I want to tell her how sorry I am for hurting her. Then I want to tell her I love her and want to be with her. No matter what, we’ll work it out.

I pull out my phone and call her, but her’s is switched off.

I pace the floor. Well, she has to come back. All her things are still here. I decide to get started on my talk for the following day. I sit down on my bed with my laptop, but I can’t concentrate. My inspiration is gone. Jade isn’t here to help inspire me. And it hurts.

At that moment there’s a knock on my door.

“Finally,” I mutter. Thank God, Jade has more sense than me. She’s making the first move to crack the icy wall between us. I rush through the lounge and pull the door open.

“You’re not Jade,” I say, a frown creasing my brow.