Maddie and I are nearly finished with painting her room. The last of her chicken pox spots have cleared from her skin and now that she’s at a hundred percent, the kid is like a whirling dervish. A whirling dervish with a mouth that never stops moving. I swear she hasn’t stopped speaking since she woke up yesterday morning.

Who’d have thought after living on my own all these years and grown set in my ways, I could bear to have a non-stop chatter box. In my apartment. For the whole weekend. With no office distractions. Just the two of us. Where I can’t even hear myself think.

But in fact, having Maddie around is like a breath of clean fresh air. She turns my apartment from the lifeless, cold, stone and steel contraption into a place of laughter and life. Now when I think about it, it’s a damn disgrace, the way this penthouse has sat virtually unused ever since I bought it after the divorce went through. I’d been living in hotels after moving out of the house I shared with Regina and Maddie out of a sense of hope. Maybe I’d win custody and need a house.

Now I have her back and her innocent talk, far from being irritating or bothersome, is a sweet distraction from the unwelcome direction my thoughts seem to keep moving in. Yeah, those thoughts are called Samantha Harper. I need Ms. Harper running around inside my brain like I need a hole in my head.

I’m not in love with Sam or anything, but I have it bad for her. I wish I wasn’t so damn obsessed with her. She’s the only woman who has ever been able to get under my skin and stay there. Sure, I wanted Regina, but that felt more like snake poison spreading through my system. I was so naïve and desperate to make it work I simply imagined all the good things I saw in her. Any kindness, warmth, or joy I made up in my head because that was what I wanted to see. I married a figment of my imagination.

Sam is different. More direct. Real. Honest. Genuinely warm. The way Maddie warmed up to her is proof of that. Kids and dogs always know who they’re dealing with. She is the opposite of Regina.

The first time I took Regina out for a meal she offered to pay half. Of course, I didn’t take her up on her offer, but I was so damn naïve and stupid I was impressed. I didn’t see it for what it was. A ploy to make her appear the opposite of what she was… a spoilt rich girl. If Sam offered, it would be because she makes it a point to pay her half of the meal all the damn time!

And I have to grudgingly admit to myself, she’s a lot fucking smarter. She was right all along. It was the design that needed tweaking. Just watching her work on that circuit board was like watching a maestro conducting a symphony.

On top of it all, she’s a hottie. Her body is hot enough to fry a dozen eggs on. The way we went at it on the lab floor. Like wild animals. It was raw, uncontrollable fiery. She touched something in me that I haven’t acknowledged in a long time. I’d previously believed any hope of passion, excitement or a real true connection with a woman had faded away. She proved me wrong.

Somewhere in this city, she is having a great weekend, unaware she has ruined me. Not to mention got me so fucking horny, I’m afraid my daughter will ask me why I’ve stuffed a whole salami in my trousers. I realize I just need to chill, not fantasize about calling her and asking her what she’s wearing. God, I’d love to know though. She has some tits on her. Big. Bouncy. Lush. I keep thinking of her standing in front of me, naked and oiling those marvelous tits. And my cock gliding, slipping, fucking those oily breasts.

The obsession comes back in full force.

Count to ten, dude. Count to fucking ten. You sure as hell are not in the market for any kind of relationship with a woman.

Especially now, since I have Maddie to think about. Bringing a woman into my life would mean bringing her into my daughter’s life too, which will mean complications and potentially more painful consequences if things don’t work out. I want to concentrate on Maddie. Make up for lost time. Really get to know her.

“Daddy, did you hear what I said?” Maddie demands from the floor.

I carry on running the roller on the wall, but look down at her. She is splattered in a variety of colors. I love this kid to bits. “Uh, no, sorry. Can you repeat the question, please?”

“I said, how old is Sam?”

The roller comes to a stop on the wall. “I don’t know. Why?”

“Just wondering,” she says and carries on painting the lower half of the wall. “She’s very pretty.”

I grin to myself. “Who?”

“Sam.”

“Yes, I guess she is.”

“Do you have a girlfriend, Daddy?”

I glance sideways at her.

She isn’t looking at me, but at the spot, she’s painting.

“No, I don’t. After we paint your room what furniture do you want to put in it?”

“I haven’t thought about it yet,” she says solemnly.

“How about that rocking chair I bought for your last birthday?”

She stops painting and looks down the tray. “It’s okay, Daddy. Don’t worry about it. It’s too far to bring.”

I stare at her. I already know her ways. When she looks down, she’s trying to hide something. “Maddie, I can easily get it sent over.”

She looks up at me then and exhales heavily. “I don’t know where it is.”

My eyes are narrowed. “Why not?”

Her eyes slide away. “Mommy gave it away.”

I stare at her bent head. “What?”

My six-year old daughter looks me in the eye and states, “Mommy always gives away all the toys you send to me.”

I try not to show my rage. Regina, you vile bitch you. Whatever did I see in that psychopath I’ll never know. I’m starting to really hate her. If she were here, I couldn’t guarantee I would be able to stop myself from slapping her conceited, plastic face. I force a smile for Maddie’s sake. “It’s okay, honey. We’ll just have to go out and get you a whole bunch of brand new toys, won’t we?”

She beams up at me. “Daddy, can I have that Japanese doll back too? I don’t mind not having the Miss Osaka, but I do miss Miss Toyko and her green Kimono.”

It’s been a long time since I felt choked up with emotion. I didn’t even cry at my parents’ funeral. I was too shocked by the way they were suddenly both gone. Just like that. Without even a goodbye. Their car hit a speeding grain and silage trailer. The driver was drunk and their bodies were so mangled they had to have closed caskets.

But hearing my daughter ask for the Japanese doll I bought her when she was four makes me want to bawl my eyes out. All these years, I’ve been sending gifts and that selfish bitch has been quietly and mercilessly getting rid of them. What kind of woman is she?

“Daddy?” Her little forehead is creased and her lips are pursed.

“Yes?”

“What am I going to do tomorrow when you have to go to work?”

“You’ll come to work with me again, but Tuesday is Fourth of July, so I’ll have that day off, and we can go to the fair a few blocks over, if you want to. They’ll have fireworks and things like that. You think you might want to do that?”

She nods vigorously, curls bouncing everywhere. “Yes,” she gushes. “That will be sooooo fun!”

“But there’s something else we have to do first. Tomorrow night after I finish work, we’re going to meet with a few potential nannies. We’ll leave early. Does that sound good?”

She hangs her head. “I guess…”

I crouch down next to her. “What’s the matter?”

“It’s just that…” She sighs. “I already had so many nannies. I’m sorta tired of them.”

“Oh honey, I’m sorry about that.” I put an arm around her small shoulders. “You can’t come to work with me every day. Little girls are not supposed to do that, but it won’t be like it was when you were living in England. I promise.”

“You don’t know what it was like there, though,” she points out, ever reasonable.

I smile. “True. You can tell me about it, you know.”

“I know.” She sighs, a child with the weight of the world on her shoulders.

I want to take that weight away from her. She’s too young for it. “Well. How about you tell me when you’re ready,” I say when she remains silent. I won’t push her. I want her to feel she can trust me. That means knowing when it’s time to press and when it’s time to step back and give her space to come to me on her own.

I don’t doubt that any nanny Regina left in charge of her daughter was thoroughly vetted. It doesn’t sound as though this is a case of mistreatment. Aside from the chicken pox, she seems to be a normal, healthy little girl. Wise beyond her years, certainly. Lonely, but not abused.

“What if I kept coming to your office, but I stayed with Sam during the day?” she suggests.

I manage to cringe only on the inside at the mention of Sam’s name. “I don’t think that would work, baby.”

“Why not?”

“Because Sam has work to do.”

“So do you and I stayed in your office,” she points out.

“Yes, but I moved a lot of things around for your sake this past week. Not that I wasn’t happy to do it,” I add quickly. “But Sam can’t do that. She’s working on the prototype, remember? We have to get it finished by the time the conference comes.”

She nods slowly. “Will I get to see her again, do you think?”

“You really like her, huh?”

“Yeah. She’s nice. And pretty.”

“She is both those things,” I agree.

“Is she’s smart?”

“Yes, she’s very smart, too.”

“Do you think I’m smart enough to be an engineer someday?”

“Of course, you are, but I’ll be proud of you, no matter what you decide to become.”

She seems content with this. “Do you think Sam likes ice cream, Daddy?”

“What?” I ask, fists clenched outside her line of sight.

Her head pops up, a big grin on her face. “Maybe, when she isn’t busy, she can come over and have ice cream with us. What do you think?”

Sam, Sam, Sam. No matter how I try, I can’t get away from her. It would seem she’s cast her spell over my daughter, too.