Chapter 25

Kurt pressed End and dropped his phone back into his pocket. He could think of only one thing that could effectively come between Kelsey and this night of hers.

And it was happening.

He wove through the crowd until he found her tucking a pin into a young girl’s hair at the edge of the dance floor. He stopped about ten feet away, taking a few seconds to commit to memory this side of her—the sexy heels and golden hair swept off her neck, the shimmery dress that called out to him to slip it off her enticing curves.

She noticed him before he was ready for her to. His hesitation must have been visible on his face, because her eyebrows knit together in concern as she stood, patting the girl before she bounded off to join a group of other little kids.

“Everything okay?” she asked as he joined her.

“Yeah, but I don’t know how to tell you this. It was Tess. She thought we’d want to know.”

Kelsey clamped a hand over her mouth. “Please don’t tell me it was the protesters again.”

“It wasn’t. It looks like Pepper’s gone into active labor. She was unsettled this afternoon, but I was really hoping we had another day or two. It’s new territory for Tess, but Rob’s willing to stay. They don’t need us, but after seeing how crazy you were about Pepper, Tess wanted to make sure you knew.”

Kelsey clutched the front fold of his suit. “Tonight! Are you kidding? Oh my gosh, you aren’t kidding, are you?”

He couldn’t help but laugh at her unbridled excitement. “No, I’m not.”

“How soon does Tess think it will be? Is Rob able to guess? These things always happen at night, don’t they?” She smoothed his suit back into place. “Oh, Kurt, we can’t miss Pepper’s puppies coming into the world.”

“Honestly, there’s no way to tell. Once the delivery starts, it’ll go for several hours. They usually rest in between deliveries, and I’m pretty sure she’s pregnant with quite a few. It’s possible if we head back early morning tomorrow, we’ll still catch a few being born.”

Kelsey shook her head. “Something could go wrong. She could need us. She trusts us. Rob and Tess are strangers to her.”

“It’s up to you, Kelsey. Whatever you want to do. I know how important tonight is to you.”

She let out a soft sigh, her shoulders dropping and her eyes closing a second or two. When she opened them, she leaned close to whisper in his ear. “Kurt, that room is so lovely. There’s a Jacuzzi and a giant, comfy bed and candles, and you didn’t even get to see it. When things settle down, I’m so taking you back there.”

He closed one hand over her hip. “I’ll hold you to that.”

“Deal. Would you think we have another half hour or so? They’re going to cut the cake and stuff soon. I’d hate to miss that. Shoot, I still have to go back to the inn and get my things.”

“Why don’t you stay here and hang out with your parents a bit longer, and I’ll run to the room to get your stuff. That way I’ll know what to look forward to later, and hopefully you won’t miss anything too important here or with Pepper.”

Kelsey brushed her lips over his. “That works, if you don’t mind.” She hurried to the table where she’d left her clutch and came back with an antique key rather than a plastic card. Kurt knew before seeing it that he’d approve of the room.

* * *

It was Kelsey’s experience that return trips usually felt shorter than the way to a place. This wasn’t the case tonight. First, the winding country roads seemed to snake on forever, then the highway did the same. She reassured herself that the whelping box had been ready for over a week, and a pile of blankets, scissors, and other supplies was already in the room.

It was almost ten o’clock when they rolled into the driveway. Rob was laid out on the couch in the front parlor, and Tess was descending the stairs. A few dogs, Zeus in particular, roused in their kennels and started to bark excitedly as Kelsey and Kurt walked through the front door. Kelsey felt an unexpected tug at her heartstrings. She’d grown to love walking into the house each morning, but this was the first time it felt like she was coming home instead of going to work.

Rob rose to his feet with a yawn. “Nothing yet, Mom and Dad. She seemed close a couple of times, but I think she’s been waiting for you to get your butts back here.”

“Yeah, she’s been dozing the last twenty minutes, but I swear she heard your cars pull in,” Tess said, joining them in the hallway. “She woke up and barked a couple times. We’ve been watching her on the nanny cam so as not to stress her out. She went into her whelping box on her own, and her temp is down into delivery range, so things could pick up quickly. And by the way, you look amazing, Kelsey. I’m sorry you’re missing your friend’s reception.”

“Thanks, and it’s okay. We were there for most of it. We saw the first dance and got the cake to go. There are several slices, if you’re hungry. Which reminds me, I left it in my car.”

Kurt waved her off and headed back out the door.

“Well, I’ve been going since about four thirty this morning,” Rob said. “With the three of you here now, I’ll follow him out. I’ve got another early morning tomorrow. And besides, working at a shelter, Kelsey, you’ve probably seen more births than I have.”

“I’ve only seen a few, but I’ve watched a ton of them on YouTube this last month.”

“I don’t think you’ll need it, but there’s a number for a vet on the fridge. He’s a friend. You can call him at any hour. Though these guys usually do fine on their own. And I suspect Pepper’s an old hand at this.”

“Thanks for hanging out with me tonight.” Tess stepped forward and gave Rob a bear hug, which he returned, lifting her off her feet. She was average height but slender enough to pass for petite. Unlike when they’d met and Tess had looked like she’d stepped out of an upscale fall clothing catalog, tonight she was in yoga pants and fuzzy socks, and her hair was piled high on her head.

Rob gave Kelsey a wink as he reached for the doorknob. “Don’t hesitate to call, no matter what time it is. And when things settle down, make that boy of yours dance another few dances with you. I suspect you won’t get him in a suit too often.”

Kurt was jogging up the porch steps, and with the door ajar, Kelsey didn’t have to wonder long if he’d overheard. “Oh, you never know, especially if she’ll slip back into that dress.” He stepped to the side to let Rob leave. In one hand, he was holding the boxed cake slices, and in the other, her bright Vera Bradley weekender bag.

Kelsey’s cheeks felt hot enough to light a candle at the sight of it. But underneath the embarrassment, she was almost giddy. This was staying-power talk, and Kurt wasn’t shying away from it.

After Rob headed out and the door was shut, Tess gnawed her lip as she eyed Kelsey’s bag. “So, um, I’ve never actually seen a dog in labor, and I’m not going to pretend I don’t want to now, but I don’t want to be a third wheel either.”

“Third wheel, my ass,” Kurt said, ruffling her messy topknot after passing Kelsey her bag. “You’re staying up with Kelsey if this runs late. Besides, someone’s got to do the grunt work.”

Tess wrinkled her nose at him. “Eight years of military service, and they didn’t take the Kurt out of you.”

Kelsey laughed. “I’d better get changed.”

“Hey, did you guys get pictures? Because if not, you should. I can take some for you.”

Kelsey met Kurt’s gaze. “You know, we didn’t think of that.”

“She’s right.”

“Well, we have to change that.” Tess locked her hands on her hips as she scanned the lower floor. “Hey, how about in front of that beautiful staircase?”

Kelsey found herself being shuffled in front of the curved staircase that not long ago had made her hold her breath whenever she’d used it. Now, the steps were solid, and she bounded up and down them throughout her days here without a second thought. Kurt and his grandfather had been busy healing this house. Really busy.

She and Kurt each closed an arm around the other. While Tess flipped on a few extra lights, Kelsey leaned in to whisper, “I’m glad we didn’t get a picture at the reception. Our first picture wouldn’t have the same meaning if it wasn’t taken here.”

Kurt locked his gaze on hers. “It means a lot to hear you say that.”

Tess centered herself about ten feet in front of them and held up Kurt’s phone. “Okay, say ‘puppies.’”

“Puppies,” they said in unison. As if in answer, a determined bark drifted down from upstairs.

After posing for a few shots, Kurt said, “Sounds like we’re getting close to go time.”

Kelsey ducked into the hall bathroom to change into the clothes she’d worn earlier in the day. Sorting through her bag, she realized she’d been so busy the last several days that she’d forgotten to dress in rainbow-color order. Today, a Saturday, should have been a day to wear a purple shelter T-shirt, and she’d worn a blue one. And yesterday she’d worn a green one. Maybe it’s time to let go of the things you used to need to get you through.

She’d no more than hung up the gorgeous dress in the coat closet when Kurt called from the top of the stairway. “Hey, Kels, come on up. It looks like she’s starting to push.”

Kelsey jogged up the stairs and hurried down the hallway. He wasn’t kidding. Pepper was sprawled out in a corner of the whelping box, half panting, half moaning. “Oh, sweet little mama, you’re going to be just fine.” Pepper lifted her head and licked her lips at the sound of Kelsey’s voice. She was on her side, her top back leg lifted off the ground at an awkward angle. “Can you think of anything else we should have on hand? I’ve read lots of blogs, and most say the same thing.”

“I checked through your supplies. I think you thought of everything. How many times have you done this before?” Kurt asked.

“Only twice.” The number sounded very small to her ears. “One of the live births that I saw was a seven-year-old Chihuahua. It was touch and go with her. One of our volunteers is a retired vet. She had to assist in the delivery of all three puppies, or I don’t think the mom would’ve made it. The other birth was a Lab, and she was a pro like I’m hoping Pepper will be. How about you?”

“Zero. I helped deliver a baby to an Afghan woman though. ‘Woman’ is not the right word for it. She was fifteen tops. It was a nightmare.”

Tess, who’d just come into the room, shuddered. “Were she and the baby okay?”

“Thankfully.”

Not for the first time, Kelsey wondered how much Kurt was holding in from all those years of service. He’d lost dogs in his charge and friends who’d been working alongside him… She knew that much. Once in a while, he’d say something specific like this, but he’d never go into any real detail. He seemed to prefer to lock things away and keep too busy to dwell on them. She wasn’t sold on the idea that this approach was healthy long-term. It would be better if he could find release. But that, she suspected, would be something he’d have to decide to do on his own.

From her corner of the floor, Pepper let out a determined groan. The dog’s muscles tensed as she strained.

“She’s contracting,” Kelsey whispered. Sabrina Raven’s house was about to be filled with new life.

Kurt motioned toward the whelping box. “I don’t think she’d mind your company, Kels. Tess and I can hang back so as not to crowd her.”

Kelsey wasn’t about to argue. She stepped over the makeshift plywood playpen, its floor covered with old towels and blankets, and crouched next to Pepper. She stroked the dog’s head and whispered a string of encouraging words. Pepper’s nubbin of a tail wagged a few times before she had a few whole-body contractions. The metallic smell of blood mixed with pungent dog filled the air.

After a few minutes of crouching in place and petting Pepper, Kelsey started developing pangs in her knees. She was thinking about repositioning when Pepper curled around and started to lick underneath her tail.

“I see its face emerging,” Tess whispered. “Oh wow, it’s still in the sac. This is so cool.”

Pepper began to lick vigorously as the first puppy slid the rest of the way out. Tears stung Kelsey’s eyes.

Kurt stood at the edge of the whelping box, a towel and baby nasal aspirator in hand. “So far, so good. It’s better to let her stimulate her pups to breathe than for us to do it.”

With Pepper busy with her baby, Kelsey joined Kurt and Tess at the edge of the box. “I don’t think there’s anything cuter than Rottweiler puppies.”

Kurt met her gaze and winked. “It looks like an encased link of sausage to me.”

Tess laughed. “I hate to say it, but he’s right.”

After several minutes of vigorous licking, the puppy was cleaned of its sac, wiggling about, and whimpering.

“Well done, Pepper,” Kurt said. “Look. It’s already making its way over to nurse.”

Even though it couldn’t support its own weight, the short-legged puppy was clearly making a beeline wiggle toward Pepper’s nearest teat. And still sleek and wet as the little thing was, the brown markings on its face and feet stood apart from the black body, and its squished face was the cutest ever. Kelsey snapped a few pictures to post on the shelter’s Facebook page.

“I was wondering if the father was a Rott too. From the looks of it, he was,” Kurt said.

“They can’t see or hear, but they can sure smell and sense their mother’s warmth, can’t they?” The look on Tess’s face made it clear she was as amazed by all this as Kelsey was.

After one dramatic attempt to shove forward, the little puppy rolled sideways, exposing its smooth belly. Pepper gave it a gentle nudge upright. “It’s a boy,” Kelsey said. She locked her hands together in front of her mouth. “It’s all I can do not to scoop him up.”

“Let him nurse a bit, then you can get him in the basket while she goes to work on number two. I’ve got the heating pad warming up.”

Once the puppy was latched on, Kelsey shot a bit of video. The soft suckling sound of such a tiny, helpless creature was almost too precious.

Pepper rested as her first puppy nursed. Less than ten minutes later, she was panting again. When it was obvious she was close to delivering another puppy, the first puppy was moved out of her way and wrapped in a soft hand towel. Kelsey, who took the first turn holding him, stayed at the edge of the whelping box so Pepper would feel at ease that her puppy was being cared for. After a few minutes, she passed the tiny guy to Tess, who cooed over him as he cuddled deeper into the towel and started dozing in her hands.

Puppies two and three came out one right after the other. The second pup looked exactly like the first. The third pup was much smaller and showed patches of white on its body even while still in the sac.

“She can’t clean them both at once.” Kurt handed Kelsey the nasal aspirator. “Want to suction the nose and mouth of the other one?”

Even though she was a little hesitant to aspirate such a tiny thing, Kelsey knew it needed to be done. Puppies had only a matter of minutes to start breathing after being delivered, and they often needed help from their mom or a human to clear away the sac.

Closer inspection showed the clear, membranous sac was already partially off and not covering the puppy’s face, so aspirating was easier than she’d expected. After a bit of suctioning, the brown-and-black puppy was breathing on her own. “This one’s a girl,” Kelsey said. “And she’s perfect.”

The next several hours passed in a blur. Pepper rested between most of the deliveries, which gave the puppies a chance to nurse. Soon, there were four girls and two boys. Five of them looked like full-bred Rotts, and one, a little male, seemed to be part bluetick coonhound. He had a white underbody speckled with brown and the longest ears Kelsey had ever seen on a dog that was half Rott.

“Looks like Pepper had a midnight rendezvous,” Kurt had said on seeing the little guy.

It wasn’t uncommon in cats and dogs for a large litter to be comprised of offspring from two or three different fathers, especially if the mothers were allowed to roam. Since Pepper had been part of a fighting ring, it was unlikely she was intentionally bred to a hound.

Kurt brewed a large pot of coffee around four in the morning while waiting for puppy number seven to come into the world. He carried up a tray of three steaming mugs of coffee, forks, and the cake they’d brought from the reception.

“Thought the sugar and caffeine might get us through till dawn.” Kurt sat the tray on the old dresser and carried over the cake and forks. He took a seat on the rickety full-size featherbed that Pepper had napped on until she grew too large to get up and down from it easily.

Kelsey continued standing, knowing if she sat on the cozy bed, she wouldn’t be able to get up. Tess collapsed into a straight-backed wooden chair that had been carried in from Kurt’s room. She yawned, rubbing her eyes and tucking her legs into a pretzel shape. She was only a year or two younger than Kelsey, but she had an innocence about her that made her seem younger than her midtwenties.

The cake was perfect. Kelsey’s mouth watered at the hint of almond and the rich, creamy icing. It and the coffee were the pick-me-up she needed. By the time puppy number seven, another girl, had entered the world, Kelsey was ready to keep going until sunup.

Kurt, however, had stretched back on the bed after finishing off a slice of cake and fallen asleep within seconds. He was dozing with his feet still touching the floor. His breathing was soft and even. His shirt had lifted, exposing his smooth, toned midriff, one that she intended to lose hours kissing someday very soon.

Her blood pulsed faster at the thought. If Tess wasn’t here, Kelsey would have been tempted to wake him up for something that had nothing to do with the birth of Rottweiler puppies. Her thoughts brought to mind the last time she’d tried to touch him while he slept. Was he better now? Could he relax enough to fall asleep beside her when total exhaustion wasn’t pulling him under?

Tess, who was squatting beside the laundry basket where they were keeping the delivered pups safe and warm, seemed to read Kelsey’s mind. Perhaps she’d caught the direction of Kelsey’s gaze. “Just like these little guys are going to be, he was a handful even before he went into the service. Dogs were the only thing that could slow him down when he was a teenager. Otherwise he was in hyperdrive. I think I knew him for two years before he willingly took the time to talk to me about anything other than a dog. And honestly, that first conversation was only because I was crying.”

Kelsey had been gathering up soiled towels to take downstairs. She paused while they were still mounded on the floor. “What happened?”

“I can’t remember, so I don’t think it was anything too traumatic. It was probably something one of my cousins did. All I remember is that Kurt bought me my own bag of Sour Patch Kids, and I wished that he could be my big brother and Rob, my dad.” She let out a little sigh. “I think I wished away my big, overbearing Italian family for more years than I should’ve.”

“Well, if it helps, I have two older brothers, and I wished for a sister every birthday until I turned thirteen.”

Tess was opening her mouth to say more when Pepper let out a bark-whine that signaled she was ready to deliver again. Tess had exactly enough time to scoop the eighth puppy from alongside her before Pepper unexpectedly stood and began to pace the whelping box.

“Poor girl. She’s probably exhausted.”

Kurt bolted into a sitting position, his thighs and arms visibly knotting with tension as he cleared his throat.

“She’s about to deliver again,” Tess said.

As quickly as she stood up, Pepper dropped to the middle of the floor and began to bite at her haunches.

“Something’s not right.” Kurt swiped the sleep from his eyes and stepped into the whelping box. He sank beside Pepper, running a soothing hand along her side. She whined and reached up to lick his chin.

“I can see something poking out,” Tess said, straining for a closer look. “But it doesn’t look like the others. There’s something long and, oh, it’s a tail.”

Alarm washed over Kelsey. None of the others had been breech.

Kurt frowned. “They can’t always deliver breech puppies on their own. Plus, she’s getting tired. Kels, want to keep her calm while I try to get it out?”

Kelsey sank beside Pepper and stroked the top of her head. Kurt dashed to the bathroom to scrub and wasted only a few seconds finishing getting ready. Tess took the towel from him, gnawing on her lower lip as she watched.

“Are you going to try to turn it around like in the video we watched, or just help it out?”

Kurt gave a stiff, one-shoulder shrug. “I won’t know till I get in there. Tess, can you hold a flashlight for me?”

Kelsey forced a few deep, calming breaths and stroked Pepper’s head and neck while Kurt worked, occasionally directing Tess to swivel the flashlight in a new direction. “This guy is a giant. So much bigger than the others. And he’s coming out backward. No wonder he’s stuck.”

“Is there room to turn him?”

“No, but I’ve got him halfway out now.”

Pepper whined loudly. Minutes dragged by like hours. Kurt mumbled something about the front legs being more difficult than the back.

If they tried to call a vet now, would he even arrive in time?

“I’ve got one elbow free. If I can get the other one before the next contraction, I think he could be home free. And I should tell you now, he’s incredibly still.”

Kelsey fought back tears. Not only might this puppy be stillborn, but Pepper could get hurt in the process of delivering him. “Come on, girl,” she whispered over and over. “Push that little guy the hell outta there.”

A silence heavier than a thick fog lingered in the room, disturbed only by Pepper’s periodic licking of her mouth. Then the exhausted momma gave a grunt and tensed.

“I’ve got him.” Kurt sank back against his heels, a slimy mess in his hands. “Grab a towel.”

Tess was already lurching for one. She tossed it over, and Kurt began to wipe the gelatinous sac from the puppy’s face. Pepper watched, panting heavily. As soon as the sac was clear, Kelsey suctioned out the puppy’s nose and mouth. Unlike the others, there was no twitching or grunting. The puppy was still, lifeless.

Kurt had told her he’d been trained in CPR for dogs in addition to people, but Kelsey was surprised at the confidence with which he went about trying to revive the puppy. Each second that passed was harrowing. The only sounds were Kurt’s revival attempts and Pepper, panting as she watched. Kurt went from vigorously rubbing and stimulating circulation to actual CPR. As he switched from blowing air into the puppy’s tiny nostrils to chest compressions, Pepper whined. He alternated, back and forth, back and forth, and Kelsey’s heart sank.

Then there was the faintest, almost inaudible sneeze, and Kurt began to laugh. He dragged his mouth across his shirtsleeve and then let his head fall back, letting out a giant exhale. “Ladies, he’s a she, and she’s breathing.”

Tess squealed, and Kelsey threw her arms around him. Later, when it was over and everything quieted down, she’d find time to tell Kurt that he was the sexiest and most amazing man she’d ever met. For now, they had a puppy to introduce to its mother.

* * *

Shining low in the sky, the October sun gleamed inside the windows, filling the house with cozy warmth. The three of them had finished showering and were on the main floor washing towels, finishing off a second pot of coffee, and grabbing quick, standing breakfasts when Patrick and Megan walked in. Kurt suppressed a smile at the squeals and hugs Kelsey and Megan exchanged. Patrick, who didn’t look to be one for physical touch, tucked his hands, palms out, into his back pockets and seemed to lose a beat or two looking at Tess.

Megan glanced Kurt’s way as she and Kelsey pulled apart. “Kels said one of the puppies wouldn’t have made it if it weren’t for you.”

“We got lucky with her” was all Kurt said.

“You get naming rights,” Patrick added. “We’ll hold a contest with the rest of the litter, but you should think of a name for her.”

Kurt gave a nod. “I wouldn’t mind doing that, but I’ll let Kelsey and Tess weigh in.”

“I keep a list of the animals we’ve named since I started. There are eight hundred and forty-seven animals on it, and seventy-six of the names have been used more than once.”

When Patrick said things like this, Kurt wondered what sort of stuff he did when he wasn’t at work. He also wondered how many of those names Patrick could recite off the top of his head. He suspected quite a few.

The group headed upstairs, and Kurt couldn’t help but chuckle over how Kelsey and Tess got just as melty at the whimpers and coos of the pups as they had an hour ago. Patrick took pictures for the shelter’s social media accounts, and Megan happy cried as she snuggled the pup with coon-dog ears against the top of her swollen belly.

The big pup, the girl who’d almost been stillborn, showed no sign of her iffy start. She wriggled about with more strength than most of them, and Kurt didn’t disagree when Patrick suggested she might be part Saint Bernard or Bernese mountain dog.

Almost as soon as they were done, Megan headed back to the shelter, while Patrick stayed behind to work with Devil. Shortly after he started, the first two volunteers arrived to assist with the morning feeding and training routine. From the tremendous reactions the puppies had already received on the shelter’s social media accounts, Kurt suspected there wouldn’t be a moment of privacy here today.

Tonight though, come hell or high water, he’d send everyone away. He had a romantic night to make up to Kelsey. And after inspecting the room at the inn that would’ve been theirs had Pepper not gone into labor, Kurt knew just what to do.

And it involved a quick trip out this afternoon.

Thankfully, with volunteer help and Tess still here—she didn’t have a car, so Rob was coming back for her at lunch—they made good time feeding and working the dogs. Kelsey didn’t start yawning until the morning routine was finished. When she started, she couldn’t stop. She looked exhausted. She’d been awake since dawn the previous morning. Tess, who’d dozed for an hour after the ninth and last puppy was born, was holding strong.

It took a bit of cajoling, but Kelsey finally curled up on a couch in the main front room after the morning volunteers headed out. She was asleep in minutes, and Kurt figured it was as good a time as any to run a few errands.

He nodded to Tess as he grabbed his keys. “Call me if you need anything. William should be here soon. He usually comes earlier in the day, but I told him I wouldn’t be here this morning. He’ll be happy to see you, even if he won’t show it.”

Tess grinned. “I’ll be happy to see him too, and I won’t be afraid to let him know it.” She stepped out on the porch after Kurt as he headed out. “Since you won’t ask, I’m just going to say it. I like her. A lot. I can see her being good for you.”

He paused midway down the steps but didn’t turn around. “Things slow down around her. Everything gets clearer. Like with the dogs.”

Tess crossed over to the railing, locking her arms over her chest as she studied the house across the street. Several painters were there this morning, as well as an electrician’s van.

“That pretty much says it all.” Her smile faltered enough to let him know there was something she wasn’t telling him. Something she was hiding behind that bright-as-the-sun demeanor of hers. He wondered if it was tied to why she’d run off to Europe for a year.

He closed his hand around the metal banister. “Tess, if you ever need to talk…”

She gave a playful wave of her hand, and her smile returned. “If I need to talk, I’ll grab Kelsey or someone else with an inherent gift at two-way conversation. Now go, get your butt out of here to do whatever it is you need to do. The day’s a-wasting, as they say.”

Kurt smiled and tapped the banister with his thumb. As a kid, he’d wished Tess and Rob were family. The older he got, the more he understood it didn’t take being a blood relation to make someone that. “Yeah, yeah,” he said aloud because the bluff was easier than speaking the truth. “If you’re not here when I get back, I’ll be seeing you. Rob says you’re thinking about sticking around.”

She gave a single-shoulder shrug. “Yeah, maybe. I didn’t come home with that intention, but you know how it is, family’s family.”

He headed out, thinking how unexpected it was that everything he could possibly need was all congregating in one city, and most of it was right here, occupying a couple thousand square yards of land. A little over a month ago, as he boarded the first flight home, if anyone had told him that a life he could care deeply about was within easy and short reach, he’d never have believed them.