Chapter 27

The bright sun streaming into the room was disorienting. So was the fur blanket covering the top half of her head. Struggling to shake out of a particularly deep sleep, Kelsey blinked her eyes open. She was on her side, staring at two impressively tall windows overlooking a beautiful oak in full-color foliage.

Her apartment bedroom faced a dark cranny between buildings and never saw direct sun, so even before memory kicked in, she knew she wasn’t home. And the hot fur blanket was obviously not a blanket. It was purring.

She slid out from underneath Mr. Longtail as memory returned. She looked around, rubbing her eyes. Kurt was gone. He’d probably gotten up with the sun. Memories of last night flooded her, along with a happy, contented warmth. Like she’d suspected it would be, the two of them being together was beautiful. It was more than beautiful. It was the most incredible thing she’d ever experienced.

The champagne and cookies sat untouched on the nightstand. She was sorry not to have enjoyed them when he’d put in so much effort, but at least the champagne was still corked. They could open it tonight.

She picked up a couple of cookies—her mouth watered at the plentiful chocolate chips encased in perfectly browned dough—thinking they’d make a nice morning pick-me-up for the two of them. At some point, the candles had gone out, but the rope lighting was still on. The closet door was open, and there was a box on the floor she hadn’t noticed last night. On top of it was a children’s book she’d never seen. It wasn’t something she’d have expected to find lying around in Kurt’s room. Perhaps the book and box had belonged to Sabrina.

After getting dressed, she paused outside Pepper’s room. The proud mamma trotted over to the stair gate, likely needing to pee. “You and me both.” Hearing the soft grunts and whines of the puppies, Kelsey clipped Pepper’s leash that hung by the door and opened the stair gate to her room. Pepper followed as Kelsey jogged to the whelping box for a peek. The sight of the cozy puppies cuddled together made her insides melt with joy. In a little over twenty-four hours, they already looked bigger and stronger. Of the nine, seven seemed to be all Rottweiler. The other two had marked differences—from their siblings and from each other. She suspected Kurt was right about the puppy who’d given everyone a scare. She was a giant compared to her siblings and had the markings of a Saint Bernard mix.

Cookies in one hand and Pepper’s leash in the other, Kelsey headed downstairs. The dogs were awake and ready for the morning routine to begin. Kurt was nowhere in sight. She was dropping the cookies on the counter when she caught sight of his note. Her brow furrowed as she read it.

What did that mean, he hoped to explain in a few days? Certainly it didn’t mean he’d be gone that long.

Or did it?

Her chest tightened at the thought.

Seven years of maturity and figuring out who she was seemed to shrink away. She was that girl from sophomore year again, watching Steve grin at her sheepishly. Sorry, Kels, I just didn’t feel it.

She stumbled out the door onto the back porch, Pepper trailing close behind. Kelsey unhooked the dog after double-checking that no other dogs were out. Pepper trotted down into the open grass to pee, then over to a corner to finish her business.

Kelsey sank into a patio chair and closed her eyes, forcing her breath to be slow and even as she reined in her racing thoughts. She could feel the outline of her phone in her back pocket. She pulled it out and set it on the table. No missed calls, and her battery was almost dead.

She unlocked it and opened her texts, clicking on Kurt’s number and typing out a message.

Saw your note. Things are good here. Take all the time you need. And I agree.

She gave Pepper another few minutes to sniff around, then called her up. She was sliding her phone into her pocket when it vibrated with a new text. Half holding her breath, she looked at the screen.

Thank you. Will explain soon. Tess will help feed until I get back.

It wasn’t much, but it wasn’t nothing either.

Her phone vibrated with a warning that she was down to two percent. Then it vibrated again with another text.

I love you, Kelsey.

Tears stung her eyes. She blinked them away and took a single, deep breath. “I think I knew that already, but thank you for saying it, Kurt Crawford.”

* * *

Kurt was hardly even out of the city and over the Missouri River bridge before doubt crept in about the decision to drive over halfway across the country in hopes of a bit of clarity. He silenced it with heartfelt assurance that this was what he needed to do.

He wasn’t one to believe in ghosts, but he’d heard enough stories to know not to discount deep, personal connections between people. He’d learned firsthand of military parents and spouses who knew intimate details of their beloved soldiers’ deaths before being told. Maybe it was a touch of ESP or something that was yet to be understood. In any case, he was determined not to rethink the decision.

Frankie seemed to enjoy the ride. As soon as the Mustang’s wheels hit the highway, he curled up and went to sleep. He wasn’t the first dog with a perplexing history. Considering the horrific condition he’d been in, it wouldn’t have been surprising if he had little interest in human companionship. The fact that he was so willing to connect was not only touching but a sign that, at some point, he’d been well cared for.

Kurt’s short doze alongside Kelsey had provided the fuel needed to drive till dawn. As the sky lightened behind him, he pulled off at a truck stop south of Lincoln, Nebraska. He fueled up and let Frankie drink out of a spigot at the side of the building. Then he led him on a twenty-minute walk down an adjoining two-lane road marked by a narrow strip of woods and fields stretching out on either side. The sun rose over the horizon, and the fields came to life with birdsong in the chilly fall morning. He stopped to watch a hawk on a wire preening its tail while Frankie sniffed and marked new territory.

Determining it wasn’t too early, Kurt checked in with Tess to confirm that she would be able to hang out at the Raven estate for the next few days to help with the feeding and keep the training sessions going. Then his phone buzzed with the text from Kelsey. Take all the time you need. Her saying it didn’t surprise him. He pulled up her number and was about to hit Dial when he felt his throat locking up. There was so much he wanted to tell her, and it was infuriating that he couldn’t. He shot off a text that didn’t come close to penetrating the surface. Then, after slipping his phone into his pocket, he pulled it out and added that he loved her, one too-small step in building a bridge between the life he imagined and one he’d grown comfortable with.

When they made it back to the gas station, Kurt drove to the quiet, back corner of the parking lot, cracked the windows, and fell into an easy, dreamless doze. He was thankful he’d taken Thomas’s advice to replace the original front seats with models that reclined. The Mustang was doing remarkably well for so much road time, but it hadn’t been designed for comfort and cross-country trips. He woke with a kink in his neck that brought to mind some of the soldiering nights he’d spent without a bed and made him wish he’d thought to grab a pillow.

He gave Frankie a pat and headed into the truck stop for a ready-made breakfast burrito, a gargantuan black coffee, and a small bag of dog chow. When he got back, he led Frankie to a narrow strip of grass in front of the car and slit the bag open lengthwise for a makeshift bowl. Kurt held the leash and leaned against the hood as he ate. Frankie, who was never one to leave a bite of food uneaten, chomped away but kept eyeing Kurt’s burrito as if it were the better option.

By the time they were on the interstate again, Kurt felt ready to meet the long miles that lay ahead.

* * *

Kelsey and Tess were upstairs in an empty bedroom working with Louie, a young brown-and-white bull terrier who was one of the dogs who needed considerable retraining, when Kelsey spotted Kurt’s grandfather’s truck pulling in as usual. Not quite as usual was the sight of Kurt’s mom in the passenger seat.

“Kurt’s mom and grandfather are here. I wasn’t sure if William would come today.”

Tess stood up from the floor where she’d been kneeling by Louie and met Kelsey at the window. “I haven’t seen his mom in forever. I swear she looked just like that ten years ago,” she said, watching Sara climb down from the truck.

Tess hadn’t asked a single question this morning when she’d arrived; she’d simply dived into work. As much as it had been a relief not to have to answer questions she didn’t have an answer to, Kelsey wondered how much Tess knew. Whenever her mind started to spin like a tumbleweed, she reminded herself of Kurt’s last text. He loved her.

Not only had he said it, but he’d shown it last night by decorating the room and with his tender kisses and attentiveness in bed. Kelsey wished he’d been able to share more of what he’d been dealing with these last couple of weeks. She’d caught on enough to know it was something big but was determined to trust that whatever he was doing would help.

“I wonder if they know he’s gone.” Kelsey readjusted her ponytail.

Tess gave her a sympathetic smile. “I wouldn’t be surprised if they didn’t. But it doesn’t have to be on you to explain. That’s the beauty of cell phones, right?”

Kelsey smiled. “True. Did he, uh, tell you where he’s going?”

“No, he only asked me to back you up till he got back.”

“He didn’t tell me either, obviously.”

“I wouldn’t sweat it, if I were you. I’ve known Kurt forever. He’s a man of actions, not words, but I know he’s got it bad for you. Even William refers to you as ‘the’ girl.” She made air quotes at the last part.

“Thanks, that’s nice to hear. Everything’s still so new, you know? Look, if you’re good, I’ll get Sara and William settled and be back in a few minutes.”

Tess gave her a thumbs-up before dipping into the treat pouch belted around her waist for another bite of turkey and asking Louie to sit at attention.

Kelsey headed downstairs and met Sara and William as they headed in the front door. The house was relatively quiet because the dogs had settled down after their morning meal and exercise time.

William nodded a hello, and Sara pulled Kelsey into an easy hug.

“Kurt stepped out,” William confirmed. It wasn’t a question. He’d noticed the missing red Mustang out front.

Kelsey nodded, gnawing on her lip. “Yeah. I’m not sure when he’ll be back, but make yourself at home…or at rehab, anyway.”

“I’m just dropping him off and borrowing the truck for the day, but I wanted to see those little puppies brightening up your shelter’s Facebook page. William told me how Kurt brought a stillborn back to life,” Sara said.

“It was amazing to watch. I think a full five minutes passed before the puppy started breathing, but you wouldn’t know it to look at her. She’s the biggest of the bunch and super energetic.”

William followed them up for a second look. He’d been here the previous afternoon and had spent a few minutes watching the puppies cuddle, squirm, and nurse, chuckling the whole time. Even someone with an exterior as toughened as his could be melted by fuzzy newborn puppies.

For Sara, who seemed to be the exact opposite of her father in terms of holding back emotion, it took one quick look to be smitten.

“Pepper’s a great mom,” Kelsey said. “And she doesn’t seem bothered with us holding them. We’ve been staying in here where she can see us though. Let me know which one you want to hold.”

Sara chose the pup who seemed to be part coonhound, giggling over his long ears. With his stern look softening, William spent a minute stroking a silky ear before heading back downstairs to work.

“Your father’s really transforming this house,” Kelsey said after he was gone.

“I think he’s finally realized there’s life outside the military. I think he’d have been just as happy being a carpenter, and that might have been for the best for all of us. But I guess you can’t turn back the clock.” She smiled at the pup who was curled against her, belly exposed. He stopped whining quickly and dozed off at her soft touch. “I know we don’t each know other that well, but I know how much Kurt thinks of you. Has he been okay? He’s been ignoring me lately.

Kelsey sucked in her cheek in debate. He’d clearly had some issues with his mom, but things had seemed better between them lately. Her having breast cancer had to have put things in a different perspective. “He’s okay. He’s been a little quiet, but okay.”

Sara sank onto the bed. “I’ve been rethinking showing him that letter.”

Kelsey tightened her ponytail and looked away.

“He didn’t tell you, did he?”

“No. Whatever it is, he didn’t.” From across the hall, Louie barked twice and Kelsey heard Tess’s muffled praise. “But I suspect he’s trying to work through it.”

“I found his father. For so many years, it didn’t seem like a possibility. But then, all of a sudden, it is.”

Kelsey’s jaw dropped, and she forced it closed. “Do you think he’s going to see him?”

Sara blinked. “You mean he’s gone gone?”

Kelsey shrugged helplessly. “He left last night. He hasn’t said where he’s going, only that there’s something he needed to do. Tess is helping with the dogs until he gets back. She doesn’t know anything either, but we both took it that he’d be gone a few days.”

“He didn’t take the letter, didn’t open it even. So that’s not it. Last night he called me late, after ten. I knew something was up; I just didn’t know what. He was asking questions about my mom. It’s really why I came along today. I wanted to see him.” She fell quiet, stroking the puppy, her eyebrows furrowed tightly together. After a minute, she shifted the puppy in her arms and pulled out her phone. “Can you take him?”

Kelsey took the puppy while Sara focused full attention on her phone.

“His phone used to be my mom’s. All our phones were tracking enabled at the store when we bought them. I think I know where he’s going, but this will tell me for sure.” After a bit more searching, Sara closed her eyes. “He’s such a Crawford, I swear.” She stood up and slipped her phone into her pocket and crossed over to the window. “The little turd is already halfway across Nebraska.”

“Nebraska?”

Sara let out a soft sigh. “It’s okay. You don’t need to worry. None of us need to worry. Even if that crazy car breaks down, he’ll be okay. He’s a Crawford, and Crawfords endure. But the thing is, I think this is his way of trying to do more than that.”

Kelsey felt like the pieces weren’t clicking. “Do you know where he’s headed?”

“Yeah, I do. The Oregon coast. It seems my son is seeking a bit of closure.”

Kelsey blinked, remembering the book she’d spotted by his closet and how her fishing float had been moved off the windowsill and set on the counter.

“Why there?”

“The best I can explain is that he was supposed to go a long time ago, and life got in the way.”