When I was ten, Grandma Lulu spanked me for telling the guys that Josie didn’t need a training bra ‘because she didn’t have any titties.’ I’d made the vile comment to embarrass her because she stuck to me everywhere I went. It was a miracle she didn’t insist on using the men’s restroom.

Back then, I was angry over that spanking for a week and for many reasons. Reason one—it was no more than I would say to Josie’s face. When I was a kid, I prayed for a brother. Repeatedly. One who didn’t secretly blackmail me into playing dolls. Reason two—I was too old to be spanked. It was humiliating, which I guess was the point. Reason three—Grandma Lulu let Josie tell the boys I’d been disciplined for it and that each one would get the same if they ever disrespected any female again.

From the experience, I learned that I would be punished for taunting my sister and that Grandma Lulu and Josie stick together. Always.

So. Here I sit at the senior citizen facility facing a most uncomfortable situation. The semi-circle facing me feels like a firing squad. I’m positive Grandma Lulu or Josie intended it this way. They probably planned it together, giggling as they pictured my discomfort.

Grandma Lulu failed to mention anyone else would be attending breakfast. To my left is Josie, then Grandma Lulu, who sits in rapt attention to the person I’d hoped to never see again—Antonio. Harper sits quietly at his left and avoids my gaze.

“Well,” I say. “Aren’t I lucky to have lunch with all of you?” My stiff lips attempt a smile. “Antonio. That’s an ugly black eye you have.”

Antonio winks at me. “Perhaps it makes me look debonair.” He turns and smiles at Grandma Lulu next to him.

“Nah. It doesn’t.” My hands ball into tight fists under the table. Is it wrong to deck a guy who is flirting with a woman four times his age?

Josie makes an Oscar the Grouch face at me. “I think it’s hot.”

Harper isn’t saying a word. If she agrees, I may choke on the biscuit I’ve stuffed into my mouth so I’ll stop speaking.

“Harper,” Grandma Lulu says. “What are you and Antonio doing today?”

I flinch so hard I’ll have whiplash. I’d thought maybe they were together only for the breakfast.

They are actually dating. Harper is going to fall in love with this suave douchebag and I’ve let it happen. I practically forced her to get a life that doesn’t involve me. My chest constricts and it’s difficult to get a reasonable amount of air into my lungs.

Harper looks from Grandma Lulu to Antonio. She won’t even make eye contact with me.

Perspiration pops up underneath the starched collar of my dress shirt. I loosen the knot of my tie. “Excuse me.” I rise and my napkin falls from my lap onto the floor.

Josie picks it up. “Here.”

I don’t even say thank you. I fumble with it for a second before tossing it into my chair. “I can’t stay. Sorry, Grandma Lulu. I’ll call you later.” I nod in the general direction of Harper and Antonio.

Then I’m striding away from the table as if the devil is on my heels.

I search around for a restroom and dart inside. It’s empty and I lean back against the wall, studying the gray wallpaper. It blends with the gray tile floor. There’s not a splash of color in the place. It’s depressing and bleak.

Somebody needs to liven this place up a bit. Put a color on the walls. Stick a fake plant on the washbasin counter. It’s a senior citizen’s facility, for God’s sake. It’s like death in here.

I splash water onto my face and take my tie off. My face is pale, despite the heat I feel flushing my skin. Maybe I’m getting sick. That has to be the reason I feel so unbalanced. Plus, Josie and Grandma Lulu probably got together and decided to teach me a lesson with Antonio. Josie’s unhappy that Harper and I broke up. That’s it.

And Grandma Lulu loves Harper, too. It’s evident from the way she brings her name up every time we speak.

It’s a conspiracy between the females in my life. That’s all it is. I force a smile to my lips. I’ve been fighting a battle against those two since I was a kid. I dry my face with a paper towel and study myself in the mirror.

My smile fades. Of all the things I love about Harper, it’s her smile that I love most, and I don’t think she smiled the entire time I sat across from her.

Antonio isn’t making her happy. She was crying the last time I saw them together.

My pulse thumps louder, so loud I hear the undeniable truth in each beat. She’s happy with me. I’m the one she’s supposed to be with. If I don’t stop allowing Tori to influence how I think about Harper, I’ll end up like this gray bathroom—colorless and dead.

I know things can be different. My parents were different. They loved each other madly until the day they parted this earth. Together. They’re the ones who should color my view of love. Not Tori.

Get yourself together, man.

I leave the restroom a determined man. When I return to the dining hall, there’s an empty chair where Harper was sitting. I glance around and hope she is okay.

Antonio stands before I can take a seat. “The ladies. They tell me there has been a misunderstanding.”

That damned Italian accent. That’s probably what lured Harper in. I may be a guy, but I know women love European accents.

“Oh?” I attempt to sound disinterested. If he’s going to offer that we be friends or something, I’ll have to inform him that I’m now officially the competition.

“I’m not trying to seduce Harper,” he says.

Even Grandma Lulu has the decency to look embarrassed.

Antonio looks bashful. “Seduce is not what I meant. I’m saying that this is not a date. Josie invited me.”

“Josie.” I turn to my sister. “Where’s Harper?”

Josie cocks her head. “She left. I tried to get her to stay, and she was upset. She didn’t know we would be here.”

“Are you happy now?” I shake my head at Josie and then glare at Grandma Lulu.

Grandma Lulu stands and places her hands on her wide hips. “You had this coming. Now go fix it.”

I look at her, feeling like a school kid. She’d still chase me with a flyswatter if she could find one. “You’re right.”

Antonio gets to his feet. “Should I go find—”

“Casanova,” I say, raising one eyebrow. “Don’t even think about leaving this room.”

He throws me a grin. “Catch her. Go.”

I sprint to the parking lot and find she’s already left. Damn she’s fast. There’s only one option for where she’s going. I throw my car into reverse and peel out, heading home. Just in case I’m wrong, I try her number. It goes straight to voicemail.

When I pull into the apartment parking lot and see her car, I feel as though a giant weight has been lifted. I’ve been Atlas, carrying around a burden for weeks.

It takes all my self-control to slow down when I walk up the stairs. I’ve driven so fast that she was probably only minutes ahead.

When I finally unlock the outer door to the building and step inside, my heart stops. She’s crouched over a box in front of my door with her hand covering her mouth.

“What’s wrong?” I race to the door and pull her up.

She’s shaking her head frantically and backs away. “I know how bad this looks.”

I don’t release my hold on her shoulders. “Calm down.” I glance down and look inside the box. It’s a copy paper box filled with electronic parts and a smashed appliance. There’s a disc drive and a motherboard. A small fan with cut wires.

Recognition settles in slowly. It’s a destroyed laptop. On top sets a piece of paper with “XXOO, Harper” written on it.

“No. I did not do this.” Harper takes a step back. “I’m so sorry. But you know I wouldn’t. I couldn’t.”

I’m speechless. I look over my shoulder and down the hall. The heavy outer building door is firmly shut. Only someone with a key can enter.

“I know you wouldn’t.” I stare down into the box. I’d been trying to figure out the mystery of my missing laptop. Running over the events of Friday again and again, hoping to come up with something. I’d assumed that I’d left my apartment unlocked or that the culprit had found my key.

But I’d honestly forgotten about the new lock on the building’s outer door. Until now.

She turns away from me. “I have no idea what’s going on. I didn’t steal it. And you say you believe me, but I have this awful feeling that deep down, you don’t. I’m going to find a new place to live. You won’t have to worry about running into me.”

“I don’t give a shit about this,” I say, kicking the box. I kick it again for good measure. “And you aren’t going to move.”

She closes her eyes. “I saw your face when you walked into the dining hall this morning. You can’t stand to be around me. And now when you see me here, you’re going to picture this thing. This smashed up laptop you’ll always associate with me. I have no way to prove I didn’t do it.” She steps away from me until her back hits her apartment door.

“Babe.” I lower my voice and walk across the hall to be closer. “You didn’t. I just know. Today at the senior facility? I wanted to jump over the table and beat Antonio’s pretty face. I came back from the restroom to find you gone. I wanted to tell you that there was going to be trouble.”

“What kind of trouble?”

“Antonio might have all the moves, but I have all the right words.”

She stares at me. “There’s nothing between me and Antonio,” she whispers.

I grab her hand and press it to my chest over my heart. “Feel that? It’s full of all these sappy words I haven’t said. Emotions I couldn’t handle. But I think it took realizing I could lose you. I’m not going to let fear win. I can’t.”

Harper’s lips tremble and she looks away. “I want to believe in you. I do. But it’s too big of a risk.”

“Look at me, Harper. I’m crazy about you. I’m a sure bet. “

She gives me a half-hearted smile. “No. You’re a high-stakes gamble. I did want to trust you before. Now, it’s just too late.”

She turns, enters her apartment, and leaves me standing in the hallway—my world turned gray.

* * *

I stretch my arms out above my head. It’s still early, but the sounds of the bakery already drift up through the vents. Today, I begin my new life as a romantic. A hopeful. A believer in forever.

I pull on my clothes and walk downstairs. James is working the counter and Erik is in the back this morning. I examine my choices and my mouth waters.

“Morning. What’ll you have?” James stands poised with a waxed paper ready.

“Cinnamon rolls. Four, please.”

“Coming right up.” He grabs the pastry and a white box. “Did Harper’s friend find her?”

“I don’t know,” I say, getting my wallet out.

“I forget about the new lock. The girl came in saying she was supposed to meet Harper but couldn’t get in. Sorry about that.”

“No problem.” I smile at him. “I’ll let Harper know.”

“Well, good. She said Harper would be really upset if she didn’t get in.” James waves off the bill I attempt to hand him.

I frown. Harper doesn’t get mad at anyone. A tingle travels down my spine. “When was this?”

“Yesterday. The girl asked if she could borrow the key to get in for a few minutes.”

“Did she have dark hair? Tall? Prissy?”

“Yeah,” he says with a chuckle. “Prissy fits. She came back yesterday afternoon and said she’d forgotten to bring me the key back.”

“Uh huh. We’re going to have to get the lock changed.”

“Problem?”

“Yeah. I’ll pay for a locksmith. Are you cool with that? I’ll get it done today and bring you new keys. Also if that girl comes back, call me. No one should be let in.”

“Got it. Sorry if it was a mistake.” James looks to the next person in line.

I eat one roll on the way upstairs. There are some things I need to remedy in my life and Tori is first on my list. I grab a red marker from my apartment and write on the white bakery bag—‘Sweets for the sweet.’

After showering, I tape the bag to Harper’s door. Her words last night cut into my heart. I had expected a second chance. What if she never gives it to me?

I push the negative thoughts away. I have changes to make in my life, beginning now.

It takes forty-five minutes to drive to Tori’s salon. Her doors aren’t open yet, so I wait in a parking space. She’s always late. It shouldn’t surprise me when the front doors don’t open on time.

When I walk inside, Tori sits in a styling chair. She flips through a magazine and doesn’t notice me.

A receptionist greets me. “Good morning. What can we do to help you?”

“Tori,” I say, pointing at her.

Her head pops up. “Leo. What a nice surprise.” She looks around. Two stylists prep their stations. “We can talk privately in the back.”

“No. That’s all right. We can talk here.”

She studies herself in the mirror and fidgets with her ring, spinning it around on her finger. It’s her wedding set. She must wear it sometimes and certainly didn’t expect me to show up today.

“I know you came by the apartment yesterday.” I give her a hard look, my eyes narrowed.

“You’re mistaken,” Tori says.

The girl at the next station glances over curiously. I nod at her and return my attention to Tori.

“If you ever step foot in the building again, I’ll do two things. I’ll call the police, since you will be breaking and entering.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” She laughs, her lips tight in a fake smile.

“I’ll also print a column about you and all your lies, every tiny deceitful thing you’ve done, on Mr. Expose. Have you heard of it? I’m Mr. Expose.” I know she has heard of it. Even Good Morning America talked about the popularity of my blog, calling it the new generation of reality television.

I’m no longer ashamed of what I’ve been doing with my writing. It’s print journalism that helps uncover the truth.

Her mouth drops and the other stylists stop what they’re doing.

“So think about it,” I say. “You’ll be the talk of Nashville. Everyone will know what a bitch you are.”

“You wouldn’t.” She takes a couple of steps forward.

“I would.” I turn to the other stylists. “Have a nice day, ladies.”

I turn my back on her and leave, betting she won’t stab me in the back with styling sheers since we have witnesses.