I’M COMPLETELY ZONED IN ON writing the last couple hundred words needed to finish my book when I hear a tap on the wall, followed by my brother’s laughter.
“You all good in here, little sis?” I look over just as he’s stepping into my room, covered in sweat from his afternoon run. “I’ve been awake for a few hours now and haven’t seen you leave this room once. Have you even moved from that spot all afternoon?”
I smile up at him. “Nope!”
“Nope as in all isn’t good or nope to not moving?”
“To not moving. I’m so close to finishing this book that I don’t want to move until I type those two fabulous words: the end.”
“Oh yeah . . .” his words trail off as he takes a drink from his bottle of water. “How close are you? Close enough that you’ll be finished today?”
I nod.
“Good. Then you won’t mind taking a short break to hang with me on the beach until I leave for Vortex.” He motions for me to get up as if I have no choice. “Come on, before I tell Mom and Dad you won’t hang out with me.”
He gives me the same pathetic look I used to give him when we were kids before I tattled on him for not playing with me.
“Really, Xan?” I close my laptop and laugh. “You probably would tell on me just to get back at me for all those times I ruined your fun.”
He motions again for me to stand up. “Hell yes, I would. And I don’t think you want our parents flying out here to make sure you hang with your big brother, so get out of that damn chair before I call them.” He can barely keep a straight face, but tries anyway.
“You’re still a pain, you know that?”
He smiles over his bottle, before taking a quick drink while backing up. “I’m going to change really quick. Meet me out back.” He slaps the door and rushes off to his room.
It feels like it’s been forever since I’ve been able to spend some alone time with Alexander, so of course I don’t mind taking a break for him, but I couldn’t resist giving my brother a hard time just to see what kind of mood he’s in first.
He appears to be in a good mood, which most likely means that he still has no clue that Micah and I have been spending every night in each other’s beds.
We’ve been enjoying our time in the sun for over an hour now and surprisingly he hasn’t had to rush off to work yet for anything and I’m thankful, but at the same time I feel as if I’m walking on eggshells around him, waiting for him to ask me about Micah.
It’s been just over a week since Micah put on his last performance at Vortex and Alexander had his little talk with me about staying away from him.
He hasn’t brought him up since and I can’t figure out why. It’s not like he doesn’t know that I’ve been spending a lot of my time helping Micah at Express. He just doesn’t know about all the extra activities.
“You don’t suck at Frisbee as much as you did when we were kids,” he teases, while reaching out to catch it. “You can at least get it to go further than your feet.”
“Ha. Aren’t we funny.” I flip him off and then take off running for the blue plastic when he throws it. I catch it and attempt to throw it back, but it barely makes it ten inches in front of me. “Don’t even think about laughing, Xan.”
“I stand corrected. You’re not better.”
I roll my eyes and run over to our towels to get a drink of water.
He follows, reaching for his too.
“So how do you like it here so far? It’s beautiful, right?” He tilts back his bottle, almost emptying it, before he continues. “I knew the moment I got here that there was no way in hell I was returning to Wisconsin. I miss you and our parents, don’t get me wrong, but I’m meant to be here, owning a bar on the beach. I’ve never been happier.”
I smile and grab the Frisbee from him. “I don’t blame you for not wanting to move back, Xan. I never have . . .” My words trail off as I make my way back over to my throwing spot. “It’s gorgeous here. And not to mention quiet and peaceful. I love Whitney, don’t get me wrong, but she’s the loudest person I’ve ever met. She wants to party practically every night and so do our friends. And when it’s not them dragging me away from my writing, it’s our parents needing me for something. I just need some time alone to think sometimes. The beach, the bar, and even the back patio . . .” I point toward the house, “are perfect places for me to escape for a while.”
“You don’t need that whole party scene every night either. You’ve got something great started with your books and I’m proud of you. As long as you can keep your head in them and not get distracted. Speaking of distractions . . .” He catches the Frisbee as I toss it to him. “Have you talked to Mom and Dad lately? They’ve called me a few times, but I haven’t had much free time to sit down and talk to them.”
“I’ve talked to Mom five times this week,” I grunt. “She’s still upset that I didn’t call much when I first got here and she won’t stop bringing it up.”
He laughs and tosses the Frisbee up, catching it as it comes down. “You know how Mom is. She doesn’t want to lose her baby girl yet. She’s spent most of our lives smothering us and she’s afraid of losing that soon with you too.”
When he doesn’t throw the Frisbee back I walk toward the water, getting my calves wet. Alexander follows, doing the same. Well, more like his ankles since he’s so tall. “Can I tell you the truth, Xan.”
He nods and looks down at me. “I love it here so much that I’m not sure I can keep the promise I made to our parents about waiting three more years. I want to move here.”
I can’t really read his facial expression as he stands there in silence and it’s making me nervous.
Please don’t mention Micah. Please . . .
“If you can promise me that it has everything to do with loving the beach and having some peace and quiet to work and not because of Micah, then I’ll talk to our parents for you and explain why being here is good for your writing.”
I swallow nervously and look down at the water, because I’m not sure if I can look my brother in the face and lie to him.
This lie has already been going on for three weeks too long and I’m not sure I can do it anymore.
I’ve completely fallen for Micah and keeping us a secret is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.
There’s been so many times that I’ve wanted to run into Micah’s arms and kiss him when we’re at Vortex to show everyone that we’re together, but I have to stop myself every time.
It’s getting harder, because it’s obvious that Micah wants to spend his time with me just as much as I want to spend it with him.
If for some reason I don’t make it down to his bed by the time he’s ready to fall asleep he comes crawling into mine, as if he can’t sleep without me in his arms.
And truthfully, I’ve been finding it hard to sleep away from him also. But some nights, by the time my brother has gotten home I’m so exhausted from writing that I end up crashing before I can go down to Micah’s room.
So the fact that he comes to me says a lot.
Micah isn’t the same one-night-stand-guy I met over three weeks ago . . . The same one I witnessed screwing some random girl against the sliding glass door downstairs and then kicked to the curb.
He hasn’t so much as even looked in another girl’s direction, and I’m hoping that my brother has noticed it too. Anyone can change if they want to.
Because I’m not sure how much longer I can go without telling my brother the truth, and even though he doesn’t speak of it, I know it’s eating Micah up inside too.
“Xan, I–”
“Shit. One sec,” he says while reaching into his back pocket for his phone when it goes off. “I’ll be right back.”
I can’t believe I’m about to tell him the truth, but maybe now is the best time to do it. Maybe I can talk him down from being mad at Micah with it just being the two of us if I just explain how much we care about each other.
All these thoughts keep running through my mind of the different ways I can start this conversation, but every single one makes my stomach hurt.
It takes my brother a few minutes to come back over, but when he does I can tell our day of spending time together has ended.
“I’m sorry, but I have to get to the bar. Parker called and said that Micah just fired Ryan for serving drinks to some underage kids and he’s in his office looking to fill his spot. They’re shorthanded now.” He points at me as he begins walking backward toward the house. “But we’ll continue this conversation later if you’re serious about wanting to stay here. Will you be awake when I get home?”
“I’m going to help Micah and Sebastian tonight at Express, so I’m sure I can stay awake for a couple hours once we call it a night.”
His jaw flexes at the mention of me being with Micah again, but I refuse to lie to him about hanging out with him. “We’ll talk later.”
I nod and watch as he rushes up to the house to change.
Well . . . so much for getting it all out in the open.
I walk over and grab the Frisbee and the two towels we brought with us and begin walking back the house.
I won’t be seeing Micah for another few hours and I want to finish this last chapter so I’m able to go back to the very beginning and read it over, before sending it to my editor.
But the moment I pull out my laptop all I can think about is Micah and Alexander and how soon they might not be speaking to each other because of me.
The thought of the two of them hating each other has my chest aching and my stomach twisted into knots. Especially since I’m the one to blame.
I hate it. I hate it so much.
But I think I need to tell Micah when I see him tonight that I’m going to tell my brother the first chance that I get.
That way Micah can be prepared to deal with my brother’s wrath. I’ve seen it before and it’s far from pretty.
I just hope I can keep the guys from killing each other once the truth comes out.
I don’t think I can handle watching two of the most important men in my life hurt each other.
It would crush me.
But the hiding and going behind my brother’s back ends tonight.
Because there’s no way I can hide my feelings for Micah any longer. Not when I’m quickly falling in love with him . . .