TODAY WAS A ROUGH DAY AT Vortex, because all I could think about was getting out of there so I could spend time with Tegan. It had me anxious and uptight all day, practically chewing everyone’s ass off that stepped foot into my office.
It didn’t help that thirty minutes before I was scheduled to walk out the door two of Sebastian’s asshole friends showed up with fake IDs, thinking I wouldn’t notice them in the crowd.
They were sadly mistaken. Thanks to Sebastian pulling this shit on me for the past two years, I keep a close eye on everyone who steps foot into this place.
The little shits were barely able to take their first sip before I snatched them both by the back of their necks and threw them out on their asses.
I was heated, so they’re lucky I didn’t do more damage. The only thing that calmed me down about the situation was that Sebastian wasn’t with them. He seems to be doing better lately and I hope he keeps it up.
I ended up firing Ryan’s incompetent ass on the spot and had to spend the next hour going through applications to find him a replacement.
I told Parker that I could handle the situation, but like an idiot he called Alexander anyway and took what little free time he had to spend with his sister away. It pissed me the hell off and apparently it pissed him off too, because he was not happy when he arrived.
It felt as if he was taking it out on me with the way he kept giving me dirty looks every time he stepped into my office for updates on Ryan’s replacement. The way he was sizing me up confirmed he had something on his mind, almost like he thought I was trying to keep him away from Tegan myself.
I may be worried about him finding out about us before we’re ready to tell him, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want Tegan to be able to spend time with him while she’s here.
Even if that means him finding out and coming at me to kick my ass. I’m not going to lie. I deserve an ass beating for what I’ve done, and when the time comes I’ll take it.
A lot has changed over the last week between Tegan and I, ever since I showed up at her room in the middle of the night.
I’m not the same guy I was weeks ago, and that moment proved it to not only her but myself too.
I’ll do what I can to prove it to Alexander too.
“You going to tell me how you got the money for those new shoes?” My attention veers to Sebastian’s new pair of Nike shoes the moment I step behind the bar, where he’s helping stock the liquor. They’re not the same pair I paid for.
He shrugs as if it’s no big deal. “I got a job washing dishes at the diner around the corner.”
“Don’t lie to me, Sebastian.” I drop the stack of applications I’ve been searching through and get face-to-face with him. I can always tell when the kid is lying, but I’m a little off my game right now thanks to my head being all over the place. “You better not be selling drugs again or I’ll kick your scrawny ass.”
He laughs, reaching into the box for another bottle to stock. “Chuck got me the job last week. I swear. He loaned me a hundo until I get my first paycheck. Trust me, big guy.”
“I try my damned hardest to, but until you prove to me that I can trust you I won’t be able to. Trust isn’t given, it’s earned. Got it?”
He slaps my shoulder and lifts a brow. “Got it. Now calm it before you bust out of that shirt like the Hulk. You can even stop by and check on me. I know you’re dying to.”
I’m the last person who should be schooling someone on trust right now, and looking over at Tegan as she sits there writing is a harsh reminder of that.
How the hell am I supposed to expect a kid to be truthful with me when I can’t even be truthful with my best friend?
“I’ll be doing that this week.” I grip his shoulder and smile. “I’m proud of you, kid.”
“Hell, I am too sort of. It being my first legit job and all. Which reminds me. I need a favor.”
“What? A ride? Sure.”
He shakes his head. “No. A place to stay so my asshole parents can’t steal my money for drugs and booze. I want to be better than them and I know you’ll help me get there.”
“Yeah . . .” I look him in the eyes. “You already are. We’ll discuss you staying with me later, now that you’re almost eighteen.”
“Hell yeah,” he says excitedly, before turning his attention to Tegan. “How’s that last chapter coming along over there? Did you add me to the story yet so the ladies can meet me?”
Tegan laughs and looks up just in time to catch me slap Sebastian upside the head. “Leave her be so she can concentrate.”
“Damn, big guy. Remember what I said. Calm it.” He throws his arms up. “Can’t blame a guy for trying to make an appearance in a book. My name needs to get out there.”
Tegan looks up from her computer and laughs. “Sorry, Sebastian. Maybe my next book. This one is practically done,” she says with a proud smile. “All that’s left to do is go over it from the beginning before I send it to the editor and it’s ready to go.”
She stands up and starts walking toward us.
“Are you serious?” I set the stack of applications back down before I come at her and pick her up, grabbing her legs to wrap them around my waist. “I’m fucking proud of you, baby. So, when do I get to read about me?”
I can’t help but to tease her still, even though she’s already mine. It’s just who I am with her.
“Who says I’ve been writing about you?” she asks against my lips. “You’ve had that little idea in your head since the day you were snooping over my shoulder. A little cocky, are we?”
A deep laugh rumbles in my chest as I move my hands down to grip her ass. “I think we both know that I’m much more than a little cocky.”
“Oh, come on you two!” Sebastian complains from beside us. “Do you ever give it a break? I’ve got virgin eyes over here.”
“No,” I growl. “Close your virgin eyes and ears if you don’t like it. You’re gonna have to get used to it being like this twenty-four-seven when you’re around me and my girl. Especially if you’re staying at my place.”
I move my hands up to wrap into the back of Tegan’s hair, before brushing my lips over hers, as if Sebastian isn’t watching us.
I could really care less.
He’s known about us for almost a week now and I’ll never forget the look on his face when I called Tegan my girlfriend in front of him. The kid was speechless, and I’ve never heard Sebastian shut his mouth for longer than two seconds before in the entire time that I’ve known him.
It took him at least two minutes before he burst into laughter and then asked me to repeat myself as if he was convinced he was hearing me wrong.
Just like everyone else, he knows my reputation of being a one-night-stand-guy. He’s never seen me with the same girl twice.
“So, I’m still your girl?” she teases, tugging on my bun. “Because Parker—”
I slam my lips to hers, cutting her off before she can get another word out. I’m sure she can tell from the roughness of my kiss and the deep growl coming from inside my chest that I’m showing her just who she belongs to.
I can’t deny that I’m all alpha male when it comes to Tegan and I’ll take down anyone who tries to take her away from me.
I get so wrapped up in our kiss I almost forget that we’re not the only two in the room, until Sebastian clears his throat.
“Okay, you two have fun. I’ve gotta run.”
I look over as he’s typing something out on his phone and rushing to get out of here. “Where the hell are you going in such a hurry? I thought you wanted to help out and make some extra cash?”
“Chuck is outside for me. I’ll help tomorrow. Cool?”
He’s lucky I’m desperate to spend some alone time with my girl or else I’d give him a harder time about leaving his job unfinished. “Tomorrow. I call and you be ready. No excuses, Seb. We’ve got a lot of shit to discuss. Rules and all that.”
He smiles. “Okay, cool.” He nods and blows a kiss at Tegan. “Later, babe.”
She laughs as I lift her up and set her on the bar. “Later, kid. Stay out of trouble.”
The moment we’re alone she wraps her legs around my waist and squeezes. “Kiss me again and call me your girl.”
I tangle my hands into the back of her hair and lean in to brush my lips over hers. I wait until her eyes meet mine before I speak the truth. “You’re my girl for as long as you’ll have me.”
She wraps her arms around my neck and nips at my bottom lip teasingly. “Well, we’ve already had sex three times. I think one more time and I’ll be good.”
I tug at her hair and grind my hips between her legs, showing her how hard I am for her. “Oh yeah? I knew you were only using me for my body so you could write that book of yours. But are you sure once more will be enough?” I pull her bottom lip into my mouth and suck it, before I release it and run my tongue along it. “Because if that’s the case then I’ll be sure to make it the best sex of your life, so that I can change your mind. I don’t want anyone one else having you. You’re mine.”
“Mmmm . . .” She moans against my mouth and tightens her hold on my waist. “You’ve already given me that three times, Micah. Unless you know some new tricks then—”
I crush my mouth to hers, unable to hold back any longer. This woman has no idea what her mouth does to me. And if she’s going to give me a damn challenge she better be ready for me to accept it and win.
With a deep growl I release her hair, before I yank my shirt over my head and toss it aside, moving right back in to kiss her.
I own her lips with my kiss, because I want to possess every part of her, including her damn heart.
Her breath is heavy against my lips, showing me just how badly she wants me to take her right now, but when I go to reach for her jeans she places her hand on mine to stop it.
“What’s wrong?”
“You need to promise me something first.” She looks worried as her eyes land on mine again.
“I already told you that I’m yours, Tegan. I’m not going to leave you. I promise.” I grab her face and kiss her nose. “I’ll promise you anything you want. Just say it.”
“I believe you, Micah. It’s not that. My brother—”
“We’re telling him tonight,” I say quickly. “I want the same as you and I can’t lie to him anymore. But for now . . .”
I capture her mouth with mine, kissing her hard and deep. She has to think that I’m desperate right now with the way I’m moving my body against hers as if I’m going to lose it if I don’t get inside of her soon.
But not showing her how much I need her is torture for me. It’s been almost a week since we last had sex, because I wanted to show her that sex isn’t all it’s about for me. Making love to her was the first step in showing that and taking time away from sex was the second.
I’m hers. All fucking hers, and it’s time I make her feel that again.
I move my hand down again to undo Tegan’s jeans. I barely get the button undone when out of nowhere, Alexander’s angry voice comes from beside me.
“You motherfucker.” He grips my shoulder and pulls me back, and before I’m able to react Alexander’s fist slams into my jaw repeatedly, not stopping until Tegan screams at him to stop.
I steel my jaw and regain composure as he reaches for Tegan’s arm and starts walking away.
“Don’t touch me, Xan!” she yells in her brother’s face, while shaking his hold on her. How dare you hit him like that without even giving us a chance to explain.”
Guilt takes over as Alexander takes a step back and reaches for the nearest bottle of liquor, as if he needs it like air, his face still shock-ridden.
“Xan, we were planning on telling you—”
“I don’t want to hear your excuses, Tegan. You knew how I felt about you getting involved with Micah, and yet you did it anyway. I thought you had a little more respect for me than that after everything. Aside from that you lied to my fucking face over and over. I need one goddamn minute!”
I stand here, my gaze focused on Alexander as he turns away and tilts the bottle back, taking a long drink.
I brace myself for more. I can only imagine what we looked like to him. I’m sure it’s all he can do right now not to kill me after walking in on me shirtless, between his baby sister’s legs.
“We need to talk,” I say, grabbing for my shirt to put it back on. “We’ve been wanting to tell you for a while—”
“For a while? What about all those fucking conversations and threats, Micah?” He takes another drink, before slamming it down onto the bar so hard the bottle breaks, liquor spilling.
When he turns around, his hard eyes land on me. From the anger present in his stare and shaky arms, I can tell he’s fighting with everything he has not to punch me again. “We’ve been friends for almost five years. Does that mean nothing to you? I trusted you and made you my manager. I’ve been a good fucking friend to you, and I’ve never asked for anything except that you work beside me at my bar and keep an eye on things when I’m not around. You’ve been my only real friend since I moved here. You were like a brother to me. Until now I would’ve trusted you with my fucking life. In all that time I asked you not to do one thing. The one thing that would fuck me up and break my trust. You went behind my back and did it anyway. You went after my only sister. I can’t even stand the sight of you right now.” His nostrils flare as he eyes me over. “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t kill you.”
“Xan.” Tegan steps in between us, looking worried that Alexander will lose it and blow up on me again. “He didn’t do this alone. It’s my fault just as much as it is his. Don’t you dare put all the blame on him. I’m not a kid anymore. I can make my own damn decisions without your consent.”
“Move, Tegan. I’m not speaking to you right now,” he growls, putting his arm out to get her at a safe distance from us. “I wanna know why my best friend stabbed me in the fucking back.” He rolls his neck, while cracking his knuckles. “I’m waiting, asshole.”
My jaw tenses as I stand in place and run my hands over my face. I’ve been prepared for this moment for a while now and I’m ready to take another blow if it helps keep his anger aimed at me and not her. “I don’t have a good fucking reason. I went after her because I was a selfish son of a bitch who couldn’t stay away, even if it meant fucking things up with my best friend. I did this. I went after her, so don’t be mad at her. Hate me, but not her.”
“You’re right,” he says, walking toward me. “You are a selfish son of bitch, and always have been.”
I stand tall, knowing what’s coming next. I take it like a man as my best friend’s fist connects with my already sore jaw.
It stings like hell, but I make no attempt to move out of his way or come at him.
A real man takes responsibility for his actions.
“What the hell, Xan?” Tegan rushes over and pushes her brother’s chest, but he barely even moves. “Hit him one more time and I won’t speak to you ever again. Do you hear me?”
His jaw flexes as he runs his hands over his face, before grabbing the ledge of the bar. “How long have you been trying to sleep with my sister? Don’t fucking lie to me.”
“A few weeks.”
“Three fucking weeks.” He punches the top of the bar a few times, before speaking again. “Since she got here. That’s messed up and you know it.”
“Xan, that’s enough! I’ve seen how you get. Now stop before it’s too late and you say or do something that you can’t take back. I care about Micah and I want to be with him. It’s not your choice and there isn’t a damn thing you can do about it, so stop right fucking now.”
I try to focus on Tegan’s words to calm myself down, but Alexander breaks my concentration by shoving me into the bar and getting in my face. “I practically raised her. I’ve witnessed her broken-hearted more times than I wish I had. The last thing she needs is to have it broken again by some man-whore who doesn’t even know the meaning of commitment. It’s only a matter of time until you’re bored and ready to move on.”
I push him off of me and try to reason with him. “Do you think I’d risk our friendship if it wasn’t serious? I fucking care about her and I’d prove it to you if you’d give me a fucking chance. Now back off.”
“That’s bullshit and you know it.” He shoves me again and I get up just to be shoved for a third time.
“Dammit, Alexander, stop! You’re fucking pushing it now,” I bite out, fighting with everything in me to keep my cool.
I don’t want to fight my best friend when I know I deserve the beating, but I can only take so much before I snap.
“You’re done,” he says, rubbing his hands over his face to calm down. “We’re done. I don’t want you around my sister. I want your shit out of my house and bar by tomorrow.” He turns his attention to Tegan, who looks torn over what to do. “There’s no changing my mind, Tegan, so don’t even try. If you stay here with him then I want you out too, because you’re opening yourself up to get hurt and used by the biggest player I’ve ever known. Don’t come crying to me when it happens. I will not pick up the pieces this time. I warned you. More than once at that.”
“Xan, he’s not going to hurt me. Do you hear yourself?” She walks over and gets in his face. I’ve never seen her this angry before, and I don’t like it one fucking bit. “We were planning on telling you about us tonight. I tried at the beach before you ran off. You weren’t supposed to find out this way. Don’t give me ultimatums. That’s not fair.”
He shakes his head and looks between the two of us. “My best fucking friend and my sister, both lying to me behind my back for weeks like it’s a game. For fucking weeks! Do you know how that feels? Do you know how much that hurts? It fucking kills me. This is exactly what I wanted to avoid. There is no good ending here.” He turns his attention back to me. “All I wanted was to protect you both, but if I have to choose between the two, protecting Tegan is my number one priority. If I have to cut you out of my life in order to do that then I will. You may think you care about her now, but what about a month from now? What about in a year? I will never trust you not to hurt her, because at some point it’s inevitable. That’s how you’re wired.”
“Then maybe you don’t know me as much as you think you do.” I take a step forward, looking him in the eyes. “If you did then you’d know that when I care about someone I put my all into them. And that’s what I plan on doing with Tegan if you would just give me a fucking chance to do that.”
“Maybe you can do that with the kid. I’ve seen you do it, but it’s different with him. He’s not someone you’re trying to sleep with. As soon as some easy chick comes around, wanting your dick, you’ll realize like you always have that meaningless sex is your thing and then where does that leave my sister? Broken and crushed.” He turns back to Tegan, who’s standing there, looking hurt and confused “Let’s go.”
“Dammit, Alexander,” I growl. “Don’t make her choose. It’s not fair to her. I tried to talk to you like a fucking man before. To find out your reasons for distrusting me with her. Give me a fucking chance to show you how much she means to me before making her walk away. You know damn well that’s what she’ll do because she’ll always choose you first and that’s how it should be. You’re her family.”
“I can’t, Micah. You’re not like the assholes that broke her heart in the past that she was able to get over in a few weeks. They were nothing. There’s something about you that leaves girls hanging on after being with you. I’ve seen it day in and day out. It’s been three weeks. I’m not taking the chance of seeing what happens if it goes on any longer.”
“Tegan is different,” I say, pissed off more now than when he punched me. “I don’t give a shit about my past and the women I’ve been with. None of them have been her. I’m not the same asshole I was before she came along, but you’re too wrapped up in being pissed off at me to see that. I haven’t touched or even looked at another woman since I’ve slept with your sister.”
“You fucked my sister?” The mention of me sleeping with Tegan has his fist flying into my jaw before I can dodge it. I pop my jaw. Did he really fucking think she hadn’t given it up to me yet and that I’ve been chasing her this whole time? We’re grown. “I’m really going to kill you now, asshole.”
“That’s it!” We both look at Tegan as she rushes over to her brother and pushes him back a few steps. “I’m going to be with Micah and you can’t stop it from happening. All I hear about are your whoring ways too. The booty call after our lunch date and the office sessions. You’ve told me and I’ve heard. People talk. Why do you think you’re better than him? And who are you to force me to choose between the man I care about and my family? You’re my brother, Xan. My damn brother. You may be pissed right now, but you’ll get past that once you give us a chance. That’s all I’m asking for.”
“I can’t do that, Tegan, so don’t fucking ask me to. We’re not talking about me right now. If you don’t want to listen to me and stay away from Micah then I need to walk away right now before I kill him, because I can’t look at either of you without feeling betrayal in my chest.”
“I’ve fallen for her, Alexander. It was never supposed to happen, but it did. Don’t fucking walk away from her as if you’re going to cut her out of your life because we want to be together. That’s bullshit and you know it.”
“Do us both a favor and stay away from her, Micah. You know it’s best for her. Think with your heart and not your dick for once.”
“That’s what I’m doing for the first fucking time ever! Jesus, that’s what you’re not understanding.” I punch the bar, before gripping it, wishing I could rip the fucker apart.
“Yeah, well it would take something huge to make me believe that, like a miracle, and I doubt that will happen.” When I look up he’s talking in Tegan’s face. “I’m out of here. You can stay with that asshole for the rest of the summer if you want, but when he rips your world apart don’t come running to your big brother to mend your broken heart. It won’t be fucking happening.”
Tegan stands there shaking as her brother walks away, leaving her like she’s about to fall apart.
I want to go to her. I want to wrap my fucking arms around her and tell her that I’ll protect her.
But it’s my fault this is happening. I should have tried hard to stay away.
The thought of their relationship being ruined because of me has me saying the last thing I wanted to be saying tonight, but I did this, and if anyone is going to suffer it needs to be me. Not them.
“You need to go with Alexander.” I grip the bar tighter, until my fingers feel like they could break. “Repair things with your brother. I’m not worth it, Tegan.”
“Micah.” She reaches for my arm. “What the hell are you saying? I don’t want to leave you. Did you not hear me tell my brother that I want—”
“I’m saying that you need to leave, Tegan,” I growl, shaking her grip on my arm. “I will not stand here and let him cut you out of his life over an asshole like me. Go.”
My chest aches more with each demand that leaves my mouth. The words are physically crushing me.
“Just go before he leaves, dammit.”
“Fine.” She pushes my arm and then my chest when I turn to face her. “You want me gone, then I’m gone. I guess you can’t handle it when things get tough. Fuck you, Micah! Fuck you for making me fall for you.”
“Tegan . . .”
“No. You don’t need to explain shit to me. I’m gone.” She rushes over to the table to grab her laptop. “Maybe I should’ve listened to my brother. You’re fighting real hard for us. Real hard.”
I stand here, frozen in place, watching as she walks out the door.
Everything inside of me aches at the idea of losing the two people I care about the most. I really fucked up this time.
Grinding my jaw, I swing my hand across the bar, knocking over a couple of bottles of liquor along with everything sitting atop. Limes, straws, and cocktail napkins go flying.
The sound of the bottles breaking doesn’t faze me one bit, because the only fucking girl I’ve ever loved just walked out the door and I have no idea if I’ll get another chance with her.
I may not be fighting for us, but I’m fighting for her. I wouldn’t be a man if I allowed her and Alexander’s relationship to be ruined because of me. It’ll only end in regret. I won’t do it.
All I can do right now is give them time to work things out and maybe, just fucking maybe, she’ll come back to me and Alexander will give us a chance.
But he said so himself; it’s going to take something huge for him to ever believe that I won’t hurt Tegan.
I don’t know how the hell to do that other than walk away from her right now and let them heal.
This fucking kills me.
Not only have I just lost the friendship of the only person who’s been there for me, but I’ve possibly just lost the only girl I’ve ever fucking wanted for good . . .