Evy hopped into the house, glad that neither Hilary nor anyone else was around. She’d left the hospital on her own decision. Three days of lying around was more than enough. She couldn’t stand it anymore, especially not when Tank didn’t drop by.
A nurse had told her someone had come to visit her when she’d been asleep, but because it had been the day after her mother had left, she hadn’t exactly bothered to pretend she was doing okay, and had gotten painkillers against the headache. Secretly she’d hoped they’d help against the heartache, too, but that hadn’t worked.
Evangeline was still hurting over not having spoken to him again, and over the faceless woman he’d most likely done, too, but she missed him. Missed him so much.
Tessa had dropped by, her face disapproving, and Evy had told her unless she was ready to not mention Tank, she could leave right away again. Tess was her best friend, was supposed to be on her side, but instead the blonde had stood to leave and watched her before shaking her head, telling her to call her when she was ready to truly listen.
She wasn’t. She didn’t want to hear explanation and excuses. She wanted to pretend it never happened.
Dropping down onto the couch, she stared up at the ceiling, wondering if she should call him up, ask him over. Maybe they could have sex. Granted, she had a cast leg, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t go down on each other. And sex made everything better.
“A roll in the sheets should be fine, right?” she said out loud, knowing no one was there to tell her differently.
“Depends on whom you want to sleep with.”
Evy nearly toppled off the sofa, her heart in her throat although she recognized the voice.
“Aimie?” She stared at the Australian friend she’d expected to be half a world away, thinking that now their original girls’ club was almost completely in the US again. “What the hell are you doing here and when did you arrive? Why didn’t Tessa tell me?”
She wished she could get up and hug her friend, but wasn’t fast enough. However, Aimie crossed the space over to her and gave her a one-sided squeeze.
It was an awkward one, always probably would be between them because Aimie and she weren’t exactly on the best of terms. Aimie most likely still held a grudge because Evy had tried to keep Tessa and Jazz apart way back when.
“Tessa doesn’t know yet. Hils was literally on the way out when I came in just an hour ago,” she reported.
“How long are you staying? And so shortly after Christmas!”
Aimie nodded, her eyes clouding with sadness and despair. Jesus, Evy knew those feelings way too well.
“I’ll be staying six months. I couldn’t… things were…” Aimie shook her head, clearly trying for another time to find the right way to start. “I couldn’t be home another second. I was lonely, miserable, slipping into a darkness no one needs, and I knew you all were going to be here. I scraped together whatever money I had, made sure my rent would be paid for the time I’m away and then bought the tickets. I have practically nothing left now, but at least whenever I return I have an apartment. I needed this so bad. And… I cannot wait to see Tessa and hug her.”
Evy wasn’t the least bit surprised, jealousy crawling through her slowly. Aimie and Tessa had always been easy, it had always worked because Aimie understood. Had already back then.
Only now Evy, too, understood, and wished she could make things right with her bestie. “She’s pissed at me.”
“Because of Tank. I know. I heard the short version. I was surprised to realize the two of you were so close. Tank and you, that is.”
So was Evy. “I hated him. I mean, not totally because he was nice to me when I was here, but I still did for talking to everyone else the way he did. And I still disliked him when we started talking online. And then, I think, I only told myself I hated him, but it wasn’t true. I craved his attention because it made me feel…”
“Like a woman?” Aimie helped out.
“And when I came back, and he looked at me, I felt like a person who’s worthy. Of what, I didn’t know until I realized he just couldn’t—”
“Not true. I know you were going to say he couldn’t stay true to you, but Hilary and Tessa don’t believe that. Why do you?”
“Secrets? Not answering his phone? Dropping off my daughter to get away as soon as possible? Besides, I don’t think you have any right to have an opinion because you weren’t here. You haven’t seen it. You didn’t see any of it.” Shut up, Evangeline, she told herself.
Aimie didn’t run. In fact, Aimie turned toward her more, arching a brow. “You know what the good thing between us is?” she asked and Evy shook her head.
“We’re friends, but not very close ones. I’d have your back the way I have Tessa’s, EmJay’s, Hilary’s. However, with you, I know you’re tough and you prefer the utter truth. You don’t need the lie to make everything better, or get you through shit, so here’s the truth. You want to feel sorry for yourself. You’re pissed at yourself for pushing people away, but you cannot allow them close, either. And you might love your daughter—I know she’s the sweetest thing—but you didn’t plan on her. You probably told yourself back then you were being punished. Answer me one question, okay?”
Nope, she didn’t want to, but nodded anyway.
“Why didn’t you get an abortion?”
That was easy. “Because Tessa would’ve killed me.”
Aimie shook her head. “No, and we all know it. Did she fight you on the decision? Yes, but let’s be honest, if you’d have gone through with it, she would’ve supported you no matter what. It’s what best friends do. So, why didn’t you do it?”
Evy opened her mouth to say more platitudes, things about how society wouldn’t approve, but it wasn’t true. None of those were the reasons.
She swallowed. “Because I thought it was a sign. That it was time for another chance. Tessa had hers at the tips of her fingers, and maybe this was mine. The longer I thought about it, the more I realized I could be a mom. A good one. A better one than my own. Turned out I wasn’t any better.”
Aimie smirked. “You are. You are a good mom. I saw pictures of Tank and Lei, and Tessa and Lei. She’s such a happy girl. She wouldn’t be if you weren’t an awesome mom. However, you need to allow yourself to think of yourself as good. You are strong, and you are weak. Both are okay. Just be a friend, a woman, a mother, a lover, and have good days and bad, but have them all. Live it. Don’t suppress anything. And believe that people are in your life to stay.”
Before Evy could say anything at all, the front door opened and by the voices alone, she’d say all of their friends just had walked in.
‘Oh shit’ wasn’t even covering what she was thinking.
* * *
Tank felt better, more relaxed, and he had a plan. He also knew Tessa was ready to at least see Evy at the hospital again and just try to talk to her about the gala, about the organization, about Leila.
“I cannot wait for the days to get a little warmer again,” Dr. Ryan Spencer announced behind him, and Tank nodded at his friend over his shoulder, smacking right into a tiny brunette.
“What the fuck?” he asked, looking over Hilary’s head at the living room—and Evy on the couch.
“Oh my God, Aimie,” Tessa squealed and broke free from the group, hugging Aimie before turning her scolding glance toward Evy.
Next to Tank Ryan licked his lips, clearing his throat as Jazz brushed past him, nudging him with a smirk.
“What was that about?” Tank asked, wanting to focus on everything but Evy although he felt her eyes burn on his body.
Ryan shrugged and then turned away, acting suspiciously busy. He’d been by Tessa’s and Jazz’s house a lot, a close friend of those two since the time Jazz had spent at the hospital. They’d hung out a few times, but still Tank wasn’t sure if Ryan stuck around because of Jazz—or because of Tessa.
“Thom.”
He recognized the voice and it never failed to make his heart race in his chest. He had a plan, but had meant to give himself one more day.
Dragging his eyes up from her broken leg to her hazel eyes, he longed to be close to her. The need was on her face, and as he watched her, the world fell away.
All the other people in the room disappeared.
The tiny blonde he should probably at least acknowledge.
The woman who was the reason they all stood in the house together.
His best friend.
Everyone had vanished but the girl he loved, the woman who now started to cry.
He gritted his teeth, unable to think of a single thing to say and it didn’t matter because she still moved forward—without crutches, he noticed, and it made him angry—and wrapped her arms around him, pressing her face into his chest.
He stayed still for a few seconds, soaking up her warmth, her closeness, and yet didn’t allow himself to hug her.
Counting to ten, he pried her free from him. “Don’t, Evangeline,” he whispered, cupping her cheek briefly before stepping away. Hell, he needed to get out of there.
He wouldn’t have come had he not been sure Evy wouldn’t be there.
“I love you, remember?”
Her words were quiet, low, and yet they went into every fiber of his body. He believed her, too. Believed she really meant it, but that didn’t change much.
“Maybe, but you don’t love yourself. Not one bit. You don’t take your own happiness seriously. You strive to prove things to people, but you have nothing left to prove.”
She gaped at him, her tears falling more rapidly, and it hurt him.
“Where’s Leila?” she asked, looking around him as if he’d expected her daughter to just pop up now.
“Not here,” he replied.
“Obviously,” she agreed.
“I left her at Jazz’s sister’s. She has both kids. We wanted to plan Tess’ and Jazz’s time before they get married,” Hilary interjected, reminding Tank that a whole house was watching him and Evy.
“I’m out. Jazz, we’re just gonna—”
“Stay,” Evy pleaded. “I’m not mad anymore. Please, I miss you.”
He leaned in and kissed her forehead, lingering because fuck, he wanted her in his arms, on his lap, wrapped around him.
“You think I cheated. You should be furious. You should be demanding answers. You should be worth more than that to yourself, Evy. Scream at me. Right here, right now. Be angry with me. Get it all out.”
She didn’t. She shook her head and reached for him, but he evaded her touch.
“Since you’re home, I can do what I planned. Be here tomorrow morning and I’ll pick you up. Wear something nice.”
With that he turned.
“Hold on, I’m coming,” Jazz called.
“Same,” Ryan announced.
He glanced back at the two, and waited for only a few seconds, then went over to the car that sadly wasn’t his and had to wait for Jazz to unlock. He couldn’t put into words how thankful he was the guys were coming with him.
“You okay?” Jazz asked before hitting the lock.
He nodded, slowly, and then met his best friend’s eyes. “I have a plan.”
“Good. She looked miserable,” Ryan commented.
Tank smirked. “Shouldn’t you be in there? Aren’t you in on Tessa’s hen’s night? Or is Vegas suddenly not your thing?”
The doctor blushed. “Yes, but the girls can figure that out better and I… Well, you know, I felt like I should try to belong to you guys, too.”
It was then Tank realized that the doctor didn’t really have friends and it made him wonder why that was.
“Doc, what did you do before you met Tessa and Jazz?”
“Worked forty-eight-hour-shifts,” Jazz injected and then made them all get in.
“Twenty-four,” Ryan corrected.
“Beer?” Jazz suggested.
Oh yes, Tank liked that idea a whole fucking lot.
* * *
“Vegas.”
Evy only half listened, but then perked up. “Vegas?”
Tessa nodded. “We’ll do a hen’s week in Vegas. I looked up all kinds of cool things, and I’ll book the rooms and the flights. I want us to have an amazing time. And we’re taking Ryan because he’s my friend and he’s lonely.”
“Ryan’s coming?” Aimie asked, her voice high-pitched. “He’s a guy. What happens in Vegas and all that won’t happen if we drag a guy around.”
Tessa laughed and Evy couldn’t help but smirk. “You can still have wild sex.” And cue the deep red blush across Aimie’s cheeks.
“Maybe we should take Tank as well, so you, too, could have wild hot sex,” Hilary suggested, but there was only a small smile on her friend’s face. “You want it, we all know it.”
“He’s upset with me.”
“You think he cheated.”
Why did everyone keep saying it that way?
She faced them all. “You really don’t believe he did?”
The head-shaking was instant.
“Why?”
“Because he loves you. Jesus, it couldn’t have been more obvious. Not hugging you, not really kissing you nearly killed him, Evangeline. I didn’t need more than those two minutes in here to see it,” Aimie announced, being the first to answer.
Tessa just pointed at her friend. “That.”
“Amen,” Hilary agreed and then grinned. “Or rather Aimen.” She winked and Evy smirked, but then lowered her eyes.
“Maybe I don’t really believe it, either. Maybe I just think he’ll walk out at some point and—”
“Tell her, Tess,” Hilary demanded.
“Tell me what?” Evy inquired.
“He said to tell her when I think the time is right, and I…” Her best friend closed her eyes and then stood, vanishing in the hallway.
“What’s going on?”
Hilary shrugged and Aimie looked from one girl to the next. “I cannot wait to find out. Man, I’m so out of the loop,” she groaned and then let herself fall back onto the sofa while Tess came in with papers, prompting Aimie to sit up again.
“Tank met a woman. It’s true. The day he was so excited,” she started and Evy’s heart sank. She didn’t need to hear that.
“I don’t care,” she muttered, but Tessa shook her head.
“You should. Get up, we’re taking a road trip.”
“Can I come?” Aimie asked as Hilary stood, too.
She grinned. “We’re all going. I need to see that.”
Evy didn’t need to see anything. She didn’t want to see the woman Tank had met, didn’t want to get a glimpse at what could possibly be her replacement.
“I’m staying.”
“You’re coming, and you better take the crutches,” Tessa ordered and then helped her up.
Evy wanted to protest that she didn’t need them, didn’t want them, and they only hurt her hands, but the other three glanced at her, their expressions saying much, and so she went willingly after all, choosing to be with the girls over fighting with them another moment.
* * *
She knew part of the drive. Knew the way they were going until Tessa suddenly took a turn she hadn’t anticipated.
The woman Tank had been unfaithful with lived not ten minutes’ walk from Tessa’s.
They came to stop in the woods, a house that didn’t fit there at all because it looked like a Victorian house straight from a middle class town. God, Evy would’ve loved it if she’d not hated its mere presence.
“So… This is it, Evangeline Jackson.”
“What would that be?” she asked, her tone angry, hateful.
“Your new home.”
Silence hit Tessa’s statement, but it seemed no one was really surprised.
“I have no idea what you’re saying,” she admitted and Tessa got out, walking around the car to help her out of the passenger seat, then she pressed a set of keys into her hand.
“This is your home now. Tank met with a realtor. He was so excited because he planned on buying a home for you, Leila, and him; the family he always wished for. He wanted it for all of you and knew you’d love it. He came by this morning and dropped everything off at my place because he wanted you to have it. He finalized the sale after you accused him of everything.”
Evy glanced up at the house, the white exterior, the wrap-around porch, the balcony on the second floor.
“It comes fully furnished, too, and will be in your name although he’s paying for it,” Hilary added and Evy made her way over to the porch, her mind not able to process it all.
“I cannot follow. I mean, why would he do it in my name, running the risk of me kicking him out? Or not having him move in at all?”
Tessa shrugged, unlocking the door as Evangeline made no move to. Hilary and Aimie flanked her, helping her inside, and Tessa stopped next to a fireplace in a living room to her right. The whole downstairs floor was open, a kitchen to her left, beautiful and modern, with the living room comfortable and homey on the other side. There was a door leading to something under the stairs and Evy assumed it was either a bathroom or a pantry. Either way, the downstairs was beautiful.
“Tank wanted me to tell you something,” Tessa started, but Evy shook her head.
“He should be doing that. He should be telling me what he wanted me to know. I should’ve trusted him,” she whispered, sinking down onto the bottom step of the stairs she’d moved over to. She wanted to go upstairs, see the bedroom he’d probably originally considered being theirs and now thought would only belong to her. She wanted to see what else was hidden inside this house he’d wanted to be their family home.
She started sobbing as she realized how his excitement must’ve come crashing down, how she’d ruined it all by not trusting him.
By not trusting herself to be worthy of his unconditional love and faithfulness.
They’d all been right.
She’d never doubted him. She’d doubted herself and had ruined what would’ve been the most incredible surprise of her life. In fact, the way she had reacted she might have ruined the most incredible thing she’d ever had going for herself.
Her friends were all silent, no one stepping forward to hug or comfort her and she thought it served her right.
Or maybe it simply was the way she crossed her arms in front of her chest, unable to make it any more obvious they weren’t the ones she wanted to be hugged from.
“Nothing is lost,” Tessa assured her, sitting down on the step next to her eventually, nudging her with her shoulder.
“No, Evy. He loves you. He still wants you to have the house. And you can make it right with him,” Hilary added.
“He just wants you happy, I’m sure,” Aimie pointed out.
Evy cleared her throat. “I should’ve been like you. I should’ve known, after all he did for me, for Leila…” She shook her head.
Tessa cleared her throat. “About that… You should’ve seen him that morning after your fight. Leila went over and called him Daddy, but he corrected her, reminded her his name was Tank. His face… God, Evy. There’s no one who could be a better father for your daughter than him, and I know you need someone by your side who shows you how great a mother you are.”
“A mother who hands off her child all the time. Over and over. A mother who earlier only thought of her daughter when—”
Hilary shook her head. “We don’t say you can’t be better. We’re saying you need a new way of thinking about yourself, your life. You need to reconsider your priorities.”
Which she couldn’t do, because then she’d be going back home.
“Someone tell me the gala will be a success,” she pleaded, but neither Tessa nor Hilary met her eyes.
“We cannot promise you that. There’s so much that could go wrong, so much that could ruin this, but we’re trying and it’s on a good way. We tried out best. You did your best. All of them. Everyone. We’ll try to wing this gala.”
Evy swallowed. “Then I don’t need the house. I need Tank to be willing to move to the UK with me because I don’t have a job or anything here after the gala if it fails.”
And suddenly she didn’t care as long as Tank would be there to be with her and her daughter.
Tessa laughed softly. “How about we panic about that after the gala? Although, I do believe he’d follow you everywhere the moment you make it clear to him that you’re it for life. Because that’s what you are, right?”
Evy couldn’t help the hope and happiness blooming in her chest. She knew exactly what she’d do, and now couldn’t wait to see Tank the next morning.