Evy had no idea how long she’d really slept because she could no longer say when she’d gotten home, but her head felt heavy as if she’d been drinking. Sitting up in bed she couldn’t deny that the little sleep she’d gotten during the last weeks finally seemed to catch up with her. Additionally, she wouldn’t lie, although she had a new kind of stress now, the worry about getting the event had dropped from her shoulders, making her lighter than before, and much more ready to sleep the day away.
A squealing downstairs caused her to be wide awake within seconds.
Leila.
She hadn’t seen much of her daughter yesterday, and although she’d planned on at least kissing her good night last night, she’d not managed. She vaguely remembered falling asleep in Tank’s truck, and some comments Hilary and he made, but she’d been almost fully out of it.
God, sleeping as little as she did was hell and she wondered how Tessa had managed it with as little sleep as Evy knew she’d gotten right after Jazz had returned.
She changed into dark jeans and a blouse, figuring mixed with heels it would still look business-like, but at least she’d feel a lot more comfortable than the day before. She brushed out her hair, braided it, and then went to brush her teeth, too. She worried if she didn’t do it now, but tried for doing it after breakfast, she probably would forget altogether.
She glanced at her phone before pocketing it. It was shortly after seven. It might be early for others, but she felt bad for having slept so long to begin with when she had so much to do.
Sighing, she also figured the UK would have afternoon now and she might as well inform her asshole boss about what had happened, so she took the phone out again right away.
He picked up after what felt a hundred rings. “Lanestrong Junior?”
She gritted her teeth against his snobbish tone. “Jackson. I just wanted to report that I signed the contract officially yesterday. The Army Charity Gala is a Lanestrong event now. I’d have sent the papers over, but I don’t have a scanner yet, so it’ll take a little while, especially because I have other things to do.”
Silence.
“Mr. Lanestrong?” she asked.
“You scored the event?” There was fury in his voice, and utter disbelief.
“It was the assigned task, wasn’t it?” she asked innocently, waiting for a heartbeat before telling him she had to run.
“You better not embarrass us, Evangeline Jackson,” he growled and she smirked, happy she’d caught him off-guard.
“I won’t. My dream’s on the line and no one knows that better than you. And now I really have to go. I’m meeting with some people I plan to hire. I’ll send those papers along, too, after I bought a scanner.”
She liked knowing she basically could do her own thing, and when Ian just told her to make sure all was legally safe before hanging up, she grinned at the mirror, feeling almost smug. Straightening her shoulders, she decided to get ready and leave for the office after kissing her daughter hello.
Only when standing in the doorway it hit her that she didn’t have a car and therefore couldn’t do anything. She’d also forgotten to make sure Tank would pick her up again.
Groaning, she made her way down the stairs.
“Mommy!” Leila came running the moment she heard her, her little legs stuffed into pink leggings and sparkling slippers.
She had a chocolate mouth and Evy caught her before laughing. “You look as if breakfast is good,” she commented and then rounded the corner to reach Hilary’s kitchen.
Truth was, she still felt a little weird around the woman because Tessa had known her well, had talked to her more often, and although they were friends and had met before, she wasn’t sure what Hilary thought of her.
“Sit. Have coffee. And listen.”
Evy grinned to herself. Those were probably the moments Tessa had always been whining about when talking to Evy, because they meant Hils had something to say you mostly wouldn’t like.
And that actually made the grin vanish. “I’m okay with the coffee,” she teased.
“You’ll also be okay with breakfast and listening.”
Evy shook her head. “I’m going to do breakfast later.” Even before she’d finished that sentence, a plate with pancakes was placed in front of her while Leila struggled to get down from her lap, running back into the living room.
Hilary also brought a mug with coffee, then she pulled out a chair.
“I’ll watch your daughter while you do that crazy project, but only under a few conditions. One, you’re home by seven to see her and you bring her to bed yourself. You can do work from here afterward, but you’ll also get a decent amount of sleep. You English girls have a tendency to run yourself into the ground. Two, you have breakfast before you leave. Three, you take off Sundays, and that one is just as non-negotiable as the rest. You need time with your daughter, and you need time to get your head free. Tessa will help you all she can, but she also knows how important downtime and family time are. Four, you are always honest with me, as I will always be honest with you.”
Evy lowered her eyes as to not allow Hilary to see the defiance in her glance. “You’re not my mother, Hilary, and an event like that—”
Hilary didn’t let her get further. “Don’t even start, okay? I’m not going to budge, and if you don’t accept those terms, you can find someone else to watch Leila. Tessa and Jazz pick up John at four the latest. What they do with him afterward? I don’t know and it’s not my business, but they do. He needs his parents. Leila needs her mom.”
Evy turned, looking for her daughter. She spotted the light head behind the sofa, softly humming to herself. “I love my daughter, but I’m not exactly like Tessa. My job is important to me. I wouldn’t give it up just to be a mom.” Because she knew if push came to shove, Tessa would put her family before everything else.
In her mind she tried to figure out how she could have Leila around when she was working if Hilary should refuse to watch her daughter. It would be nearly impossible.
“I know that, okay? No one’s like Tessa. No one’s like you really, either. And I don’t expect you to be, but I’m opening up my kindergarten again, here in my house. It means I need to be able to count on the parents to take care of their kids so I don’t feel as if they are my own.”
Evy met her eyes. “Which you do anyway because you see Johnny so much.” She shouldn’t feel defensive, but she did.
“Actually… No. I have Johnny from about eleven, before Tessa leaves for her show, and I already said they pick him up at four. No weekend duties. I pushed until Tessa did what a mother had to do, and Ev, I’m going to do the same with you. Hard work or not, there’s so much computer work, so much reading and calculating and phone calls you need to make… You can do some of that here, while Leila is around. You need her to keep you sane. And…”
Evy definitely knew why Tessa hated these talks.
“Look, I know we’re not nearly as close as you and Tessa were before she came, so I don’t expect you to treat me the same, but—”
Hilary stood, pushing the plate of pancakes closer to Evy again. “I treat you exactly the same. Tessa didn’t think being here was pleasant, because I kept kicking her ass. I kept telling her to get a grip. And I also put away all keys to keep her from going anywhere when I thought she needed the break.”
Evy remembered Tessa mentioning that once. “She needed it. You were right in doing that.”
Hilary laughed briefly. “She wouldn’t have agreed with you, to be honest. But that doesn’t matter. You girls are a piece of work. What happened to easy-going and fun-loving, lazy and laughing? I want one of those people to move in so I can be the cool sister instead of the annoying mom. But no, here I am, fussing again. Plus… I’d hoped someone would move in with me again so I wouldn’t be alone. I still am. I hardly see you.”
That Evy understood, and she felt instantly guilty again. “I’d promise it won’t always be like that, but I know it’s a lie. There’s too much to do.”
“Two more days, Ev, and then take off Sunday. I’m going to think of something we can do outside. We can meet up with Tessa and her family, and just do fun things. Unwind a little from all the stress and think about different things. Maybe you could even bring Tank.”
Evy picked up the fork and knife to start eating in order to avoid looking at Hilary. “Why would I bring Tank?” she asked, trying to sound indifferent.
Hilary sighed. “Because I think he needs it. Seeing how life really works. There’s something off about him. Like… I don’t know, maybe it’s just because I keep seeing him now more than ever, but it’s like he’s broken.”
“He’s an ass and you know it.” Then again, Evy didn’t really believe that.
“He’s an ass with everyone else. He hasn’t been one with you. Not even in the beginning. And he changed with me, too. However, you know… I’m kinda still curious about that dinner you had with him. The burger thing when we were at that Halloween party.”
It had been an easy-going and intense evening. “Food, talk, him being pissed at Ian on my behalf, and that was pretty much it.”
Hilary studied her, squeezing her eyes closed before she shook her head. “Fine, don’t tell me. But maybe you’re the one to change him.”
Evy laughed. She’d yet to take a bite of the pancakes and somehow couldn’t bring herself to do so. Her stomach was in knots and she couldn’t exactly say why. “Tank? Me? That’s ridiculous. I’m so not his type.”
“He has a type?” Hilary asked, sounding honestly surprised.
“Cheap and dumb?” Evy suggested.
Hils shook her head. “Honestly? No. I think the way he treats you is much differently than anyone else I know. He was sweet with Tessa for a while there, but nothing compares to the way he is with you. Plus, he’s handsome.”
Evy didn’t comment, finally putting a bite into her mouth, chewing. The pancakes were cold, but damn, they were still heavenly. “This food is freaking awesome.”
Hilary did a small bow. “Thank you, but you cannot distract me.” She winked. “Tank? Be honest here, with you, and with me.”
Evy squinted at her. “Are you trying to play matchmaker, Hils?”
“I’m not trying anything. But he brought you here last night, Evy, and the way he handled you… I think he deserves a chance. That is, if you think he could be—”
“I have a child, and I’ve met a lot of guys like Tank in my life. I just cannot risk it. I have too much to lose here, and imagine I would try something with Tank, anything at all, and it doesn’t work out. I’d have to constantly see him and be around him because he’s Jazz’s best friend.”
“What if it works out and he makes you happy?”
Evy wouldn’t admit that perspective scared her even more than anything else because she couldn’t see herself trusting someone so fully—and what kind of relationship would that be?
* * *
The house seemed quiet as Tank rang the doorbell, but it didn’t take longer than ten seconds for the silence to be interrupted.
“Tant!” Leila’s excited scream penetrated the front door and he already smiled to himself before even seeing the girl.
Hilary opened the door. “Told you,” she called inside and then moved so Leila could come out. Tank knelt and caught her, collecting sloppy kisses that made his heart thud with tenderness. God, he wished she’d always be as innocent as she was now.
“Tant! Tome! Draw,” she insisted, taking his index finger and pulling him inside. Hilary arched a brow at him, giving him an unreadable look.
Evy stood in the living room wearing jeans and a blouse, her hair back, and he wanted to walk over and draw her against him to kiss her hello. He’d never before felt an impulse like that and so he turned away, focusing on the little girl who tugged at him to sit down next to the coffee table.
“Tome,” she insisted and he glanced at Evy.
“Do we have a few minutes?” He could tell she wanted to say no, but then nodded.
“We sure do.”
She sat on the sofa, Hilary next to her, and he felt oddly observed as he picked up the pen Leila pushed toward him.
“Here,” the girl ordered, pointing at a star, and he nodded.
“Will do, Ma’am,” he replied. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d colored anything, but when Leila nodded in approval, he grinned.
“Dood. This now.” She pointed at another star and he colored that, too.
“So, what’s the plan for today?” he asked casually.
“Checking the replies, making a list, and then I was thinking I need to see the location.”
He nodded. “We can pick up Lei and take her to the aquarium later,” he pointed out and then heard a thump and Evy complain about something having hurt.
He glanced at them, but besides Evy rubbing her ribs, he couldn’t say what was going on.
“Yes?” he prompted, but the girls just looked at him innocently.
“I like the idea of picking her up, but won’t we waste time if we take her? I mean, after all it’ll take much longer if we look at everything.” There was longing in Evy’s voice, as if she wanted to see the fish and whatnot.
“Evangeline loves the ocean and everything water, so…” Hilary injected casually, arching a brow at him, almost as if trying to tell him something. Something like… This could be a covert date.
“You won’t mind taking Lei and maybe watching her while I speak to the people there?” Evy asked, not reacting to Hilary’s comment.
“Lei, wanna watch fish with me later?” Tank asked toward the little girl and she nodded eagerly.
“Fish! Fish!” She started dancing around the table, around him, and he grabbed her, pulling her onto his lap to tickle her until she giggled, kicking like crazy trying to get away.
“Yes, fish. But before that you’ll be good with Hils, okay? Go take a nap on time and be nice.”
He wasn’t sure the girl was old enough to understand instructions like that, but she nodded nonetheless, making him grin.
“Ready?” Evy asked after he’d put Leila on her feet again, and he took the hand Evangeline held out to him, offering to help him up. He’d manage perfectly fine by himself, but it didn’t matter because he wanted to touch her.
Her fingers were cold under his and he almost pulled them between his palms to warm them.
Almost, because they had an audience and he hadn’t decided what he wanted to do about himself and Evy at all.
“I’ll call you before we come over so you can have her dressed and everything, okay?” Evy asked Hilary and her friend nodded. Tank watched as Evy crouched down to hug and kiss her daughter, lingering in the hug.
“Love you,” Leila announced. “Love Tant, too,” she continued.
“I love you, too, little one,” he replied, ruffling through her hair. The words felt foreign in his lips, and he couldn’t remember if he’d ever said them before, and yet, they felt right, too.
“See you later, Hils,” Evy stated, her voice having taken on a weird tone, and Tank wondered if he’d overstepped a boundary.
Once they were out of the door, he wanted to ask her about it when she stopped, startled.
“How did my car get back here?” she asked, surprised.
Tank grinned. “Tessa took it. Seems she has a spare key she forgot to hand to you and when going with Jazz to pick something up at the base, she saw it, so she took it back with her and caught a bus from here. Johnny’s going with her today, so when we meet her later at your office, we’ll have them both there.”
“It’s good. I miss seeing the little man.”
Tank nodded. “Me, too, to be honest.”
They crossed over to his car and she got in, not even giving him the time to open the door for her. Once they were both inside, he confirmed that they were starting with the office, then got on the road. Being in the car with her regularly was nice yet confusing. Her berry scent drove him wild, and her silence added to his stress even more.
“You have something on your mind. We need to get you to the point where you tell me things without me prompting,” he complained and she chuckled briefly before sobering again.
“Just you and… kids. Like… I cannot believe how well you are with them. I didn’t think it would be like that.”
He grinned. “I can ease your mind. I’m not normally like this. With Leila it’s easy. She’s the most amazing kid I ever met. Open and friendly and sweet. And Johnny… He’s my best friend’s son. Jazz is like my brother. As much as Tessa doesn’t like it, I’m like the cool uncle you cannot get rid of, that you don’t want around your kids but that kids love.”
She stayed silent for a moment, then placed her hand on his thigh, making him swallow. “I want you around Leila. She loves you. So much. And I trust you with her. She needs a father figure, needs to know someone besides me loves her, so whenever you want to see her, Tank, you’d do me a gigantic favor in dropping by and just spending time with her.”
He gulped. Was she offering him an in with her family? Did she want him in her life? Maybe he should be trying for the relationship thing, too.
Clearing his throat, and wondering what in the world he was going to do if she said yes, he said what was on his mind. “Can I come and visit you, too, when I want to see you? Not just for sex, but because I want to be around you?”
His voice was quiet, subdued, and for a moment he wondered if maybe she hadn’t heard him over the engine running and the music playing in the background, but then she took his hand where it rested on the stick, entwining their fingers.
“Let’s try not to kill each other in the process, okay?” she suggested and he laughed, kissing the back of her hand just because he felt as if he could.
“I’ve never done a relationship,” he confessed, hoping she understood what he was trying to say.
“Yeah, it’s been a while for me too, but I can give you the basics. No other women. No complaining about me being me. No lies.”
He could ease her mind about one thing at least. “There hasn’t been any woman I’ve been thinking about besides you. And the one you heard when you called… you know which talk I mean?”
He saw how she worked her jaw and took that as a yes.
“She looked like you, and in the dark alley I could almost pretend it was you. However, I can’t get it up anymore.”
“You did fine with me,” she replied smugly.
“Because it was you.”
She laughed, squeezing his hand. “We’re going to mess this up,” she predicted.
He couldn’t help but feel confident anyway. “At least we’ll mess up together, and then we’ll clean the mess up together. And if nothing else works, we’ll ask Tessa and Jazz for pointers.”
She sobered. “I’m no Tessa.”
“And I’m no Jazz, but let’s face it, you still like being held.”
“And kissed. By you.”
He shrugged. “See, we have things to work with, so now let’s make this event amazing and then see where the future takes us. Trust me, okay?”
“Already do,” she replied and he couldn’t remember if he’d ever heard words that made him feel as good as those two did.