Three days later Tank had a routine down: pick up Leila in the morning, take her back to the hospital to see Evy, check on the office, and supervise everything while Tessa did her show, then take the girl back to see her mother and hang out with Evy until the evening and the little one had to get to bed.
He hated leaving in the evenings, both times, with mother and with daughter. They still worked on getting Leila to stop calling him Daddy.
Well, Evy did.
Tank didn’t mind and dropped the word as often as he could. Yes, he felt bad manipulating someone who didn’t even realize it, but maybe at some point Evy would give up correcting her daughter and just accept that he was there to stay.
“Daddy,” Leila muttered, tugging at his hand while trying to move him forward. They’d just entered the office and as much as Tank loved being around Leila, he needed some time alone that morning because there was something he wanted to do.
“Jazz?” he called, knowing his best friend had promised to be around because Tessa and he wanted to use the morning to rehearse together. She was slowly freaking out although Tank had heard her give her speech more times than he could count, and each time he loved it more.
“Tank?”
“Can you watch Leila for a few hours? I need some… time. I mean, I need a break.” He cringed, knowing how that sounded, but hoped Jazz would understand.
“You should’ve left Leila at Hils’ then. She’s not here today anyway. That would’ve given you a break and no one would’ve known. Tank, be sensible,” his best friend pleaded
Nope, Jazz didn’t understand, and by the looks of them neither did the women who volunteered for Evy.
“It’s just two hours, Jesse. You can handle her for two fucking hours, right? I’m not going to do anything stupid.”
“Futtin,” Leila echoed next to him and he closed his eyes, kneeling.
“Forget that word right away, okay? It’s a bad word. I shouldn’t have said it. Bad word.”
Her brows furrowed and she nodded. “Bad word,” she repeated and he rested his forehead against hers before glancing at his watch, clearing his throat and hoping Jazz hadn’t noticed anything.
He really had to get going.
“I’ll be back.”
He ignored the dark look Jazz was giving him, or the irritated ‘where’s he going?’ Tessa threw at her fiancé.
He just hoped Tessa or someone would look after Leila. They loved the little girl there and as much as he had considered taking her along, he worried too much she’d blab.
When he got to his truck, he turned briefly, finding Jazz standing at the window. He grinned, just for the briefest most, but his best friend didn’t give that back.
I’ll deal with it later, Tank thought and then got in, hoping things wouldn’t take long. He turned off his phone, his heart racing as he put the truck into gear and then left the office building and his more-than-pissed best friend behind.
* * *
Evy stared at the book she’d meant to read, but her thoughts were on Tank and Leila. She hardly saw one without the other and it eased her mind tremendously to know someone was watching over her daughter who hadn’t been half-forced into it.
She knew Hilary didn’t mind at all, but that didn’t mean Evy liked knowing her friend barely had another choice.
As if she’d heard Evy’s thoughts, the door opened and Hilary came in, carrying a cup from a coffee shop down the street.
“Oh God, you’re my lifesaver,” Evy groaned and reached out before her friend had even stepped close to the bed. The brunette laughed, nudging Evy until she moved over while Hils kicked off her shoes.
“Since Jazz has John, and Tank has Leila, I was bored and figured so were you. How are things going?”
Evy pointed at her leg and the bed. “Not going at all, as you can see.” She winked, but Hilary faked a yawn.
“What a lame joke. How much longer will you have to stay?”
Evy shrugged, her leaving being a sore topic. “They aren’t sure I’ll prop up that leg when I’m home, and even if it’s in a cast, if I move it too much, I could still disturb the fracture. You can take from that what you want.”
“Grounded until you promise to be a good girl. Got it. You know, I already filled the fridge with healthy snacks so when you’re back we can binge series and whatnot. I plan to watch over you. Someone needs to keep your pretty behind on the couch.”
Evy gave her a thankful smile, wanting to reply when her phone went off.
Hilary sighed. “That’s why they don’t let you out, because they fear you’re going to be running over there the second you can.”
“It’s Tess. Hey, girl!” she greeted cheerily.
“Where did you put the lighting plan for around the stage?” Tessa instantly asked.
“Tank has that. He also has the overall lighting plans because he was looking at it with the electricians and made sure he had the numbers for the cable lengths down in case one of the electricians quit short notice.”
“Got it. Leila, step away from Johnny, please? He’s asleep, sweetie, and cannot play with you right now,” Tessa announced and Evy wished she could see her daughter being around the baby. She’d wondered how that would be, especially since she could see herself having more children eventually, and that was a new revelation still freaking her out mildly. However, that adventure was so much less scary when you had someone to share it with.
“Okay, I’ll call Tank and ask him where they are. I’m going to drop by later and—”
“Isn’t Tank with you?”
Evy held her breath, unease settling in her stomach.
“No, he dropped off Lei, asked Jazz to watch her for two hours and then was off. I’m sure he just remembered something he forgot,” Tessa quickly said, but Evy didn’t feel calmer at all.
“I’ll call him, honey,” she heard Jazz say in the background and she tensed, sitting up straighter in her bed.
There was soft muttering after a few seconds and Evy knew then.
They couldn’t reach Tank. And he’d needed two hours because it was all it took for him to meet a hook-up and get what he wanted. Hell, he’d probably be back even earlier because he didn’t need two hours to get his dick wet after she’d neglected him as much as she had.
“Well, great, Tank will bring the papers right over,” Tessa said, her voice over-the-top happy.
“He won’t. His phone’s off because he doesn’t want to be disturbed,” Evy muttered flatly.
She was crushed. There was no other word. She’d trusted him. She’d trusted him with her daughter, her life, and her heart, and this was how he was thanking her after promising she’d have all the time in the world.
She should’ve known that someone like him didn’t change so fast, so thoroughly.
“Yes, but,” Tessa injected, “before you think anything of it, remember the way he treated you, the way he cares about you. He wouldn’t hurt you or do anything to hurt you.”
Maybe he wouldn’t even consider it cheating because his heart wasn’t in it; because he wanted nothing more than a quick fuck.
Maybe, in his warped mind, it was okay.
“Since when are you so fast to jump to Tank’s defense?” Evy snarled, hot tears burning down her cheeks, and as much as she wished it was anger at what he was doing to her, she knew it was regret because what he’d promised her had seemed too perfect, so absolutely right, and losing it freaked her out.
Hilary snagged the phone from her. “I got it, Tess,” she assured her and then hung up.
“You got what?” Evy asked her voice choked.
“He’s not cheating on you,” Hilary stated resolutely and Evy felt like reminding her and Tessa that they were supposed to be her friends.
“How do you know? And what in the world is wrong with you and Tessa suddenly that you’re taking his side? You know exactly how he was!”
Hilary stood, glaring at her. “You got it. How he was! He hasn’t been like that for so long, Ev. When Tessa returned to the US, I already thought he was different. Just subtle things, small comments that made me worry about what the hell was going on with him, but after you came? He wasn’t the same and I daresay he liked the person he became. I’ve never seen him as happy as he was around you. Insecure and worried, too, but mostly happy. God, his expression rivaled Jazz’s there for a little while.”
Evy still wiped at her cheeks, not able to believe one word. Her heart had known he’d walk away, and it wasn’t because he was an asshole, but because sometimes guys only realized they loved the life they thought they hated when living a different one.
It wasn’t his fault they weren’t a good match.
It wasn’t hers, either, but it cut deep. So deep.
“You can say what you want. You all just caught a glimpse of him.”
Hilary snorted, her expression bitter. “You know what the real problem is, Evangeline? It’s not him, but the fact that you only caught glimpses of him, too, because it was shitty timing with you having to do that job. This isn’t because of him. You don’t bawl your eyes out because he supposedly cheats, but because you think you deserve it for how you treated him. He did everything for you, and you? You just kept taking,” Hilary explained and suddenly Evy wanted to do nothing more than to curl up and cry in peace.
“Out,” she muttered.
“I wouldn’t kick me out if I were in your shoes, Evangeline, because Tessa is not going to tell you anything different. I’d hoped you two would make it until after this madness was over so he could see you wanting to make him as happy as he wants to make you, but you’re caving.”
“He is currently fucking another woman!” Evy’s voice resembled a hysteric cry and she couldn’t get her voice under control, either, as more choked sobs tumbled from her lips.
“Keep believing that, girl, and the only thing happening will be you making yourself unhappy.”
“Out!” Evy screamed again and this time Hilary actually left.
* * *
Tank stared at the blonde across from him and smiled to himself. This was going exactly the way he wanted.
“No strings attached?” he assured himself and she laughed, leaning forward in her seat.
“No strings attached until you come back for more,” she promised and then shrugged.
He was glad they were done. His mind was a lot calmer and his body no longer tense all over.
Also, it had taken less time than he’d expected. He followed the blonde to the door, hugging her softly.
“Until next time.” She grinned, wiggling her brows and he laughed.
God, everything had worked out perfectly and he almost whistled as he got back into his truck, his heart lighter than it had been in months. Hell, probably lighter than it had been the first time he’d seen Evy and realized he maybe wanted more.
There was no maybe in his mind anymore.
He dropped by the office, turning his phone on on the way, picked up Leila and promised Tessa he’d go to the venue later and bring by the lighting plans. She’d been on the phone, discussing some prices which had been unexpectedly raised, from what he could gather, and he’d made sure to grab Leila and get away from Tessa’s anger. The last thing he needed was someone dulling the relief he felt.
“Daddy,” Leila squealed, throwing herself into his arms and he hugged her tight, kissing the top of her head.
“Let’s go, we’re gonna meet your mom now, how about that?”
And he wanted to hurry because if he needed to be at the venue, he didn’t want the electricians to wait much longer.
The hospital was surprisingly quiet, and as usual he didn’t bother knocking on Evy’s door. Instead he put Leila down and let her run in first.
“Mommy!”
“Hey baby. Mommy missed you.”
Tank knew something was off before even seeing her, because her words sounded choked, as if she’d been crying.
“Hey Ev,” he greeted her, walking over to the bed, but when he leaned down to kiss her cheek, she evaded him. “What’s up?” he asked, sitting on the bed where he could see her face, and really, her eyes were puffy and red, and there were traces of tears on her cheeks. Panic gripped him.
“What happened?” He reached out, but she slapped away his hand.
“Nothing. What happened to your phone? I tried to call you!”
He took it out. He’d completely forgotten to check for missed messages after turning it on, but didn’t want to do so while she was watching. “Nothing happened. I was in a meeting and turned it off. I just—”
“Meeting,” she snarled and he finally got pissed.
“Why don’t you just say what you want to say and—”
The rest of the sentence was left unfinished when a woman came in, one he’d never seen before yet could place instantly because she looked like a more mature version of the woman he loved.
“Mom?” Evy asked in utter disbelief. “What are you doing here?”
Evangeline’s mother brought her hands to her lips as tears gathered in her eyes. “What am I doing here? What am I doing here? I’m your mother! I cannot believe precious Tessa had to call me to let me know my daughter was in the hospital. You could’ve died and I wouldn’t have been informed.”
Tank noticed how Leila edged closer to him, escaping her mother’s grip because Evy was focused on the other woman in the room.
“Daddy,” Leila whispered and Tank gathered her close.
“You’re not her father,” Mrs. Jackson snarled, her attention suddenly on him. “Her father is a business man from London who—”
“Stop it, mother! Tank has been more a father to Leila than Ian will ever be. You cannot barge in here and expect to know what’s going on!”
“Evangeline Jackson, is that a way to talk to your mother? I just flew half across the world to see you because I was worried!”
“And you come in here and attack the one person who’s had my back no matter what? The one person who didn’t mind standing by my side when I needed help?”
Tank wasn’t sure if he should stay or go, but when Evy seemed to feel his readiness to leave, she grabbed his hand.
“Stay,” she whispered softly, and no matter what had been going on before, this was the girl he knew, and if she wanted him around, he was going to stay around.
After all, they could always fight later, and the way her body vibrated with anger, the way her eyes had glittered when she’d asked him about his phone told him for sure that there was still trouble on the horizon.
* * *
No matter what she was thinking, what she worried he’d done, or rather was sure he’d done, her mother had no right to talk to him the way she had. After all, she’d come to the conclusion that he was still good for Leila.
No matter if he was a cheater or not.
If yes, he’d not ever return to her bed, but she wouldn’t and couldn’t cut him out of their lives, because Leila needed a father figure; someone to show her things Evangeline couldn’t.
And if not… well, what was there to think about then?
“Thomas Michaels, meet my mother, Dana Jackson. Mom, meet my boyfriend, Tank.”
Her mother squinted and too late Evangeline recalled what she’d told her mother about Tank. “The guy who’d treated Tessa like—”
“Mother, Leila is still here,” Evy interrupted before her mother could say a word Leila probably would repeat only too readily.
“Ev, maybe I should go and find some food for her, huh? I’ll be back a little later,” Tank suggested and made to stand, but Evy drew him back down.
“Stay, please?” No matter what, she preferred him around over her mother.
“Let him go so we can talk alone, daughter. What happened anyway?”
Before Evy could answer, Tank did. “She was trying to prove that she could do things alone. In fact, since she came she was trying to show everyone how strong exactly she is, and how little she needs other people, hence why no one was informed when she came here. It’s your fault we are where we are now.
“There were no emergency contacts, and in order for me and Leila to be able to see her, I needed to make up a white lie, which is why your granddaughter calls me ‘Daddy’,” he explained. “But besides that, I’d be honored to be a dad to that little girl because never has anyone touched my heart and soul the way your daughter and that child have.”
The sincerity in his voice nearly killed Evangeline, because it was obvious he believed what he’d just said.
Every. Damn. Word.
And still he’d done what he’d done.
Her mother stared at him and she couldn’t believe how much she’d missed her mother and yet didn’t want to see her. Not now, not any time soon.
It was funny, but as long as she’d lived in London and had seen her mother regularly, she’d never realized how much she’d come to resent her for never believing she could do anything alone.
“How is that my fault?” her mother finally asked, her voice high-pitched while Tank seemed calmer than before.
“She wanted to be independent for you, learned from you to not ask for help. That’s how this is your fault.”
“Tank,” Evy whispered, not sure if she wanted him to shut up or if she was silently thanking him for taking her side.
God, if he’d cheated on her, could she forgive him? Would she be able to overlook that one time? And what exactly was there telling her he wouldn’t do it again?
Suddenly she needed to kiss him, even if it was the last time she ever would. She cupped the back of his neck, clearly surprising him, and drew him in, kissing him with everything she feared, everything she worried about losing, and everything she had to give.
He cupped her cheek, his eyes tracing her face in worry, and she knew it was justified, but as long as her mother stood witness, she wasn’t going to break down again, and she certainly wasn’t going to confront him.
Now, if only her mother would stay forever so she could pretend this bubble around them hadn’t finally burst.
* * *
It was late by the time Evy’s mother decided to go back to the hotel and it was obvious Evy was drained, yet he couldn’t go. Not when she’d been so angry with him prior to her mother’s arrival.
Leila was asleep against Evy’s side and he sat while she stared at the ceiling, tears brimming in her eyes.
“I guess the bubble finally will burst,” she muttered and he sat, taking her hand, but she pulled away.
“What bubble?”
She shrugged, the tears now making their way down her cheeks. “While my mother was here I didn’t want to fight. I didn’t want to let her see how stupid I was… again.”
Cold settled in his stomach. “Is this still about my turned-off phone?”
“Was she dark-haired? Or a blonde?”
“What?”
Finally her hazel eyes shifted to his, a world of pain in them that told him more than any of her words or gestures had done in weeks. “Drop off my daughter, almost run out of the office, us not having as much sex as you were probably used to, your phone turned off… I’m not stupid, you know? I can’t even blame you.”
God, he’d been stupid.
The way Jazz had glared at him as he’d asked to him watch Leila.
Tessa trying to call him.
The question about his phone.
“It’s not what you think,” he whispered.
She smiled through her tears and he was torn about the surprise of her considering forgiving him—because it was plainly visible in her eyes—and angry that after the speech she had made some days prior, she suddenly thought he would do something like that.
“It’s not what you think. What a classic sentence,” she muttered, her eyes taking him in, roaming his face, and he stood.
“It’s not. I guess trying to explain would be ridiculous, huh? You’d think I lied.”
She shrugged, staring back up at the ceiling and Tank leaned in, picking Leila up. Evy’s brow furrowed. “What in the world are you doing?”
“Leila needs to get to bed, so I’ll drop her off at Hilary’s. Whatever is going on between us, or not, doesn’t have anything to do with her. And you can call the police to make sure I deliver her safely, but I’m going to take her.”
He gritted his teeth, holding her eyes. “Say what you actually wanted to say. Come on, it has to eat you from the inside.”
Maybe she hadn’t meant that he was cheating on her. Maybe she didn’t believe that after all.
Was she dark-haired? Or a blonde?
“Why? You know I know, so what’s left to say?”
He shrugged, anger replacing the weird hollow feeling he’d had before. “Say the words, Evangeline. I cannot believe you cheated on me, Tank. I trusted you. I thought you’d changed. I was wrong. Come on.”
“Why did you? I just needed a few more weeks until after the gala and it would’ve been you, Leila, and me. But no, you didn’t have that much time. And I guess I don’t deserve any different. I didn’t know what I was doing. I never had anyone wanting to stay with me, because I… I can’t let them in.”
“Are you saying you had it coming? Or are you saying it was clear I was going to fall into my old ways? Which is it? Because right now I cannot decide if you blame me, yourself, or just the universe. You know, actually, it doesn’t matter.”
He stared at her as she stayed silent no matter how much he wished she would protest, insist, scream.
Maybe it would hurt less if she’d scream instead of just silently accepting things for what they were.
Or rather were not.
She sighed and he hesitated a long moment, leaning in then to press an angry and desperate kiss to her lips, but then he shifted Leila and left the room.
She didn’t call him back, nor did she call for help as he carried her girl out of there, and maybe he should’ve been angry about that, but instead he was confused.
She trusted him to take care of her daughter and not hurt her, but she absolutely couldn’t believe he’d do the same with her?
What the hell was going on in her mind?
* * *
The doorbell rang and he could hear it outside, as if the house was hollower than ever before.
Hilary opened, her eyes filled with sadness and he couldn’t believe she, too, knew.
“I didn’t,” he stated, because he felt as if that was the only thing that mattered that moment.
“I know, Tank. I never believed you did. Seriously. Come on in and get Leila to bed. As much as it hurts me, I don’t think you should pick her up anymore until Evy sees reason.”
He shouldered past her, walking up the stairs and getting Leila bed-ready like he’d done a few times until that moment.
“Nite, Daddy,” Lei muttered and he leaned in, kissing her cheek before resting his forehead against hers.
“Night, little one.” He couldn’t believe how much it hurt him to think he’d not see her for a few days.
Was he ready to give up on her mother and her?
No, not at all, but he also wouldn’t crawl around Evy’s feet, begging for forgiveness when there was no doubt she didn’t have the faith in him she’d promised.
God, where had he gone wrong after that evening when his mother had tried to create chaos? And why did he long to still see Evy now? Be around her?
He made his way back down the stairs and Hilary surprised him by hugging him tight.
“Did she give you a chance to explain?”
He shook his head, running his hands through his dark blond hair. “I didn’t even try. Do you think she would’ve listened?”
“She didn’t listen to either Tessa or me. I’m tempted to ask what you did just because you were so secretive, but I’m also not gonna do it because I want you to believe me when I say I don’t think you’d ever cheat on that woman… or her daughter. It’s not your fault. God, I wanna shake her. So bad.”
“She’s hurt enough, okay? It doesn’t matter what you think about me or not, you have to promise me something on behalf of Tessa and you.”
Hils arched a brow. “Okay?”
“You’re all she has left. Her mother is here and she’s a dragon. Why didn’t I know that?”
Hilary shook her head. “Neither did I. I thought Evy loved her, so I figured she was a great woman.”
He’d thought so, too, but that night had shown him that destructive parents came in many sizes and shapes.
“I’ll see you at the office tomorrow, okay?” he whispered because if there was one thing he wasn’t going to do, it was dropping out of helping, especially when this project was all that stood between making things all right with Evy, and never risking another thing with a woman.