Chapter Fourteen
Chase
I hadn’t expected this. Out of all the years me and Taylor had been apart, I just assumed she lived the kind of life I had. Parties. Drinking. Fun. Sex.
She wasn’t supposed to be a fucking virgin.
I shouldn’t be the guy who took her virginity.
I pulled back; sweat rolled down my forehead and into my eyes, stinging and blurring my vision. She lay beneath me, breathing heavily, cheeks flushed. She looked absolutely gorgeous, and 100 percent mine. I took a deep breath, pulling my thoughts together before I said another word to her, or messed anything up worse than I already had. Despite the fact that I hadn’t realized I was her first, I was her first, and everything I did from this point on would shape her first experience with a man.
No pressure or anything.
Jesus.
She shifted beneath me. Her tight body squeezed my throbbing cock, and it felt too damn good for her to be doing shit like that.
“Stay still,” I demanded through clenched teeth. “Don’t move.”
She froze, eyes wide. “Why not?”
“Because I said so,” I gritted out.
Jesus.
Her chest rose and fell rapidly, and I couldn’t look away from her tits. I now knew that they fit into my hand perfectly, and her pink nipples were hard and begging for me to close my mouth around one of them. I didn’t move, though.
Hesitating, she licked her lips, then asked: “Did I do something wrong? Did I hurt you?”
I’d just fucking barged into her with a battering ram when she’d never had sex before, and she was worried she’d hurt me? How typically Taylor. “No. I’m the one who hurt you. You should have told me…”
She shifted beneath me. Son of a bitch. “I didn’t think you’d be able to tell.”
“I felt it,” I muttered. “Does it still hurt?”
She lifted her hips, wincing slightly. “Not really. It just feels…different.”
“Do you want me to stop?” I asked, wanting to die because if she said yes—
“No.” She shook her head and gripped my arms. “Don’t you dare.”
“Thank God,” I whispered.
This was her first time. I had to do my best to make it memorable.
Slowly, gently, I moved inside her.
She gasped, tightening her hold on my biceps. “Oooh.”
Okay. She liked that. Good.
Clenching my jaw, I readjusted my weight on my hands, keeping myself from touching her completely in case she needed room to breathe. Shit, I didn’t know how to do this. I had never been anyone’s first for anything.
“I’m going to take it slow now.” Like I should have in the first place. “Let me know if you need me to stop, okay?”
She nodded, skimming her fingers over my back. Her touch was soft. Teasing. “Okay.”
Lowering my head, I pressed my mouth to hers, tasting her as I pulled out, and slowly thrust back inside her. Her walls squeezed me tight, making it harder to go slow, but so help me God, I would keep my pace the same.
She moaned into my mouth, closing her legs around my hips and holding on tightly. Feeling her holding on to me like that, closing her body around mine in every way, made my heart quicken and my blood heat. I was her first. Her only. Her choice.
It wouldn’t be something I took for granted.
Ever.
I cupped her face, softening my mouth on hers and taking the time to seduce her properly. I might be a little late in my gentleness, but she deserved it. She deserved more.
“Taylor…” I whispered against her lips, running my knuckles down her cheek. Her eyes had closed at some point, and her long lashes cast shadows over her pale cheeks. I couldn’t look away. I’d never forget this. Never forget that she had trusted me to be her first.
The twist in my chest was more ruthless now, making it harder to breathe. I kissed her again, worshiping her body. She was my goddess, and I was her faithful servant, and I wouldn’t stop until she was completely satisfied. I would do anything, sacrifice anything, to give her what she wanted.
I could tell she was close by the way she clung to me, gasping for breath with each move she made. Sliding my hand between our bodies, I pressed my fingers against her, swirling in circles as I moved inside her. Sweat rolled down my face, and my whole body ached with the effort it took to hold back, but I refused to hurt her again.
Gasping, she broke off the kiss and cupped my face. “Chase.”
“Yeah?” I asked, freezing immediately.
“Harder.”
I hesitated. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
Her bare skin against mine was heaven and hell, all wrapped into one. “Stop holding back, Chase. I’m here. I’m yours. Take me.”
That hold on self-control I had?
Yeah, it snapped like a broken rubber band.
Growling low in my throat, I closed my arms around her, repositioned my hold, and did as asked. I gave her all of me.
When she orgasmed, I moved inside her once, twice, and then bam, I was right there with her, trembling and shaken and lost as hell in her arms.
I’d fucked other girls. Made out with a lot, too.
But never, ever, had I felt like this.
Lost. Found. Confused. Enlightened.
All because of Taylor, and what we’d done.
She shifted beneath me, groaning and running her hands down my spine gently. Even that soft touch, the brush of her fingers, was too much for me to handle after that. I buried my face in her neck and inhaled deeply. “Wow. Is it always like that?”
I swallowed hard, torn between honesty, and the fear of being honest and what that might mean. But she deserved the best, so I ignored my fear and boldly clasped onto honesty, all the while hoping it didn’t screw me over in the end. “It’s never been like that for me before.”
She blinked up at me, her forehead wrinkling slightly. “Is that a bad thing, or good?”
“I don’t know,” I answered honestly.
She said nothing, biting down on her lip.
Now she was probably as confused as I was.
Pushing her hair off her damp cheek, I tried to find the words to explain the way she made me feel, without coming on too strong. This was new, this dynamic between us. “It’s not bad in a way that the sex was bad or anything. It’s possibly bad because that was the best damn sex I’ve ever had in my life, and that scares the hell out of me.”
Her cheeks flushed, and a small smile lit up her face. “The best?”
“By far,” I agreed, kissing her gently. I couldn’t resist it, with her underneath me like that, looking up at me with her bright blue eyes. “I meant what I said.”
“And that scares you?” she asked breathlessly.
“Absolutely,” I said immediately. “Even more than clowns—and you know how much I hate those assholes with their big red noses and creepy makeup.”
She choked on a laugh.
Since I was still buried inside her, this had an unwanted effect on me. My cock hardened, and I forced myself to calm down. This had been her first time, chances were that she was sore, and the last thing she needed from me was an attempt at round two.
Smiling, she closed the distance between us and kissed me. It was soft. Sweet. Short. When she pulled back, she was still smiling. I did that. I made her smile. It was a powerful, heady feeling. In this moment, with her naked in my bed and smiling at me with glowing blue eyes, I made a vow. It would be my mission to make her smile as much as possible, from this moment on, for as long as I lived.
It was a vow I wouldn’t break.
She toyed with my hair. “So now what happens?”
“Something that should have happened long ago,” I said, kissing the tip of her nose. “Taylor Selmer, will you by my girl?”
Her eyes widened. “Seriously?”
“Seriously.”
“Like you even had to ask,” she said, her eyes filling with tears as she kissed me again, holding on to me and not letting go.
I broke off the kiss, smiling because I couldn’t help it. After months of fumbling around, feeling like a failure, right now, I felt like a goddamn winner.
Like I could do anything.
Be anything.
“On one condition,” she added.
I tensed. “What?”
“You throw yourself into life again. No silence. No keeping your head down in class. No avoiding your sling, or pretending like you don’t have a chance to get better. I want you to raise your hand in class when you know the answer. To say hi back to the people who say hi to you. To show no fear.” She locked eyes with me, holding her breath. I could tell it took a lot for her to ask these things, because maybe she was terrified I’d walk. “If you want to try with me, you have to try with everything.”
I stared at her, speechless.
She was asking a lot of me, and yet…she really wasn’t.
For months now, I’d walked around in a daze, fully cocooned in my armor in case some asshole took another stab at me. I’d been living half a life, terrified if I took any chances again that I might lose something else, like I’d lost Joey and my football career.
Letting out a shuttering breath, I pulled her close, hugging her. “All right. We have a deal.”