Chapter Eighteen
Chase
Wincing, I rolled my shoulder as I left the doc’s office, frowning because it hurt like a son of a bitch. Every time I came here, he pushed me a little harder. And every time I came here, I hurt a little bit more. It was all part of the process, doc said.
I was trying to believe in him.
Just like I was trying to believe Taylor wasn’t acting weird. Ever since opening up to her about my fears the other week, she’d been off. I tried not to let it bother me, tried not to overthink it when she was probably just busy cramming for school, but the thing was, I was fucking crazy about her, and I was starting to think that to her I was just a means to an end…aka a diploma from Villanova.
My phone rang, and I sighed, answering without looking. “Hello, Father.”
“Another appointment?” he immediately asked.
“Twice a week.” I walked up to my car, unlocking it. “I told you that last time you called me.”
“How is it going?” he asked after a moment’s hesitation.
“Good,” I said, taken aback that he’d actually asked me that. “Doc isn’t sure if I’ll ever get back in the game, but my shoulder is gaining more mobility.”
My dad was silent.
So was I.
Awkward.
“No meds?” he finally asked.
I sighed. “I don’t need any meds.”
“I know that,” he retorted.
“Good.”
I slid into my seat.
After a while: “Still hanging around that Taylor girl?”
“Yeah.” I gritted my teeth. “We study together a lot.” I didn’t know what Taylor had told him, or if I was supposed to know why she was really at Villanova, so I left it at that this time. It occurred to me after I spoke last time that I might have fucked things up for her, and I didn’t want to risk doing so twice. Even if she was only with me for her job, I would do everything in my power to protect her from my father. She wouldn’t be losing her tuition because of me. “My grades are up, too.”
“Good.” He took a breath. “If you keep it up, when you graduate, you can take over here when I retire. Good things come to those who work hard.”
Oh, Jesus. Nothing made me want to fail harder than that.
“I have to go. Keep up the good work, son,” he said, pride in his voice for the first time since I’d crashed my car.
He hung up.
Father had it all planned out.
In his mind, if I wasn’t playing ball, I was taking over the company, and there were no other options. If I wasn’t living my dream, then I was falling in line with his. Being a good little Maxwell heir. Not letting him down.
To be honest, I’d rather go back to being a screwup.
I was better at letting people down than making them proud.
Dropping my head back against the seat, I closed my eyes, my hands resting on the wheel. After an indeterminate amount of time, three knocks sounded on my window. I lurched upright, uncertain if I’d fallen asleep or not, and sat up straight. Turning my head, I half expected it to be the doc telling me to stop sleeping in his damn parking lot, but it wasn’t.
I wished it was.
Amanda waved at me through the glass, smiling cheerily.
I blinked back at her. What the—?
“Hey,” she mouthed.
I opened the door, turning and resting my feet on the side of my car. “Oh. Hey, Amanda. What’s up?”
“Not much.” She pointed at the office building behind us—the same one my doc was in. “Dentist appointment. You?”
“Uh…” I laughed uneasily. “Same.”
“That’s funny, I didn’t see you in there.”
I said nothing.
After a short silence, she smiled again and played with her hair, twirling it around her finger. “Taylor isn’t with you?”
“At the dentist? No.” I asked slowly, cocking a brow. “Is Sean with you?”
Sean was her current man. He was a prick. “N-No. I took the bus.”
“Why not drive?”
“Daddy took my car to the shop. It was making funny noises.” She laughed. “At least, I think it was. Sean said so.”
I rubbed the back of my neck. “Gotcha.”
“Anyway…” She lifted a foot and toed the pavement. “It was nice seeing you at the party the other week.”
“It won’t be happening again.”
She cocked her head. “Why not?”
“That’s not my scene anymore, and not my crowd.” I shrugged. “I don’t like parties nowadays.”
She bit her lip. “You can’t close yourself off to the world forever.”
“I’m not,” I answered honestly for the first time. “I have friends. We hang out all the time. No games. No assholes. No fighting for popularity, or for the title of big man on campus. Just people chilling together by choice. It’s so simple it’s kind of fucking ridiculous. It took me way too long to realize that the kind of people I hung out with before weren’t really friends at all.” When she glanced down, I quickly added, “Present company excluded, of course.”
She lifted her head, still looking sad. “No, not really. I should have stayed beside you when…when it all happened.”
“I told you not to,” I pointed out.
“But I shouldn’t have listened.” She bit her lip again. “I should have fought for us.”
To be honest, there had been nothing to fight for.
We’d been together, and I’d liked her, but it hadn’t been love. We would have broken up eventually, even if the accident never happened, but I didn’t want to be an asshole and point that out, so instead I said, “You did. You tried. I wasn’t ready to be with someone then, after all that.”
She nodded. “But you are now?”
“Yeah.”
I smiled as I thought of how Taylor had lain in my arms last night, tracing shapes on my bare chest as we talked about our futures. She was focused on school right now, and graduating, while I had talked about what came after. More and more, I was leaning toward doing some sort of military or police work, especially after my run-in with that cop from the night of my nightmare.
After all I’d done, after all I’d seen, I really wanted to make a fucking difference in this world, a good one. If not on the field, with kids chanting my name and wearing my number, then maybe leaving my mark on the world in a quieter way—which might be even better than being a star quarterback.
Father might think I’d fall in line and do as I was told, but he was wrong. I wasn’t his puppet he got to pull on whenever he wanted. I had dreams of my own. Goals of my own.
If he didn’t like them, and he cut me off, then so be it…
The risk was worth the reward.
“Well, I guess I’ll get going.” She pointed over her shoulder. “Bus will be here in ten minutes.”
“You want a ride back?” I asked without thinking.
She stopped walking away backward. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah. I mean, why not?” I turned my body back inside the car. “If Sean wouldn’t mind?”
“I don’t care if he does,” she chirped, walking around to the passenger side. “Thanks, Chase. I appreciate it.”
“Sure thing,” I said, closing my door and starting my car.
As she buckled in, I slid into reverse and patiently waited. As soon as her belt clicked, I started backing up.
“How’s your dad?” she asked.
“The same as always.”
“Of course,” she said, rolling her eyes.
“Your parents?” I asked politely.
“Same.”
I nodded.
“How did you and Taylor meet?” she asked.
I smiled, thinking of how cute she was when we first started playing together. We’d been children, six and eight. I’d been running through the halls with my toy plane, because Father wasn’t home to yell at me, and I’d ventured into the back halls where the employees of the house lived and worked. When I rounded the corner, I found the prettiest girl I’d ever seen sitting on the floor, a tea set all laid out for her and a teddy bear.
I’d stopped, staring at her, and she’d looked at me. Her pigtails and bright blue eyes had pulled me in, and she’d been wearing a pink dress with a bow.
When I walked up to her, she took one look at my clothes, pressed her mouth together, and said, “Chase?”
I’d been amazed that she knew my name, and I’d immediately dropped my plane and asked if I could have some tea. She’d told me no, that the party was full, and I’d been hooked. Also, I’d been jealous of a fucking teddy bear, because she liked him better than me. I still hated that damn Mister Fluffybottom.
“Chase?” Amanda asked, laughing nervously.
“Huh?”
“You went away for a second,” she said, tucking her hair behind her ear. “I asked how you and Taylor met.”
“Oh right.” I turned left at the first light. “Her parents work for mine.”
“Oh, at Maxwell—?”
“No,” I cut in. “Like, her parents are in my house. Her mother is the chef, and her father runs the house. We don’t call him the butler because who the hell has a butler nowadays, but yeah, he’s the butler.”
She choked on a laugh. “You’re kidding, right?”
“No, he’s the butler.”
“I meant about her being a servant’s kid,” she said, still laughing. “There’s no way you’re dating a servant’s kid. Not Chase Maxwell.”
I frowned, not liking her snobby tone. This was exactly the kind of attitude I was trying to separate myself from. “Don’t call her that.”
She stopped laughing right away. “Oh. That, uh…I mean, uh, that’s cool.”
“Amanda.”
She waved a hand. “No, it is. I’m glad she’s bettering herself, and all that.”
“She doesn’t need to better herself. She’s fine the way she is.” I tightened my grip on the wheel, waiting to turn right and watching traffic. “I’ve known her almost my whole life, and she’s the best person I know.”
She held her hands up. “I didn’t say she wasn’t.”
“You didn’t need to.”
Shaking her head, she shifted in her seat, facing me. “It’s just…I know your dad, and I can’t imagine him being okay with this. Does he know?”
“No, and it’s none of his damn business.”
She let out one short laugh. “I don’t think he’ll agree. He has plans for you, and if you’re not playing football—”
“Who says I won’t be?” I asked, cutting her off.
She closed her mouth, hesitating. “Well, your arm…”
“It doesn’t matter.” I turned into the school parking lot. “Even if I’m not playing the game, it doesn’t mean his plans for me will happen. I don’t have to marry a suitable girl and be his bitch. I can do what I want. Be what I want.”
She said nothing.
Just stared straight ahead.
I pulled into my spot, sliding the car into park. When I unbuckled my seat belt, she rested her hand on mine. “Chase…”
“Yeah?”
“I want you to be happy, and I don’t think you’re going to be happy with a servant’s daughter.”
I stiffened. “Amanda—”
“Hear me out. Your father will disown you. He will never accept this.”
Did she think I didn’t know my father, and the way his brain worked? Did she seriously think she knew him better than me? “I don’t give a fuck.”
“You say that, but you will.” She let go of me. “Taylor’s great. She’s fun. She’s sweet. I like her a lot. But she’s not the forever type of girl. She’s the college girl.”
I gritted my teeth, staring at her. “Let me guess. You’re the forever type of girl?”
“Well, I mean…” She tucked her hair behind her ear and smiled at me, completely misreading my question. “Yeah, I guess so. Your parents loved me. If we were together, your trust fund would be safe, you could work for your dad, everyone would win. No one would lose anything.”
Except me. I’d lose the woman who brought me back to life and made me want to live again. But no one gave a damn about that, right? “I’m with Taylor.”
She shrugged. “That’s okay. I happen to like her.”
“And yet you’re trying to take her boyfriend…”
“No, I’m not.” She seemed like she really believed that, which baffled me. Girls made no sense. “Be with her. Treat her well. When you two are done, I’ll still be here.”
Since when did she think we were meant to be together forever? This whole thing had come out of nowhere, and I wasn’t sure what to think of it. “Amanda…you don’t want to be with me. Not really.”
“But I do.” She smiled, leaning in and kissing my cheek. “I love you, Chase.”
I said nothing. Just blinked.
“I’ll always love you,” she added into my silence.
Still, I said nothing.
I’d been thinking about those three little words for a week now, and what they meant, but when I heard them spoken out loud…they were from the wrong girl.
She patted my cheek where she’d kissed it, and then got out of my car like she hadn’t just dropped a bomb on my head and then smiled over it.