Chapter Four
Chase
I read the words on the page for the millionth time, but no matter how many times or how many ways I tried to process them, it never worked. All I could think about was the girl across the desk from me, and what she’d said earlier. When she implied I couldn’t get a girl, my first urge had been to pull her in my arms and kiss her, because she’d made me so angry I forgot all the reasons I shouldn’t.
But then I remembered them, and that she didn’t even want me to kiss her, so I’d reined in all that anger and tried to act as if I didn’t give a damn what she thought about me. I did. I do. And the fact that she thought I couldn’t get a girl—including her—sat so damn wrong in the bottom of my stomach.
I didn’t want to get her.
And yet knowing she thought that I couldn’t…
Fuck that. And fuck this.
The main reason I was going along with this whole mess was to help her get her education, and in the process, get my one-way ticket out of here, but sometimes I wondered if she was really worth all the trouble. If I shouldn’t just tell her to screw off and go bother someone else who didn’t have as much history with her as me.
I was enough of a dick now that I could easily prove how much she wanted me, then laugh in her face as I walked away from her. I wasn’t blind. I saw the way she looked at me when she thought I wasn’t paying attention.
She wanted me. Bad.
Maybe even as much as I’d once wanted her.
Since that time as children, I’d been spit on. Cursed. Hated. Punched. Kicked while I was down. I’d been through hell and back.
But the worst thing that I’d endured yet was knowing if I was dick enough to cross the line we’d both established between us, I could finally have Taylor as mine…
And doing absolutely nothing about it.
She set the book down, sighing. “Done.”
“Me, too,” I said immediately, shutting the book.
“Funny, you didn’t turn the page at all,” she said slowly, pursing her lips.
Fuck. “That’s because I was rereading the first part. It’s what I had the most trouble with.”
She nodded. “Okay. Do you get it now?”
“Yeah. I get it.” I cleared my throat. “You?”
She cocked her head. She looked so adorable when she did that. Did she know how cute it looked? Was that why she did it? “Yeah.”
“Good,” I said lamely, tearing my eyes from her face. “Where the hell is that pizza?”
“Right? Are they hunting down the cow for the meatball?”
I rubbed the back of my neck. “I, uh, didn’t get meatball.”
“What?” She stood, placing her hands on the book. “But that’s your favorite.”
“It was my favorite six or seven years ago.”
She huffed. “What’s your favorite now?”
“Pepperoni and extra cheese.”
She nodded like I’d just imparted a trade secret of Apple. “Mm-hm. Okay. I might be able to work with that.”
This lighter side of her, where she wasn’t angry with me, was weird. And attractive. Of course, the second I thought of why she was acting this way, I stiffened. I’d forgotten to be a dick, and just kind of let myself be…me. What had I been thinking?
There was only one way for this to work, and it included keeping my damn hands to myself and keeping her firmly behind enemy lines where she belonged…with him.
“So glad,” I said drily.
She blinked. “I’m sure.”
“So now that you’re finally caught up, can you explain it to me in layman’s terms? I think I get it, but I want to be sure before I do the assignment.”
She started talking about trade values and marketing plans, and I did my best to pay attention, but to be honest I couldn’t stop staring at her mouth. She’d put on lipstick today, and it was a bright pink color that popped against her pale skin. It was a little lighter than her shirt, which was so ridiculously large on her that it reminded me of what I’d been upset about earlier—her ability to afford food and the resulting conversation.
“What did you mean earlier, when you said you were tired?” I cut in.
She blinked, tipping her head slightly. “Huh?”
“You said you were tired.”
Biting down on her lip, she gave a little laugh. “I think it’s pretty self-explanatory, don’t you?”
“Not really.” I leaned back in my chair and crossed a leg over my knee. “Is it too much? Helping me and yourself?”
She hesitated. That was all the answer I needed. “No, I—”
“If you need to call this off—”
She stood, shaking slightly. Her cheeks paled. “I do not need to call it off. I’m fine. We’re fine. It’s fine.”
It occurred to me, then, that she thought I was insinuating we should quit and she should go home. That wasn’t what I’d meant at all. I was simply saying we could take a step back so she would have time to focus on her own studies, and maybe actually eat and sleep once in a while. But to admit that was to be nice, and I wasn’t supposed to be nice.
Not to her.
“I am capable of this job, and college, and everything that comes with it,” she said, coming around to my side of the desk. She perched her ass on the edge, her thigh touching my knee. “I’m really sorry I wasn’t ready tonight. Please don’t tell your dad.”
My chest hollowed out. She actually thought I’d try and get her fired. Guess I’d done too good of a job being an asshole, huh? “Taylor—”
“I swear it won’t happen again.” She rested her hand on my thigh, locking eyes with me and begging me without actually doing so. The way she looked at me, like I held her fate in my hands, hit me like a fucking brick. Especially since we were both fully aware I did. “Next time I’ll be more prepared, I promise.”
I shouldn’t say anything. I should let her think I was on the verge of firing her, that I was that much of a prick. But something in her eyes… I sat up straight and cupped her cheeks, staring into those blue depths. “Taylor.”
She sucked in a breath. “Yeah?”
My fingers on her flexed, and for a second, just a second, I thought about it—about kissing her and dropping this facade that I didn’t like her and didn’t want her. I even leaned in, and she closed her eyes, parting her lips as I inched toward her, hungry to find out what she tasted like before I lost my chance.
“Chase,” she breathed, curling a hand into my shirt and urging me closer.
It was all the encouragement I needed. Eagerly, I closed the distance between us, finally able to admit I wanted her more than I’d ever wanted anything else in my life. One more second and our mouths would be—
Knock, knock, knock. “Pizza delivery.”
“Wha…?” I froze, my heart pounding and my breath coming harsh. “Shit.”
Fuuuuck. That had been bad.
Really bad.
She groaned and covered her face as she stumbled backward. Stalking to the door, I ripped it open, shoved the cash at the wide-eyed guy, took the pizza, and slammed the door shut. Holding on to the pizza box like a shield, I took a breath. Time to play this off. Question was: should I go the dickhead route, or be honest with her for once?
She pressed a hand to her chest and didn’t quite meet my eyes. “What was that? A test?”
A test? A test of what? Oh. Right. I’d told her I could prove that she wanted me, and…well, I kind of had, hadn’t I? She’d given me the perfect play. That would be the dickhead road—a road I travelled more than any other. I could tell her that, yes, it had been a test. And she’d failed. But did I want to be that guy? Could I be that guy? If it meant keeping her at arm’s distance, maybe I had to be. “And if it was?”
She clutched her hands tightly in front of her. She hadn’t looked at me yet. Not even once. Her cheeks held a hue of pink to them, and she bit down on her lip. “Then I guess you’re even more of an asshole than I originally thought.”
I forced myself to shrug and act as if I didn’t give a damn what she thought about me. “You act as if this is a surprise. That’s how this whole thing started—with you calling me a jerk. Are you really shocked I proved you right?”
“I wanted to be wrong.” She finally looked up at me, her expression filled with such utter disappointment that it hurt. “We’ll both just move on and forget this ever happened…because it’s never gonna happen. It was just a moment of stupidity for me.”
Forget how close I’d gotten to finally finding out how good she tasted? Yeah. Sure. I’d go ahead and forget my own name while I was at it. “Forget what?”
“You know what?” She stood there, her back ramrod straight and her head tilted to the side as she studied me. Looking for…what? I had no idea. “I’m calling bullshit on you. Bull. Shit.”
I cocked a brow. We used to play that game late at night, when our parents were sleeping, and then giggle over using a “bad” word while looking over our shoulders to make sure no one was listening. “You can’t do that. This isn’t a card game.”
“No, but it is a game—and you know it.”
My chest hollowed out. “What do you mean?”
“I mean that you’re playing games with me, and I’m sick of it.” She tossed her hair over her shoulder. “You’re acting like you didn’t want me, but you did. You do. You’re just too scared to admit it.”
I snorted. “I’m not scared of you.”
“No. Of course not.” She met my eyes, not looking even the slightest bit angry at me. This whole teach-her-a-lesson plan of mine had completely backfired. “Just of yourself.”
I stepped back from her. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“Figure it out. You’re a smart guy, despite your attempts to not be.”
I didn’t know what the hell she was trying to say—or how to reply. How could I, when I was so fucking lost? “I…You…”
She stared me down, patiently waiting for me to string two coherent words together. When I failed, she smirked. “While you’re trying to think of a good comeback, I’m gonna go eat and get ready to study. I’m starving.” She headed for the table, her stride laid-back and relaxed. “While you’re thinking, though, you know what really pisses me off about you?”
My jaw ticked. “Please. Tell me before I die of curiosity.”
Her eyes drifted down my body, and her voice lowered to a husky, sexy tone. “You’re trying to act as if you didn’t want to kiss me, but you did. I felt it.”
It was on the tip of my tongue to remind her I was a dude and Victoria’s Secret commercials turned us on, but it would have been a lie. Not the commercial part, but the implication that she wasn’t special. She was, and I couldn’t lie about that. She deserved all the best things in life. Things better than me. “If you say so.”
She tilted her nose into the air. “If I say so, what…?”
Jesus, she was like a terrier with a bone.
“I wanted you, damn it.” I dragged a hand through my hair. “I wanted you naked, in my bed, screaming my name. It doesn’t mean that I’m going to fall in love with you or anything, but I was—”
She gasped dramatically. “We couldn’t have that. The whole Maxwell bloodline would be ruined by my non-blue blood.”
“The Maxwell family would be lucky to have you. You’re honest, kind, smart as hell, beautiful, and would do anything in your power to help someone in need,” I said before thinking it through. But, damn it, it was true. “Don’t make fun of yourself in front of me. I don’t fucking like it.”
She did a fake curtsey. “Anything you say, milord. As you wish, milord.”
My mind ran rampant with the anything you say comment. I wish she would kiss me so we could finish what we started, damn it—because I couldn’t kiss her. “Do you have a serious bone in your body?”
“As opposed to being completely uptight and stuffy like you and your father?”
“Yes, exactly.” I rubbed the back of my neck, grimacing at the shaft of pain that shot through my shoulder. Then I realized what I’d said. “Wait. No. I mean—”
She laughed, throwing her head back and everything. “Nope, no take-backs. I totally got you to admit you’re uptight.”
“Yeah, sure. Whatever,” I muttered.
Damn, around her I didn’t know what was up…and what was down. The girl threw me off my game, and I didn’t know what to do about that.
She grinned at me. “Don’t pout too much. But tell me this. Which side of you is the real one?”
I scratched my head. “What do you mean?”
“Which is the real you?” She stepped closer. “The guy who almost kisses me because he wants me? Or the guy who tries to kiss me to teach me a lesson? The nice guy, or the asshole?”
“I’m an asshole with everyone else. I didn’t used to be, but circumstances changed that.” I lifted a shoulder, wanting to be completely honest with her for some reason. “But you almost make me want to be different. Better. And that’s the best answer I have.”
She studied me, not blinking, and I forced myself to stand there, letting her look her fill. Letting her decide who I really was. Maybe she’d figure it out before I could. She was smart like that. “Okay.”
“That’s it?”
“Yeah.” She sat on the chair, tugging her shirt back into place. I wished she’d take it off instead. “Can we call a truce tonight? No tests. No insults. Just two people who used to be friends, hanging out, eating pizza?”
That was a horrible idea. And yet…
I held my hand out to shake on it.
She played with the frayed edge of her shirt, staring at it nervously. I hadn’t noticed it was so well worn. I didn’t think I’d ever owned a shirt long enough for it to fall apart before. Slowly, she extended her hand and slid it into my larger one. Her skin was smooth and warm, and it sent tingles of need piercing through my palm.
“Yes. Truce.”
We shook on it.
She immediately let go, wiping her hand on her jeans.
I let out the breath I’d been holding and sat in the chair beside hers. My leg brushed hers, and I stiffened. I needed her even more than I did before the almost-kiss. Being around her was like sitting next to a ticking bomb. At some point desire, need, and these unwanted emotions would just swallow us both up in a fiery blast.
The question was, would we both be able to walk away intact afterward?
I pulled out a piece and handed it to her. “Sorry, no plates.”
“It’s pizza. Who needs plates?”
Maxwells used plates for everything. I was starting to wish I’d grown up like her instead. I watched as she took a big bite of pizza. After she swallowed, she moaned and licked her lips. My cock sprang back to full attention. Damn it all to hell, the girl could even make eating look sexy. I was so fucking fucked.
I scrambled for something to say that would match her light tone. After all, we’d called a truce. What had we been talking about again? Oh. Right. Plates. Safe enough topic, right? “Plates are so last year.”
“Yeah.” She gave me a weird look and swallowed another bite. “Like Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth’s breakup and then re-engagement.”
I cocked a brow and picked up a piece for me. “I have no idea who the hell those people are. Do I know them?”
“Do you know—?” The righteous look she gave me should have smote me on the spot. It wasn’t until I choked back a laugh that I realized how much I’d missed this. Laughing. Joking around. Just being…well, me. Taylor was showing me I could still be that guy, even with my past. I could still be me. She flopped back in the chair. “Oh my God, you need some serious help.”
“You’re just noticing this about me?” I eyed her, still biting back the smile that wanted to escape. “I thought you were supposed to be the smart one.”
She choked on her bite of pizza. I reached out and pounded on her back, which earned me a glare and a raised middle finger. “Are…you…trying…to…beat…me…to death?”
“Nah. How would I pass my classes if I killed you off?” I loved how her eyes were blue but she had a small ring of hazel surrounding the pupils if you looked close enough. “Besides, you’re the only one who treats me like a real person, or who I can talk to. Why would I want to lose that?”
She swiped her hand over her mouth, watching me the whole time. “It doesn’t have to be that way. You can let other people in, too. You can talk to them.”
As if I hadn’t tried? Did she think I was a hermit by choice? Shrugging like I didn’t care that no one on campus liked me, I said, “Nah, I’m good.”
She finished off her piece of pizza, her eyes latched with mine. “You need to make friends. Everyone needs friends, Chase.”
Yeah. Sure. I’d get right on that. Couldn’t wait for them to tell me all over again how much they hated me. “I’m good with just you, but thanks.”
“You need more than me.” She reached out and clasped my hand. “I’m here for you, but I’m not enough.”
I twisted my lips. “You trying to tell me something, Taylor? You leaving me?”
She rolled her eyes. “No. You’re stuck with me, no matter how much you try to push me away.”
Yeah. Because my father was paying her to stay by my side. We might get along, if I let us, and we might become friends, but deep down there was one reason she was here with me on a Friday night. Because it was her job.
I’d be stupid to ignore that fact.