Chapter 8
Roman was standing in the kitchen the next morning, making coffee when Agnes came in and stopped just inside the doorway, glaring at him.
"You piece of trash! How dare you upset my poor daughter the way you did last night, after everything she has done for you, and you go out on her and cheat on her, having a bastard child with some black woman! You are so damn lucky that she loves you and that she has been loyal to you and stayed around this house, being your wife, cooking and slaving for you while you're off screwing around with other women. She doesn't ask for much from you at all, and what do you give her in return? Grief and pain! I can't stand the sight of you!
“You make me sick to my stomach! She could have done so much better than you, and I've told her that, but she insisted on staying with you and now she's paying the price for it!" She turned and walked over to the table, sat down and lit a cigarette. "You're a bastard yourself, you are," she growled at him.
He shook his head and took his coffee out of the kitchen and into his office. He wasn't seated in the room five minutes when Denise came in all smiles and nerves and sat down across from him.
"I'm willing to forgive you for last night. You were awful to me, but I am still trying to work on fixing our marriage, and I think if you apologize to me, then we can move forward and forget the whole nasty business ever happened," she said sweetly, looking at him with a patient gaze.
Roman shook his head slightly. "Apologize to you? Are you serious?"
She slapped her hands down on her thighs. "Well alright fine, we were both fighting. I'll apologize if you will."
He just stared at her. He was sure she must have lost her mind. He didn't however, wish to deal with her if she was going to be nasty to him, so he took a deep breath and sighed. "Alright, I apologize for fighting with you last night."
"And for yelling at me," she added.
Roman closed his eyes and drew in a breath for patience. "Alright, and for yelling at you as well."
"Good. Now that's settled, we can move forward. See, it's much easier when you just admit that you were wrong and then let it go," she smiled smugly.
He sighed heavily and looked at her in all seriousness. "Listen. Emma is coming over today, and I don't want you to make anything difficult for her or me, and I want you to be polite to Cami. If I can be polite to your mother, you can do the same favor for me and be polite to Cami."
Denise lowered her eyes at him. "But my mother is family. Cami is just a whore who screwed you in a one night stand."
Roman stood straight up at his desk. "Get out of my office right now. Out!" he shouted, pointing to the door. "And I don't want you around when Emma and Cami get here."
Denise stood up slowly and straightened her dress and then waltzed out of the office without even a glance at Roman.
That afternoon, when Cami rang the doorbell, she was greeted by Denise who stepped through the door to the front porch.
"Well, hello," Denise said shortly. "You're welcome to stay out here, and we can just take the baby from you here. There's no need for you to come inside our family home."
Cami stared at her in shock. She couldn't believe that Denise could be so rude. Denise looked down at Emma in her car seat and her face clinched as if she was looking at a disgusting bug. "You can leave her there on the step. We'll take her in."
Cami looked at Denise with a warning glare. "I'm not leaving my daughter on your doorstep. Where's Roman?" she asked insistently.
Denise shrugged. "Who knows? Maybe he's out screwing some other whore to make another kid."
Cami was just about to turn around and leave when Roman appeared at the door and pushed past Denise. "I'm sorry, I was coming from the other end of the house." He smiled at Cami and she could see that he had been having a rough day. Her heart went out to him, and she wanted to hug him, but she knew with Denise standing right there, she shouldn't get close to Roman at all.
He walked straight toward her and wrapped his arms around her in a big hug. She paused a moment and then realizing that he probably needed the hug more than he showed it, she reached her arms around him and hugged him back for a long moment, and then let him go. She didn't want him to have trouble later.
"How are you doing?" she asked, hoping for a positive answer.
He shook his head and looked away from her. "I'm alright," he said, shrugging.
She knew he wasn't being honest with her, and she also knew that this was no place to try to talk to him.
"Well, someone is excited to see you!" she said, hoisting the car seat up and handing his daughter to him. Emma squealed and grinned, reaching for Roman, and an enormous smile spread over his face. "You are exactly what I needed today!" he told her, leaning in and kissing her cheek.
"What time will you be picking her up?" he asked, looking back at Cami.
She tilted her head, "Whatever works for you is fine." She smiled at him.
"Why don't I keep her until after dinner?" he asked, with a hopeful look.
Cami nodded. "That sounds great."
"Are you leaving that bastard child here with us? What the hell are you bringing it in here for? I don't want that kid in this house!" Agnes stood at the doorway screaming out at them.
Cami's jaw fell open and she stared at the bitter old woman in the doorway.
Roman closed his eyes and bit his tongue for a moment, and then looked at Cami.
"That's my mother-in-law. That's Agnes." He turned and looked at her over his shoulder and she flipped him off and then went back into the house, slamming the door behind her.
"Oh my God," Cami said quietly.
"Don't you say anything about my mother!" Denise demanded angrily.
Roman turned to look at her and shook his head. "You know what? That's it."
He turned and looked back at Cami. "What were you going to do with your afternoon?" he asked in a voice strained to stay calm.
Cami smiled a bit. "I was going to go shopping and then go to the beach. Would you like to come with me? We can make a family outing out of it?"
Roman nodded. "I'd like nothing better. Put Emma back in the car. I'll get my things and be right back out here."
Cami nodded and took the baby from him, and he turned and headed back up the stairs with Denise hot on his trail.
As soon as the door closed, she growled at him, "Just what do you think you're doing taking off with her like that? I told you I didn't want you doing that! I told you that you could spend time with that kid here at the house, not out with her mother!"
He wheeled on her swiftly and stopped her in her tracks, almost making her crash into his chest. "I'm spending time with my daughter in a positive environment rather than in a hostile one. Do you think I want my daughter in here with your hateful mother?
“No chance. It's bad enough she'd have to be around you, but your mother just drew the line. I'm going to visit my daughter and if her mother just so happens to be there, then so what! That's too bad. If you wanted her here, you should have made her feel welcome."
Denise gasped in anger. "I was making her feel welcome!"
"Save it, Denise." Roman snapped, not even looking at her as he turned and walked to his office. He picked up his wallet and phone and started for the door without another word or even a backward glance, and Denise watched him go with deeply angry eyes.
Roman walked out of the house and got into Cami's car. When he closed the door, she put her car in drive and pulled away from the house without saying anything. He rubbed his hand over his forehead and sighed.
"I'm so sorry about that,” he said, feeling miserable about it. "Neither of them had any right at all to speak to you the way they did. I'm not making excuses for either of them, but both of them went way beyond their limits -- or at least mine."
Cami just shook her head. "I understand that it's been a hard transition for all of you. They are probably still getting used to the idea. Maybe it won't be that bad next time, now that they know how serious you are about it."
Roman had his suspicions that it would be that way for a while, at least until they got used to the idea of Emma being a permanent part of his family. He shook his head. "Well, it better happen soon,” he said in annoyance.
Cami decided to change the subject. "Well, where are we going today?" She smiled at him and he paused a moment and then gave a little laugh.
"I will let go of the hard moments,” he said with a breath of relief. "Let's go to the park, as you said, and we can do some shopping and then walk along the pier if it's not too crowded. How would that be?" he asked.
She nodded. "That sounds like a nice day out to me."
She took them to Golden Gate Park and they strolled through the lush greenery, pushing Emma in her stroller, laughing and talking, and neither of them could remember a day when they had more fun. They stopped for ice cream and shared bites of the different flavors they chose, and then they were off to the store. Roman told Cami that they stopped for ice-cream first because it's never a good idea to go to the store on an empty stomach.
She laughed at him and he stood there and watched her, feeling her happiness warm and lighten his heart and his mood.
They picked out various groceries and small items for her home that she was just finishing up. She was just in the middle of choosing vegetables for a salad, when she looked up at him and asked, "Would you like to stay for dinner tonight? You were going to keep Emma that long, anyway. You're welcome to stay and have dinner with us if you like."
Roman didn't even have to think about it. "I'd love that! Yes, thank you so much. What shall we have?"
"I was thinking fish, pasta, salad, bread, and chocolate for dessert." She raised an eyebrow at him. "How does that sound?"
"It sounds perfect." He smiled at her and they finished up their shopping and headed to the beach for a stroll down the sidewalk.
He pushed the stroller and she walked next to him, and they talked about all kinds of things, from their childhoods and they way they wanted to raise Emma, to their aspirations and goals for the future.
They made a stopping point and headed back to the car, going past all the small waves that were washing up on the golden sand. She looked at him and bit her lip slightly.
"I'm sorry, I didn't even think for a moment that it might be difficult for you to be by the sea. How are you feeling about that?" she asked him cautiously.
He shrugged. "I love the sea; it feels like home to me and it always has. Nothing could keep me from it, not even the accident that I had. I should have been more careful; I should have checked the weather.
“I'm a better sailor than that. I just had so much on my mind, and I wanted to get out and get some fresh air. I wanted to let go of the stress and anxiety that was bothering me and just... breathe again. Try to think of solutions to the things that were bothering me."
She tilted her head and looked at him. "Did you find any solutions?" she asked him.
He laughed a little and sighed. "Well... yes and no. Part of what was bothering me solved itself, and part of it has been amplified, but time is going to be the only real solver of all the issues in my head. Only time." He smiled at her and motioned to the sea.
"That, though, will always be a part of me, and I will always want to be near it or on it."
Cami nodded and smiled. "I love the sea, too." She blushed a little and looked at him shyly. "I never loved it as much as I did when the two of us were on Captain Heatherwick's boat." She reached the car and put Emma in her car seat, and then stood back up to help Roman put the stroller in the trunk.
"I wish I knew what happened to that boat, though. I could never afford it, but it holds such special memories for me..." She smiled at him and he looked at her thoughtfully. "I would just want to walk through it again, just to remember how incredible it was to be there with you." She almost turned away from him, but he caught her arm and she looked up at him.
"I know who owns it," Roman said, his expression stilled and serious, almost haunted.
Her smile widened in amazement. "You do?" she asked with anticipation. "Do you think we could go see it someday?"
He nodded slowly. "Yes, I'm sure that could be worked out." He looked down at her and saw the excitement in her eyes. "Why would it be so important to you?" he asked softly.
She blinked and turned her head a little. "I've never known a time as good as the one we had on the boat, and that's where my beautiful baby girl was made. It was a very special time for me, a magical weekend, and I'll never forget it, but I've thought many times that it would be amazing to walk back through it at some point and just reminisce about that weekend."
Roman nodded. "I feel exactly the same way about it." He spoke with a soft voice and a tender expression on his face.
She looked at him with enormous excitement. "Are you sure the owner wouldn't mind if I walk through it again?" she asked hopefully.
He shook his head. "I guarantee he won't mind."
Cami giggled happily and climbed into the car. "That's wonderful!"
They drove to her new house and cooked dinner together, playing with the baby and savoring the time they had. Cami knew that she shouldn't enjoy it as anything beyond friendship, but as he moved near her when they were cooking, each time he brushed her arm or touched her back when he was near her, she closed her eyes, she breathed him in and she loved the nearness of him.
She told herself that it was just her hormones from having the baby, and that when she got used to being around him as a friend, it would change and go away. In the meantime, she let herself enjoy being so close to him.
Roman loved spending the time with her; he felt happy and freed, as if he had no problems at all, and no rules, other than to remember that Cami was his friend, and that lingering too long beside her, touching her back or her arm, leaning in to hug her or breathe her in, those were things he could not do, and if he could only remember those rules, then the two of them would be fine. Perhaps it would take time, he thought.
They enjoyed dinner together, and then they put Emma down in her nursery. Roman insisted he would take a taxi home. Their night drew to an end and Cami walked him to the door, her heart light, and her soul blissfully happy.
"That was such a great visit. Thank you so much for it," she said, smiling up at him.
He nodded. "It was the best time I've had in a long time. Thank you." He leaned over and hugged her, holding her close to him for a long moment, and neither one of them wanted to let go of the other.
He finally let his arms fall away from her, and she followed suit, looking up at him with a small smile. He leaned down and kissed her cheek, and as his lips touched her skin, and her scent filled her lungs, he found that he was immersed in her and he did not want to surface from it. He raised his hand to her cheek and lifted his face slightly, so that it was a breath away from her face.
"Cami..." he barely whispered, his heart beginning to pound.
She looked up at him and she knew what she wanted, more than anything, she wanted to feel his lips on hers and his arms around her holding her tightly, but she knew she could not tempt herself with his closeness.
Roman looked down into her warm brown eyes, the same eyes that his sweet baby girl had, and he felt as if he were being drawn in by them, unable to pull himself back. He closed his eyes and his lips brushed hers; just the sheerest of touches, but that brief contact set off a spark in them, and in a moment, his lips were on hers, soft, warm, moving sensually over her mouth as she moaned softly and slid her arms around his back.
Just this once, she told herself. I'll kiss him just this once. It felt like the entire world had fallen away from her and there was nothing in it but the two of them.
He parted her lips with his and his tongue found hers, touching it lightly, trailing along the edge of it, and then caressing it tenderly, kissing her deeply and losing himself in the moment, and in her; in everything about her, from her outward beauty to her inward beauty, from her scent and the feel of her skin to the heat of her body as it pressed against his and he almost lost himself entirely.
His hands canvassed her back, holding her closely to him and then they reached up to run through her hair and touch her neck and her cheeks. He felt his need for her growing stronger and his body began to ache and burn for her.
Cami held fast to him, feeling the electricity from him shooting through her and making her feel completely alive and in need of him. Every place his hands touched her, from her back to her neck and her face, left a heated trail, and burned for more of him, and it was all that she could do to keep it in some kind of check. He grew breathless and panted, his hands sliding around her back to her hips and he pressed her up against the door, holding her tightly to him and their bodies burned for one another.
"Cami," he whispered breathing her in and tasting her skin with his lips and his tongue. "Cami..." Her name faded away on his lips as he realized what he was doing and what he wanted, and he let her go suddenly, stepping back away from her with a heavy gasp.
She looked up at him in surprise and wonder, waiting for him to speak as she tried to catch her breath.
He looked deeply pained, and his heart was full as he shook his head at her. "I can't do this to you... to Emma. I can't do this to myself and Denise. I'm married. I want you so much, but I have other commitments that I have to keep myself to. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen... again..." He looked at her and shook his head. "Please forgive me."
Cami felt her heart aching severely and she knew her Mama had been right. She had to be very careful around him and careful with herself and her emotions.
"I can't keep feeling like this for you, Roman," she whispered back. "This hurts."
He bit his lip and moved to her, taking her in his arms and holding her tightly to him. He rested his cheek on top of her head. "I know that. We can't do it to each other. We really have to mean it when we say that we are going to be friends. We have to make sure that we stick to that." He lifted his head and raised her chin with his finger, looking down into her eyes.
"I don't know what it is about you; you just make me feel so... so good, so complete and whole, like there's nothing missing from me whenever you are around me. I just have to figure out a way to make that work into a friendship," he whispered with sorrow in his voice.
She nodded to him. "It's the same for me, but we can do it, if we try. We'll just have to be really careful not to let things... go this way," she said, looking from his eyes to his lips, and then away from him, angry with herself for wanting him as much as she did.
He leaned close to her face and she drew in her breath and closed her eyes. His lips pressed warm and soft on her forehead, and the chasteness of it stilled her.
"Goodnight, Cami, my beautiful sweet friend,” he said softly, and walked out of the door.
She closed it behind him and rested her forehead against it, where he had kissed her, hoping that the door would somehow cool the heat that was blazing through her. She could not understand how any woman, especially his wife, could possibly turn him away or not want to be with him every single night.
She told herself that she was absolutely going to make a friendship with him work, if not for her own sake, for Emma's sake, because nothing could be more important than that.