Chapter9
Early morning light woke her and she rose from her bed feeling more rested and as though she had greater presence of mind. She showered and reasoned out everything that had been plaguing her, both one way and the other about Brady.
By the time she got out of the shower and got dressed, she had determined that she did indeed wish to talk with him about how she felt. He might have ended their intimate relations, but that hadn’t changed the way that she felt about him. She was still in love with him, and in her heart, love told her that she must be sure he didn’t want her before she gave up on him. She must be sure that he had no interest in her whatsoever, and then she would be free to put him out of her heart and possibly invite someone else in, whether it was David or another man.
Tidying her hair and touching up her makeup, she drew in a deep breath and let it go, heading out of her room and down the long hallway. When she reached the closed doors again, she touched the brass door handle just as she had the night before, but this time she did it with determination. It didn’t matter what had happened on the other side of that door the last time they made love. It didn’t matter that he had told her he didn’t want her and didn’t want any more intimacy with her while Evelyn was in the house. It didn’t matter that he had severed ties between them as lovers.
Charlotte was going to go to him and tell him how she felt, and if he told her he loved her too, she would give him all of her heart. If he told her that he didn’t want her, if he said he had no interest in her, then she would leave him be, and she would see David and let things progress with him. Whatever the reasons he might have for not wanting intimacy with her while Evelyn was living in his home, they didn’t matter. All that mattered was the truth. All that mattered was the answer that lay just behind the door she faced.
She turned the brass knob and walked inside, prepared for any answer, except the one that she got. She stopped dead in her tracks and stared wide eyed. Evelyn sat bolt upright in his bed, tangled in his sheets, nude. Her breasts were bared before Charlotte, and the rest of her would have been as well, if one of the sheets hadn’t been twisted between her legs. Evelyn narrowed her eyes and reached for the sheet, pulling it up to cover her bare breasts.
“What are you doing in here?” She demanded coldly. “Just what do you think you’re doing walking in here without knocking, like you own this home and you can go anywhere you like, especially Brady’s bedroom?
Charlotte’s heart stopped in her chest. It was suddenly and immediately clear to her exactly why Brady hadn’t wanted to continue their intimacy. He had ended it the night before Evelyn came back because he knew he was going to have her back in his bed again, and he didn’t want Charlotte interfering in their romantic life. He had only wanted one last night with her, one last screw with his little part time fling before he went back to the love of his life; his wife.
She was nothing more than a piece of ass to him; just someone good enough to get him off before he threw her away and went for the woman he really wanted. Devastation ripped at her heart and she wanted to fall to her knees and weep right there, but she couldn’t dare let herself in front of Evelyn. Especially not in front of her, the woman who had been so haughty and cold to her, who had instantly stolen Brady away from her. The woman he really wanted. No. Charlotte felt compelled to be the strongest version of herself that she possibly could before that woman.
“I was looking for Brady to talk with him about Abbie. That’s all.” She spoke defiantly, lifting her chin almost in a challenging way.
“Well you don’t need to talk with Brady about Abbie. You can talk with me about her. She is my daughter, after all, and Brady and I are reconciled. We are lovers again, we are back together again. I am the mother of his baby and I am his wife. If you want to talk with him about anything, you can talk with me about it as well, especially if it concerns Abigail.
Charlotte gasped and shook her head. “No…” She spoke in a quiet tone of disbelief. “That can’t… that can’t be!”
Evelyn shot up off of the bed fully nude, reaching for her white silken robe puddled on the floor. She pulled it on and stomped across the floor over to Charlotte, standing right in front of her.
“Well it is, and let me tell you something, missy. I happen to know for a fact that there was something going on between you and my husband. You may have lied to me to try to trick me into believing that nothing was going on, but it was and I know it was.” Her blue eyes flashed and she jammed her hands down on her hips.
“I know he likes his little flings…” She flipped her hand dismissively toward Charlotte, “His little one-night stands and his tramps. You’re nothing to him but a cheap piece of ass. He had no real intentions with you.” Evelyn sneered at her.
The words cut sharply at Charlotte, like a machete going right across her heart, because she knew that they were true. Brady hadn’t had any real intentions with her, that was why it was so easy for him to let go of her the minute Evelyn strutted right back into his life. The woman he really wanted had reappeared, and game time was over with his fun little playmate. He had thrown her to the curb after one last quick fix only hours before his wife walked back into the house. It disgusted Charlotte.
Evelyn glared at her cruelly. “You may have spent some time in here screwing him, but I am his wife and I am home now. He is mine, this bedroom is mine, this bed is mine, and Abigail is mine. You are no longer needed here. I want you to go back down that hall to your little room and pack your things and get the hell out of this house. Now.” Her blue eyes grew razor thin and her voice held an icy edge to it.
Charlotte was stunned. She could not believe what she was hearing. “You can’t-”
“Oh yes, I can. Get your things and get out. Right now.” Evelyn demanded, reaching for the door behind Charlotte and yanking it open. “Thank you for your services, but none of them are needed here any longer.”
Blinking back tears and trying to swallow, she turned away from Evelyn and somehow made her way blindly down the hallway. When she entered her room, she heard Brady’s bedroom door slam, and she pressed her back to her own bedroom door, weeping bitterly as her heart broke inside of her. She had been a fool, all along she had been a fool, and there was nothing for it but to leave and put every single memory of the home and the people in it behind her. She could not afford the heartache that she was dealing with.
It had already cost her too much to be in the house and to love Abbie and Brady as much as she had. It had been beautiful for a little while, but that was long gone, and it was time for her to go. She spent the morning packing up all of her things and then called a taxi minivan. Half an hour later it was waiting for her at the door, and the driver helped her carry out the few boxes that she had. There were only two more than there had been when she had first moved into the house.
The taxi driver pulled away, and she turned and looked behind her as the house began to disappear from view around the bends in the long, curved driveway. So many happy memories, and so many heart wrenching ones. Leaving would let her heal, she told herself. Leaving would make it alright.
She had the driver take her to a hotel in Manhattan, and she spent the afternoon finding a furnished apartment. By that evening, her boxes were moved into it, though none of them were unpacked. She collapsed on her new bed, brokenhearted and with a broken spirit and wept until she was asleep.
***
Early on Sunday morning, Brady walked into his bedroom and set his suitcase down on the floor. He slipped his jacket off and laid it over the armchair in one corner. He loosened his tie and pulled it off, followed by his shirt. Sliding his pants off, he lay those over the chair as well, and headed to bed in his boxers.
Bleary eyed, he pulled back the covers and laid down. No sooner did he close his eyes when they suddenly flew open again. He felt a bare leg slide over his body and a moment later, Evelyn was sitting on top of him with not a stitch of clothing on. He gasped and pushed himself back a little, running into the pillows at the head of the bed.
She pressed her hands to his chest and kissed him there, looking up into his eyes. “Hey baby, you’re finally home. I’ve been waiting for you, keeping your bed warm, keeping myself warm, and here you are, right on time, right when I need you and want you the most.” Her voice was as smooth as black velvet. She slid her hand down into his boxers and wrapped her fingers around him as she moved her bare breasts over his chest.
“Let me give you a proper welcome home…” She grinned at him and leaned up to kiss him, but he pushed her off him and vaulted up out of the bed.
“What in the hell are you doing in here?” He demanded furiously. “I leave home Friday morning for a business trip and come back here this morning to find you in my bed? Naked? Get your clothes on and get the hell out of here!” He raised his voice, reaching down to straighten his boxers as he glared hotly at her.
She pushed herself from the bed and went to him, running her hands over him again. “Baby, don’t push me away. Don’t you remember how good it was before? It was perfect before. We can have that again. Come on. Give in to this, you know you want it. You always wanted it. It’s yours… I’m yours. I’m so sorry about before. Forgive me baby. I need you!” She pleaded, trying to touch him as he pushed her away again and backed up from her.
“No! Now you listen to me, you little tramp! I was good enough to give you a room here so that you could stay in the same house as Abbie to be near her and to spend time with her and get to know her, but that is as far into this home as you are getting. It’s as far as you are ever going to get. You are not going to be my lover, my wife, or anything else to me.
You are my ex, and you are Abbie’s mother, and that is the extent of it. That’s all that you are ever going to be! Now get your clothes on and get the hell out of here, and don’t you dare ever come back into my bedroom again! Do you hear me? Out!” He yanked the door open and stood there, ruddy-faced and furious with her, waiting for her to get her things and leave.
“But baby!” she pleaded, picking up her robe and going to him once more. He would barely look her in the eyes.
“Out! I meant every word I said! You either respect those rules or you can get the hell out of this house and find an attorney to help you fight me for visitation, because if you push me, that’s where I’m taking this!” He slammed the door and left her standing in the hall, gaping at him.
He went back to his bed and lay down, but even as tired as he was from his long business trip, he couldn’t sleep. He couldn’t get Evelyn out of his head. He couldn’t get Charlotte out of his head. The whole thing was a huge mess in his mind, and it aggravated him so much that he pushed himself up out of the bed and pulled on some jeans and a sweater. It was still very early, but not so early that he couldn’t busy himself in the kitchen and distract his mind with cooking. At least that would bring him some peace.
Brady baked muffins and made poached eggs and toast, he baked bacon and cut fresh fruit. He brewed coffee for himself and made a pot of tea for Charlotte. A short while later, Evelyn sauntered into the kitchen and poured herself a cup of coffee.
Brady kept his eyes on the newspaper and didn’t bother to look at her as she prepared a plate of breakfast for herself. When she sat down beside him, he glanced over at her and then looked around and frowned.
“Where’s Charlotte?” He asked, slightly perturbed. “She’s always down here early.”
Evelyn sipped her coffee and popped a strawberry into her mouth, looking over at Brady with a little smile. “She left.”
He blinked and turned to look at her. “She what?”
“She left. She quit.” Evelyn shrugged. “She came to me yesterday and told me about some guy she met, said she was crazy about him because some jerk had just recently broken her heart and she found a new guy to replace him. She wants to be with him instead of being here for some reason. I don’t know why she couldn’t do both, but she said she couldn’t stay, and she left for this hot new guy of hers.”
Brady gasped and felt as if he was going to throw up. His face paled and he stared down at the plate of food in front of him, not seeing any of it, though it was only inches before him. “That can’t be-”
“Oh, it is. She said she was trying to get over some jerk, and I guess she found the guy to do it with. She packed up everything she owned here and left in a taxi. Her room is empty. You can go see for yourself.” Evelyn smiled a bit to herself, but then she looked over at Brady and saw how upset he was, and she frowned.
“What’s the matter with you? Don’t tell me that it bothers you that she’s gone! Don’t tell me you actually care about what she does and whether or not she’s here!” She narrowed her cold eyes at him.
He turned away from her and stood up, keeping his back to her as his heart was pounding inside of his chest, his stomach was churning, and his palms were growing moist and cold.
Evelyn gasped and slammed her hand down on the table. “Don’t tell me you care for that little tramp! Do you? Do you really? Are you interested in her? Is that what this is all about? You have a little crush on the nanny? Oh my god. How cliché! What, were you sleeping with her?”
Brady flipped around and shot her a fiery look. “It’s none of your damn business! Shut the hell up and leave me alone!” He turned and stormed out of the room, leaving her staring open mouthed behind him. Once he was out of ear shot, she began to laugh, and she kept laughing as she reached for her coffee and brought it to her red lips.
***
Charlotte had no interest in unpacking the boxes sitting against the living room wall of her new apartment. She didn’t feel as though she was home, and she knew that no amount of personal touch was going to make it feel like home.
The only thing that she did unpack was her suitcase, hanging her clothes up in the closet of the bedroom, and tucking a few of them into the dresser drawers.
She went to a grocery store and picked up a few bags of groceries. It seemed strange to her. She hadn’t done any grocery shopping since she had lived at Brady’s house. He had had the groceries he wanted delivered to the house weekly, and he had cooked all of the meals. There had been no need to go to a grocery store.
It was as if she was experiencing a surreal trip to a past reality. She bought what she needed for the coming week and left it at that. She called Rita and left a message for her, asking her to call but not telling her any of the news. She didn’t want to leave it on Rita’s voicemail, and she couldn’t bring herself to even speak it aloud. It had all gone wrong. It had all gone terribly wrong, and she didn’t want to talk about it and she didn’t want to think about it. All she wanted to do was to try to find some direction for her life, because every direction that she’d had, except for school, had fallen away and she had been left with nothing.
She focused on her online courses, but they took so little time that she found herself in a vacuum of free time, and it seemed to her as if all of it was going to suffocate her. All of the weeks leading up to then felt as though they might be a dream; as if they hadn’t really happened and she had only imagined them, but then again, they felt more real than anything else in her life had ever felt. She was lost in a sea of confusion and pain, bigger than any ocean on earth, and there seemed to be no safe shore in sight; no reprieve, no lifesaver to stop her from drowning.
Her phone rang, and she looked down to see David’s name. Her heart gave one little extra beat, and she felt her spirits rise slightly, as she answered the phone.
“Hello?” She asked, not sure she wanted to take the call or hear his voice, and not at all sure that wanted to do the opposite and ignore him and keep drowning in sorrow.
“There she is! I’ve been trying to reach you, but I think your phone was off. I left you messages, did you get those?” He asked brightly.
She closed her eyes. “I’m sorry. The phone was off, and I haven’t checked my messages.”
He was quiet a moment. “You sound a bit down, are you alright?”
“I’m here,” she replied, not sure how to answer him. She didn’t want to tell him anything, but she didn’t want to lie, either. “I’m just having a… a difficult day.”
“Well, I’d be glad to make it a better day if you’ll let me take you to dinner. What do you say? I’ve been aching to see you. Please?”
“Okay. That sounds good.” She hesitated. She was going to have to tell him something. “Listen, I’m not over at the Douglas house anymore. I… I left that job. I actually just got a place in the city.”
“Wow… I hope everything went okay with that change. I hope old Brady knows he no longer has a gem of a lady, and I hope he gives you a great reference!” He sounded positive about her departure. “You probably don’t want to talk about that though, so let’s do this. I know a hot little jazz club in the Village. Let’s go have a few drinks and listen to some good music. Right? We’ll have a great time. Come on. What do you say? I’m sure you could use a drink and some good company!”
She smiled a bit more. “Actually, that sounds pretty good.”
“Meet me at Washington Square and the monument at six, I’ll take you to a fantastic little dive I know and we can have dinner, and then we’ll go jazz it up. Okay? See you then?”
She nodded. “Okay, I’ll see you at six. Thank you, David.” She sighed with a little relief, and said goodbye to him. At least there was still some good in her life, even if it was in small, precious amounts.
Charlotte showered and spent some time on her hair and makeup, though not much. She wasn’t trying to impress David, but she didn’t want him to see just how badly she was doing, either. She didn’t want him to suspect just how terribly wrong it had all gone.
At six o’clock that evening, she was walking underneath the great arch in Washington Square, listening to musicians play their songs, when he came up to her and reached his arms out for a big hug.
“Hey! There’s my girl!” He grinned, beaming at her. She wasn’t his girl, but it was nice to hear, especially since she hadn’t been anyone’s girl even when Brady was having sex with her. She was there for nothing more than his carnal pleasure and that was it.
“Hi David.” She smiled at him and he leaned down and kissed her cheek.
“I know, I can’t kiss you on the lips yet, but your cheek is mine!” he winked at her and held his arm out for her to take. She slipped her hand through the crook of it, laughing at him, and they walked away from the park, turning down one street and then another, and then a few more, heading west into Greenwich Village.
He finally stopped at a tiny hole in the wall mom and pop café and stood back holding his hand out. “Did I promise you a true dive, or what? Look at this place! When I make an offer, I deliver!” He boasted, showing off the truly dumpy dive joint he had brought her to. The server gave him a dubious look, and took them to a table in the back; one of the only twelve tables in the whole place.
David leaned forward across the small space between them and spoke quietly. “Not to ruin the outward appearance of this place, but everything on the menu here is good. It’s divine. It’s some of the best in the city. This is how you’ll know I really like you. I don’t share this treasured secret with just anyone; oh no. I only save it for the most special of the special, and that’s you, my dear.
Now, you’re sworn to secrecy, you understand. See, if you share this place with others, they’ll share this place with others, and then before you know it, the whole Internet will know that it exists, and there will be a line around the block to get in the door, and the whole thing will go to the dogs, so: mum’s the word, okay? Promise?” he pleaded sincerely.
“I promise. Unless I get food poisoning. Then I’m telling everyone.” She teased him in return. He considered it and nodded.
“That’s fair. I can accept that amendment.” He winked at her and reached for her hand, bringing it to his lips to kiss it. “I have not been able to stop thinking about you since I saw you drive away the other night. That was way too much time. Listen, I think we could make this eating thing a regularly recurring event. I mean, you need to eat dinner every night, don’t you? So, when you get hungry tomorrow night and I get hungry tomorrow night, we could agree to be hungry in the same place at the same time and have all this same kind of fun two whole nights in a row! What do you say?”
She felt panic rise in her again, just as it had when he had tried to kiss her. “I think we better take it a day at a time.”
He looked slightly disappointed. “A day at a time. Okay. I can do that. You’re giving me a challenge. I like challenges. I live on challenges. They’re good for stamina.” He waggled his eyebrows at her and she laughed at him.
They ordered their drinks and food, and a short while later she had to concede that he had indeed taken her to one of the best kept secrets in the entire city and state of New York.
“We’ll have to come back again.” She told him as they walked out of the restaurant and she wrapped her scarf around her neck and zipped up her windbreaker. “But not tomorrow night.” She shook her head.
He raised his eyebrows hopefully. “But we could go somewhere else tomorrow night, right? That would work, wouldn’t it?”
She bit at her lower lip and looked away from him.
He paused mid-step and reached an arm out to her. “I know, I’m pushing it a little bit. I’m trying too hard with you in too short a time. I’m sorry. I just… I found this amazing girl, and I know a lot of girls who aren’t amazing. I don’t want to slip up and lose you. I can be slow.” He began to slow the pace of his walk, until he was going at a dramatically slow pace, and nearly falling over because of it.
She laughed at him and nudged his arm. “Come on… you can pick it up a little bit. Go a little faster.”
He raised a brow in her direction. “Does that mean I can kiss you when I walk you home tonight?”
Charlotte gave him a sidelong look. “When you walk me home?”
David gave his head a shake. “Now that you’re living in this chaotic and dangerous city, rather than in the safe arms of the countryside, you should know that as a sworn gentleman, I am obligated to walk you home and make sure that you arrive at your door safely. If you want to take advantage of me once we get there, well, who am I to try to stop you.” He gave his head a shake and looked heavenward, and she laughed at him.
They walked a ways and he bought her a hot cup of cocoa as they strolled north along the city streets. Because they were passing the Empire State Building and it hadn’t closed yet, he took her up to the observation deck and held her in his arms as they looked around the city.
“I could kiss you up here to keep you warm, if you’re getting too cold,” he offered gallantly.
Charlotte laughed and shook her head. “Not yet, Romeo.”
“It’s David… Daaaay…. Viiiiiid. David. Romeo was your last boyfriend. I’m the new guy. New and much improved.” He winked at her and took her hand in his. “I kiss better than he does too, I bet.”
They continued north until they made it to her apartment and she found herself standing before her new front door with him.
“Well, this is it.” She said, feeling a bit nervous and a little excited to be there. She hadn’t made up her mind if she would let him kiss her or not, and as she stood there, all she could think of was Brady. David drew near to her, closing his hands around her cheeks, and the closer he got to her, the more her heart hurt for the man that she loved.
David seemed to know instinctively. “Still not yet…?” He asked quietly, gazing into her eyes.
She shook her head and pursed her lips together. “Not yet. I’m sorry.”
He shrugged and kissed one cheek first, and then turned her face and kissed the other cheek. “But I can still kiss these beautiful cheeks.” He smiled sweetly at her. “Tomorrow? Let’s have dinner tomorrow, please?”
“David,” she began uncertainly, “this is all happening pretty fast. I’m still getting to know you.”
“Just so that you know, all of this pushing away that you are doing is only making me want you more. In case you didn’t know that. Kid in a candy store with his hands in his pockets. You’re driving me crazy.” He gave her a half smile, and she knew that he was more serious than joking about it.
She wished in her heart of hearts that Brady felt that way about her, but she knew without a doubt that he didn’t, and never had.
“Please…” David spoke in a low voice, kissing each of her cheeks again and then holding her hands close to his chest, “Please have dinner with me tomorrow.”
Sighing in resignation, she nodded. “Okay. I’ll have dinner with you tomorrow night.” She gave him a smile and leaned up on her toes, kissing his cheek in return. “Thank you, this was a lot of fun.”
“I’m doing my level best, and that’s a fact.” He gave her a warm smile and waited until she was safely locked inside of her apartment before he left.
Try as she might, the golden glow of the fun evening they had shared began to wear off as she sat inside of her lonely, silent apartment. She felt as if she had locked herself inside some kind of box, and there was no life, no home, no happiness to be had in it.
With a sorrow filled heart, she showered and went to bed, wishing that Brady wanted her and loved her, wishing that Abbie was there near her every day, to play with and teach and love. They had become her family, and devastated or not, she missed them terribly.