Chapter5
Abbie and Charlotte grew much closer, playing and learning together every day, exploring parks and even doing a little shopping now and then. Charlotte saw things in Abbie that were a little different than Brady, and they always made her wonder about Abbie’s mother.
She hadn’t ever brought it up to Brady, though it had crossed her mind many times. As things changed between her and Brady, she began to feel more comfortable with him, and one night after they had both put Abbie to bed, she stood with him in the hallway where he had stopped to kiss her.
“Brady… I’ve been curious about something, and I want to ask you about it. I’m not sure it’s my business, but I’m still curious.” She hedged around the real question.
He looked at her passively. “You can ask me anything. What is it?”
“Well, ever since my first day here I’ve noticed that there are no photographs of Abbie’s mother. I never hear you talk about her. I just wondered who she is… or was… and where she is now. Why isn’t there any sign of her around the house?” Charlotte saw his face change almost immediately, growing cold and distant. His eyes and mouth narrowed.
“She is dead.” He said simply. “Do not bring it up to me again. Ever.” He pulled his hands from her arms where he’d been holding her, and he turned sharply, walking down the hallway to his bedroom and closing the door firmly behind him.
Charlotte stared after him as he went down the hallway and frowned somewhat. She couldn’t understand why, if it was simply a death, there were no photographs of the woman anywhere. She realized that things must not have been good between Brady and Abbie’s mother, but it seemed to her that there would at least be a photograph of her in the nursery where Abbie could see it to know who she was. There was nothing. Not anywhere in the whole house. There was also no mention at any time of any other grandparent besides Elaine.
Elaine’s husband had passed on, so Abbie’s grandfather wasn’t around, but there were photographs of him in Brady’s home, yet there was nothing at all of the mother or her side of the family. Not anywhere. It nagged at the back of her mind, and she told herself that she should let it go, but it lingered.
She wished she hadn’t brought it up at all when Brady began keeping a noticeable distance from her immediately following her questions. He didn’t make it too obvious in front of Abbie, but whenever the baby girl wasn’t around, he stayed away from Charlotte.
It bothered her that she had broached a subject that could have that kind of effect on him, affecting them and their new situation, especially when it had nothing to do with her. She lay in her bed alone, night after night, wondering why it bothered him so much, and trying to think of a way that she could undo the rift between them that she had caused.
Instead of moping around worrying about Brady, she turned her attention to Abbie, pouring all of herself into the little girl, giving her lots of attention and love, taking her on outings, teaching her, playing with her, and giving her the kind of loving care that she would have given her own daughter, if she had one.
Her blooming relationship with Abbie did not go unnoticed by Brady. He saw it every day, and Charlotte was aware that he saw it, though she didn’t think on that at all.
Friday came, and Charlotte readied Abbie to go with her grandmother. They placed a few of her necessities into a little pink backpack and went downstairs when Elaine arrived to pick Abbie up. Abbie hugged Charlotte tightly and kissed her.
“I miss you,” she said sweetly, touching Charlotte’s cheek.
“I’ll miss you, too!” Charlotte smiled at her. “I’ll see you on Sunday.”
Abbie turned to go with Elaine, and Charlotte called out to her. “Oh, wait honey, don’t forget Lula!” She picked up the doll from an empty chair in the foyer and Abbie ran to collect her, hugging the doll to her chest.
“Lula!” She snuggled the doll and grinned at Charlotte. “Thank you!”
“You’re welcome, baby.” Charlotte gave her one last hug.
Elaine watched them and smiled wide. “You’re so good with her. Hiring you is one of the best things my son has ever done. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate the good care that you give this little girl. She deserves the best, and you give yourself to her completely. She truly needs you, and you are there for her. Thank you.”
“It’s very much my pleasure.” Charlotte replied, folding her hands together in front of her. She liked Elaine, and she was glad that Elaine thought so much of her. Abbie was her first priority, and she was glad that Elaine and Brady knew it.
They left, and Charlotte went into the kitchen to make herself a cup of tea. She was thinking about Abbie and Brady when she heard the garage door open and close, and she looked up at the clock. Brady was home much earlier than usual. She felt bad for him that he had just missed seeing Abbie off for the weekend.
She frowned, thinking of how hot things had been for them on the island. He’d come to her with his offer, barely able to wait for her to say yes to him, and once she had, he had taken her time and again, but when they had returned to New York, things had cooled off so much that he hadn’t touched her once in the week they had been back. She blinked, realizing that it had just been a week since he had taken them to the island to begin with.
Her thoughts went back to that Monday night in the hallway outside of the nursery; the Monday after their return. He had kissed her, and she had thought that there might well be more than just a kiss, but then she had asked him about Abbie’s mother, and he had turned coldly from her. He had put a distance between them since then that gave her a chill and made her miss him.
Charlotte hadn’t reached out to him; she hadn’t known how. All she knew was that she had crossed some unseen barrier, and that it was enough to make him turn away from her. The punishment for it being that he stayed his hand from her, keeping to himself and giving her so much space that she felt as if she was nearly lost without him. She could not begin to fathom what offense it might have been that had pushed him so far from her. She pondered what it might be about Abbie’s mother’s death that made him recoil so much, but then she considered that it must have hurt him so deeply that he could not bear the pain of hearing or speaking about it, or seeing her image up in the house.
As for the lack of intimacy, it crossed her mind more than once that he might well be done with her for good. Perhaps, she wondered, he had merely had a curious itch, and he scratched it, and it was finished.
She sipped her tea, musing over her thoughts, as he walked into the kitchen. Charlotte turned and looked over her shoulder at him, his suit jacket draped over his shoulder, his shirt unbuttoned slightly, his hair partly disheveled from driving home with the window down and perhaps he had combed his fingers through the large curls once or twice.
“Are you hungry?” She asked, setting her tea down. “I can make something for you.” She knew that he liked to cook, but she thought perhaps it might be nice to be treated to a meal sometimes, and she would be glad to do that for him.
He stared at her with a familiar fire in his green eyes, and in the depths of her belly a fire began to burn warm, growing hotter. Brady made no response. He set his jacket on the island and walked straight to her, taking her face in his hands and covering her mouth with his. She drew in a sharp breath, not expecting his touch or the blazing desire that came with it.
He opened her mouth with his, twisting his tongue around hers, sucking, tasting, kissing her deeply as his hands slid back from her face into her hair. He held her head to his for a long moment, and then his hands slid over her shoulders and back to her waist. Brady pulled her close against him, backing her up against the kitchen counter as he grew hard, pressing himself against her.
With eager hands, he pulled her sundress up, sliding his fingers between her legs, touching her gently at first, and then firmly, slipping his fingertips beneath her panties and into the folds of her wetted skin.
The feel of her made him groan deeply and his mouth left hers, trailing down her neck to the swell of her breasts, kissing and fondling them. His fingers entered her, massaging her and stealing her breath away as she held fast to his solid shoulders. She cried out in pleasure and he moved his mouth to her ear, speaking huskily. “Cum for me… cum for me…” he urged her, and as he spoke the words, she closed her eyes, gasping, trembling, shuddering with the release he had given her.
“I need you. I want you now.” He breathed against her skin, beginning to pull her dress off of her, but then stopping. “No, not here, not like this.”
She looked at him in surprise, fully expecting that he was going to take her right there in the kitchen, but instead he clasped his hand around hers and headed up the stairs with her, and down the long hallway to his bedroom.
Charlotte was amazed. She hadn’t even seen his room before that, not even on a tour of the house, or at any time when she was left alone there. He pushed the door open, not stopping with her until they were standing beside his bed.
The bedroom looked as if it could have been taken straight out of an architecture digest magazine. It was enormous with tall ceilings reaching up more than fifteen feet, windows all along the side facing the back of the property, comfortable furniture around the room, a big bathroom and walk-in closet, and a king-sized bed crowned with an array of pillows.
She only glanced at the room before her attention was stolen back to him, standing before her, kissing her as he pulled her sundress off her, and his own clothes from himself. Lifting her to the bed, he lay with her, holding her and moving his mouth over hers, drifting it along her neck and the tops of her breasts, and as she kissed him and held him, she felt something new and different in the way that he was with her.
There was a tenderness about it that hadn’t been there before, as if his insatiable lust for her had given way to it, and rather than wanting the erotic thrill of sex and the tremendous relief that came with the satisfaction of it, he was seeking something else; something sweeter and more fulfilling, something much more akin to making love. Their union was slower and more time consuming, lasting all of the afternoon as he lingered much longer over every part of her, savoring her and letting her do the same with him.
When at long last they were sated and laid back on the pillows behind them, she made to move, knowing that he would not want to keep her in the bed with him, but as she rose, he reached for her and pulled her back, saying not a word. Instead, he drew her to him, against his chest, and wrapped his arms around her, kissing her shoulder softly. Soon after, they fell asleep together.
Charlotte awoke to find him gazing at her, his green eyes studying her with curiosity and fascination, and something else that she couldn’t quite identify. She gave him a puzzled look, and he answered it with a soft kiss, and then a dozen softer kisses, before his hands cupped and squeezed her breasts, and her waist, her hips and her thighs, and she was already burning for him as he parted her legs and buried himself there in between them.
A blissful smile took over her face as they made love again, clinging to one another, holding fast, kissing, touching tenderly, losing themselves in one another, until they reached their climaxes together.
He left her in the bed and made breakfast for them. She showered and dressed and went downstairs to eat with him. When breakfast was done, he took her back up to his bedroom, and she laughed quietly.
“Again?” she teased him lightly, glad to have as much of him as he wanted to share with her.
“I just can’t seem to get enough of you.” He murmured with a smile. “I don’t want to get enough of you.” He drew back slightly then and looked seriously at her. “Is this too much for you? It has to be right for you, too.” He looked as if he might be holding his breath, waiting for her answer.
She shook her head. “It’s just right for me, too. I’m not tired of this with you. I want this just as much as you do.” She leaned in and kissed him, and he wrapped his arms around her and made love with her again.
They resurfaced at midday and he showered and dressed. “I want to take you out to dinner tonight.” He said, coming back into the room from the bathroom as he buttoned up his shirt and straightened his sleeves.
She blinked in surprise. “Dinner?” She distinctly recalled him saying that he wanted no kind of romance between them, and to her, dinner out together seemed somewhat romantic.
He shrugged and cleared his throat. “Well, just to thank you for all that you’ve done for Abbie and me. She’s gone tonight. Unless you have other plans…” He trailed off and a look of apprehension came over his face. “You don’t have other plans, do you?”
Charlotte shook her head, the loose waves of her hair shifting over her shoulders. “No, I don’t have any plans.”
A smile came back to him, and he brightened. “Good. So, we’ll go have dinner in the city together. I know a great little place in the Village. I’m sure you’ll like it.” He seemed so pleased with himself, and it made her glad to see him that way. It was the happiest she had seen him since she had moved in.
She wore a red dress to dinner, one that was a mixture of elegant and sexy; satin that hugged her body, offering hints of a view of her bosom, while laying at just the right length on her thigh to entice without giving away too much. Her hair was pulled up in loose curls at the back of her head, and she wore the small diamond earrings that her parents had given her.
When she came down the stairs to the kitchen where Brady was waiting for her, she felt a little thrill at the sight of him. He was in a tuxedo, looking every bit the part of James Bond. He turned and watched her descend the stairs, staring at her, his lips parted, seeming to be in awe of her. She gave him a wide smile and took his hand when he offered it to her.
“You looked stunning.” He told her softly, kissing her cheek.
“Thank you.” She replied blissfully.
He drove her into the city, and every light on the horizon seemed to sparkle like a diamond, scintillating almost as if in celebration of their happiness that night, just in being together. Brady took her to a small, hidden place; a speakeasy on Hudson St. in Greenwich Village, and held her hand as they walked through a plain green door tucked into an unremarkable red brick wall.
The restaurant was small but busy, intimate yet fun and lively. There was a little jazz band playing in the courtyard, and they sat at a table set off into a small corner, where the light was low and the closeness was cozy.
They sipped wine and talked about many things, from school and friends, to family and experiences. They talked about movies and music they liked and books they loved to places they wanted to travel to and see someday. It was a delightful surprise to them both to discover that they had far more in common than they had first realized. The minutes turned into hours, and the other guests in the restaurant came and went, and they stayed, taking their time with the meal and with each other, not wanting it to end. As the seats around them began to empty and the jazz band played on, Brady held his hand out to Charlotte and asked her to dance with him. She smiled and got up, walking with him to the courtyard where he took her in his arms and held her close, swaying with her as his lips brushed her cheek. He kissed her, soft and slow, and then tucked her head into the space between his neck and shoulder, dancing through three songs before they went back to their seats again.
Brady didn’t take her from the restaurant until it was nearing closing time, and they knew that they had to go. He took her home, both of them elated with the evening, and he walked her straight to his bedroom, carefully taking her red dress off her, followed by her bra and panties, before laying her back in his bed and making love with her for a long, long while that night.
He wrapped her in his arms as they began to fall asleep, snuggled up close with her, and she watched him silently. She lifted her hand and gently ran her fingers through his hair, tracing the curls and waves, gazing at his face, wondering how on earth she was ever going to be okay, because try as she might to stop it from happening, it had happened. He had made it happen and it couldn’t be stopped or slowed or reversed. It was done.
“I love you.” She whispered, giving him a little smile. “You don’t have to love me back, but I love you.”
***
Sunday midday found Brady in the kitchen with Charlotte, getting ready to make cookies as soon as Abbie came home, and when she did, she was excited to see them both, running to hug them and kiss them.
“How’s my girl?” Brady asked, lifting her up into his arms.
“I’m great daddy! Are you making cookies?” She asked, looking over his shoulder at the bowl, cookie sheet, and ingredients.
“Not without you, we waited for you to come home so you could help us! Do you want to help us?” He asked jovially.
“Yes!” Abbie clapped her hands together. She set Lula on the table and hurried to help Charlotte and Brady, measuring out ingredients and dumping them into the bowl. She helped to spoon the cookies onto the cookie sheet, and they put them in the oven.
Charlotte loved feeling as if she was a part of all of it; a welcome part. It felt to her by then as if they were family, and she treasured it. Brady did his best to stop from giving her flirtatious or heated looks over Abbie’s head, but somehow, he couldn’t seem to stop doing it. He seemed to be trying to keep his distance, but more and more often she found that he was close to her, and then closer, trailing a hand along her back or her hip, touching her hand, or standing so near to her that she could feel the heat from him.
She reminded herself that no matter what it might feel like, it was business, and no matter how she cared for him, he did not care for her the same way. She told herself over and over that she had to keep her heart and her mind separated when it came to him, because if she didn’t, she was going to wind up with a severely broken heart.
Charlotte began to try to keep a little distance from Brady, but it seemed that the more she did that, the more he wanted to be near her, as if he just couldn’t get enough of her and having more of her only made him want more. She thought that she could see him struggling to keep a distance from her as well, as if he was trying to, and not succeeding well at it, but she wasn’t sure. What she was sure of was the fire that had sparked between them and was growing into something much bigger and hotter than either of them had anticipated, especially her.
Rita called her on Wednesday afternoon to catch up with her.
“Did I get you during naptime? I was aiming for naptime.” Rita smiled through the phone.
“You did. Good job. How are you doing?” Charlotte asked with a grin. “I’m so glad to hear from you!”
“I’m good. I wanted to see how you’re doing, and how things are going with that hot to trot boss of yours.” Rita got straight to the point.
With a sigh, Charlotte bit her lip. “Um, things are going really well, I guess.”
“You guess? You’re still having sex with him, right?”
Charlotte felt her cheeks warm slightly. “Yes, except we don’t do anything when Abbie’s home. I mean, we did on the island, while she was sleeping, but we haven’t done anything here at the house since we’ve been back, not when she’s here.”
“Well, how is it with him? Everything going like you wanted it to?” Rita pressed a little more.
“Yes and no.” Charlotte answered honestly. “It’s great with him… the sex is incredible. He’s an amazing man, but…” She sighed again and closed her eyes, willing the emotion in her to stay down.
“But what?” Rita asked ominously.
“But I think… I think I’m starting to care too much for him.” Charlotte replied quietly. “I think I’m falling in love with him.”
“What? You think you’re what? Girl!” Rita scolded her. “I told you not to do that! I specifically told you not to do that. I warned you about that! He’s only using you for the sex! He doesn’t want your heart or your love, and he told you that straight up, right from the beginning, and you knew it! And now you’re telling me you think you’re falling for him? How could you be doing that? It hasn’t even been that long! What on earth is going on over there?”
“I’m trying to be careful, I am. I think he’s trying to be careful too, but it’s just… happening. I know it’s fast. I know I said I wasn’t going to let it happen, that I could keep this separation of church and state, but I just… I can’t. I care about him too much. There’s nothing I can do about that. There’s just so much good about him to love, and I can’t stop that. Right now, it just feels so natural, and part of it all.” Charlotte knew that she was getting in over her head, but saying it out loud to her best friend really put it on the map for her. It became more real than it had been when she was only thinking it, because saying it out loud to someone she loved and trusted was admitting it. It was admitting it to Rita, to herself, and to the whole universe.
“What on earth are you going to do? You can’t have him! He’s your boss! He is your employer! What are you thinking? Girl, you better get your head on straight. Maybe you should tell him that you think the sex is a conflict of interest and it would be better if you two weren’t cozying up together anymore. Maybe that could stop you from falling in love with him, because if your body is already there, then your heart won’t be too far behind. You have to do something to try to stop this now!” Rita spoke every word emphatically, meaning every one of them.
“I can’t tell him that! He’ll know! He’ll know that I’m backing off because I’m falling for him. I don’t want to jeopardize the job or being here with Abbie. I just love her so much, I love taking care of her, I love living in this home, and I love him! I don’t want to leave. I don’t want to stop being with him. I just have to figure out how to change how I feel about him if I can, before it’s too late.” Charlotte rubbed her hand over her eyes and forehead, trying to push away the frustration and confusion.
“Listen. I want you to prioritize here. Think about what’s most important to you, and you focus on that, and nothing but that, and you make things right for you. Nobody is going to take better care of your heart than you; so, get to it, and take the best care of your heart and yourself that you can. You let all that nonsense go. I know you said he’s a beautiful man; that doesn’t mean anything. You said he’s a good man, well that’s fine, too. That doesn’t mean he’s the right man for you.
The right man for you is going to want you just as much as you want him, and there aren’t going to be any guessing games or any games at all, for that matter. Just love. Real love. What you got now ain’t real love. What you got now is a mess. He is paying you big money to let him have you, and I know you want him too, but that’s not love. Don’t you fool yourself into thinking that it is. You better get yourself together before you get hurt too bad. Do you hear me?” Rita had gone off on a tangent, but she was right, and Charlotte knew it.
“I hear you. I know you’re right. I’ll think about it. I’ll get it straight.” Charlotte was promising herself that she would, just as much as she was promising her best friend. She meant it, she just wasn’t sure how she was going to go through with it. “How on earth do I do that?”
“Do you remember what I told you when you first got there and you were so hot for him at the beginning? I said get yourself another man. To get over one man, you get underneath another man. That’s what I told you. I think you ought to start thinking about that if you want to get over that little crush on your boss.” Rita sounded certain.
“You think I should have sex with someone else?” Charlotte asked in surprise.
“I think you should start dating someone else, and if you have a problem with sleeping with them both at the same time, then just tell your boss that you want to renegotiate your contract, you need to stop sleeping with him. If you want to tell him you’re dating someone else you can, if you think he won’t be jealous and fire you. I know you don’t want to wreck what you’ve got going on there, but if you don’t fix yourself fast, you’re going to wreck yourself. Seriously. Get another man. Someone outside of that home, who isn’t involved. Maybe even find someone who wants you back without paying you to have sex with them.”
Charlotte frowned. “You’re probably right.”
“Probably? I am right. You know if you don’t listen to me now, you’re going to be telling me later that you wished you had listened to me. I’m saying all this because you’re my best friend and I love you, and you need to hear it. No one else is going to say it to you.” Rita stated flatly.
Charlotte nodded. “Okay. I’ll think about that. Thank you. I love you, too.”
“Well, keep me posted. Your life is way more interesting than my soap opera right now.” Rita teased her with a little more lightness in her tone, and Charlotte laughed.
“It’s so true.” She shook her head with a smile.
After they hung up, she gave everything that Rita had said to her some considerable thought, and though she didn’t want to admit it, she knew that her best friend was probably right. If she didn’t get a hold on her feelings for Brady soon, she was going to have to end the intimacy between them, and perhaps even follow Rita’s advice about seeing someone else, because Rita was right about something else. Brady wasn’t falling in love with her, and if she wasn’t careful, she was going to get her heart broken terribly.