Chapter Four
“So there is a distinct possibility that I might be singing in Ohio for the next few years, or year at least,” Bridget said with equal parts excitement and dread.
Eva heard the sound of traffic over the phone and thought Bridget must be walking somewhere.
“I really can’t talk,” Eva rasped into the phone. She pressed the phone between her shoulder and her ear as she moved a stack of papers.
“I don’t get it, you were fine a few nights ago.”
“I don’t get it either, but I can’t talk. I’m supposed to be going to that audition in two hours and…” Eva found the pack of lozenges and shoved a lemon honey drop into her mouth.
“But you can’t sing.”
Eva felt the panic and pressure she’d been feeling for the last five days. As soon as she’d left Ambrose’s apartment she’d noticed the quality of her vocal chords had gone down hill, worse than they had been at her last appointment with the doctor.
She’d tried cleaning out her apartment, opening windows, airing things out. She’d even spent a night on Jerome’s couch wondering if there was something else in her apartment causing the symptoms, but nothing worked.
“Ok, email or text me about the audition…I’m really sorry about your voice,” Bridget’s words sounded awkward to Eva’s ear. Her friend probably felt guilty for acing her own audition while Eva wouldn’t even be able to sing through her own.
“Mm hmm,” Eva hummed before hanging up her phone.
Her throat felt constricted, all of her felt constricted. She had no way of getting in touch with Ambrose to cancel her audition so she was just going to show up and admit the truth, then hope they would be able to understand her.
She knew very well that there would be no follow-up audition offers after that. No one wanted to take a risk on an unknown singer with a possibly defective instrument.
Eva dressed in her best silk button up with a curve hugging knee length skirt and heels. She would at least make an impression on Luciano Costantini even if it wasn’t with her voice. In the back of her mind Eva also thought she might run into Ambrose again and if she did then she wanted to look her best.
She’d had no calls, no texts from him even though she’d left her phone number. She’d tried not to think about him but her mind had other plans, continuously circling back to the famous baritone, his amazing voice, and the things he’d done to her on his coarse Persian rug.
When Eva arrived in the Metropolitan Opera building it was void of all the dressed patrons and fanfare she’d experienced on her last visit.
“I have a meeting with Luciano Costantini,” Eva’s voice croaked out but it was a little less fragile then it had been at her apartment. She’d tried in vain to warm up and given up, feeling as though she was causing damage to her vocal chords even doing the most gentle of exercises.
“Your name?” the man in a security outfit asked, looking down at a clipboard.
“Eva St. Marie,” she tried to stretch her vocal chords and they seemed to respond the smallest amount. Her stomach began to twitter. What if she could sing after all? She chided herself at the thought, she was in no condition to sing and it would be stupid, even irresponsible of her to try.
The man nodded when he found her name.
“Just have a seat, I’ll let him know you’re here,” he nodded to a row of seats and Eva took one. She’d brought a recording of herself on CD but it wouldn’t matter if she couldn’t sing anytime in the near future.
Eva looked at her hands, they were growing sweaty with nerves. She chided herself. There was nothing to be nervous about, she wasn’t even singing.
“Eva St. Marie?” A woman in rolled jeans and bright red clogs stood in front of her. Despite her causal apparel she was an incredibly fashionable older woman. Her hair was swept into a messy but perfect looking chignon, red lipstick presided over her face as her one concession to formality.
“Luciano is looking forward to meeting you,” the woman looked back at Eva and Eva smiled. “He’s heard such good things about you from Ambrose.”
Eva smiled.
“We’re just over here,” the woman turned down another corridor and there in another doorway stood Ambrose, face-to-face, and lip-to-lip with another woman.
The woman in the red clogs coughed to alert the kissing couple that they were not alone.
“Oh excuse me,” the blonde who had just been kissing Ambrose said quickly when she saw Eva and the other woman, “I’ll just get back to rehearsal.” The woman was blonde, stick thin, and tall. Eva felt herself go white. That woman was the complete opposite of Eva, her dark curly hair, and her ample backside.
A wave of jealousy, that Eva had never experienced before, washed over her. She looked away from Ambrose who turned to look at the two women who now stood in front of him.
“Ah you made it.” He walked to Eva and kissed both her cheeks though she didn’t bother making any kissing motions back to him.
“Yes, I made it,” her voice was crisp and clear. The tension in her throat and around her vocal chords was gone but Eva was so unhappy about the circumstances in which she’d found Ambrose that she hardly recognized the difference.
“Good,” he looked over her face then winked. Eva felt her face grow crimson. After she’d just seen him tongue in mouth with another woman… and not just another woman…a woman who looked like a lingerie model. Unforgivable.
“You look gorgeous, as usual.” Ambrose hardly looked at her while he said it and Eva felt a stream of free-floating resentment shoot through her.
She wanted to snap back at him, say something snarky… but instead she smiled tightly, “Thank you.”
The blow probably wouldn’t have been so bad if she hadn’t been daydreaming about him for the past five days. She’d imagined herself showing up to his performances in the front row, where he would throw her kisses when he took his bows. She’d imagined them in his dressing room, legs spread, helping him warm-up. She’d imagined showing up to some of her alumni events with Ambrose Leroy on her arm.
None of that mattered now. She inwardly scolded herself for being so stupid, stupid enough to let the daydreams go on in the first place.
Eva’s thick, dark hair cascaded down the back of her purple silk blouse.
The woman guiding Eva turned away from Ambrose to an adjacent door and opened it, holding it for Eva and then Ambrose to walk through.
“Luciano it is my great pleasure to introduce you to the voice of the decade, perhaps even the century,…” Ambrose lifted a confident hand in Eva’s direction, “this is Eva St. Marie.”
“If only I had a permanent escort to give me such introductions everywhere I went.” Luciano Costantini was a handsome older man with thick black eyebrows and silver hair. “But alas, I am not as lovely as you.”
Luciano Costantini took Eva’s hand and kissed it and Eva actually blushed.
“Thank you, Mr. Costantini,” she couldn’t help but smile.
“Call me Luc,” he winked at her a bit like Ambrose had, “I knew your parents, they were amazing people—the great talents of their time.”
Eva felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude for the man standing in front of her. She happily ignored Ambrose and focused her gaze on the warm and charming face of the older man. He might be nearing sixty but the man had charisma.
“It’s nice of you to say so,” Eva’s voice issued out like the sweet tinkling of a bell.
“Nice, nothing—I never say anything I don’t mean, something not everyone thanks me for,” he lowered his eyes and voice.
“Now,” he clapped his hands together and turned back to a table he’d been sitting at with sheets of hand written musical notation in front of him. “I believe you are planning to sing something for me today?”
Eva inhaled as deeply as she could. Her voice sounded and felt fine when only moments ago she’d sounded like a throaty victim of laryngitis. It made absolutely no sense. She looked uneasily at Ambrose then to Luciano trying to decide what she should do. If she was to sing, then she should at least warn them of the problems her voice was having, shouldn’t she?
“I was thinking of singing The Nightingale,” Eva said, throwing caution to the wind. This was where she was meant to be, this was what she was meant to be doing. If she didn’t risk it now, then, when would she?
The woman who had guided Eva through the back rooms of the Metropolitan Opera moved to the piano and sat down. This casually stylish woman was Luciano’s wife! Of course she’d heard that his wife always worked closely with him in transposing music, Eva just hadn’t put it together. His wife was rumored to be a great pianist in her own right, someone who might have had an excellent career on the stage had she not dedicated herself to her husband’s work.
Eva walked her sheet music over to the other woman who took it with an outstretched hand and a smile.
“Any preference in tempo?”
“Just as is,” Eva hummed a bit of the song, more for her own sake then the other woman’s. Her voice felt and sounded like she’d been warming up all morning.
“Ok then.” The woman spread the music out in front of her and practiced a few chords as Eva walked back to the middle of the room.
As the music began Eva was conscious of Luciano’s seasoned eyes. Those eyes had witnessed, not only the greats of his time, but her parents as well. She felt the intent gaze of Ambrose and the knowledge of it spread a silky warmth through her body.
She looked over the heads of both men and let her voice lift and move with the steady rhythm of the music. The song was something she’d only worked on away from school, with so many exquisite Italian arias to choose from, picking a Russian song was a bit of a risk when singing in front of an Italian composer. But that was why she’d chosen it, she was certain that he’d heard those arias thousands of times and she wanted to bring something different to the table. Something fresh.
A little niggling sense of apprehension signaled in the back of her mind. The music was about to change and any loss of her voice would ruin the rest of the song. The piano took over and as she was about to plunge back in she let go of any residual apprehensions. This was no time to hold back. If she failed, then she would fail big and she would fail trying.
The build of the music and her voice came through strong and solid. She inhaled and as her voice filled the room everything in her body felt right. Her heart felt right.
She trilled and warbled well enough to beat out any real nightingale.
When the song finished, her attention came back to the room. The energy was pulsing around her but she couldn’t completely tell if it was a good energy. Luciano stared at her with an impenetrable gaze.
Her voice had been good, better than good, it had been perfect. She’d sung the song better than she’d sung anything before, but she didn’t know Luciano.
She stood silently before him for what felt like years, waiting for any sign of a response.
“That…” he hesitated as he looked for words. His eyes fell to the table in front of him and Eva began to lose heart. “I think I’d like to hear something else.”
“Oh,” Eva was thrown. It wasn’t what she’d expected to hear.
“Is that a problem?” Luciano looked up at her and Eva felt almost knocked over by the look. Everything that was charm and gaiety in him before was all business now.
“Not in the least,” Eva smiled broadly. She could do this. She was made for it.
“Good,” he smiled at last and Eva took a breath. “I have just the thing I’d like to hear,” he lifted the pages in front of him.
Eva worked through the dips, valleys, and peaks of the central aria for Luciano’s new opera with the help of his wife, who Eva was finally introduced to. Glenda understood the human voice, seemingly, just as well as her husband. She guided Eva through the structure and sounds that Luciano was intent on hearing while Luciano and Ambrose talked over the first act of the new opera.
When Eva finally gave a trial run at singing it, Luciano did not smile, or clap, but gave her six specific notes then had her do it again. And again. And again.
Eva was beginning to have a vague understanding of what it was that made the man a great in his field.
“Yes,” Luciano placed his hands loudly on the table in front of him and looked at Eva thoughtfully. “There is something there,” he moved a knowing finger in front of her. “You will have to work very hard, harder than you’ve ever worked before, but… if you promise to do this, then the role of Lucretia is yours.”
Luciano waited for Eva’s response though he must have known it. Eva wanted to run and throw her arms around his neck and kiss his cheeks, but she thought this would not be the best way to deal with this particular man when it concerned his work.
Eva smiled. She opened her mouth and for a brief moment she thought about coming clean. But then, shouldn’t she have told Luciano about her vocal problems before she’d even begun? She would, after all, have an understudy in the worst-case scenario. Eva’s mind and heart tugged back and forth on her mouth.
“I will work harder than anyone you’ve ever worked with,” Eva said solemnly as if taking vows in a holy order.
As she left the room, seven hours after she’d first entered it, Ambrose walked with her.
“I’ll buy you a drink,” he said with a smile, “to celebrate.”
Eva was tempted, he was so extraordinarily good looking and his voice could probably make a room full of women take off their clothes for him, but that was just the problem. Eva realized that if they were going to work together then she had better get her heart out of the way.
“No,” she sighed using all her willpower. The night air was bracing as they walked into it. “I need to rest this,” she tapped a hand to her throat, “I should be getting home.”
“Is this because of Tessa?” Ambrose tilted his head.
“Who?” Eva pretended not to understand though she knew exactly who he was talking about.
“The girl—in the hall—the one I was kissing?” Ambrose smiled wider the longer Eva pretended not to understand.
Eva dropped the pretense, “Fine. Yes, it is.”
Ambrose nodded knowingly.
“I guess that makes me some sort of prude or something but I don’t care… I would rather not get attached to someone who is not attached to me.” Eva straightened her spine though she felt anything but dignified.
“That’s fair enough, I guess.” He walked forward with both hands in the pockets of his trousers. “I’m just disappointed.”
Eva gave him a long glance. “I’m sure it won’t last long,” she said before breaking away into the night.