CHAPTER TWENTY
Xander
It had been a shitty day, made even shittier when I’d gotten the call from Madalyn about Danielle’s surprise visit. I dropped everything and instead of driving back to Montauk, I had Joyce secure the company helicopter. She’d have someone deliver the Porsche later that day.
I’d had to let one of my best vice presidents go because of a sexual harassment claim from two college interns. What the hell was wrong with people? With men? Couldn’t they keep their damn dicks in their pants, especially in today’s social climate?
I thought of Madalyn and my dick twitched. That was different, I reminded myself as the ocean came into view in the distance. I made sure she wasn’t an employee, that she was financially free. I did it right because I didn’t want a cloud to hover over our relationship.
“Ten minutes,” the pilot said into my headset.
I was almost home. To her. Them.
Air began to move in and out of my lungs easier knowing I was close.
What had Danielle been thinking? And where was she now? She hadn’t answered any of my calls or texts. Hopefully, that meant she was on a plane back to California before anyone there discovered she left. It was tempting to call the LA authorities, have them give her a little welcoming party when she rolled up on the tarmac. Very tempting. Especially after what she’d said to Kylian. The bitch.
On the ground, I was given a lift home by one of the employees. The front door was locked so I went around the house, taking off my expensive Italian leather shoes, then rolling off the socks, glad to feel the sand under my feet.
I followed the splashes and the giggles. When I came around the corner, I wasn’t surprised to see Kenzie jumping into the water. But I was surprised to find Madalyn throwing… I blinked, making sure I was seeing things clearly. Yes. Madalyn was throwing rocks at my son.
Well, not officially throwing them. Tossing them was more accurate. She was grabbing the palm-sized rocks from the landscaping and tossing them to Kylian, who was building some kind of pyramid at his feet.
Curious, I moved around the back deck, staying out of sight.
“You should have known better.”
I frowned. That had come from Madalyn.
“You probably liked it.”
That came from Madalyn too.
“Do you like boys now?”
I bristled. What the hell?
Coming around to where I could see more clearly, I watched in horror and astonishment as Madalyn kept tossing out insults as quickly as she tossed rocks. There was a large pile at Kylian’s feet, the pyramid nearly up to his knees.
What had I done?
I’d saved Kylian from Jet only to expose him to some virtual stranger I picked up in a park and…
Kylian laughed, confusing the picture that had been beginning to form in my head.
My frowned deepened. Exposed him to what?
Moving to the stairs, I watched them continue their horrible game. Madalyn was sweating under the warm sun. Kylian was too.
They hadn’t seen me yet, and the woman I cared for way too much was continuing to toss insults at my son.
“You’re a daddy’s boy.”
Kylian laughed, caught the rock, then carefully added it to his pile.
“Daddy! Daddy! Daddy, watch!”
Water exploded up as Kenzie cannonballed into the middle of the pool. Kylian whirled while Madalyn just stood there, stone in hand.
“What’s going on here?”
Kylian shrugged. “Maddie’s making sure that words will never hurt me.”
I looked up to the sky, trying to unpuzzle that announcement.
Madalyn tossed the stone in her hand back into the landscaping. “I was… um. I was hoping to help Kylian remove some of the triggers he was experiencing.”
I dropped my three-thousand-dollar shoes to the deck. “By throwing rocks at him?”
“Well, actually, yes. It’s a metaphor, you see, but also a tactile learning experience to help incorporate the lesson into his muscle memory.”
Huh?
I must have looked as confused as I felt because she went on. “After the visit…” her eyes slid to Kylian, who was now sitting next to his pile of rocks, rebuilding his pyramid, “earlier, Kylian and I were discussing how it felt to have people speak badly of you. It reminded me of a conversation I had with my mother.” The tip of her nose grew pink. “Then I was also reminded of some things my psychology tut… um, classes discussed. So we made up this game.” She bit her lip. “I’m sorry if I did anything wrong.”
Realizing I was still staring at her in astonishment, I closed my mouth, and shrugged out of my jacket before loosening my tie.
Kylian looked up at me. “We’re going to bullfight too.”
I blinked at her. I was no longer upset, more impressed than anything.
Who was this woman, and why was she practically delivered to me exactly when I needed her? We needed her.
But it was also kind of fun to see this normally composed woman fidget. It didn’t happen often. “So, do you plan on slaying my son or just tormenting him ceaselessly with a red cape?” I quipped, forcing my lips to remain in a frown.
“Neither, of course.” She swiped her hands down her thighs and came toward me. “It’s just another metaphor, but this time it’s about not fighting the emotions you feel.” Standing in front of me, she took a deep breath and held up her hands in front of her. “Pretend I’m a painful thought or memory. Or a negative emotion.”
“Ooookay…”
She gave me a work with me please look. “Now press your hands against mine and fight back against me.”
“Do you have any underlying anger management problem I need to know about?”
She stamped her foot and yelled, “No!” in pure frustration.
I looked down at her foot. “I think you do.” This time, I couldn’t keep the smile from spreading across my face.
She narrowed her eyes. “Are you teasing me while I’m teaching lessons?”
I laughed. “Maybe.”
She huffed. “Then stop it.” She turned and faced Kylian instead. “Kylian and I shall do this since you can’t be trusted to participate fully.”
To my surprise, my son leapt to his feet. “What am I supposed to do?”
She slid me a narrow-eyed look and held her hands up like she did before. Unlike me, my son automatically pressed his palms to hers. “See how unhard that was?”
I grimaced. “Unhard?”
She rolled her eyes and faced Kylian again. “Now, pretend that I’m a hateful emotion. I’m anger and pain. I’m a bully. I’m hurtful words. I want you to try to push me away.”
As I watched, Kylian did as he was told, pressing his palms harder against hers.
“More. I’m the bad man. I’m the bad friend. I’m laughter. I’m self-doubt.”
Digging in his heels, Kylian began to put his full weight into it. Madalyn’s arms began to shake, but she kept pushing back, kept urging him on.
After another minute of this, they were both sweating, both puffing out breath. Kenzie got out of the pool and sat down on a chair to watch.
Finally, Madalyn eased up and dropped her arms, shaking them out.
“That’s hard, isn’t it? Mentally and physically exhausting to fight your emotions all the time. Fight against people and the things they say.”
Kylian shook out his arms too. “Yeah.”
Madalyn began to sway, and I didn’t even question what she was doing. I just watched, listened. Admired the obvious connection she was building with the boy.
“Have you ever watched a bullfight?”
Kylian shrugged. “Only a little, like in cartoons.”
“Now, I do not support the cruel sport of bullfighting in the least. What I found interesting about it, though, was how the matador was able to dodge the charging beast that was so very angry and so much bigger with very little body movement.”
Dropping a foot behind her, she gracefully turned to the side, then faced him again. She dropped the other foot back, turning gracefully, almost like a dance.
“Now, be that bully bull again.” She held up her hands. But this time, when Kylian pushed against her palms, she dropped her foot back and turned sideways, and the boy went racing past her. “See!”
Kylian turned. “That was cool.”
She faced him again. “Let’s do it again. Use my trigger words from before.”
“You’re so ugly,” Kylian shouted. I bristled, but Madalyn simply stepped backward, and he moved on past. “Ugly duckling.” I stared at them as they continued the game. “Unwanted. A disappointment. Useless. Trapped.”
It was then that I realized that those were the things that people used to say to the woman in front of me. Ugly? Trapped? A disappointment?
I was near tears when it was Kylian’s turn, and his trigger words were revealed. “You wanted it. You asked for it. You liked it.” If he were older, I knew those words would be even more hurtful, more blatantly painful.
“In real life,” Madalyn explained as they did their dance together, “you won’t be able to physically move like this, but if you can imagine you are, then—”
“Then my brain can move.”
She smiled and rumpled his hair. “Exactly.”
He looked up at her. “Is it really that easy?”
She placed both hands on his shoulders and looked him in the eye. “No, but like with anything you practice, it becomes easier.”
He nodded. “Like catching a baseball.”
She grinned. “Or a rock.”
This. Was. It.
This was what I wanted. Just this. My family smiling and laughing, even when things got rough. Even when there were tough lessons to learn.
Madalyn swiped at her forehead with the back of her hand. “Whew, I’m hot.”
Yes, she certainly was. But not for long.
I took off, heading toward them both. With a laughing Kylian under one arm and a screaming Madalyn under the other, I jumped all three of us into the pool. Kenzie jumped in too, and that was how I spent my next hour, in the pool, trousers, shirt, tie and all.
The next hour was spent in the kitchen, cutting up vegetables for salad while my girls and Kylian layered a lasagna in a pan.
Later, we ate then took a long walk down the beach, taking CeeCee with us to give her a little break from the puppies.
Darkness fell, and we sat on the deck, watching blue sky change to indigo and then an inky blackness, untouched by the moon or stars that hid behind the rain clouds that were rolling in.
It was a four storybook night for Kenzie, but soon enough she was sound asleep and I crept out to check on my son. “You okay?”
He blinked sleepily at me. “Yeah. I think so.” He rolled onto his side. “What’s going to happen to Mom?”
I stroked his hair. “I honestly don’t know.”
And I honestly didn’t.
“When all this legal stuff is over,” I told him, “I want to get her some help. She’s changed a lot since marrying…” I sighed, “you know.”
He nodded. “I know.” Yawning big, he blinked heavily. “I miss her.”
My heart squeezed. “I know you do. I’m so sorry all of this happened.”
“Not the now her, but the old her. She used to be really funny…” his eyes went flat, “before him.”
I leaned down and kissed his forehead. “We’ll just have to wait and see if she wants to be that person again, Kyl. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in life it’s that you can’t force someone to change. They have to want that change for themselves.”
He yawned, so big it made me yawn too. “I like Maddie, Dad.”
“I like her too.”
“Do you want to marry her?”
The question surprised me. “We haven’t known each other for very long, so I don’t know if I can answer that right now.”
He looked me dead in the eye. “You should marry her.”
“You think so?”
“Yeah. Kenzie thinks so too.”
Another surprise. “You two have been talking about this?”
He nodded. “Yeah. Kenzie said that if you do, she’s going to call her Mama Maddie.”
I laughed. “That makes her sound like an old Italian woman.”
Kylian grinned. “Yeah, kind of like Mama Mia.”
“Exactly.”
Another yawn. “I’ll tell Kenz she’ll have to come up with something else.”
He closed his eyes and didn’t open them this time. Soon, his breathing settled into a steady rhythm. I kissed his forehead again. “I love you.”
He mumbled something and turned over to face the wall.
Pushing to my feet, I wandered around the house, making sure the doors and windows were locked before setting the alarm for the night.
I found Madalyn in the bathroom, fresh from the shower. She wore the cute little pajama set I liked and was slathering lotion on her arms.
Our eyes met in the mirror as I walked up behind her. She sighed as I pushed the straps of the pajama top down her arms. Pushing her wet hair aside, I kissed her shoulder, her neck, her ear.
Cupping her breasts, I watched her nipples tighten in the mirror, listened to her breathing hitch as I dropped my hand down to cup her sex. She was hot, and I knew she would be wet. She was always wet for me. And when I pushed the bottoms down and explored, I learned I was right.
Ridding myself of my clothes just as quickly, I rolled on a condom.
When I entered her from behind, I said, “You are beautiful. Your face, your body, your soul. Your spirit.”
Taking her hands, I lifted them until they were on the mirror, mine covering hers. When I plunged into her again, I said. “You are a swan.”
Tears welled in her eyes as I retreated, pulling out so slowly I felt the vacuum of her body attempt to pull me back in. Flexing my hips, I thrust. “You are free.”
With each stroke, I told her what I wanted her to know.
“You are resourceful.”
“You are funny.”
“You are smart.”
“You are kind.”
Tears streamed down her face as her body tightened around me as she accepted the compliments I gave her. The compliments I’d never stop giving her.
“You are courageous.”
“You are amazing.”
“You are inspiring.”
“You are honest.”
“You are strong.”
She came, sobbing and laughing, her fingers linked with mine as I made love to her both mentally and physically.
“You are determined.”
“You are important.”
“You are romantic.”
“You are radiant.”
Each stroke, each word. Each truth.
“You are compassionate.”
“You are creative.”
“You are empowering.”
As my balls tightened, there was so much more I wanted to tell her, so much she needed to know.
“You are a blessing to all humankind. A blessing to my family. To me.”
And when I came, I had one final thing to say as my semen raced from me to her.
“You are loved.”