Chapter Eight
“Where do you want me?” was such a loaded question after their kiss at the party. The intensity of it had shaken Josie up. After the kiss was over, she’d been hungry for more and that scared her. They needed to stick to the breakup plan and end things as soon as they possibly could.
She pointed to a double seat wooden swing. “Sit there. That’s the perfect spot.” Josie was acutely aware of Lincoln’s gaze, dark and unwavering, watching her as she moved around. The wind whipped her shoulder-length hair into her face, making it difficult to see. She paused to pull a band from her pocket and gathered her hair on top of her head in a messy bun. When she was done and had finished getting everything ready, she held up a finger to Lincoln to indicate they were about to start.
“Tell me what being a firefighter means to you.”
His lips curved slightly and Josie was reminded of how they felt against hers. Soft yet firm. Expertly coaxing and taking. The scent of him, the feel of him, the strength of his body against hers. She shook off the thoughts, glad she was able to concentrate on Lincoln’s words, and not his lips.
“Being a firefighter is challenging and exciting at times. The job varies from one day to the next. I might have a training exercise or a fire or an EMS call. You never know. For me, it’s always been about helping people.”
Josie smiled, then asked him several more questions, and before she knew it, the time had flown by. She stopped the camera. “This was great. I’ll line up a few interviews with some of the other firefighters, footage of the station and action shots, then I’ll edit everything. I think you’re a shoo-in for winning the contest.”
“Why is that?”
“Because the way you live your life isn’t just for show. You’re a hero whether you’re fighting fires, saving people, or just living out your life.” She couldn’t think of a single person in town who didn’t like Lincoln.
He got off the swing, changing the subject as he always did whenever anyone praised him. “Come over here and get on. Remember this?”
How could she forget? She’d nearly fallen out of the swing more times than she could count over the years from the nervous excitement that Lincoln’s legs had pressed against hers as he sat beside her. She moved toward him and hitched up her dress with one hand. With the other, she held on to one of the ropes and settled on the seat. “Don’t go too high. My stomach’s still full.”
Lincoln pushed the swing to get it started and then leaped back on. They swung in silence for a while until the motion slowed. Josie sighed, then tipped her head back to look up at him. “I miss when life was simpler.”
He looked down at her. “Me, too.”
“I miss how easy everything used to be between us.”
Lincoln abruptly stepped off the swing but remained standing behind her. She frowned at him from her upside-down view. “What’s wrong?”
He lowered his head and kissed her.
The second his lips touched hers, she leaped upright like that weird cat of her neighbor’s had just sank its claws into her butt. “What was that for?” That kiss was a racecar driving their relationship on a dangerous, twisty track.
“We have witnesses,” he said.
She glanced toward the outer edge of the park and spotted a couple of families they knew. She waved and smiled, even though she didn’t feel like doing either. Lincoln had kissed her twice now and both times it was for show, but they made her feel and want things that weren’t good for her. “Good catch,” she said, turning away from the families and Lincoln to gather her equipment.
He came after her to help. “You okay? You look like something’s bothering you.”
She kept her voice light to cover her inner turmoil. “It feels weird, that’s all. Everything. Fake kisses, fake relationship.” Eyes wide, she stared at him. Say something. Tell me that you’re struggling as much as I am to find the right footing between us.
“Yeah, it does.”
Josie ducked her head. “Makes me feel kind of mixed up and—”
“Glad for the thought that it’ll soon be over,” he supplied.
She raised her head. He seemed to look forward to the over part a lot more eagerly than she did. “But still friends afterward, right? You’ll stop freezing me out like you did before? Deal?” She set her stuff down and held out her hand, proud of herself that it wasn’t shaking.
Lincoln moved forward, but instead of shaking it like she’d thought he would, he took her hand in his and held on. “Friends. And yes.”
No. Tell me that you can’t be just my friend. Tell me that I’m the one, that I’ve always been the one for you. That you see me the way I see you. The thought rocked her, and Josie let out a gasp.
“Josie? What’s wrong?”
The sounds of kids playing in the background, the hum of traffic from the street by the park, faded into white noise as she locked her gaze with his. He was embedded in her history. He was…sledding down hills in the winter, picking fruit in the summer, telling her some boys were stupid after she cried because her first boyfriend had broken her fifteen-year-old heart. He was…camping with her and his family, helping her blow out candles on the birthday cake that his mother made for her year after year.
Her mental foray into the past was broken when some guy yelled a greeting across the park. Lincoln acknowledged the man, then turned back to Josie. “Your face paled a second ago.” He touched her cheek. “Are you sick?”
“Um…no. Maybe too much birthday cake.”
“It was rich, that’s for sure.”
He wouldn’t stop looking at her and Josie had to get out from under that scrutiny. She offered what she hoped was a reassuring smile as he helped her carry everything back to the car. At the trunk, she said, “I’ll drop by the station when you’re on duty tomorrow and we can try again to get strike one done.” What she’d thought about him being more than a friend unnerved her and increased her determination to get things between them over.
“Sounds good.”
She drove Lincoln home then headed to her own place, telling herself she was right to believe that the sooner the breakup was complete, the better. Her thoughts had scared her. She didn’t know if they were remnants of the crush she’d once had on him, or if this was something new.
Something with the potential to break her heart.
…
“I pick the movie this time!” Kevin yelled across the room where the crew often gathered to relax. Here, they watched television or movies, or played games like foosball, pool, or half a dozen card games that lined a shelf. Kevin vaulted over the back of the sofa to claim one end of it.
Lincoln tuned out the disagreement over what to watch that started between Kevin and Shelly. She was one of Casey’s friends and their newest hire.
Lincoln loved being at the station. He enjoyed the camaraderie and close bonds he’d developed with the men and women he worked with. When the bickering ended, the latest action movie began playing. Lincoln tried to get drawn into it, but it couldn’t hold his attention like thoughts of Josie could. He mentally cursed. Thinking about his soon-to-be ex was starting to interfere with his life. Her image invaded his head when he was trying to sleep, when he was doing chores, and when he— The alarm sounded, and everyone scrambled into action.
Lincoln and the rest of the crew geared up and jumped on the truck. Nothing indicated this would be more than a one alarm, but upon arrival, the chief would call for more help if it were warranted. They arrived at an area filled with strip malls and apartment complexes, and Lincoln could easily spot smoke, but no flames pouring from one window of a fifth-floor apartment.
People stood in the parking lot, some of them crying while others wore looks of shock that Lincoln had seen before at the scene of fires or accidents.
Because he had seniority over the rest of the crew, he lined up the positions and then entered the building with Kevin. He shook his head at the trio of teenagers standing on the second-floor landing talking excitedly about the fire and ordered them to get out of the building.
When they reached the apartment, the door was slightly open and smoke slid out through the crack. Inside, a back bedroom was already filled with smoke and flames were shooting up one corner of the room. Visibly shaking, a medium-size brown and white dog cowered by a dresser.
Lincoln grabbed the dog and hauled him up into his arms. He brought the dog outside to be examined, then went back inside to go door-to-door to check each apartment.
Later, once the fire was subdued and the day wound into evening, Kevin said, “The dog will be okay.” Lincoln looked across the parking lot at a young boy now reunited with his pet. “The boy’s uncle tossed a cigarette in the trash can. He thought it was out.”
“Wow,” Lincoln said as the adrenaline started to drain. He would check in on the boy and his family later to make sure they were okay. After a fire, families often struggled financially, and carried a heavy load of guilt over the events. He liked to talk to the families to make sure they got the help they needed to rebuild their lives.
He shared a look with Kent and knew his friend was probably thinking about the fire that had almost killed him. One of the first things he’d learned as a rookie was that no matter how much control you thought you had on the scene, fire never played by the rules.
By the time they arrived back at the station and returned everything to order, the stars were out in the clear sky. It made him think of nights spent lying in a field with Josie trying to count those stars.
He was headed toward the kitchen to grab something to eat when Kevin let him know he had a visitor. For a split second, he wondered who, then remembered that his pseudo girlfriend was coming to start the first step in their breakup.
He walked back outside. Josie wore jeans that hugged her body from the waist, down her long legs, all the way to her boot clad feet. He swallowed hard at the sight of her curves displayed even better than the dress had showcased them last night. She had on a denim jacket and her hair was down, causing him to have a brief, wild thought about tangling his fingers through it. In any getup, in any room, she always owned it. She was beautiful, funny, and would be lethal to his heart if he was stupid enough to let his guard down. Which he wasn’t.
“I heard about the fire. Are you okay?”
“Safe and sound,” he said.
She held up a pizza box. “I thought maybe you might be hungry. It’s the meat kind with the crust that you like.”
Right on cue, Lincoln’s stomach growled. “Thanks. You want to come inside so we can get started on the breakup?”
She grimaced. “Right. Me staging trouble between us right after you get back from a fire would make me look like a weasel of a girlfriend.”
“I didn’t think about that.”
She gave him a funny smile. “It might hurt my chances of any of your colleagues asking me out once you and I are through.”
Lincoln suddenly lost his appetite. He worked with great guys, but not a single one of them was worthy of Josie. They didn’t know her like he did.
“Yeah. Okay. I guess we’ll postpone.” For some reason, he didn’t want her to leave just yet. “Have you talked to your parents?”
Her lips twisted. “We went out for lunch.”
It was what she didn’t say that clued Lincoln in. “What happened?”
She shrugged. “Same old, same old. But it doesn’t matter. I take the things my mother says for what they are. She’s parroting how she was raised.”
“And hurting her daughter almost every time she opens her mouth,” Lincoln said.
“I don’t take it personally anymore. I think Mom believes she’s trying to be helpful.”
“I’ll bet she was thrilled to hear you and I are dating again. Or whatever,” he clarified when that sounded too real.
“She was more interested in telling me all the ways I was failing and that I needed to lock you down or I’ll never get married.”
He saw a shudder ripple through her. “I’m sorry.”
She grimaced. “Whatever. Anyway, I just wanted to drop off the pizza. I won’t keep you.”
He still wasn’t ready for her to leave but didn’t know what else to say to make her stay a little longer. “Okay. You’re coming to the hayride tomorrow night, right?”
“That’s a given,” she said.
Almost everyone in town showed up for the annual hayride thanks to the food, games, and live bands that were also part of the festivities. “Want to ride in together?”
She shook her head. “Can’t. I’m filming a wedding proposal at the lake.”
“Poor guy. He has my condolences.”
Josie pretended to sock him in the arm. “His girlfriend is the one doing the proposing.”
Lincoln shook his head. “Bad idea. If he hasn’t asked, he’s not ready.”
“Or maybe he’s just stuck in a rut and he’s too blind to realize what he could lose.”
Lincoln searched her eyes, which were saying something he couldn’t figure out. “I guess.”
“We’ll set the breakup in motion at the hayride if that works for you?”
Lincoln tightened his grip on the pizza box. “Of course.”
“I’ll meet you by the funnel cake stand.”
He watched her fade into the night and after a few minutes heard the sound of her car starting. A weird sense of loss hit as Lincoln turned and carried the pizza into the station. Even though he knew it was for the best, he couldn’t help but wish tomorrow wouldn’t come.