Chapter 6

Ash

Well, if the last two days are any indication of what my marriage to Fergus is going to be like, then I sure as shit don’t want any part of it.

I know I should be focusing on the positives of the situation; the peace alliance between our people, the security, and I suppose I could have it worse, but I just can’t say I’m happy about it.

Fergus is the kind of man who has no issue with making you feel small; in fact, he thrives on it and quite enjoys it, from what I’ve seen. And I’m not talking about making a girl feel physically small. I’ll eat that shit up.

I’m talking about small as a person, insignificant.

The way he talks to me, or rather, talks at me, is so condescending, it’s all I can do to grit my teeth and bare it. I’m running out of the willpower and the patience to throw any more fake smiles in his direction when he does it, and I’ve apparently got a lifetime left to go.

Even when he’s polite, he’s not really polite. It’s all a façade he keeps up to cover his ass, and it’s laced with underlying sarcasm and judgment. The way he talks down to his staff—and to me, for that matter—makes my blood boil.

As for his looks, I mean, sure I could definitely do worse, but he doesn’t get my blood pumping, if you know what I mean.

He’s more of a sleek pretty boy, and I want a strong, burly man; a man who when I look at him sends fire through my veins and makes my heart skip a beat. A man who can get my knees weak with a single look or a single touch.

I want a man who isn’t afraid to make a joke, and has no problem laughing and carrying on with people not necessarily of the same social status as he is. I want a man who chops his own firewood when he has the spare time, instead of one who is too concerned with ruining his manicure or clothing and gets someone to do it for him.

I want a man who has horses, and tends to them himself, and enjoys doing it. Not to mention enjoying things like walks on the beach, or a stroll through the garden on his down time or lunch break.

I want a man who enjoys the simple pleasures in life and finds his own happiness; not a man who demands that others create his happiness for him.

I want a man like Andrew.

It’s wrong to think that way, I know, and I shouldn’t even be entertaining the thoughts, but my mind keeps wandering back to our little romp in the woods.

The way his tongue brought me to completion—more than once—so easily, the way he made me feel beautiful even when we were rolling around in the dirt, and most of all, the way he looked at me and lusted after me.

When he looks at me, I can tell that he wants me; he makes no effort to hide it. He gets this glint in his eye, and looks me up and down, his gaze lingering probably a little longer than it should on places that it shouldn’t, given our situation.

Fergus doesn’t look at me like that.

Hell, he barely looks at me at all, and when he does, he usually looks annoyed or makes it seem like I’m an inconvenience or a nuisance. It’s almost as if he wants this marriage as little as I do, but I’m at least trying to be positive about it. I certainly don’t look at him with disgust…even though I want to.

I glance around the room and take in the scenery; not too many people, and the sun is still high in the sky, so I’ve got lots of time. I decide that I’m going to go ahead and visit the particular man that I want, whether it’s proper or not.

If I’m going to be forced to spend the rest of my life with a weasel like Fergus, I may as well take advantage of my freedom while I can. Plus, it’s not like anyone is going to see me, least of all Fergus.

I try to imagine him anywhere near the stables where I know Drew will be spending his time, and I barely catch the giggle that tries to force its way out of me.

No, Fergus most certainly won’t be anywhere near the stables, so I’m safe to visit Drew, at least for a little bit.

I make my way down to the stables, ensuring sure that I don’t rush or draw attention to myself as I go. I keep a steady pace and take my time, allowing myself to enjoy and take in the gorgeous scenery.

There are so many beautiful flowers blooming this time of year, and the tree blossoms are particularly eye catching.

The fact that I had several orgasms under one of those trees probably plays a part in why they catch my eye so much, but that’s neither here nor there.

I chuckle to myself and sigh, shaking my head as my thoughts continue to wander.

If anyone would have told me a week ago that I’d be fantasizing about leaving my would-be husband for another man that I’d only just met; I’d have told them that they were foolish.

But, alas, here I am, doing that exact thing.

I’m going to have to get over this crush or infatuation I have for the sake of the alliance, obviously.

But for now, I’m going to have some fun.

I know I’m to be married soon, but I’m determined to get my kicks in while I can. Besides, it’s not like anyone is going to know about it.

The stable comes into view, and I make sure that no one is around to see me quietly slip inside, a sly smirk on my face.

The building is quiet—excellent.

I stroll through the stables, checking the stalls for signs of Drew, or where he might be right now.

As I turn the corner my gaze falls to an empty stall, and it’s got a huge pile of hay sitting in it, untouched. It’s clearly brand new and hasn’t been set foot on yet, and a smirk creeps onto my lips as I have an idea.

Drew and I have the place to ourselves, and there’s no risk of anyone coming to look for me here, if someone comes looking for me at all.

I can hear Drew working up ahead, and my heart flutters in my chest, a mixture of excitement and lust washing over me like a tide.

I trot towards where he is with a flirty grin on my face, giving one last glance back at the clean stall I’d discovered.

They don’t call it a ‘roll in the hay’ for nothing, right?