Chapter 15

 

 

Shannon hurried up to the door after parking. Ryan handed the delivery man money and took two bags of food. He didn’t recognize the restaurant’s uniform, but then again, he didn’t really expect to, considering Ryan probably ate at fancier restaurants far more often than he did.

Then again, he only went fancy when Peter dragged him out. He’d never cared much for expensive shit. Not that he had anything against it. His tastes were simple.

Man, why was Ryan with him? They were so different. Or were they? They were both used to hiding shit from everyone. They both knew what they wanted. They were used to things not working out as planned.

Sad, but true. Why else wouldn’t he have a man? Ryan was a great guy, with a balanced life. He didn’t flaunt his wealth. He had it, but he seemed like the kind of guy who would do just fine without.

Shannon kept a professional face on as he walked up the stairs and nodded to Ryan as the delivery man headed back to his car.

Ryan couldn’t tear his eyes from Shannon. “Welcome. Come in.” He glanced inside and lifted a shoulder.

Shannon stepped into the living room and lifted a hand to wave at Manny.

“Hey, how’re ya doin’?” he slurred.

Drunk off his ass. Yeah, he would likely pass out soon. Probably for the best.

“I’m good. You?” Shannon replied.

Manny let out an exaggerated sigh. “Shitty as fuck. But Ryan saved my ass. I might get to keep the girl.”

“Well, good luck with that.” He honestly wasn’t sure what else to say. He didn’t know Aubrey, but Ryan seemed to like her, so far.

Manny shook his head.

Ryan interrupted. “Come eat. You need something in your belly, Manny. Besides alcohol.”

“You’re right.” He sighed, pushing himself to a stand to stumble toward the table.

Shannon caught him and guided him into a chair. “You okay?”

He nodded, then tipped his head side to side. “Uh-uh.”

Ryan slid him a tray. “Eat up. It’s your favorite.”

Italian food, and at least Manny’s was loaded with carbs to soak up all the alcohol.

Shannon mouthed, “Tylenol?”

Ryan nodded and stepped away for a moment. He came back with two bottles of water, a mug of coffee, and a couple pills he gave to Manny. “Take these and drink up.”

Really, he probably should have had water instead, but Shannon didn’t argue.

Ryan winked at Shannon. “I stuck to mostly healthy for us. Hope you don’t mind.”

“I tend to eat clean eighty percent of the time. I keep active enough that works.” He probably spent too much time working out, but if he didn’t, his shoulder tightened up too damned much, and if he overdid it, he ran into problems. That’s why he tried to set a steady pace where he didn’t over exert his shoulder too often.

Ryan held eye contact. God, those blue eyes pulled him in, and if Manny wasn’t sitting there, he’d have his lips on Ryan’s in a heartbeat.

“You don’t have to try to hide it,” Manny said. “Ryan said you two are together. Doesn’t bother me. And I won’t tell a soul.”

Shannon nodded. “Good to know.” Still, he wasn’t used to public displays of affection, even around those he knew. Only when he was too drunk to think about it, which hadn’t happened in years.

He drank, just not to excess. Not after the injury. He was too worried he would do something stupid like his father by blurring out reality and getting stuck in bad memories.

Shannon dropped his gaze and took a bite of the chicken glazed with something scrumptious. He didn’t have words to define the flavor but damn, it was good.

“Where is this from?” Shannon asked.

“Minae’s. I love their food. I don’t always feel like going there. And Manny is in no condition to be out in public.”

Shannon glanced at Manny, who shrugged. “He’s right. I’m an ass when drunk. Just ask Aubrey.” He blew out a breath.

“Sounds like you were smart to get out of there before you went down that road,” Ryan offered.

“What’s her last name?” Shannon asked, out of the blue. Not so much for him. He wanted to do a background check. Maybe there was more to the story. Or maybe he was too used to conspiracies. Either way, a background check wasn’t going to hurt anything. And he’d only share the information if he pulled something bad on her. He hoped he didn’t.

“Daniels.” Manny got busy eating, unconcerned with why he asked.

Ryan looked over at him. “Everything okay with you?”

O’Neil lifted a shoulder. “Yeah. It’s a long story, though. I can tell you later, if you really want to know.”

“I do.” Ryan touched his thigh. “Honest. I’m a good listener. You can tell me anything.”

He glanced at Manny, who looked like he was halfway asleep with the fork midway to his mouth.

When he looked back, Ryan mouthed, won’t be long now.

Shannon continued to eat. One half wanted to pry more details out of Manny. The other half wanted to bury himself into Ryan until he couldn’t think of anything else.

Discussing his family issues didn’t seem like a fun time. Nope, not in the least. And still, he wanted to talk to Ryan, tell him everything, get it off his chest.

They were sharing their relationship with their closest people they could trust. Besides Paul and Peter, who did he really trust anymore? Ryan, and maybe he shouldn’t fully trust him yet, but he couldn’t stop himself. There was something there that felt so damned right he couldn’t remember ever being so sure someone could be it before. Even when he was fully in love, he was certain things could fall apart at any second.

Manny gobbled up the last couple bites of his food, drank down his coffee, and then swiped Ryan’s bottle of water before chugging that. Then he pressed a hand to his stomach and groaned. “So good. I’m going to sleep it off.” He stumbled but caught the wall, then turned for the stairs.

Shannon bit his tongue to hold back the laugh. Once Manny was gone, he asked, “What do you know about Aubrey?”

“He met her at Vibe and she’s a counselor. And she’s not at all interested in celebrities.”

“Will it bother you if I run her through a background check?”

Ryan shook his head. “I considered that, but wasn’t sure if that was an invasion of privacy.”

“Well, I don’t know him well enough. And I certainly don’t know her. And I have a feeling meeting her with you is out of the question.”

“If you wanted to, I’m sure we could make it work. I don’t know her, though. I haven’t spent any time with her. I only know she seems to be taking his issues well. I don’t know what her goal is.” He rubbed his face. “And I would say all the women at Vibe were looking for celebrities, but Leona wasn’t when Luke pushed his way into her life.”

O’Neil chuckled. “That so?”

“Yeah. She was not looking for anyone. Her friend dragged her there.” He chuckled. “Mona is a riot, and Luke couldn’t resist Leona. Didn’t take her long to fall for him.”

“You like her?”

He nodded. “Look, my infatuation with him doesn’t mean much. It was never going to happen, I knew it. And since you showed up, I haven’t been thinking about him, other than as my friend, which he’s been for ages.”

“Hey, Ryan. You don’t have to explain. I know who you want.”

“You.” Ryan leaned forward, and O’Neil met him halfway, taking a kiss from his lips.

 

* * * *

 

If Manny wasn’t there, Ryan would be tempted to let Shannon do what he wanted to him on the table. God, he was hungry for everything that man had to offer.

“Upstairs?”

“Definitely.”

“We can talk before I help you forget about all of it,” Ryan said. In fact, he wanted O’Neil to confide in him about everything. He wanted to crack him wide-open. So far, they hadn’t discussed much that was personal. Sad, but true.

Ryan took the plates to the sink and left them there. He would worry about them later.

“In a hurry?” Shannon asked.

“Hmm, been a long day. And as much as I want you, I want to know more about you and what you’re going through.” And there would be touching involved. He had a feeling Shannon wasn’t going to talk forever, if at all. He hoped he would open up some.

Shannon shut the bedroom door and walked over to the window to stare out. “What do you want to know?”

“What’s going on with your family, Shannon?”

He turned, leaning against the wall, his eyes closed with a slight smile on his full lips. “I like the way that sounds on your tongue.”

Ryan grinned. “Don’t change the subject.”

He blew out a breath. “My father disowned me when I left the military. Keep in mind, at the time, we weren’t sure I would ever have full use of my left arm. I couldn’t feel my fingers it was so jacked up. There were no easy recovery options. It was going to take time, and nothing was guaranteed. I immediately took the honorable discharge. He was pissed, told me I should have fought to stay. But I was done. I knew even if I got healthy again, I wasn’t ever going back. I couldn’t do it anymore. Some of the men I served with came back different, and I was headed down that road. I didn’t want to wind up where they were, especially if I got the use of my arm back.”

“So, because you didn’t stick with it, he cut you out?”

“The navy had to force him to retire. He didn’t go willingly. And now he’s dying. Stage four lung cancer. My sister thought I would call him, but nope. Why? He hates my choices. And the thing that sealed that was the man I was with when I was first injured. Not that it lasted long after that.” He snorted.

“He called?” Ryan asked.

O’Neil rubbed one hand. “After I called my sister. She was there with him, and apparently, he really did want to talk to me, but I’m beyond it. I didn’t need the apology, or the explanation. I tried to follow in his footsteps to a degree. I went beyond him and reached for the SEALs, just so I wouldn’t be anywhere near him. And then the injury made me look at my life and realize as much as I was good at what I did, I didn’t love it anymore. I wanted something else. I left. He didn’t get it.”

His father was an ass. Ryan shook his head. “And there was no guarantee you’d heal?”

Shannon paced away and came back. “None. I have more pins in my shoulder than I can count. And he expected me to be superman and bounce back.” Shannon shook his head, pain filling his eyes. “Then he walked in on Peyton and me kissing, before he decided he couldn’t be with a cripple.” He snorted. “Anyway, my father couldn’t handle any of it. He didn’t want anything to do with me after that. I wasn’t going to call him. He needed to come to me. Not the other way around.”

“And he called?” Ryan prompted, digging deeper.

He snorted. “Yeah. Right after I hung up with my sister. She was there. And he apologized, which doesn’t matter now. I didn’t care about that. I stopped seeking his approval the second I decided to take another path in the navy.”

“Which was when?”

“While prepping for the SEALs. Look, he didn’t understand how a masculine man could give up on his career. And he sure as hell couldn’t understand how I could be with a man.”

Ryan moved closer. “But you weren’t happy in that career in the end?”

“No. Not in a long time. That’s why it was so easy for me to walk away.”

Ryan twined his fingers through his and pulled him to the bed. He sat O’Neil down, kicked off his shoes, and climbed behind him to massage his shoulder, focusing on the scarred part where the muscle was tighter. “And now he wants you to forgive him?”

He could imagine how hard that would be. A father who shut him down, turned him away, because he didn’t choose the same path, and then the bastard wanted forgiveness?

“I told him I did. Shit, I don’t even know what I feel. He’s set in his ways. He was never going to change or open his mind, so why should I worry about what he’s thinking?”

“Yeah, I get that.”

O’Neil toed off his boots and turned to capture Ryan’s gaze. “I told him if he was still around after I finished with this contract, I would come out. Well, I would for my sister. She’s taking it hard. But she was always daddy’s little girl. I don’t get it, but she was.” He blew out a breath.

“Were you more of a mama’s boy?”

“Maybe?” He lifted a shoulder. “I talked to Mom after Dad. She’s proud of me because I told him the right thing. Why hold onto shit after the fact? He’s suffering. I didn’t figure I had a good reason to make it worse on him. I was an ass at first, but he said what he needed to. And really, I’ll be out there for Shelley, not him. Not even for long. She knows that I swing both ways, and she can’t understand that any better.”

“Ever been in love with a woman?” Ryan asked, changing the subject. Suddenly the answer mattered, and he wasn’t sure why. It wasn’t any different than loving a man.

“I thought I was, but I don’t know anymore. It didn’t last. I’ve always had a stronger connection to men, but my job made that a pretty damned big secret.”

“Are secrets a problem?” Ryan asked. Now the answer truly mattered.

O’Neil turned toward him and caressed his face. “It’s funny. I thought I was done with secrets, but with you, I don’t care. I get it. Any other case would probably piss me off, but I don’t want to hurt your career. I just want you.”

Ryan slipped his fingers into Shannon’s hair and pressed a kiss to his lips. “Need you even more.” He pulled him down.

O’Neil gripped his wrist. “Do the secrets bother you?”

“Not as long as you share any current secrets with me. I know there are probably classified missions in your past. You can keep those to yourself. Just anything that pertains to present day that you can discuss.”

“I’ll tell you anything, Ryan.”

The emotion behind those words twisted through Ryan. He pulled Shannon’s hips closer and rubbed their erections together.

“Need more skin,” Shannon groaned. “Want all of you.”

“You have me,” Ryan answered, reaching into his pants.