Chapter 26

 

 

The day crawled by. Ryan was ready for Shannon. He had never dreaded filming out of the country more than he did then. Long-distance had always fallen apart for him, and this time he wanted to make it work. Hell, he was ready to scream from the rooftops he was gay, and Shannon O’Neil had his heart. But that was something they needed to discuss first.

He pulled into his driveway and parked. Shannon wasn’t right behind him. A first in a while. Ryan had driven the speed limit, didn’t run any red lights, but apparently, he lost Shannon.

Hopefully, everything was all right, and he’d be there shortly. Maybe he had to stop? God, Ryan hated not knowing.

Time to make dinner. He would have ordered out, but he wanted to focus on anything but what could potentially go wrong. Shannon would call if he wasn’t coming. He either had to deal with family or business, which Ryan probably kept him from too much.

Manny called, and Ryan answered. “Hey, what’s up?” He went to the fridge to pull out vegetables and chicken.

“Just checking on you. Seeing how you are. I haven’t heard from you much since last week.”

“We were on the yacht, that’s all. And today was busy. How are you? Everything good with Aubrey?”

“Very. We’re going to a fundraiser event Friday and having dinner at Mom’s Saturday.”

“That’s great.”

“So, you’re home? Is Shannon there?”

“Uh, no. Not yet. He stopped to deal with something. He should be here soon.” He hoped.

“You two have been inseparable. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen you like that.” Manny chuckled. “Wish Mom could see you two together. Maybe she’d stop hoping for the impossible.”

“I don’t know. I have a feeling she’d see two masculine men and be even more confused.”

“She just wants you to have kids because I tend to be a mess,” Manny said. “And Gemma is her baby.”

“Yeah, well, that’s not for her to decide.”

“Like I said, wish she could see you two together, because she may realize how right you two are together.”

Ryan rolled his eyes. “Not this week. Maybe after filming. Besides, she’s too busy with our little sister.”

“And me. She’s been spending a lot of time with me, driving me crazy,” Manny muttered.

“Oh no, why?”

“Now that Gemma’s tour is over, she wants to make sure I’m with a good woman. And Mom loves Aubrey.”

“That’s good. She hated Tara.”

“Yeah, and every other woman I’ve brought home,” Manny said. “So yeah, she’s probably right about Aubrey. She’s never wrong where I’m concerned.”

“Tell me you aren’t still paranoid about Aubrey.”

“No, I’m not. It feels good to say. And she recommended someone for me to talk to. It’s helped immensely. I’m even looking at a condo in Shannon’s building.”

“Oh, that’s cool.”

“I guess I should let you go. I just wanted to check on you.”

“Breakfast tomorrow? We’ll have to hurry in between the gym and training, but I’d love to eat with you, if you have the chance.”

“I’ll be there.” He hung up, and Ryan worked on cooking.

 

* * * *

 

The phone rang, and O’Neil pressed the button on his headset to take the call. Shelley’s sobbing made him pull over. “What’s going on, Shelley. You okay?”

“No. He’s begging for you. I don’t know what to do. He’s coughing up blood like crazy. The doctor says he doesn’t have much time.”

“I can talk to him, but I can’t come out, Shelley. I’m sorry.”

“I know, I know. Just talk to him. I don’t think he’s going to make it.”

He scrubbed a hand over his face and let out a breath. He knew it made him a bastard, but he hoped Dad died before then.

Dad’s voice came on. He sounded like hell. “Shannon, please, take care of your sister when I’m gone.”

“I will.”

Dad started coughing, hacking really. His sister’s sobbing in the background broke his heart.

Shannon cleared his throat. “Dad, don’t fight it. You’re in pain. Let go. I swear I’ll take care of Shelley.”

“Don’t be like me. Don’t hold grudges, Shannon.” More coughing.

“I won’t.” Tears filled his eyes. Was he holding a grudge? No, he didn’t want to go to his father, but at the same time, the man didn’t deserve anything from him.

“You’re punishing Shelley for my mistakes.” His words were broken and choppy.

“No, I’m not. I’m coming out after this contract. I can’t make it before Saturday. You’re the one who taught me not to break my commitments.” Not that Dad followed through on that unless it was work related. No, he fucked over his commitment to Mom. He broke every promise he ever made to Shannon. The only one he kept promises to was Shelley, and only if work didn’t come up. And if Shelley needed someone to lean on for any reason other than her father’s cancer, he would have made it work.

“Family is more important than anything.”

Shannon held back the snort. “I’m doing what I can from here for my sister. And if you truly believed that, you wouldn’t have done what you did. Now I really don’t want to hear that bullshit about family coming out of your mouth. It makes you a hypocrite. And I’m sorry, but you can’t expect the I’m-dying card to work for you right now.”

“You’re just like me.”

Shannon wanted to scream, but he reined it in. “No, I’m not. I don’t abandon those I love because I don’t agree with them.”

“You abandoned your sister.”

“No, I’m still talking to her even though she’s at your side, trying to get me to throw away my career to come out there for a man who can’t agree to disagree.” He sighed. “Look, I hope you have an easy passing. I do. I forgive you. But I’m not dropping everything to fly out when I have too much going on here right now.”

“Another man?” Dad started hacking and didn’t stop.

Shelley came on finally. “You really don’t care about him, do you?”

“If I didn’t care at all I would have hung up before now.”

“Is it a man keeping you from coming out here?” the accusation in her voice pissed him off.

“No, my job is. But I don’t expect you to understand. Take care of him. I’ll see you this weekend. I need to go.” He hung up without waiting for a response and dialed his mother.

She answered quickly. “Shannon, how are you?”

“I’m good. Look, can you go to Shelley? I know she’s with Dad, but I really can’t get out there until this weekend, and she is driving me fucking crazy. One minute she claims she gets it, then Dad throws in the suspicion that a guy is preventing me from coming. And fine, that is part of it, but that is not the whole reason.”

“I’m actually on my way. She called me first, in tears. I told her to call you, and not ask you to come out, but I can see she doesn’t want to listen.”

“Sorry.”

“No, no, it’s not you. Your father wants to feel like he isn’t the asshole he knows he is. And you know Shelley thinks the world of him. I don’t know what to tell you other than he’s a fool and he doesn’t realize what he’s lost.”

Shannon ran his hand over his short hair. “That’s his own damned fault.”

“He seems to know now. He asked me for advice.” She laughed. “I told him to leave you the hell alone if you didn’t want to talk, but you had to take the good guy route and hear him out. Now he’s not going to stop pushing you on the matter.”

“Yeah, well I should know better. But I figured I couldn’t make it worse on a dying man. Just, do what you can for Shelley. I really can’t come until Saturday. I have too much going on.”

“I’ll make sure she understands. Just try not to mention this person you’re with while you’re here.”

He snorted. “Dad’s the one who started that conversation. He decided I must be with a man and blamed me not coming on that.”

“I know you’d be here if it wasn’t work related. I’m sure he’s making it easier to stay away, but I can’t say I blame you.”

“Maybe one day you’ll meet him. Maybe even Shelley. If she can accept the fact that love isn’t always between a man and a woman.”

Mom perked up. “It’s love?”

“Yeah, but it’s still early, and this time apart will determine if it can even last. We have obstacles to overcome, and I have to figure out if it’s going to be worth it.”

“If it doesn’t work, then he’s not worth your time.”

“Yeah, but there are a million things that could tear us apart that we can’t overcome, and it wouldn’t be our fault.”

“I don’t see how. If it’s worth it, you’ll fight for it.”

“We’ll see, won’t we?”

“You sound like you’re giving up.”

“No. I’m being realistic. I just know this might be harder than anything else I’ve dealt with.”

“Good luck with him. You deserve a good man.”

“Thank you. For that, and for going to Shelley.”

“It’s my job. I’ll let you know what happens today.”

“Thanks. Bye, Mom. Give Shelley my love.” He clicked the phone off and pulled back onto the road.

Shannon considered calling Ryan, but he wasn’t ready to stop for that. Besides, he was only a few minutes from Ryan where he could tell him the new mess he was dealing with. Maybe he could offer some sound advice.

Then again, what would Ryan know about his crazy family or how to deal with them. He loved his sister, but she was seriously testing his patience with this back and forth bullshit. Claiming to understand, only to push harder to get him out there.

Only minutes passed before he pulled into Ryan’s driveway and made his way into the garage. He waited for the door to go down, and then went inside.

Ryan moved around the kitchen, cooking dinner. It smelled wonderful and he had to smile as he closed the distance.

“Sorry for the delay. My sister called and I had to deal with her, then my father. I may not have to see my dad after all.”

Ryan paused, then turned toward him. “Maybe you should go early.”

Shannon shook his head. “Fuck that. I am not going until Saturday morning. I’m not walking away from this contract for him. I get my sister thinks she needs me, but she needs to stand on her own two feet and own her decisions, just like I am.”

“I don’t know what your family is like, but I know if I had the means to do it, I would go to them in a time like this. Even just for my sister.”

“Contractually, I can’t. And I don’t want to. I said what I needed to on the phone and he decided it meant a man was keeping me from going to my sister. And yes, you’re part of the reason, but I committed to this training, I plan to finish it.”

Ryan caught his face and kissed him hard. “As long as I’m not the only reason.”

Shannon pushed him back, his eyes narrowed. “You would be a good enough reason. And if I could say a damned word about who I’m with and the man you are, I would have told him you’re the main reason. But I don’t want to fuck up your career.”

“And what if I told you I don’t care who knows?”

“Don’t, Ryan. I’m not standing in the way of your career. I can have you, and no one needs to know. I’m fine with that. Honest to God, I’m good with this being a secret among those we trust.”

He nodded. “And what happens when I want the world to know who owns my heart?”

“Do I?” Shannon asked.

Ryan nodded. “Yeah, you do. And I figured that was obvious.”

He stood there, staring at Ryan. He never thought Ryan would be the one to admit it first, but then again, he figured no one would actually say the words because he’d gotten it in his head shit was going to fall apart.

“I love you,” Ryan said, staring into his eyes. “Say something, Shannon, and it doesn’t have to be that. Just fucking say something.”

“I love you, Ryan. I just—I didn’t think you’d say it.”

“Yeah, well, I did.” He blew out a breath. “I really hate that I’m going to be traveling for four months. I want to be with you. And I’m fucking jealous of Luke having Leona there the whole damned time. It’s not fair.”

Shannon couldn’t stop the grin from spreading. “I’m sorry. God, I wish there was some way that would work, but I’m sure I’d only get in your way. You have a job to do. So do I. We’ll make this work.”

“That’s what I want to hear. That it can work.”

“It can. It will. And I have to deal with my family anyway.”

“Yeah, I wish I could go with you.” Ryan slipped his fingers into Shannon’s pocket and dragged him closer.

Shannon wrapped his hands around the sides of Ryan’s waist. “No. Not right now. I want you to meet my mother. But I’m not sure about anyone else. Shit, my sister doesn’t get it.”

Ryan leaned in, brushing his lips over Shannon’s ear. “Think she will if she sees you in love?”

“Maybe. Honestly, I don’t know.”

“Tell me you wouldn’t give me up to please her.” The vulnerability in Ryan’s tone tore into Shannon.

He caught Ryan’s chin and forced him to make eye contact. “Hell no. You’re mine and no one is changing that.”

Ryan wrapped his hand around the back of Shannon’s head and connected their mouths in a desperate kiss. Shannon speared his fingers into Ryan’s blond hair and pulled his head back, kissing down his throat.

The smoke alarm went off.

Ryan pulled away with a muttered curse as he took the skillet and dumped it in the sink while Shannon turned the fan on over the stove.

“Shit, sorry. You had me worried when you didn’t show up. Then you distracted me.”

Shannon chuckled. “I’d be sorry, but it was a good distraction.”

“Minae’s?

Shannon’s head tipped slightly. “You want to take me out? On a date?”

“Yes, and I really don’t care if someone notices.”

Shannon wet his bottom lip. “Yeah, we can do dinner.”

“Just you and me,” Ryan said. “I’m not inviting anyone else. And even if I don’t touch you, I want to take you out.”

“You have no argument from me.”

 

* * * *

 

Dinner had been perfect. Quiet, romantic, even if their feet were the only things to touch. By the time they got home, Ryan needed Shannon in the worst possible way.

Saying the words he’d only said to one other freed something inside him. Everything felt more real. As long as they both tried, he couldn’t imagine anything happening to tear them apart.

He pulled Shannon inside and toward the bedroom. “Tell me you can turn off the phone.”

“It’s been off since I pulled into your garage.” Shannon pushed him toward the bed, then peeled Ryan’s T-shirt from his body, yanking it over his head, and threw it on the floor.

Ryan went for Shannon’s pants, shoving them down his thighs. Then closed his mouth over Shannon’s bottom lip, sucking hard as he unbuttoned the shirt hiding his sculpted body. Leaning down, he licked the scar over his pec and sank his teeth in.

“Fuck, Ryan,” he groaned, fumbling with Ryan’s belt, then tearing his pants open to force them down Ryan’s hips before pushing him on the bed.

The drawer slid open, foil tore, then a cap snapped. Fuck, he wanted Shannon. One hand gripped Ryan’s ass, pulling him open. One slick finger ran a circle over the tight hole.

“Now, please,” he begged.

Shannon pressed one finger in slowly, then two. Ryan clenched the sheet, pushing back to meet each thrust.

“I’m ready,” Ryan assured.

He didn’t hesitate. Shannon pushed into him, then grabbed his hips, taking his pace hard and fast.

“Damn it, yes!” Ryan grunted.

 

* * * *

 

Ryan was everything Shannon wanted. He could take control or surrender without hesitation. The man seemed to know what he needed every damned time they got close.

Everything Shannon needed was right there with him.

Shannon put one knee beside Ryan’s and pushed deeper, needing to become a part of him so he never forgot who he loved.

So damned tight, and the sounds coming out of Ryan drove him to make an impression. He needed more contact.

Leaning down, Shannon wrapped an arm around Ryan’s chest and pulled him upright until his back pressed against his chest as he pounded into him.

Ryan turned his head, capturing Shannon’s mouth with his own. His heart thumped harder, emotion boiling over. Ryan jerked off in time with Shannon’s rhythm. They synched so easily.

“Come, Ryan, damn it, come,” Shannon pleaded. He couldn’t last much longer.

He cried out Shannon’s name, his body jerking with release. Shannon followed, holding his hips still as he kissed where neck met shoulder.

Ryan pulled him down and Shannon wrapped his arms around him, holding on. He wasn’t sure how he was going to make it four months without that kind of connection, but they would figure it out.

“You’re everything I need,” Ryan said, running a thumb under Shannon’s jaw.

“You’re it, Ryan.” He connected their mouths, pulling him tighter.