Chapter 27

 

 

Saturday morning, Shannon lay in the bed, watching Ryan sleep. Perfection. That was the only word he had for Ryan. Blond hair lay in a hundred directions, scruff covered his jaw. His body was powerful, hard, and so damned gorgeous.

He didn’t want to leave. The cast had already thrown him a party at Paul’s restaurant. And they had to pretend nothing was going on for Alexa and Keenan. It had been torture to keep his hands to himself, but he managed.

Worth it. Ryan made sure he knew who owned his heart when they got home. The whole week had been like that, ever since Monday when they said the words that changed everything.

His dad was still holding on. He’d talked to the bastard twice more since Monday, and he was being such an asshole, Shannon thought about canceling the trip, but he promised Shelley he’d be there.

Man, he wished he hadn’t.

The alarm went off and he turned to swipe it off before sitting up.

Ryan wrapped an arm around him and pulled him back into his embrace. “Not yet. Not ready to let you go.”

“Wish I could stay.” He turned over, looking into those sad blue eyes. “I promised my sister.”

“I know. Doesn’t mean I like it.”

Shannon turned to face him. “What do you want me to do?”

“Go. You need to. We’ll talk.” Ryan gulped, then rolled back to stare at the ceiling. “I could just come out, let the world know. Take a day with you. Change my flight and fly from there tomorrow.”

“Are you ready for what happens when you do? Your career would likely change. I can’t think of one openly gay action star. Can you?”

He sighed. “I could go behind the scenes.”

“I don’t want you to mess up your life when we can still do this our way.” Shannon ran his thumb across his cheek. “Is this really any different than anything you’ve done in the past?”

“Completely.” Ryan sighed. “I didn’t love them, not like this. The thought of hiding forever seems so damned stupid right now.”

“Look, finish this movie. Let’s see where we stand then. Okay?”

“Why does it matter? It’s my career.”

“You want to play Blake. There are four books. That’s four movies, at least. At least wait for this movie.”

Ryan gripped his wrist. “That sounds like the end.”

Shannon climbed out of bed, staring at him and held his hands up. “I’m sorry. Why? I’m looking out for the career you built.”

Ryan followed him, staring back. “And if I’d rather be honest for once in my damned life?”

“Be honest with me, not the world. It doesn’t change a damned thing for us to keep it quiet. At least for now. You’re going to be in another damned country for months. And I need to deal with my family and my business. So, for this movie, wait. I’ll be here when you come back. I’ll be on the phone, Skype, whatever. I’ll be there. But we both have stuff we have to do.”

Ryan snorted. “Fine.”

“What is going through your head?” Shannon demanded.

Ryan stepped closer, anger in his eyes. “I’m telling you I’m ready for everyone to know. Why aren’t you?”

“That’s not it, Ryan. Telling people doesn’t change a damned thing about my life. It could change damn near everything for you.”

“You’re going to see pictures of me with Raven.”

“So fucking what? I know you don’t like tits and pussy. I’ve got what you need. I’m not a damned moron.”

“And what if you find a woman?” Ryan whispered.

He grabbed Ryan’s shoulders. “I’m not going to find a woman who replaces you. I haven’t looked at a single other person since we met. And that’s not going to change while you’re gone.”

“You sure? Sounds like a cop-out to me,” Ryan fired back.

“What do I need to do to prove I’m yours?”

Ryan dropped his head and let out a breath. “You could have anyone. You’re fucking perfect, Shannon. Why would you wait for me when it has to be a dirty fucking secret?”

“The only dirty thing between us is what we do behind closed doors and I sure as hell am not ashamed of that side of us. I don’t give a damn if we keep a secret forever to protect the roles you get. I doubt you’re the first or will be the last to do it. I just need you, even if no one else ever learns.”

Ryan closed the distance, grabbing the back of his head, and fused his mouth to Shannon’s. When he leaned back, he promised, “One day, I’m going to stop hiding, and I want you at my side when I do.”

“I’ll be there. This isn’t over. Just one movie and we can revisit this conversation.”

“You’re all I want, Shannon. I want everyone to know you’re mine.”

“And everyone important to me knows you’re all I want. I don’t care what anyone else knows. Now, I have to go, because if I don’t, I’ll break my promise to my sister, and I can’t do that.”

“You shouldn’t. I’m being an asshole.”

“No, you’re not.” Shannon kissed him again. “Leaving is the last thing I want to do, but I need to.”

“I love you. Don’t forget that.”

“Don’t forget I love you too.” One last kiss, and Shannon turned away to pull on his clothes and hurry out of the house before he gave in to temptation to stay with Ryan and follow him to Canada, Italy, then New Zealand.

 

* * * *

 

Ryan watched from the window as Shannon drove away. The doubt kept creeping in, and he wanted to chase it away but couldn’t figure out how.

He dialed Luke, hoping for some brilliant words to demolish the dark spot in his head, threatening to ruin everything.

Luke answered after a few rings. “Morning, what is it?”

Ryan heard Leona sigh in the background.

“Sorry to wake you. I just—I need some advice.”

“What’s up?” Luke asked, more attentive.

“How did you manage staying away from Leona while we were filming Ladies Choice?”

“You watched me that whole time. It was hell. I just talked to her every spare moment we could find. Dude, trust him. It will be fine.”

“I hope so. I told him I’d come out and he shut that down.”

“You’ve kept it a secret this long. Why change that?”

“He’s it for me. I was waiting until I found love. I’m there. Why hide now?”

“Okay, that I get, but, Ryan, this could fuck with the roles you get. You know that, right?”

“I don’t give a damn. Hiding sucks when I’m this sure he’s the one. He’s it.”

“Well, what did O’Neil say?”

“That I should wait until after this movie to decide. Sounds to me like he wants an easy out.”

“No, sounds like he’s looking out for your career. You told me he has to deal with his dying father and grieving sister, right? You coming out might piss off a homophobic asshole.”

“He doesn’t care about his father.”

“No, but he does care about his sister. Look, maybe he doesn’t want to add stress to his family situation. But really, O’Neil seems like the type of guy who would do anything for you.”

“You’re right. He meant it. I just keep expecting everything to fall apart. I’ve never managed to keep a long-distance relationship going.”

“Well, stop. I’ll tell you right now, you just have to hold on. Besides, he’s not telling you it’s over, he’s saying wait on that kind of news. Besides, wouldn’t it be better to come out as a couple, not split apart.”

“That’s what you did?”

“Shit, you realize this isn’t the same situation, right? It’s not even close. Me winding up with a woman didn’t change anyone’s perception of me.”

“Fucking stupid,” Ryan grumbled.

“Agreed. Look, you’ll get through this. I did, you can. He’ll be there in the end.”

“I hope so.”

“Stop being pessimistic. It won’t be easy, but you’ll get through this. You just have to trust O’Neil.”

“Yeah. Thanks. I’m sure I’ll be bugging the shit out of you the whole time.”

“Hey, you listened to me whine about missing Leona. It’s the least I can do.”

“See you tomorrow.” He hung up and let out a breath. God, he already missed Shannon. Pushing himself up, he headed for the closet to start packing. Everything Luke did played back through his head, and he started to think of ways to surprise Shannon that could work for them.

Five minutes and he already wanted to call. This was going to get bad, and he really shouldn’t have given Luke so much shit for missing Leona. He had been supportive, but he did tease him mercilessly at times.

Payback would likely be a bitch, if Luke wasn’t too busy with Leona in their free time, which he definitely would be.

Fuck. At least he had Raven. She needed to find herself a man. One who treated her right. But she kept everyone but Ryan at a distance, never sharing certain secrets. Maybe that’s why they got along so well. They were both hiding who they really were.

By the time he had the two suitcases packed, his phone rang. He answered it without looking. “This is Ryan.”

“That’s cold,” Shannon said, his voice dull.

“Shit, sorry, I didn’t check who was calling. Figured you’d wait to call until after you landed.’

“Can’t stop thinking about you and how much I’m going to hate not having you next to me every night.”

“Yeah, you and me both. I’m sorry about this morning. Fuck, my brain starts going and fills with all this dumb shit, and I know that’s not you. I’m sorry.”

“Forgiven. I get it. It sounded like a snub. It wasn’t. I love that you’re willing to go there, but you aren’t thinking about the long-term. We can do this quietly long-term, no problem. No different than what you’ve done in the past.”

“And hiding sucks. I don’t want to hide forever.”

“Yeah, but we’ll figure it out. I mean it, Ryan. I’m yours. That’s not changing. Get through this movie and we can figure it out.”

“Okay. But the discussion is not over.”

“No, I don’t imagine it is.”

“Love you.”

“I love you. Stop doubting it.”

“I won’t anymore.” Ryan had no real reason to doubt Shannon.

“I’ll call when I land. I have to pick up the car and head to the hotel before the hospital. God, I’m not looking forward to dealing with him.”

“Wish I could be there.”

“Yeah, me too. But that would probably give him a stroke.”

“Probably not best to bring me in there, huh?”

“Yeah.” Shannon sighed. “Peter is going to be here any second to take me to the airport. I need to get going. We have a lot to discuss on the drive, and not enough time.”

“Be safe.”

“Thanks. I’ll talk to you later.” He hung up.

Ryan leaned against the wall, his eyes closed as he wondered what Shannon’s family was really like.

He spoke highly of his mother. Even his sister, up to a point. But he didn’t say much about his father other than the bastard had disowned him at the worst time in his life.

God, he wished he could go with Shannon, stand by his side, even if he hid at the hotel while he spent time with the asshole. Ryan had been lucky. Ryan’s family supported all of his decisions. His mother would prefer he were straight, but she accepted he wasn’t. His father just wanted him happy. His sister was great. And Manny was one of his closest friends, even if he sometimes drove Ryan crazy.

He couldn’t imagine wanting to avoid his family. Though he sure as hell didn’t blame Shannon. Mr. O’Neil sounded like a prick.

As soon as he dragged the suitcases downstairs, he grabbed the script he hadn’t spent enough time with and played catch up.