Ayla
I was dreading opening my eyes. Falling asleep last night without Alessio was painful. I had to take my sleeping pills, just in case my nightmares came back.
In the back of my mind, I had this annoying voice whispering to me that it was my fault. But the other voice fought back, telling me I needed time to think.
Holding the other pillow to my chest, I burrowed deeper under the comforter with a sigh before opening my eyes. But I quickly covered my mouth with my hand to stifle the gasp that threatened to escape at the sight in front of me.
“Alessio,” I breathed, my eyes fixated on his sleeping form.
Shoving the purple comforter from my body, I got off the bed and walked to him. He was sleeping on the chair beside the bed, his legs stretched out in front of him, his head rolled to the side in what looked like an uncomfortable position.
His suit jacket was thrown carelessly on the floor while his black shirt was unbuttoned on the top, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, showing just a little of his tattoos that ended there.
I came to a stop in front of him, my heart thumping at the sight of his face. His eyebrows were furrowed, his forehead pinched with tension even in his sleep. He looked tired, his lips turned down in a frown. Leaning forward, my fingers brushed lightly over his forehead, softly easing the tense lines.
Alessio shifted slightly under my touch, and I quickly moved my hands away. He always looked peaceful in his sleep…but this time, he looked almost in pain. And I hated it.
I hated it even more knowing that I could be the cause of his pain.
Closing my eyes, I could still see his tormented expression from last night when I had closed the door in his face.
I opened my eyes again and slowly moved my fingers over Alessio’s face, caressing him but without touching him. I traced his lips, his eyes, his nose, his eyebrows, my fingers just an inch away from his skin.
“I don’t know what to do, Alessio. I don’t know what to feel. I’m so confused,” I whispered before pulling my hand away.
When I saw his forehead furrow at the sound of my voice, I quickly stepped back. Giving Alessio’s sleeping form a final glance, I turned around and walked to the bathroom. As soon as the door was closed behind me, I leaned against it and shut my eyes.
Alessio was both my strength and my weakness. With him, my heart soared with happiness. Without him, I felt empty.
Opening my eyes again, I shook my head. “Stop thinking about it, Ayla,” I said to myself, facing the mirror. My reflection stared back at me, my face looking just as haggard as I felt.
After freshening up and getting dressed, I walked out to the door but hesitated.
Was he still there? Did he wake up yet?
I didn’t think I had the courage to see him again. If I saw him again, I knew I would forgive him in an instant and beg him to hold me.
Finally, my fingers wrapped around the knob, and I opened the door. I took a deep breath and stepped out.
The room was empty.
Alessio was gone.
My shoulder drooped low as I stared at the chair he had been sleeping in before. I didn’t know if I was sad or relieved. As my eyes stayed glued to the chair, I realized that I was secretly hoping he would still be here.
These feelings were confusing. Frustrating and definitely annoying.
I glared at the chair, my lips twisting ruefully. Shaking my head, I walked out of the room without a final glance.
Maddie was waiting for me in the kitchen, and as soon as I walked inside, she raised an eyebrow in my direction. “I saw Alessio walking out of my room,” she commented, crossing her arms over her chest.
“Yes,” I sighed. “He probably spent the night there. I woke up to see him sleeping in the chair.”
“Did you talk to him?” Lena asked. I glanced at her from the corner of my eyes, and I saw her staring at me expectantly. When I shook my head mutely, her shoulders dropped sadly.
“How long are you going to avoid him? I’m not telling you to forgive him, because he doesn’t deserve to be forgiven so easily after that stupid act, but I think you need to let him explain. Not for his sake, but for your own,” Maddie explained, her expression a little hopeful.
I knew she was right, but I just had to find the courage to confront Alessio now.
***
I had successfully avoided Alessio all morning and at lunch. It pained me to do so, but I had spent most of the day thinking. About him, us, and what had happened.
But every single time, I came to the same conclusion.
I was scared.
I was scared that what he felt for me was a lie. I was scared that he could move on so easily, forgetting me. After all, he had so many women lining up for him.
I was always second…even with Alberto. Even though he claimed that I was his, he was never mine. I had to share him with other women. He would fuck them in front of me, forcing me to watch. And then he would fuck me right after.
Closing my eyes against the painful memories, my fingers tightened around the comforter. Behind my closed lids, all I saw was Sasha coming out of Alessio’s office, holding her ripped panties. It was painful to think that Alessio had touched her so easily.
I lost track of how long I sat there lost in my thoughts, but when I finally looked at the time, it was time to prepare dinner. Getting off the bed, I walked out of my old bedroom.
I was making my way downstairs when my steps faltered at the sight of Alessio coming up. His head was cast down as he stared intently at his phone. My throat was suddenly dry, and my hand clenched the banister.
He continued upstairs, completely oblivious that I was standing in his way. But when he was a few steps below me, he froze, his head slowly coming up to stare at me.
I sucked in a harsh breath at the sight of his beautiful, tired face. His face softened, and he slowly walked up the stairs until he was one step below me. In this position, we were almost the same height.
His blue eyes, filled with pain and longing, raked over my face as he took me in with a sorrowful expression. His eyes spoke volumes.
For the first time, he was letting me see what he was feeling. It was right there in the open, his eyes shining with vulnerability, something I was sure he had never shown anyone before.
But here he was, giving me yet another part of himself.
His hand slowly came up until his finger was tracing a line down my cheek. His touch was gentle, almost feather light.
“Ayla,” he whispered, my name sliding past his lips as if he was whispering a prayer. His thumb brushed over my lips as his eyes stayed on mine.
With Alessio so close, I was lost in his captivating, pain-filled eyes. My body was instinctively drawn to him before I could think.
“Alessio,” I breathed, moving just a little closer. At the sound of my voice, he cupped my cheek, holding my face gently.
But then the connection was broken. The spell that had bound us together in that moment vanished in thin air, leaving us both stunned and completely dejected.
“Boss.”
I felt Alessio’s warm touch disappear from my face as he pulled away and turned toward the voice that had called him. Phoenix looked between us and then fixated his eyes on Alessio.
Quickly looking down, I released the breath that I hadn’t even realized I was holding. Phoenix was saying something, but I tuned him out.
Feeling disappointed that my moment with Alessio was interrupted, I avoided eye contact with him and Phoenix and continued my way down.
I felt Alessio’s eyes on me the whole time, his stares burning holes in my back. My body was strung tight with tension, and I rubbed my sweaty hands over my dress, trying hard to control my breathing and racing heart.
Stepping into the kitchen, I sent Maddie a quick smile, acting as if everything was fine when I was feeling anything but fine.
I couldn’t keep doing this any longer. It was only hurting me. But in the process, it was hurting Alessio too. And the thought of him being hurt felt like a knife stabbing in my chest.
He was a confident man. Arrogant and so sure of himself, but the Alessio standing on those stairs, he was a completely different man.
For both our sakes, I willed myself to be strong.
A hand on my arm snapped me out of my thoughts. Maddie stared at me, an eyebrow raised in question.
Swallowing nervously, I looked down at my feet and looked back up again, finally speaking my thought.
“I need your help.”