Alessio
“Who is she?”
That was the first thing Lyov asked when he walked into my office. I knew who he was talking about, but I ignored his question. I was standing on the top of the stairs when Lyov and Isaak made their first appearance. I saw Ayla freeze from a distance. My first instinct was to go to her. And I did…without a second thought.
But I realized too late what I had done.
“Alessio, I asked you a question,” Lyov growled.
“And I chose to ignore it. Now, can we discuss why you are here?”
My head snapped up when he slammed his fists on the desk. “Are you fucking stupid? After everything that happened, you let yourself get fucking weak over some girl?”
“That’s none of your business,” I hissed. Pushing my chair away, I stood up and glared at him. I saw Isaak and Viktor standing at the door, both their arms crossed over their chests, an impassive expression on their faces. Like father, like son.
Walking around the desk, I pushed Lyov away. “Stay the fuck out of this. I’m serious about this, Lyov. Don’t tell me what to do.”
“I taught you better than this. I drilled it in your head before I left. No weakness. Make sure you don’t have any weakness because that’s the first thing your enemies will go after,” he snapped, moving in my face.
Grabbing his collar in my fist, I pushed him way before yelling, “I know!”
Lyov laughed at my answer. “You know?” he mocked me, his laughter harsh around the walls of my office and to my ears. “Then explain that look in your eyes when you stared at her.”
I paused at his question, feeling the anger coursing through my body. He was pushing me, forcing me to think about what I tried to bury deep inside of me.
“You know damn well what the outcome of this will be, but you still let yourself get weak,” he continued in the same agitated tone, his face completely red with rage. My fists clenched at his words.
He was wrong. History wouldn’t repeat itself. I wouldn’t let it.
“I handed this empire, this family to you because I thought you wouldn’t make the same mistake I did,” Lyov said, his chest heaving with fury.
“I’m not you!” I roared, lurching toward him in anger. My fists made contact with his face in a loud crunch, and he fell backward against the coffee table.
From the corner of my eye, I saw Isaak moving toward us, but Lyov raised a hand to stop him. He got up and wiped his cracked, bleeding lips with his sleeves.
“That was your mistake. It was your fault. Not mine,” I hissed. “You loved Mom. You brought her into this fucked-up world, and you got her killed.”
His eyes went wild with rage, and he came toward me in full force. His fingers grabbed around my shirt and pushed me into the wall behind me. “You are right. It was my mistake, and you are making the same fucking mistake.”
Letting me go, he took a step away. “After everything, I thought you would know better. You’ll get her killed. Then you’ll lose yourself. And in the end, you’ll bring this whole family down with you.”
That was what happened in the past. Lyov almost ruined this empire, and I was the one who saved it. But I wasn’t going to make the same mistake as him.
“Stop comparing me with you!”
We both moved toward each other at the same time. I didn’t have a chance to move away before he landed a punch in my stomach. I quickly retaliated, punching him in the shoulder.
I bore an anger that had no boundaries. Lyov had snapped the last thread of my control. We rolled on the ground, both of us lost in our years of held-in fury.
His fingers wrapped around my neck, squeezing. His hold slipped when I punched him in the face. I felt someone pulling me back, but I struggled against their hold.
“Alessio, let go of him. Damn it, Alessio. Let go!” Viktor snapped, pulling me away.
Isaak helped Lyov to his feet and held him back when he tried to come at me again. Viktor was holding me back too. Our harsh breathing filled the room, the air around us chilling and tensed.
“You are right. You taught me better than this. I’m not going to make the same mistake,” I snarled, glaring at Lyov.
“Did you hear that, Isaak? He isn’t going to make the same damn mistake.” Lyov laughed without looking away from me. “You are a fool and completely delusional. What you don’t realize is that you already made the same mistake. She is already your weakness. Stop living in denial.”
I could only glare at him. At my expression, he shrugged off Isaak and moved forward. “Come to your senses before it’s too late. Get rid of her. Build that fucking wall around your heart again. Don’t do the same thing I did.”
With a dejected sigh, he shook his head. “I don’t want you to go through the same thing, Alessio,” he whispered. “I’m saving you from years of heartache.”
He took a step away from me and turned around, walking away without a second glance. Isaak followed behind him without any words.
Opening the door, he stopped in the doorway. His next words were a blow to my chest. I closed my eyes and swiveled around, facing away from him.
“Angels don’t belong in our world.”
With that as his final words to me, I heard the door close, and then it was only silence. An unbearable and painful silence. I felt suddenly empty, my heart aching at the thought of Ayla.
“Alessio…” Viktor started, but I quickly cut him off.
“Leave. Just…leave.”
He sighed but left without uttering anything else. I walked around the desk and fell on my chair, staring at the ceiling.
Lyov’s words echoed in my ears. I wanted to say he was wrong, but he wasn’t. I was living in denial. I didn’t want to think of Ayla as my weakness, but she was.
The fear of losing her was instilled inside of me…but I was powerless. Instead of pushing her away, I was holding her closer every day.
Ayla consumed every fiber of my being. Ayla was everything I couldn’t have but everything I needed.
She was my light. I’d let her into my heart where she had showered me with her sweet venom.
I was so lost in her, forgetting that I couldn’t feel what I was feeling. It was all a temporary bliss and happiness, but now reality tasted sour.
Ayla was my Angel, but I couldn’t have her.
***
I didn’t know how long I stayed like this. Hours maybe, but I couldn’t move. Eventually, a knock sounded on my door, and I opened my eyes. “Come in,” I ordered. The door opened to reveal Sasha, one of the maids, holding a tray.
“Mr. Ivanshov, Viktor told me to bring your dinner to your office,” she said.
Dinner? Looking at the clock on the wall, I saw that it was already past seven.
“Place it on the coffee table,” I replied before closing my eyes again. I expected to hear the door close, but when none of that happened, my eyes snapped open.
Sasha was standing in front of my desk. Her eyes roamed over my chest, and she bit down on her lower lip. “Alessio,” she started, her voice turning more sultry and softer. “You look really stressed out. Can I help in any way?”
With a sigh, I closed my eyes again. I used to fuck her. A pastime when I needed the distraction. But since Ayla came into my life, not once did I think of going back to Sasha. Ayla had my absolute attention.
I felt something on my crotch, and my hand quickly snaked around Sasha’s wandering fingers, stopping her movement. “Get the fuck out of here,” I snapped, pushing her hand away.
“I can make you feel good. Like always,” she whispered in my ear.
“No. Leave.”
I heard her frustrated sigh as she moved away. But Lyov’s words echoed in my ears, and my fists clenched in anger as I fought for control.
Come to your senses before it’s too late. Get rid of her. Build that fucking wall around your heart again. Don’t do the same thing I did.
Angels don’t belong in our world.
My eyes snapped open, and I moved my chair back. Standing up, I quickly grabbed Sasha’s hand, and I pulled her toward me.
I placed a hand on her back and pushed her front against the desk, bending her forward so her ass was pushed back. I heard her gasp of surprise, but then she moaned, moving her ass against my cock.
“Fuck me, Alessio.”
I grabbed a handful of her hair and pulled her head back. “Don’t tell me what to do,” I hissed in her ear.
“Hmm, okay. Do whatever you want,” she murmured huskily. Releasing her hair, I moved her dress upward until her red lace thong was visible.
Angels don’t belong in our world.
I squeezed my eyes shut against the words, my fingers digging into Sasha’s hips. Blindly moving my hand to her thong, I ripped it away and dropped it on the floor. I let go of her to unbutton my slacks and pulled my cock out.
Angels don’t belong in our world.
I kicked her legs open, my body pressed against hers. Without touching her, I already knew she was wet and ready for me. The tip of the soft cock brushed against her inner thigh. Sasha let out a moan and wiggled closer to me.
At the sound of her moan, my eyes snapped open. Fuck. No.
What the fuck am I doing?
Pushing away from her body, I stumbled back, completely horrified at what I was about to do. I couldn’t this. Not to my Ayla. She trusted me. She gave me herself. I couldn’t betray her like this.
Shame filled my body, and I sucked in a painful breath. “Get out. Get the fuck out now,” I growled, zipping my pants again.
“But…” She glanced over her shoulders, her face a mask of confusion. Just then, the door crashed open, and I saw Viktor coming in. He took his gun out and pointed it at Sasha.
“Get out before I blow your fucking brains out,” he snapped. Sasha gasped in shock and fear before quickly bending down and grabbing her ripped panties. She ran out of the room, closing the door behind her with a bang.
“Are you serious?” Viktor roared at me, his eyes glistening with anger and disgust.
“Don’t.” I raised a hand, but he talked over me.
“Were you going to fuck her?”
“No!” I quickly answered. “I stopped.”
Shaking his head, he walked toward me. “Are you really going to let your father’s words take over your head? Are you going to let him control your life?”
“No,” I growled.
Viktor shook his head. “What’s Ayla to you?”
“It wasn’t supposed to be like this, Viktor. None of this was supposed to happen. My plan was to get close to Ayla to make her reveal her truth. We had to know if she was a traitor. That was the fucking plan,” I snapped, running my fingers to my hair in frustration.
That was the plan from the beginning. Get close to Ayla, gain her trust, and make her reveal her truth. But it didn’t end that way.
“I wasn’t meant to feel anything,” I ended brokenly.
“I know,” he agreed softly. “But that’s not the plan anymore. That plan ended the same day it was made. It ended the moment you gave her your jacket and you felt her tears as if they were your own.”
“He’s right. Ayla will be my downfall,” I whispered, turning around to face the window.
It was pitch black outside, so similar to the darkness inside of me. I closed my eyes and leaned my forehead against the glass. “I can’t lose her, Viktor. She is everything.”
“If something happens to her because of me…” I started but didn’t finish the sentence. I couldn’t bring myself to say the words. I couldn’t imagine myself without Ayla. She was a part of me.
“I agree. Lyov was right. She is your weakness,” Viktor replied coldly. I sucked in a harsh breath, my chest squeezing tightly in pain.
“But she is also your strength,” he finished. My heart raced at his words, and I opened my eyes, swiveling around to face him.
He nodded with a sigh, his eyes turning slightly softer. “You’ve changed a lot since she came into our lives. Ayla is your strength. She is the one who’s going to stop you from stumbling in the darkness every time. It’s for you to choose if you’ll let her be your weakness or your strength.”
Sinking down on my chair, I placed my head in my hands. How was I going to protect Ayla?
“Don’t hurt her, Alessio. After all she’s been through, she doesn’t deserve to be hurt by you.”
“I don’t want to, Viktor. For the first time in my life, I don’t know what to do.” I spoke my harrowing thoughts, the words tasting bitter against my lips.
“Only you can answer that. Just remember one thing, though.” Viktor paused, and I looked up, waiting for him continue. “She is your Angel.”
With that, he gave me a nod and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.
My Angel.
Rubbing my hands over the back of my neck, I tried to relieve the tense muscles there. I spent hours thinking about what Lyov and Viktor said. I paced, frustration building inside of me with each passing minute.
The next time I checked the clock, it was almost ten. Ayla would be waiting for me in the piano room. Closing my eyes, I sighed. Ayla’s smiling face flashed behind my closed eyelids. After many frustrating hours, I came to only one conclusion.
I needed Ayla.
Remembering my father’s words from twenty years ago, I stood up.
An angel is the person you can’t see yourself living without. Don’t ever let her go. Because if you lose her, then you will forever be incomplete.
He was right. I would be incomplete without Ayla. I thought about her sweet voice, gentle touch and kisses, and her loving eyes. She was mine.
As I walked out of my office, I prayed that Ayla could forgive me. I had to tell her the truth about Sasha. I didn’t fuck her, but I still touched her. I wasn’t going to lie. Ayla didn’t deserve anything less.
I also prayed that she accepted me. I wasn’t going to change. I was still the Boss and would be until my last breath. I prayed she was ready for this fucked-up life.
I stopped in front of the piano room and took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. All I wanted was to hold her in my arms and forget everything.
Opening the door, I stopped when I saw the room empty and dark.
What the fuck?
Quickly walking out of the piano room, I made my way to our room. I opened the door and saw it was only gently illuminated with the lamp on the nightstand.
Ayla was sitting on the edge of the bed, facing the wall. The soft glow danced over her beautiful face as she sat stoically.
“Ayla?” I questioned, walking further into the room and closing the door behind me.
“Cold. Ruthless. Heartless. Arrogant. Killer. Unlovable. Alessio Ivanshov can’t love or be loved. Those are all the words that you are known as, right?”
Ayla’s words stopped me dead in my tracks, my heart stuttering at her bleak, distant tone. She let out a small laugh, shaking her head.
“Ayla, what are you talking about?” I asked, panic welling inside of me. I didn’t like her tone or the way she avoided looking at me. She didn’t sound like my Ayla.
“I wanted to believe you were different,” she whispered, this time her voice breaking over the words.
I lurched forward, desperately wanting to wrap her in my arms and erase all her sorrow. Ayla’s head snapped toward me, and I sucked in a painful breath at her expression.
Her eyes were filled with tears, her face red and filled with pain and grief. She looked at me as if I betrayed her.
The look in her eyes was enough to tell me what I needed to know.
No. No. No. I panicked.
“I thought you were different.” She wiped her tears away. “But I was wrong.”