Valerie
Fifty-one…fifty-two…fifty-three…fifty-four…fifty-five…fifty-six.
I recounted the tally marks again.
Fifty-six.
A round fifty-six.
Fifty-six days.
Sixty days since our gazes first met.
Fifty-six days since I met Viktor and shared our first words.
Twenty-four days since I kissed Viktor for the first time.
I recounted the tally marks again, memorizing those dates.
Memorizing our moments again…and again. They were ingrained in my memories, never to be forgotten.
First look. First touch. First kiss. Every touch after that. And every kiss after that.
Every soft look…heated look after the first.
The burning desire built in the pit of my stomach and traveled all the way to my heart, clenching and hooking there—forever to stay.
I was still looking at the paper when I felt a hand on the back of my neck.
The softest touch—but I could feel the possessiveness in the way he gripped me. I relaxed and closed my eyes, already knowing who it was.
His touch—I had it memorized. My body knew it, and I welcomed him.
Leaning back into his warm body, I let out a soft sigh. This was my favorite moment. When he would sneakily enter my room, and spend all the little time we had…together.
We stayed like this, him holding me, and I leaning into him. My anchor.
Finally, I opened my eyes and turned around. He stared down at me through unsmiling eyes. But I knew, those dark cold eyes, they could be so gentle.
His fingers trailed up my neck, and he thumbed my lips. I shivered against his touch and leaned into him for more. Viktor’s forehead dropped to mine, and we breathed.
He closed his eyes tightly, as if he was fighting some kind of demon…like he was in pain.
I wrapped my arms around him, holding him to me. I laid down on my back and pulled him on top of me. The bed cushioned our weight. He buried his face between my breasts and just stayed there—silent and holding me so tight.
We held each other.
Another moment to memorize.
Finally, he looked up at me, his eyes filled with so many indescribable emotions. Bringing a hand up, I caressed his face gently. He burrowed his cheek into my palm and placed a kiss there.
Viktor then kissed my lips sweetly. I savored the kiss because I didn’t know for how long I had it.
He pulled away slightly and gave me a small smile. “You once said you wished to see outside this room. Just for a moment you wanted to step out and explore a little.”
I nodded, waiting for him to continue.
“I have found a way, Valerie.”
His words made my heart stutter, and my eyes widened. How?
He saw the question in my eyes and replied, without needing me to voice it out. “There is a party. I convinced Valentin to let you attend.”
My heart exploded, and my stomach filled with wild butterflies. Tears stung my eyes, but I blinked them away.
With Viktor, tears were not needed. With him, I was strong.
“I know it’s not what you had in mind. But for now, this is all what I can give you, baby.”
I palmed his cheeks, wanting him to see my words. He watched my lips as I mumbled silently.
This is enough.
His forehead touched mine again. I loved when he would do that. There was something so soothing in it—like we were connected in some ways. Maybe he felt the same way, because his eyes always softened when our foreheads would touch.
“One day…one day, I promise. One day, I will get you out of here. I will steal you away. Forever.”
…and I will wait for that day. I will wait…for you.
I smiled and leaned up. Our lips met, and we kissed. We just…kissed.
***
The day was here.
The day of the party.
My dress was placed on the bed.
A different dress from usual.
I didn’t know who chose it or who brought it for me. I had walked out of my bathroom to find it on my bed.
It was long and white, made with beautiful lace patterns. The dress was also covered with a few pearls, making it slightly heavy. My sleeves were long but with a cut in the middle. It came together at my wrist. It wasn’t high neck. Actually, the cut was pretty low. It was the most skin I had ever shown while being dressed in a very long time. My blonde hair was up in a twisted bun, with a few strands of hair falling on either side of my temple.
I didn’t look at myself in the mirror. I couldn’t bring myself to. Closing my eyes, I brought my hand up and touched the collar that was always present.
I let out a loud breath and opened my eyes again.
Don’t think of it, Valerie.
Think of Viktor.
He is waiting for you.
I walked out of the room, repeating those words. I descended the stairs slowly and felt everyone’s eyes on me.
My palms grew sweaty, and I trembled, my legs shaking.
You can do this, Valerie.
A few more stairs…
I caught his eyes.
I was breathless. Breathless for him. Only for him. Always for him. My heart danced. Oh, how it danced so wildly and beautifully for him.
His brown eyes never left mine.
He stared…and stared…and never looked away.
I didn’t look away either as I stepped down the rest of the stairs.
I realized that I didn’t have to look in the mirror.
Viktor’s eyes were the mirror to my soul. And in his eyes—I was beautiful.
I smiled.
Love was crazy. It was a beautiful madness. An euphoric chaos I never wanted to escape from.