Valerie
I was drunk, high on Viktor, his touches driving me to the point of insanity. There was no other way to describe what I was feeling.
What started out as a kiss, just a simple kiss—turned into something so much more. I was naked underneath him, my neck bare of the collar that kept me trapped—my soul open to his. Our hearts dancing to the same wild, beautiful symphony.
Viktor has given me pleasure that I had never known before. What used to be my dreams was now my reality. The way he touched me, his hands, his lips filled with certainty, as if he knew how to play me, a master at playing the notes of my body.
A moan and then a groan. A whimper and then a shudder. My body craving what he was giving me—becoming an addict to his sinful touches.
I should have been cowering away from him, but my arms were opened wide. His beautiful heart was tainted—and I wanted him to tarnish mine. With each kiss, I fell deeper into his soulless eyes.
With each nibble on my skin, my body grew soft and pliant underneath his. My legs spread to accommodate his body. The heating core between my thighs pulsed, almost aching with need.
I could feel my dripping wetness, my body working itself—ready to take him inside of me, very much how a female’s body prepares itself, for breeding—to take her mate between her legs and inside her clenching core, and for her womb to nourish his seeds.
The pressure deep at the bottom of my stomach built, flooding my mind and body like molten lava. Sweat slid down across my skin, my body warm—too warm. The feel of him against me, rubbing against my sensitive skin, the sensation driving an igniting pleasure between my thighs. My body was hyperaware of every inch of my Viktor.
In this moment, the world could have gone into a dark chaos, casting us all into a never-ending oblivion and still, I wouldn’t have noticed. I wouldn’t have cared. All that mattered was Viktor and for him to keep touching me.
I caught his fevered eyes when he crawled back over my body. His lips glistened with my sin, the sweetness that had dripped for him and he’d tasted on his lips.
My fingers tangled in his black hair, my eyes staring into the pools of his aroused dark eyes. I could smell liquor from his breath. I inhaled his scent, a masculine, earthy smell, and his unique cologne teased my nostrils. I breathed him in again, the scent that only belong to Viktor.
I filled my senses with him while my hands never stopped exploring every inch of his chest and back. I memorized every indent, every curve, every bone, and every muscle twitch.
His skin was covered with tattoos—my fingers tracing them, but when his head tilted to the sides and he claimed my lips again, I decided that I would explore another time.
His lips were firm on mine, the kiss hard, like him. Male, Viktor, mine. My heart had claimed him before, and now my body was ready for him.
Sparks tingled across my skin, and I was breathless as the kiss felt like it was never ending. I could taste my own tang on his lips, and I savored it as he plunged his soft tongue between my lips, kissing me deeper. My eyes closed, kissing him back with just the same passion.
I felt his hard length between my thighs as he pressed against my weeping slit, so wet and sticky. Viktor rubbed his tip against me, coating himself with my cream. His hardness teased my clit, making my empty core clench desperately for him to fill me.
My toes curled, and my thighs spread wider when he touched my entrance, pushing the slightest bit against my slits. My back bowed and I panted, waiting on edge.
Instead of thrusting inside of me hard, like I had expected him to, he slowly pushed himself inside me. Viktor took his time, taking me slow, letting me accommodate to this size. He held himself over my body, his kisses turning sweet and gentle.
My breath hiccupped as I gasped. He thrust his cock in easily, until he was fully seated inside my warmth. My whole body clenched tight at his sheer size, and I hiccupped back a sob.
Tears spilled down my cheeks as he continued to kiss me—claiming me softly. Just like he said. He was making love to me.
My heart shattered, the pieces flying apart.
Viktor obliterated me.
How could a man like him, a man born in the darkness—surviving in the darkness—hold so much gentleness in him?
Viktor thought he was the savage in the dark—what he didn’t realize was that he was the savage who brought me light in my own pile of darkness.
Viktor ruined me.
He tainted my soul with his own, placing an invisible bond there that marked me as his. He ruined me. For any other man. He made me his. Irrevocably his. Only his. Mind. Body. Soul.
For the first time, I gave someone my everything.
Viktor wrecked me.
The next time, my husband would touch me, his touch would be erased by the memories of Viktor’s. He wrecked me. And I wanted more of the damnation he had placed on my heart.
I felt him starting to pull out, and panic pressured over my chest. My eyes snapped open, and my lips parted with a silent cry.
“…No…”
My eyes widened, and I sobbed louder. My throat worked, painful. I didn’t hear it, but I knew Viktor heard it.
He heard me. No longer the mute broken soul.
No longer his silent myshka.
How this happened—how did I break years of silence—I couldn’t tell. But I knew the reason was right in front of me, his dark eyes penetrating mine.
Through blurred eyes, I could see him apologizing. He thought he hurt me, but little did he know…
He did hurt me. My soul was bleeding for him, only because I was scared our ending wouldn’t be happy. I was scared that this would be our last moment.
I lifted my hand up and caressed his cheeks, my tears leaving wet trails down my own. He was still buried deep inside me. Viktor tried to pull out again, but I clenched around his cock.
He gritted his teeth, and I imagined him hissing as I clenched again. My ankles locked around his thighs, and I thrust my hips upward. I gasped at the sensation.
“Please…Viktor.”
Viktor has given me something so precious and so fragile that it could be broken so easily. And I was scared. Scared of losing him. Scared of losing us.
Please. Please. Please.
His eyes were wide, his chest heaving with each labored breath. His gaze went to my lips, staying there for a moment before moving to my eyes again.
“Valerie…” he started and then shook his head, like he couldn’t believe this was happening.
I opened my mouth again, ready to speak. My throat was hurting, practically on fire. After years of not using it, the inside felt like it was being scratched raw and bleeding.
“…Viktor,” I muttered.
“Ah fuck!” he swore, his forehead dropping to mine, his eyes closing tight as if he were in pain.
I didn’t realize this would hurt him just as much. I didn’t realize that I had the power to destroy him.
But in the moment, Viktor looked like I had just left his heart bleeding on the floor.
We obliterated each other.
We were drowning in each other.
Breathless and fighting. For each other.
My lips brushed against his, kissing him softly. He kissed me back, hungrily, and I tasted the saltiness of my tears. Or was it his?
Closing my eyes, I drowned in our wounded kiss. My soul was feeling something that it had never known.
I was falling…falling…falling…
Viktor was falling…falling…falling…
My heart wanted to wrap around him and never let go, whispers of wings growing around the beat of my heart to carry our love.
Viktor tore our lips apart, and I opened my eyes to stare into his dark irises. They were heated again, but I saw all the unsaid emotions there.
“You are going to be the death of me one day, Valerie.”
I gave him a quick peck on the lips, my heart squeezing at his words. But I want to be the reason for you to live.
His lips feathered over mine. “Myshka. One day soon, I will steal you away. But right now, I need to make love to you.”
I nodded, my arms around his neck. Holding him to me, I smiled through my tears. “Yes…make…love…to…me, Viktor.”
His thumb brushed against my plump lips. “Your voice. Fuck. Your voice is the sweetest thing I have ever heard. A fucking melody to my ears, baby.”
My whole body hummed with energy as he ground against me. Viktor slowly pulled away, and I moaned at the loss of him. His chuckle vibrated through his chest when he thrust inside me again.
Once he was fully seated inside me again—his tip touching the entrance of my womb—those broken shards of my heart molded together again. Creating a perfect piece. A beating heart for Viktor.
My breathing accelerated, and desire pooled between my thighs, drenching the spot between us where we were connected. My wet core made it easier for him to thrust in and out of my waiting pussy.
He was big, and I almost whimpered at how full and stretched I was. The slight sting of pain brought me pleasure I never knew was possible.
My heart fluttered and my pussy gripped him tight every time he pulled out, almost like it hated the loss of him. And every time he pushed inside of me, the flames built, aching and burning me.
Viktor kissed down my throat, nibbling the skin and sucking. He continued a downward path and took a lonely erect nipple into his mouth. He suckled on it, worshipping it with his tongue.
His teeth grazed my skin, and the feel of his rough stubble against my sensitive flesh was driving me insane.
His thrust quickened, and I held on to him, my nails digging painfully into his shoulders. He grunted against my skin, forcing his cock inside my pussy over and over again. Forcing out a pleasure hidden deep within me.
Skin slapping together, our bodies sliding against each other, sweat covering us, our arms around each other, our bodies connected in the most intimate way—this moment was forbidden yet so beautiful.
His fingers drifted between our connected bodies, where his hard, thick cock continued to pummel inside me, his thumb brushing against my tiny nub before giving me the smallest pinch. I arched off the bed, and I bit on my lips, holding back my scream.
I was trembling and gasping for air. He licked between the valley of my breasts before moving up. My eyes went to his lips, watching him speak through my hazy, lustful eyes.
“Come for me, Valerie. Let that pretty tight pussy come all over my cock. Give it to me, baby.”
Oh God.
He kissed me, hard, almost brutal and so dominant. With a hand over my hips, his fingers dug into my skin. I bit on his lips, and he hissed before he savagely took my lips again.
Viktor pulled almost all the way out before thrusting hard into me. I gasped, and then I was spiraling down and down. The intense crackling wave hit me hard, the ache between my thighs intensifying before slowly turning into a dull feeling.
Our eyes met and we stared…never breaking contact.
Viktor’s hips bucked against mine before he thrust inside me one last time. His whole cock was buried into my warmth as I continued to clench and milk him. I felt the warmth of his seeds as he filled me.
He was deeply ingrained inside me.
I was a limp mess, gasping and panting. His chest heaved with each breath, and we were both silent.
Silence. Our sanctuary. In the silence, we found power—we found us.
Viktor rolled us on our sides, facing each other, but he stayed buried inside me. He pushed my hair away from my sweaty forehead and placed a kiss there before speaking.
“That was…” He broke off and shook his head. “I don’t even know how to…”
My fingers feathered over his cheeks. “We…can’t…describe it.”
His eyes widened again, and he sucked in a deep breath. “That’s going to take some time getting used to, Valerie. Do you realize that you practically just cut my chest open and ripped my heart out?”
“Is…that bad?” I asked. Now that I was speaking, I started wondering how I sounded to Viktor. He said my voice was sweet, but…
He gently nudged my chin up. “Louder. I can’t hear you.”
Oh. “Is…that bad?” I tried again.
He winced and quickly looked toward the door before meeting my eyes again. “Too loud, baby.”
“Sorry,” I mumbled.
Viktor smiled. “That was perfect.”
He kissed me, a quick stolen kiss before speaking again. “You are perfect. You can speak. You can actually fucking speak. And right now, I am drawing blanks. Why?”
One simple word…a question that weighed so heavily.
Unconsciously, my hand came up to touch my bare neck. Viktor noticed, because he noticed everything.
“Why did you stop speaking? Because of Valentin? Are you really deaf too…or…?” He left the sentence hanging, waiting for my answer.
“No…I can’t hear. But I can…speak.”
Viktor stayed silent, waiting for me to continue. Taking a deep breath, I explained the unsaid history. “I wasn’t deaf before. But a few years ago, I lost my hearing.”
I broke off with a cough, my throat burning more with each word. Viktor quickly pulled away, slipping out of my tight heat. I hissed at the loss of him, and he closed his eyes at the same time.
“Holy fuck. I could live inside you for the rest of my life,” he said, opening his eyes again. Turning away from me, he leaned over and took the glass of water from the nightstand.
I sat up as he handed the glass to me. “Drink,” he ordered, no place for argument.
The glass was empty within seconds as I drank all the water, like a starved animal. The freshness soothed my inflamed throat, and I took a deep breath.
“Better?” Viktor asked, taking the glass from my hand.
I nodded. “Yes. Thank you.”
Viktor smiled, and his fingers touched my lips. “A little louder. You are speaking too soft for me to hear.”
I cleared my throat and tried again. “I said, thank you.”
He bent down and stole a quick kiss before pulling away again. “You are welcome, Valerie.”
We laid on our sides again. Viktor wrapped an arm around my hips and brought me close to his body. Between my thighs, I could feel my wetness dripping and his seeds leaving my warmth. I clenched my thighs together, not wanting any trace of him to spill away.
“Valerie, talk to me,” he urged, nudging the tip of my nose with his.
“It’s in my genes. My mother is deaf, since she was born. At the age of eleven, I was told that I would eventually go deaf too. My sister was six then, but she was diagnosed too. They gave me an estimated of five years before I would start losing my hearing, and maybe two years after that, I would be completely deaf,” I explained slowly.
While I was speaking, Viktor never stopped touching me. Whether it was his fingers drawing random patterns or his lips feathering over my skin, he was always touching me.
“That’s how I can read lips. My mother reads lips too. It’s hard, but I have been training my brain since I was eleven. Back then, I wasn’t deaf, so it was easier to learn. I listened and watched the lips at the same time, until I got used to it and the voice would just blend in the background and I would listen by just reading the lips. I know sign language too,” I continued.
“When did you go deaf?” Viktor asked, his fingertips grazing my ear softly.
I thought for a moment, trying to remember the dates. “Maybe three years ago. I think.”
“The doctor was wrong,” he said, a small smile on his lips.
I nodded. “My hearing lasted longer than they thought. I was very slowly going deaf; it was just six months when I had realized it. But then…”
The words caught in my throat, and I swallowed hard as the memories assaulted me.
“What happened?”
I buried my head in his chest, a whimper caught in my throat. “Valentin…I can’t remember much. It was a bad night. He hit me, and by accident, my head bumped against the bed post hard. I had lost consciousness and woke up two days later…I didn’t hear anything when I woke up. No matter how loud I screamed, I couldn’t hear anything. No words. No sound. It was just silence. I went from hearing to complete silence in a matter of days.”
Viktor’s arm tightened around me, trapping me into his embrace. “I know I was supposed to go deaf, eventually. It was meant to happen. But it still feels like he robbed me of my hearing. Maybe if I hadn’t hit that bed post, my hearing would have lasted longer…a few more months even.”
He pulled away and made me look up into his face. “Does it hurt? Being deaf…do you hate it?”
My hand came up to touch his cheek, rubbing his days of rough stubble. My throat had started hurting again from talking too much, but I continued speaking. For Viktor.
“No. I learned to accept it and be happy with it. I am deaf…not broken. It’s part of me. And in some ways, I have found strength in it. Because then, I didn’t have to hear his cruel words. Surprisingly, the silence is beautiful.”
Viktor waited…because he knew, he just knew a “but” was coming.
“But right now, I wish I could hear you. It hurts not being able to hear you.” Or the sound of your heartbeat.
Viktor’s eyes darkened, and our foreheads touched in a soothing way. “If I had the power to give you that wish, I would grant you it. Fuck, I would even cut my own arm off to give you this wish. I would leave a bloodbath behind me—just to give you this wish, myshka.”
Shaking my head, I couldn’t help but smile at his words. “I don’t need you to cause a bloodbath for me.”
At my words, Viktor smirked…a dark sinister smirk. It was quick, and then it was gone, like it was never there. Almost like it was my imagination.
“Why did you stop speaking?” I closed my eyes at his next question.
“He loved it when I screamed my pain. It was his drug. My screams were his power over me. And after I lost my hearing, my speech pattern changed too. I couldn’t control how loud or soft I spoke, like now. He said my voice was ugly…that I sounded weird. Eventually, I realized that my power lay in my voice. If I took it away, he wouldn’t win. He couldn’t control me. Every time he begged me to scream and I wouldn’t—I won.”
Viktor pulled me closer into his body, until we were plastered against each other. “That’s a long time to stay voiceless, even when you aren’t. You are so strong, Valerie. Do you know that?”
I shrugged at his choice of words.
“You are, myshka,” he forced out.
We fell into silence, both of us basking in this moment. My mind was reeling. So much has happened. Viktor and I—and then finding my voice again.
Viktor eventually pulled away and went to the bathroom. A few minutes later, he came back with a glass filled with water. I drank it without any question.
“Your throat is hurting,” he stated. Not a question, just a simple fact.
I nodded, placing the glass on my nightstand. Viktor got in bed again and pulled the covers over us. Without hesitation, I curled into his embrace, and we held on to each other.
Our gaze never wavered and slowly sleep started to seep into my languid body. Viktor placed a kiss on my nose before speaking.
“Why did you speak for me?” he asked. I imagined him whispering the words—our secret.
I opened my mouth to answer, but my throat burned, and I coughed when the words wouldn’t come out. Quickly fishing out my notepad and pen from my drawer, I started writing down.
A smile touched my lips as I held his pen while my fingers feathered over the paper. The memories—our moments flashed in front of my eyes.
This was how everything started. This was how we became us. When our hearts decided to dance for each other.
Because you deserve my voice. You earned it, Viktor.
Viktor read my words and he entwined our fingers together. “Was it everything you dreamed of?”
My smile widened at his question. “It…was…much more.”
The words were barely past my lips when Viktor started kissing me. We kissed until we were breathless. And then we just held each other.
Our eyes closed…and I was filled with peace.
It was much more.
I spoke the truth.
Because it truly was much more.
This was my dream. My first.
My first time wasn’t when Valentin stole my virginity and pushed his cock inside me, breaking through my barrier. My first time wasn’t when I cried in agony and begged him to stop.
My first time wasn’t with my husband.
This was my first.
I believe…tonight was my first time.
Viktor was my first.
And my last.