Addison

We ride back to the castle in silence, but I can feel my brother’s angry glare on me. I make sure to shield my mind and keep it up the entire way. Even with all that happened, he’s still upset I chose to defend Oliver instead of siding with him. I don’t regret my decision, and don’t need to justify it to him should he ask. I’m a grown woman and older than him. He jumped to conclusions about Oliver’s reason for being there and didn’t believe him when he explained. I would say he can keep his opinions to himself, but I know he won’t. At least I didn’t have to draw the sword my mom gave me.

Once we’ve brought our horses back to the stables, Elliott grips my bicep firmly and begins to pull me toward the tower house. I try to shake him free, but it’s of no use. Without any other choice, I pull back hard to make him stop, then stomp on his foot with all my might. It works and he releases me. Being brother and sister, we get in our fair share of fights. He also knows I can hold my own.

“What was that for?” he yells.

“Please don’t feign ignorance, Elliott. I know you better than that.” I cross my arms. “You have no right to handle me the way you just did. All you had to do was ask for me to come with you and I would have. There was no need to try and strong-arm me.”

“Fine,” he growls. “Then let’s go.” I stick out my chin and breeze past him.

Inside the main dining room of the tower house, dinner is sitting on the table. We barge into the room with a loud bang of the door flying open and hitting the wall, causing my mom, Dad, and Ryland’s heads all to snap up in our direction. No one has started eating yet. They were most likely waiting for our return.

My dad takes in Elliott’s face and must feel the anger rolling off of him in waves. “What happened out there? I got word there were Pine knights at the border.”

I brush past Elliott, remove the belt and sword from my waist to hang on the top of my chair, and take my usual seat beside my mom. “They weren’t there to harm us or looking for a fight. One of the children from their kingdom had run away from his mother and they, along with more of their people, were out looking for him.” Reaching for a roll, I look up to meet my mom’s eyes. She offers me a small smile. They might not be eating, but I’m starving.

“Something else must have happened,” my father says. His dark brown hair is kept neatly in place while his beard is a little more unruly. My mom says she likes it that way—untamed.

“Plenty happened. That’s only a small sliver of what took place,” Elliott replies before dropping into the chair beside my brother, Ryland, who is sitting opposite of my mother. Most other kingdoms have the queen sit at the far end of the table of the king. Not my father. Ever since she returned from the other realm, he wants her by his side at all times.

“Well, then do tell, Elliott. There’s no reason to keep us all waiting.”

Elliott swallows a mouthful of food. “Fine, here it is. First, Addi defended Sage.” My dad’s eyes widen as he turns to me. My mom in turn places her hand on his, which sits atop the table. Elliott continues, “Then a little boy comes running from the Pine Forest to his father. Oh, and his father just happens to be Sam.”

“What?” my dad bellows.

“My thoughts exactly. It seems Sam is married to one of the women who reside in Pine, and has a child with her.”

My father sits stunned for a moment, while my mom smiles to herself and sips her soup. He looks over to her. “You knew, didn’t you?” She shrugs one shoulder. “How could you not tell me?”

“Oh, Miles, please. You know I can’t interfere with fate.”

“Spare me the speech. Something like this should have been shared.”

She places her spoon down and fixes him with a hard stare. “You know as well as I do, when one thing happens, a bunch of others begin to fall into place. Now eat your dinner.” They spend the next moment giving each other glances as if their conversation is far from over.

Ryland, ever calm and collected, decides to speak up. “Can we take a step back to why Addison was defending Oliver Sage?”

“We certainly cannot,” my mother replies.

“It’s fine, really,” I say, while I cut through the meat on my plate. “Ry, I was defending Oliver because he had done nothing wrong. It was blatantly obvious they were all out in the forest in search of someone or something. Not only were there the Knights of Pine, but there were commoners amongst them, all scouring the woods. Yet, Elliott drew his sword on Oliver.”

He turns to Elliott. “You threatened him for searching for a lost boy?”

“When we arrived, all I saw was Sage and his men. I took them as a threat.”

“Even though none of them had their swords drawn?” I ask.

Elliott focuses on me. “What is with you? Why do you feel the need to defend him?”

I drop my fork to the plate abruptly. “What is with you and your need to slit his throat? You want nothing more than to have his blood on your sword.”

“So what if I do?”

“We have a treaty in place, Elliott. Unless Oliver is threatening your life, or one of those within the Azure Kingdom, you have no reason to go after him. Did you also forget that he saved my life? What does he have to do for you not to hate him so?”

He points the knife he is using to cut his food at me. “You’re hiding something.”

“Enough!” my father yells. We all quiet at the sound of his booming voice. He focuses on me. “Addison, as tough as you are, you always throw yourself into situations, which you shouldn’t be in. I’m not even sure why you were out there with the Elite today.” Elliott snorts. My father turns to him. “And you. If this is the kind of behavior I’m to expect every time you leave the castle as the Elite leader in Lucas’ absence, maybe I should ask someone else to do the job until he returns.”

“But, Dad, you weren’t there. You don’t know what happened.”

“Did Oliver Sage have a sword pointed at you, Addison, or any of our men?”

Elliott looks down at his plate. “Not right away.”

“Did you draw your sword on him first?”

“Yes.”

“Did you try to start a fight where there wasn’t one to be had?”

“You don’t understand.”

“Did you?” he asks sternly.

“Yes.”

My dad shakes his head. “Elliott, my son, you need to calm your temper. I know many years have gone by where you’ve looked at Oliver and his men as the enemy, but those days are over. I can’t have you behaving this way. No, I don’t like that Addi threw herself into this mess, but I have to wonder what would have happened if she hadn’t. Would you have gone for Oliver’s throat? As the leader of our strongest men, not to mention the entire army in Luke’s absence, it’s your job to lead. The men look up to you for direction. You have to view every situation diplomatically, unless lives are threatened.”

“Yes, sir.”

“You had just gone to Pine to say thank you to the man who saved your sister’s life. And this is how you behave. I’m disappointed in your actions.” He places his napkin on the table, pushes his chair back, and stands. My mom moves to join him. Placing his hand on her shoulder, he gently presses her back down then kisses her on the forehead. “Stay, my dear. Enjoy your meal. I have some work to tend to.” As he passes by me, he stops to place a kiss on top of my head. He whispers, “Keep that sword with you, Addi. It’s yours now.”

I would wonder what he knows, but he isn’t a seer like mother. Unless she told him something. Then that changes what he said.

The remainder of dinner is spent in silence. Before leaving, I gather a basket of food for Wes. I hate to admit to it, but with everything which has taken place, I forgot about him until I finished eating.

Rushing to his home, I open the door and find him sitting on the couch. His shirt is damp with sweat and he’s drawing in deep breaths. He drags his hand through his hair, slicking it back. I dash to his side and help lift his leg from the floor onto the couch.

“What are you doing up? You should have stayed in bed until I returned.”

His face scrunches in pain, but he doesn’t complain. “I had to use the bathroom and wasn’t sure of when you’d come back.”

I look down at my hands. “I’m sorry. I got caught up in everything and with family issues as well.”

“I heard what happened. Nick came by to fill me in. I was asleep until he showed up. He offered me help, but I refused.” I turn to face him and notice he’s begun to relax as his body sinks into the soft cushions of the couch. “Would you care to tell me why you defended Oliver Sage, or don’t I want to know?” he asks.

I push down the anger that starts to rise at being questioned about this again. I really don’t want to repeat why I did it. “I defended him because it was the right thing to do.”

“And no other reason?”

“Are you accusing me of something, Wesley? Because if you are, then come out and say it.”

“I’m not accusing you of anything, Addison, unless there is something you’d like to divulge to me. I’m simply trying to piece together what took place on the border of our kingdom today. I’m trying to understand why you would throw yourself in front of someone who has killed our men.”

I let out a long breath. “Wes, you know, as well as I do, that both sides are guilty in war. Our men shed as much blood as Oliver and his did.” Why did I say that? If I'm honest with myself, I know why. I also know that it’s the reason I shielded my mind the second I walked through the door.

“You’re defending him.”

“And?”

“And you never have before. Did something happen in the woods that day when the trelktik attacked you?”

“You mean when Oliver saved my life? Why, yes, I started realizing that maybe he isn’t as awful as everyone thinks.”

His eyes narrow. “What did he say to you out there?”

“Nothing.”

“Addison, you might think you’re doing a good job of concealing your lies, but you’re not. I wish you’d tell me the truth.”

I’m not sure what to do. Do I tell him I have feelings for another man, or do I simply say it isn’t working between us? Both are true, but the last thing I want to do is hurt him. I hate that all of this is being brought up now, while he is still recovering and in so much pain.

“Addison.”

I stand and start to pace the space between the living room and kitchen. “Oliver was kind to me, yes. He risked his life for my own. Today on the border, he was not a threat to anyone. He was simply looking for a lost child. I think between you, Elliott, and some of the other men, you need to start accepting that we are no longer at war. We need to get along with everyone if we want the treaty to be successful. This violence has to end.”

“Anything else?”

“It isn’t working between us.” I slap my hand over my mouth as soon as the words leave my lips. I didn’t intend to be so harsh. I wanted to ease into it. Me speaking of Oliver threw everything in my mind off.

Wes moves to sit up. I watch him struggle to lower his leg to the floor. I’m at his side in a flash, helping him get comfortable. His finger curls beneath my chin to lift my eyes to his. He looks at me for a moment. “You’re serious, aren’t you?”

I nod as tears begin to well in my eyes. “I’m sorry. I never intended to tell you like this.”

“How long have you been thinking of ending things?”

“I don’t know.” I do, but I’m not telling him. The moment Oliver caught me as I fell was the day that everything changed.

“I love you, Addison.” I squeeze my eyes shut, unable to look at him. His strong arms wrap around me to pull me close. “Please don’t do this. I don’t want to lose you.”

My head rests against his chest as I cry. I never meant to hurt him. He’s a kind, good man. One any woman would be lucky to have, but he’s not the one for me. “I can’t keep doing this. It’s not fair to you.”

“Is there anything I can do to sway your decision? I can change. I can be a better knight.”

I speak to him through my tears, sniffling every now and then. “You are an amazing man. I wouldn’t want you to change for me. I’m sorry, but I don’t love you the same way you love me. I don’t know if I ever will, and you deserve better than that. You deserve someone who’s going to love you with everything they have. Someone who’s going to look at you and have everything else fall away. I’m not that person, Wesley. I’m so sorry.”

I hate this ache in my chest. I’m hurting someone I care about and it’s tearing me apart. I know it’s for the best. I need to let him go. So much has happened since the wedding. I need time to sort through my feelings and try and figure out what’s going on with me.

Wes and I spend the next few hours sitting on the couch, me wrapped in his arms. We talk, he begs me not to leave him, which only shatters my heart into tiny pieces. Eventually we fall asleep. I don’t dream of anything or anyone, and in the morning, I kiss him goodbye. Before going home, I stop by the healer and tell her I won’t be able to care for Wes. We can’t begin to move on if I’m there in his house all day. I ask if she, or one of her apprentices, can stop by to tend to his wound and check on him occasionally. From across the room, I watch as Larise’s eyes light up before she quickly tries to hide her reaction to my request. He’s going to be okay without me. I know I hurt him, but he’ll move on.