I now measured things in terms of ‘before Hayden kissed me’ and ‘after Hayden kissed me.’

Over the next few weeks, we slipped into a routine. Monday to Friday, Hayden would be at work during the day. Sometimes Alfie and I would go and meet him for lunch and a walk by the canal near his office. Sometimes I’d meet Catrina and Iona for coffee and a catch up. While initially, I’d had reservations about them, they were both lovely. A little older than me, we did have some things in common, apart from the babies, and it was always a pleasant couple of hours. I had ‘forgotten’ to give Catrina’s number to Hayden, and she had never mentioned it again. Maybe I’d read more into her interest than there actually was. Besides which, after what had happened, I doubt he’d look at her twice. Or at least I hoped he wouldn’t. I also met a couple of other mums and the odd dad. At the weekends, we’d either do fun things as the three of us, such as going to the zoo or to the park, or going on play dates with Alfie’s friends.

It struck me that I’d well and truly fallen in love with this parenting malarkey.

Not to mention Hayden.

Since we’d first got together, I’d pretty much moved into his room and we slept together most nights. The only time we didn’t was if Alfie was having a bad night and one or the other of us would be with him instead.

Neither Laura nor Tom knew the truth—yet. I was sure that Laura would be over the moon when she found out, but I was scared of telling my brother. As was Hayden. Their Sunday night gaming sessions usually meant I hid out in my old room, reading or watching Netflix, leaving them to their boy time. We weren’t intentionally keeping it from him; at least that’s what we told each other. We’d tell him when the time was right and we were sure of the future.

That was one thing we hadn’t broached either.

There was only a week left before Maddy came home. We were both nervous about her reaction to our relationship too. Not to mention how things were going to be when she was back in the city. When one or the other of us had brought the subject up, something invariably happened that stopped us discussing it further.

It was Saturday and Hayden had gone into the office to get a few things done. Despite his boss, Robert, being in Paris, it didn’t stop him from piling unnecessary work onto Hayden. Part of me wondered whether Maddy had a hand in it, to try and disrupt things as much as possible for him. Given some of the things I’d heard about her from Catrina, it appeared that Maddy wasn’t the angel that Hayden painted her as. It would seem she had a nasty streak when it suited.

We were due at Alfie’s friend Noah’s first birthday party that afternoon. He’d been a bit cranky that morning and I hoped he wasn’t coming down with something. I’d already changed a couple of stinky nappies, and prayed he wouldn’t choose to throw up as I got him into his smart party outfit.

“What’s the matter, Alfie? Are you missing your mummy? She’ll be back home soon.” The words stuck in my throat as the realisation that I wouldn’t be doing this every day hit home. There was only a week left. I brushed away a tear that threatened to spill down my cheek and berated myself for being silly. This had only ever been a six-week gig. I had a shiny new job with the PR firm to go to and I should be getting excited to start my career. Not pine over the fact I wouldn’t get coffee with my new mummy besties.

My phone pinged with a message from Hayden, saying he was finished and was heading over to the party venue. I didn’t have a chance to answer before a second message arrived, saying he needed to talk to me. My skin grew cold. I didn’t like the sound of that. Maybe he’d told Tom, and my brother had forbidden me to have anything more to do with him. Trying to shake off the thought, I finished getting Alfie ready, then popped him in his playpen while I changed into a summer dress, a cardigan and flat shoes. There was nothing worse than trying to manoeuvre a buggy in heels.

The sun warmed me back up as I walked the quick route to the community hall where Noah’s party was. There was always competition over these events, even at that young age. It seemed to be a case of the parents trying to outdo each other. I dreaded to think what would happen when Alfie turned two.

Hayden was already there when I arrived. I politely said hellos to the hosting parents, before making a beeline for him. Well, he was holding two glasses of wine, after all.

I kissed him on the cheek. “How was your morning? You said you had something to tell me.”

He looked at the floor before saying anything and immediately I worried it was something horrible. Like Maddy had found out about us.

“I have to go away for work,” he said. “On Tuesday for three days. There’s a company-wide training course in Manchester and I have to go. No excuses apparently. Even being a single dad can’t get me out of this one.”

My reaction was to laugh and I could see his brows knit together as I did. “Is that all? I thought something awful had happened.”

“You don’t think me spending three days away from you and Alfie isn’t awful?”

My lips crashed against his, giving him no doubt how I felt. “It’s terrible; it’s the worst thing in the world. And we’ll miss you the whole time that you’re gone.” As I drew back, the dates struck me. Once he was back, it would only be a couple of days before Alfie would be gone and I’d have to move out.

“I’ll miss you both too.” Hayden took my hand, gripping it tightly. “Hey, we need to talk about…”

“Hayden! Bea! I’m so happy you were able to make it. Come and join the rest of us.” Noah’s mum, Diana, appeared and we were swept back into the group for party games, again more suited to the adults than the children.

A gnawing pain in my stomach told me that we really needed to have the conversation about what happened after Alfie returned to Maddy. I sensed Hayden wasn’t totally happy about going back to being a weekend dad.

“Bea, there you are.” Catrina appeared at my side. Hayden had taken Alfie and he was chatting to a couple of dads near to the food table. She took my elbow and steered me into a quiet corner. “Have you heard from Maddy recently?”

I shook my head. Hayden dealt with the communication on that front. They FaceTimed every evening and included Alfie on the call. As far as I knew, it was still happening.

“So you don’t know then?”

“Know what?”

Catrina lowered her voice conspiratorially. “She’s staying in Paris. Apparently the secondment has been made into a permanent job, so she’s going to be moving there full-time.”

I felt as if I’d been punched in the stomach. How dare she announce that to other people before discussing it with Hayden first? That decision had massive implications for him, not to mention Alfie.

“How do you know?” From what I had gathered in our chats, Catrina and Maddy weren’t exactly close these days.

“Iona heard something from Diana.” Catrina gestured towards Noah’s mum. “Sounds like Robert was instrumental in making it happen.”

I bet he was.

Immediately, I wanted to contact Maddy and confront her. Ask her what the hell she thought she was doing taking her son away from his father. But I had no right to do that. Not until Hayden knew the truth himself. For all I knew, Diana had got it wrong and there was no point in making a mountain out of a molehill until Maddy had confirmed or denied it.

“I’m pretty sure that Hayden would have told me if he knew that.” I gave Catrina a wide smile, pretending everything was fine. “It’s probably nothing; maybe Diana got mixed up.”

“I don’t think so.” Catrina clocked the look on my face and hastily backtracked. “Or maybe she did.” She gave a fake laugh, trying to cover up. “You know what Diana’s like for gossip.”

“I do.” I nodded slowly.

Hayden approached us, Alfie cradled in his arms, snoring. “This little dude is out for the count, so I thought we could head home.” He looked between Catrina and I, a frown clouding his handsome features. “Everything okay?”

I shot Catrina a death stare that told her not to say anything. She appeared to get my message and mumbled something about needing to find her husband. Before she left, she gently ruffled Alfie’s hair and gave me a meaningful look, which didn’t go unnoticed by Hayden.

“What was that all about?” he asked, his gaze following Catrina as she disappeared into the group.

“Nothing, we were talking about Iona,” I improvised. “She’s been having some problems with teething and Catrina wanted to know what we were doing with Alfie.” I was impressed with myself for coming up with that on the spur of the moment.

Hayden laughed. “Topic of conversation changes so much when you’re a parent, doesn’t it?” He kissed the top of my head. “Come on, let’s go.”

As we left, Catrina messaged me: Diana says it’s true!!! You need to talk to Hayden ASAP x