The course material swam in front of my eyes as I tried to concentrate on the tutor at the front of the room.

This powerful three-day course for experienced executive-level recruiters explores the four key habits that are shared by all top billers, which will help them to create their market and become more confident in operating at the highest level with their clients and candidates.

On day three, we will explore the relationship between client and candidate and how the recruiter can leverage that in order to secure the highest level of revenue.

Thankfully we were at day three. Even reading the introduction again, plus the outline of the final day, made me want to close my eyes and sleep. Maybe I shouldn’t have stayed up until four in the morning, drinking with the Scotland team, one of the downfalls of staying in the same hotel where the training was.

I vaguely remembered messaging Bea when I finally got to bed, then forgot to put my phone on charge, so I had no idea if she’d received it. My phone was currently in my room.

The clock said nine-twenty-three. In theory, the course was due to finish at midday, then we could check out and I could get straight on the train back to London. I missed Alfie and Bea. Missed the routine we’d established, the fun times we had together.

In a few days that would all be over.

Maddy would be back from Paris and I would be a weekend dad again.

Without a doubt, I knew that wasn’t what I wanted. Maddy had always pushed me away when I said I wanted to be more involved, telling me it would upset Alfie’s routine. In all the time he’d been with Bea and I, he seemed perfectly happy and not at all bothered by the changes. Although he was a year old. If he wasn’t happy about it, I’m not entirely sure how he would have told me.

“Hayden, why don’t you share with the group one of your more difficult candidate experiences? And how you managed to turn it into a win-win situation?”

The tutor’s voice broke into my thoughts and I sighed, turning my attention back to the present. Could I use Maddy as an example of a difficult candidate?

With a huge effort, I managed to make it through until midday. My hangover had kicked in with a vengeance and I was grateful that the train terminated at Euston. Knowing I could get some uninterrupted sleep for a couple of hours would be bliss.

As I was about to leave the room, the tutor caught me. “Good job on this session, Hayden. You’ve got great potential; keep it up.”

“Thanks.” I flashed a smile that was infinitely brighter than I felt, said my goodbyes to the Scotland lads and escaped to my room to finish packing and get the hell out of there.

The first thing I did was check my phone. There was a video message from Bea of her and Alfie; she was trying to feed him some green gloop and more of it was going in his hair and over his clothes than actually in his mouth. He chattered something that sounded like ‘Dada’ and I almost cried. I couldn’t wait to get home. I spotted a couple of missed calls and a voicemail from Maddy, but they could wait until I was on the train. I wanted to get home.

The first thing I spotted when I arrived at the station was the ‘cancelled’ message on the information board for what was meant to be my train. That was the last thing I needed right now. After a couple of conversations with the guys at the ticket desk, I was finally told that I could transfer my ticket to another train, if I paid extra. Given that I’d be claiming it back on expenses, I gladly agreed. Anything that could get me back to London quicker, no matter how much it cost.

A fast-food restaurant was the perfect place to wait, and I greedily tucked into one of their burgers with the works, an extra large fries and a chocolate milkshake. While I ate, I checked emails and responded to the urgent ones. Once I’d finished eating, I called Bea.

“Hey, sweetheart.”

“Shouldn’t you be on a train? You sound suspiciously like you’re in a pub.”

Even the thought of alcohol turned my stomach and I shuddered. “Definitely not a pub, but I’m going to be later than planned. My train was cancelled.”

Bea sighed. “That’s a shame. Me and Alfie can’t wait for you to be home. Here, let him tell you himself.”

There was a shuffling sound as I imagined Bea putting the phone close to Alfie so he could ‘speak’ to me. I heard gurgling and some chewing.

“I’m sure he said Bea earlier, although it could have been a burp.” Bea’s voice came back on the line. “What do you want for dinner this evening? I thought we could get burgers.”

“Sure sounds good.” I looked guiltily at the food in front of me, not wanting to disappoint Bea over her choice of meal. “Hopefully I’ll only be an hour later than planned. I’ll let you know if there’s any change.” I paused. “I’ve missed you. Both of you.”

“And we’ve missed you too. We’re looking forward to the next few days.”

I swear I heard Bea’s voice crack as she spoke. I knew exactly how she felt. “See you soon.” And I hung up before either of us could break down.

The new train was on time but was, unsurprisingly, super busy. When I finally found a seat, I settled back and prepared to sleep. As I was about to drop off, I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I groaned, tempted to ignore it. Another missed call from Maddy. I rolled my eyes. Whatever was so important that she had to call me four times, yet only leave one message? Reluctantly, I dialled into my voicemail.

Hi, Hayden, I needed to speak to you about something… It’s um, difficult to say, but I’m sure you’ll understand and you won’t take the decision I’ve made too badly…

The signal dropped in and out as I listened, picking out words and phrases.

Permanent job in Paris…

Moving there full-time…

Alfie will be coming with me…

Robert agrees…

Great opportunity…

This afternoon…

The message cut out before the end, though I think I got enough of it to get the gist of what she was saying.

Instantly, I tried to call her back. It went straight to voicemail each time. Either the service on the train was shit or she was deliberately blocking my calls. I tried to call Bea, but the same thing happened.

“Shit!” The word flew out of my mouth as I pounded the seat in front of me.

“I beg your pardon?” The woman in the window seat glared at me. “And you do realise this is the quiet carriage, don’t you? If you want to make calls, you’ll need to go into the vestibule.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I just had some bad news and…”

She waved a hand at me, cutting me off. “I’m sure you did, but I’d prefer if you dealt with it quietly.” And she turned back to her book.

Every fibre of my body wanted to scream and shout. I made my way to the area between the carriages and opened the window. Standing an appropriate distance away—after all, I didn’t want to get into trouble with the guard, as well—I yelled out into the fields as we sped past. It helped a little, though not nearly enough.

As I watched the countryside and towns slipping by, I reflected over the past six weeks. Being a full-time dad had been a wonderful experience and I knew I didn’t want to go back to looking after Alfie a day here and a day there. The developing relationship with Bea was something I hadn’t expected, though it was rapidly becoming everything I wanted and then more. I knew I was in love with her and I had to tell her.

It was almost as if we had created the perfect little family.

A family that Maddy wanted to take away from me.

I couldn’t let that happen.