I never imagined I would be standing in a cemetery wearing a knee-length maroon dress celebrating love. The one place that is for mourning–the place people come to cry, come to talk to the dead, but that’s not why I’m here. I’m here for love, for Kristy.

As we stand under a tent off to the side of the cemetery, her guests are taking their seats twenty feet ahead of us. There won’t be more than fifteen people present for her wedding. She said the only people she needed were her and Jason’s parents, their grandparents, and a couple of friends.

My eyes sweep across the cemetery, and I pucker my lips, taking in the headstones.

This is so weird.

“You did ask someone about getting married here, right?” I ask her, watching people who are grieving talking to gravestones.

I’m not sure how I feel about being here because everywhere I look I see death, and it reminds me of the shockwave I spent the last month and a half trying to beat. I take several deep breaths, inhaling and exhaling, releasing the pain that’s threatening to push through my tough exterior.

You don’t ever forget the torment of losing someone you love. You learn how to deal with it as it becomes part of your everyday routine.

There are times when I think of Mom, and I smile. I remember funny stories and the laughs we shared. I remember things I thought I long forgot like the way she insisted on smelling anything she was about to put in her mouth. It’s odd what the brain chooses to remember. I like to think that means she’s still here with me, guiding me through my muddled life, trying to navigate me in the right direction.

“Yep,” she says. “The manager said as long as we stay off to the side and don’t cause a ruckus, it’s perfectly fine.” She wipes her hands down the front of her dress. “For a fee, of course,” she adds.

The one thing I’m thankful for is that we are nowhere near Mom’s grave. In fact, we aren’t even in the same cemetery where I laid her to rest. I think Kristy did that on purpose, and I could hug her for thinking of me when I haven’t been thinking about anyone else.

“How do I look?” she asks, fidgeting with her dress.

Kristy is wearing a flowy black dress with spaghetti straps. A shiny black belt is cinched around her waist with a plain black flower perched on the side.

I untuck her hair from behind her ear. “Perfect.”

“This is fast, ya know?” She runs a hand down her arm nervously.

“Is this what you want? Because we can hightail it out of here before anyone notices we’re gone.”

She laughs, leading me to believe she thinks I’m absolutely insane. “It is. I told you… compromise.” She sits on the metal fold-out chair and looks up at me. “I told him I wanted to wait and that I wanted to get married in a cemetery.”

“And he didn’t commit you on the spot?” I joke.

“Funny. No, he told me he’d go along with my crazy idea, but he wanted to get married sooner. After thinking about it for a couple of minutes, I told him I’d do it as long as he didn’t pressure me to have kids anytime soon. I’m not ready for that shit.”

There are a lot of things people aren’t ready for, me included, but sometimes you just have to jump. I’ve learned it’s never the perfect time, and there will never be a right time. You just hope like hell it will all work out in the end.

She chews her bottom lip. “What if it doesn’t work out? What if once Jason and I get married, we start fighting all the time?”

“You’re gonna be fine, Kristy,” I assure her. “You’re not going to end up like your parents.”

She twists her hands in her lap. “How do you know?”

“Because the way you and Jason are together, completely yourselves, is what people search for their entire lives. You might argue and harass each other, but you’re perfect for each other. Comfortable and safe. That’s what it should feel like.”

“You and I are going to be friends until we die, Jade.” She smirks. “There’s no getting out of it.”

I howl out a laugh. “Dang, I was really hoping I wouldn’t have to see you after today.”

She stands from the chair and punches me in the arm. “Yeah, right. You wouldn’t survive without me.”

Odd how I can go from being alone, to knowing in my gut that she’s right–that I wouldn’t survive without her, because friends are what make a life, make it more than a mundane existence.

“Let’s get you married.” I tug on her arm and head toward the handful of people waiting next to the willow tree for a wedding they’re sure to never forget.

As soon as Jason sees Kristy, his face lights up. I can feel his love from the way his eyes shine as he looks at the woman he adores more than anything in this world. It makes my chest swell, knowing there are happy endings, and Kristy and Jason are getting theirs.

With the sun setting behind Kristy and Jason, they say ‘I do’ in the most unconventional way, proving that not all love is the same, but beautifully different.

We came straight to The Bar Next Door after the wedding. What other way do you end a wedding that took place in a cemetery except in a packed bar? It’s kind of perfect, almost full circle, seeing as how I’ve watched them bicker and make-out in this very place.

“One more shot.” Kristy slams a full shot glass in front of me as she plops down in the booth across from me.

I groan. “Are you trying to take advantage of me? Because you’re not really my type, being married and all.”

“Ha-ha.” She holds up her shot and waits for me to pick up mine. Begrudgingly, I do, knowing she won’t let me off the hook. “To friends.” We clink our glasses together and down our shots, making a disgusted face in the process. “You gonna be okay with Monica the next two days?”

I look over at Monica behind the bar struggling to open a beer bottle and grimace. Amanda snatches the bottle from her and easily pops the top, shoving the bottle back in her hands.

Monica’s nice, but she’s not the best waitress. A little clumsy and unsure of herself. I know I’ll be picking up her slack, I’m just praying it’s not busy. “Yeah, I’ll be fine. You go have fun with your hubby.”

“Don’t worry. I will.” She winks. “In fact, I think I’m gonna start now.” She scoots out of the booth and stands, fussing with her hair.

“At least wait until you get home,” I yell.

She waves me off. “You’ll be lucky if I make it to the car.”

Someone save me.

I stay seated, twirling the empty shot glass in my hands until I hear a loud bang followed by the sound of shattering glass.

My head whips in the direction of the noise, and I notice Monica’s panicked face as she looks down at the broken bottle of vodka along with a crate full of broken glasses.

I curse under my breath, and I leave the safety of my booth, heading toward Monica to help her before she burns the place down.

I close the door of the cab, and it pulls away, the black of the night coating me as the headlights disappear.

I stayed at the bar for an hour to help clean up Monica’s mess before I called a cab to pick me up.

I walk to the mailbox and open it, pulling out the single envelope inside. I switch the light on my phone on and catch a glimpse of the words on the white envelope.

I applied to a community college six days ago, right after I deposited the check from Mom’s insurance policy. I’m taking more steps in the right direction, and it feels better than I thought it would.

I didn’t think I could feel anything other than lost and devastated without Mom, but I was wrong. I’ll never forget her or what she did, but she’s teaching me to move on without even being here.

Not able to wait until I get inside, I tear open the envelope and yank out the letter. I unfold the piece of paper, my eyes scanning it until I see the words that have me smiling.

Congratulations!

I hug the letter to my chest, letting out a small squeal as I grin into the darkness.

It’s not the art school I got in to all those years ago, but I figured I could take classes at a local college and then transfer to an art school.

This moment is bittersweet. I’m elated, but I wish I had Mom to celebrate with.

And the real kicker, I wish I could wrap my arms around Hudson’s neck, him twirling me around as happy as I am.

But then I realize that I can make one of those things happen. I can take another step. I can keep moving forward, and that’s exactly what I choose to do. I just hope he lets me back in.

I take off running down the street, clutching the letter in my hand and thanking the heavens I wore flats today.

I trip on a rock but quickly right myself as Hudson’s trailer comes in to view.

I rush up the steps and quietly knock on his door, not wanting to wake Chis if he’s sleeping.

I shift on my feet as I wait for the door to open, but it doesn’t, so I knock again.

And I wait…and wait.

When he doesn’t answer, I slide down his door, sinking to my butt, and that’s when I notice his car isn’t parked outside. He isn’t home, and my mood sinks as I look up at the dark sky.

I cross my ankles and close my eyes. He isn’t home…but I’ll wait because I at least owe him that.