I dry the shot glass in my hand and set it on the shelf with the other clean glasses.

I turn back around, and Jason is holding open a small black box.

“What do you think?” he asks, stretching his arm out to me with the goofiest smile I’ve ever seen plastered on his face.

I raise an eyebrow. “I think she’s going to kill you.”

“What?” he balks.

I shake my head, an amused smile slipping across my face. “Have you even talked to her about this?”

“Not in so many words.” He shrugs.

I put the glass in my hand down and lean closer to the small box balancing in his hand. If this were anyone but Kristy, they would hate this ring. By any normal person’s standard, a black engagement ring is ludicrous. But this is Kristy, and I know she’ll love the black diamond sitting on top of a petite silver band. It screams her, but I’m not so sure if she will scream for the ring.

“It’s perfect,” I say, trying to be supportive. “She’d be insane to say no.” Optimistic. It’s a new look on me, but the hopeful look that crosses his face makes it worth it.

“I knew it.” He shoves the ring in his pocket, pleased with himself.

“When are you going to ask?”

“I’m not sure, but this damn thing is burning a hole in my pocket. I’m not sure how much longer I’ll be able to keep it to myself.”

“Well, technically, you just told me, so you didn’t keep it to yourself,” I correct.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” He waves me off as he twists around on the barstool, his eyes scanning the room. “I’m pretty lucky. She’s got the best ass I’ve ever seen,” he says, his gaze fixed on Kristy.

“Yeah, that’s why you’re lucky,” I scoff.

“I’m marrying up. Don’t ya think?”

“You’re something, that’s for sure,” I mumble.

“I’m the customer, aren’t you supposed to be nice to me?”

“Customers usually pay.”

He nods his head. “True.”

Marriage. I can’t believe Kristy was right about Jason proposing. I only wonder how she’s going to react to the news. Hopefully she’s had plenty of time to be okay with this, but who knows. What I do know is that I would love to be around when Jason asks because Kristy will either flip her shit or nonchalantly agree. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen her be ecstatic about anything, but then again, nothing around the bar has ever been thrilling.

The hair on my arm stands on end, and my eyes gravitate toward the door. Hudson is standing there in all his glory–tall, commanding, fierce.

His eyes bore into me as he stalks closer, the crowd of people parting for him like he’s a magnet being drawn to me. His chocolate brown eyes never leave mine with each step he takes, and I find it hard to rip my gaze away from him–like he has me hypnotized.

And when he’s standing directly in front of me, leaning against the bar with his palms flat and body inclined toward me, a zing shoots through me.

His mouth moves, but I don’t hear what he says as the smell of cinnamon wafts over me, and I lose myself in the fantasy that is Hudson because that’s what he’s done to me–cast a spell over me. One I was never strong enough to fight no matter how hard I tried. He forced his way in, and I surrendered, giving him the power to slice me open whenever he sees fit.

The day the steel fortress began being built around my heart was the day I saw everyone for who they really were. Liars. Ungrateful. Selfish. Assholes. I only saw the ugly.

But for some reason, my heart convinced itself to loosen a few screws in those walls, letting Hudson seep in through the cracks, exposing myself to his charm. But he’s not trying to charm me–he’s not trying to win me over. He’s showing me compassion. He’s giving me as much as I give him. Trust.

The thing about those loose screws is that more are falling out, and the steel walls meant to protect me from the hideous things in the world are getting weaker, threatening to collapse, leaving me naked and exposed.

“Jade? Jade?” Hudson says, concern sweeping across his face.

“Yeah, sorry.” I blink my eyes, bringing myself back to the present. “What are you doing here?”

“I came to pick you up.” He places his elbows on the bar, moving closer to me, and I fight to keep myself in place. “I didn’t want you to back out on me. There’s no way I’m letting you stay at your place.”

“Bossy. I like it.” Kristy grins, slapping my ass as she passes me behind the bar. I glare at her.

“I’m sitting right here,” Jason says, waving a hand in front of himself.

“I know,” Kristy backfires, placing her hand on her hip.

He’s going to have his hands full with her the rest of his life. I chuckle under my breath, imagining Jason trying to wrangle Kristy when she’s in her sixties, making inappropriate comments. Never going to happen.

Jason takes a gulp of his beer before setting it back on the bar, ignoring the attitude Kristy is throwing his way. “I’m Jason,” he says, holding his hand out to Hudson.

“Nice to meet you.” He nods as they shake hands. “I’m Hudson.”

“So you’re the guy who’s going to turn Jade’s frown upside down?” Jason asks, pursing his lips.

I smack Jason with the rag in my hand, narrowing my eyes at him.

“Ouch.” He rubs his arm, feigning being hurt.

“Can I get you anything?” I ask Hudson, deterring Jason from asking any more questions.

“Just you,” he replies with an air of confidence exuding from him.

I don’t take it as anything other than what he said. He’s waiting for me to get off work, and he’s not leaving until I’m walking ahead of him where he can keep his eyes trained on me to ensure I don’t run off.

I’m not running away, and that’s terrifying because for the first time, I don’t want to hide from someone. I want to run headlong into them, consequences be damned.

Kristy fans her face dramatically. “It’s getting hot in here. I think you better listen to your man.”

“He’s no–”

“You should leave. Amanda and I have it covered. Take the night off.” She winks. “If you’re worried about Anthony, don’t be.”

I wave her off. “Like I would ever be worried about him.” He probably doesn’t even know who he scheduled tonight. “I don’t want you to have to fend for yourself. You and I both know Amanda is useless,” I protest.

“I got it. Trust me.” Placing her hands on my shoulders, she guides me out from behind the bar and doesn’t stop until I’m standing dangerously close to a man I’ve become dangerously close to. “Go have fun.” She tugs the string on my apron, pulling it off me and throwing it on the counter.

“I can’t–”

“Go!” she demands. “I’ll push you out the door if I have to.”

She will, I know she will, but I hesitate, thinking of the money I’ll need to get myself afloat because as much as I hate to think about it, I know when my mom passes away the bills are going to pile up.

I’ve blown through a lot of money lately with all the trips Mom’s been making to the hospital, and I know I’m going to need to make up for it.

But this isn’t what I’ve been saving money for the last three years.

I’ve been working my ass off to try to keep her alive, not to bury her. But Mom knew all along, and she didn’t bother to say anything. She didn’t tell me she wanted to die.

I close my eyes and sigh. “Take me home,” I say, my voice full of desperation. Because that’s what I am, desperate to forget everything around me and the shit hand that was dealt to me.

When I open my eyes, Hudson is staring down at me with a gaze full of understanding, not the sympathy I was expecting. I’m beyond grateful that he seems to know what I need, even when I don’t, because as much as I need to stay and work, my mind hasn’t been in it all night.

And while it might be a great distraction, I’m starting to think I need to face my problems and deal with them before they eat me alive. But I’m pretty sure all that’s left of me is a cold heart, nothing of use to anyone–not even me.

Hudson takes my small hand in his and weaves us through the crowd to exit the bar. I take a deep breath, thankful to be somewhere quiet. I didn’t think the quiet is what I wanted, but it is because even though my thoughts will drive me absolutely mad, it’s something I need to deal with.

“You said ‘take me home.’” His voice startles me, and he squeezes my hand once, comforting me. “Just to be clear, I’m taking you to my home, not yours.”

“Yeah, okay,” I say without fighting him, letting someone else take charge for once because I can’t trust myself to do anything. I mean I did get myself arrested, so my judgement isn’t the best at the moment.

He opens the car door for me, and I slide in, but he doesn’t shut the door like I expect him to. He squats down next to me, placing his hand under my chin. “Are you going to tell me what’s going on in your head?”

I let my eyes travel over his strong jaw and back up to his deep chocolate irises. How is this going to work? How do I make a relationship with him work without breaking him–without bringing him down?

I feel like I’ve already broken so much in my life, and it’s hard not to think that he will be next.

“I’m going to ruin you,” I whisper. “I’m almost done destroying myself and my parents. You’ll be next–I just know it.”

He studies me, wheels turning in his beautiful head. “You won’t because even though you feel helpless and broken, you’re not. You’re strong and courageous. You can’t ruin me because this”–he gestures between us with his free hand–“was meant to happen. We were meant to find each other.”

“I think you might be a sap,” I say, a smirk forming on my face.

“Maybe, but I’m always right.”

“And cocky,” I add.

“I like optimistic better,” he says, his thumb sweeping across my chin.

Therein lies the problem. He’s optimistic, and I’m pessimistic. Two opposites. Does that ever work out in the end? Maybe it does because despite our personalities being different, it’s the dark that has brought us together. Lives we’re leading that we wish we weren’t.

“What makes you human, Hudson?” I ask, needing to hear something that binds us. Is it weird that I love the secrets we tell each other–the things normal people would think make us horrible people? Probably, but I like knowing I’m not the only screwed up person in this world.

“All I’ve wanted to do since I met you is spend every moment with you and learn everything I can, but I have responsibilities. I have a kid, and I hate how wanting to be with you means I sacrifice time with him. I shouldn’t, but I do because for some reason I need to be surrounded by you.”

My chest tightens, and I want nothing more than to shrink into myself

He does have to sacrifice to be with me. And he shouldn’t because his son deserves his full attention. Chris deserves to have every minute with his father that he can.

I try to turn away from Hudson, but he holds me in place. “Don’t worry, he loves staying at my mom’s, but I wanted you to know that if things were different, I’d spend all my time with you.”

I hold back my emotions, all of them threatening to spill out of me for the first time. It’s like I have no filter around him, and holding back is one of the hardest things I’ve had to do. I want to tell him I want that, too. I want him to be around–to be the rock I need, the support to help me through, but how fair is that? It’s not.

And there’s another thing that’s been on my mind, something I would never say out loud for fear of losing him. Do I really want to be involved with someone who has a kid? Because I’ve tried to fight Hudson. I tried not to feel anything when he’s around, but I’ve failed miserably.

But a kid is a lot of responsibility, more responsibility than what I’ve had in the time since I started taking care of my parents. One might argue that it isn’t different because I worked to support them both, but it is because I didn’t have to raise them. I didn’t have to make sure they did homework and didn’t get involved with the wrong people. Kids are a lot, and I’m still a kid myself.

Am I a bad person for thinking that? I don’t know. In Hudson’s words it makes me human, but maybe it makes me a shitty one.

“Your turn,” he says, his head moving closer to me.

“You’re a drug I don’t want to be addicted to, but it’s too late, and I hate how much I want you. I hate that you’re turning into someone I need when I only want to need myself.”

He doesn’t say a word as his lips crash into mine. Most people might be deterred by my words, but not Hudson. He kisses me like his life depends on it, like he’s admitting he needs me, too.

So maybe our paths were intended to cross when we both felt like we had nothing else to give. Maybe this is exactly where we belong–with each other, in a place neither one of us recognizes, but we’re running toward the unknown, chancing a fall like no other.

His hand moves from my chin to the back of my head, drawing me closer. His tongue slips through my lips, and I welcome him and the comfort he brings me. The way he makes me feel safe by just being near me. I didn’t need to leave work early to be alone–I needed this. I needed him to take everything away and make me feel like I’m not as much of an outcast as I think I am–to make me feel like I’m not alone in the world, when I thought I was the only one left standing.

He backs away, leaving my lips bare and longing for another taste of him. He smiles when he sees the pout on my face. “You’re something else entirely, Jade.” He places a soft kiss on my forehead before he stands and closes the door, leaving me as puzzled as ever.

I’m not sure if he meant that as a good or bad thing, but I’m going to go with good because his kiss was demanding and magical. You can’t kiss like that and think the girl you’re kissing is crazy, but I’m way more than crazy. I’m a complete handful.

The driver side door opens, and Hudson plops in his seat, shutting the door behind him. I watch as he tugs his seatbelt across him. The muscles in his arms shifting each time he moves, and I have a hard time wrenching my eyes away before he notices me staring.

“What?” he asks with amusement.

I shake my head. “Nothing.”

“You’re a bad liar, ya know?” he teases, turning on the ignition.

I laugh. “Isn’t that a good thing? That means I’ll never be able to get anything past you.”

“True.” He shifts the car in drive and pulls away from the bar, leaving the bright lights behind us.

“Tell me about your son,” I say, interested in the small person who undoubtedly has Hudson wrapped around his finger. “Why did you name him Chris?”

I might not know anything about kids or if I want to be in his son’s life, but I’m not a complete monster. I know that Chris probably looks up to Hudson like he’s his hero–just like I do my mom.

“His mom’s name was Christina. I wanted to honor her memory. This way he’ll always have a piece of her with him.”

“Does he know that?” I ask.

“He does, but I don’t think he understands the why part.” He frowns.

“He will when he’s older,” I assure him. “What’s he like?”

His gaze quickly sweeps over me before settling back on the road. “He’s a mess.” He chuckles. “He has more energy than I ever thought someone could have. Whenever we go to the grocery store, I have to bribe him with a cookie so he’ll stay by my side and not run around.”

His face beams with adoration, and I love seeing how much he cares for his son. Anytime Hudson talks about Chris light pours out of him.

“He plays baseball, but I’m pretty sure he hates it,” he continues as he makes a right turn. “He’s a little bit of a loner, so I make him participate in activities with other kids. I want him to have friends, and I think he does from the turnout we had at his birthday party, but sometimes I worry about him.”

“I think you’ll always worry.”

“You’re right. Even when he’s forty with his own kids, I’ll worry.” He pauses, seeming to go somewhere else. “I just pray I’m doing everything right. I hope he learns how to be the best version of himself and not get into a situation like I did.”

“If he turns out anything like you, you’ve done your job. You’re a good guy. Don’t think that you aren’t.” I mean it, too, because even though he has a kid, he’s taking care of him. Hudson stepped up when he could have given Chris up.

“Thanks.”

I don’t know if he understands what he’s already done for his son. Every day Hudson is showing Chris that with enough perseverance, you can make it through anything. Even the shittiest of situations can be overcome if you have the willpower to beat the odds.

When I think of my own situation, I think of how I’ve failed. Have I let everyone down or is it only me that has expectations I can’t meet? Do I set myself up for failure every time I put my mind to something because I’ll always wish I could have done it differently? Probably. And I bet it’s exactly why I don’t acknowledge all the positive things I’ve done. I can never meet my own expectations–expectations that no one would ever be able to come close to.

Hudson comes to a stop in front of his trailer and kills the ignition on the car. I push open the door and step out in the night air, breathing in one last time before I step inside for the rest of the night.

“What are you doing?” Hudson whispers as if trying not to disturb me.

“Enjoying the peace.” It’s something to engrain in my memory as one of those moments where I didn’t let anything bother me. I’m free…just for this second.

A chill snakes through me as a draft moves through the air, causing me to shiver. Hudson’s arm falls over my shoulder, securing me to his side. I breathe in one last time, taking in his warmth and strength before heading toward the front door.

He steps inside before me, and a faint glow from the television illuminates his form. When I move around him, I’m surprised to see his mom sitting on the couch with the remote in her hand.

“Thanks, Mom,” he says, leaning down, placing a sweet kiss on her cheek.

“Anytime. You know I’ll help whenever, even if you just need a break.”

I smile at her words, knowing my mom would say the exact same thing.

“This is Jade,” Hudson says, introducing me to his mom.

I stick out my hand for her to shake, but she embraces me in a hug instead. “We met at Chris’s birthday. It’s good to see you again,” she gushes.

“You, too.” I awkwardly hug her back, out of practice from the sentiment.

She pulls away and hugs Hudson before she says, “Chris is asleep. Call me if you need anything.”

“I will. Drive home safely.”

“Always do,” she retorts, patting him on the shoulder. “I’m sure I’ll be seeing you again, Jade.”

“I hope so,” I say.

“I’ll be right back,” Hudson whispers in my ear before he heads out the door behind his mom.

I plop on the couch, relaxing into the cushions. I push off my shoes and curl up on the couch, letting my eyes close for a brief second before the door opens again.

Hudson’s footsteps grow louder as he approaches me. He leans over me, pushing my long brown hair behind my ear. “What do you think you’re doing?” he asks, amused.

“Getting comfy.” I wiggle around on the couch, sinking further into it.

“I don’t think so.” He takes my hands in his and tugs me to a sitting position before lifting me off the couch. “I’m on the couch. You’re this way.” He turns around, keeping one of my hands in his hold, guiding me through the living room and kitchen to a closed door.

He opens the door, revealing a room with a queen bed and nothing else. The room is bare. No pictures. No anything–just a bed, dresser, night stand, and lamp.

“You’ll sleep in my room.” He lets go of my hand and walks over to his bed, straightening the covers. “Do you want a change of clothes?”

“I’ll be fine.” I’m wearing shorts and a t-shirt, but I won’t dare let myself be engulfed in Hudson more than I already am.

“The bathroom is right outside my room, and I’ll be in the living room. Let me know if you need anything.”

He starts to leave, but I stop him, placing my hand on his arm. “Can you stay for a little while?”

He looks at me as if he’s unsure if he wants to stay or not, and I’m about to tell him never mind when he nods his head and walks back to his bed.

My shoulders sag in relief as I slide onto the bed, resting my head on his pillow, being submerged in his world–taking in a lungful of cinnamon and spice.

He lays next to me, propping his head on the palm of his hand.

“Why is your room so bare?” I ask, my eyes skating across the white walls painted in a warm glow from the lamp on the night stand.

He shrugs, his mouth pulling to one side. “I don’t need much.”

I watch as his shoulders tense, his eyes avoiding me. “And what’s the truth?”

He blows out a loud exhale. “I give Chris everything.” He drops his head to the pillow, placing his hand under it. “I buy him what he needs and a few things he wants. I sacrifice for him, but I’m okay with that. He deserves more than what I have to give.”

I shake my head. “He has everything he needs in you.”

His lips tip up, and my heart leaps in my chest, knowing I made him smile–that I helped when I never thought I could.

“What are you going to do about your mom?” he asks, his leg tangling with mine.

I press my lips together to keep from grinning like a schoolgirl with a crush on the cutest boy in class.

“What do you mean?”

“You should spend time with her, be there for her while you still can.” He tucks a stand of my hair behind my ear, and I shiver from the action. “Don’t waste the days you have left with her, avoiding her and working. You’ll regret that for the rest of your life. As much as it might hurt to watch her drift away, the pain you’ll experience from not being there for her will be far worse.”

“What if I’m not strong enough?”

“You are. You’re stronger than you know.”

“How do you know?”

He places his hand over my rapidly beating heart. “Because you’ve been standing on your own taking care of everyone, too scared to live your own life. The people who fight for the ones around them are the ones to look out for, because they’re the ones who take the world by storm–who prove to everyone around them that they won’t let anything tear them down.” His hand moves to the side of my face. “I see that in you. You’re strong like a lion, fighting to protect the ones you love.”

“You say it like you’re so sure of yourself.”

“I am, but don’t forget, if you fall down, I’ll be here to catch you. I’ll be here to pick you back up because I fight to protect people, too.”

He leans closer, placing a light kiss to my mouth. “I won’t let you fall,” he whispers before pushing his lips firmer against mine, being more than I ever thought he would.

He kisses me like I’m the one keeping him together, but that’s where he’s wrong. He’s keeping me together, but he can’t keep me from falling.