Three fucking hours. That’s how long I made myself sit there, pretending like my eyes weren’t following Dani’s every move, like I wasn’t drinking in the husky sound of her laughter or the way the tip of her nose crinkled when she smiled. I used my water bottle like a stress ball, the plastic crinkled and dented from how many times I’d squeezed the hell out of it.

What was she doing here?

I couldn’t stop thinking it. The words wouldn’t stop circling around my head. It couldn’t be a coincidence, could it? I could buy that we’d both end up in the city. It was a big place. But the gala and now this, her working at The Blackbird? My place? That far surpassed a minor coincidence, which left me with two options: intent or fate. And with the way Dani had reacted, or hadn’t reacted to seeing me, and the way she wasn’t even looking at me, let alone talking to me, intent didn’t seem like the most reasonable conclusion. What point would there be to searching me out only to ignore me?

Then again, I didn’t believe in fate. Not anymore.

I spun my water bottle cap on the bar top, watching it wobble until it saucered and came to a rest. I was done torturing myself inside my own head. “Heard anything from Rachel?”

Ben’s gaze flicked from his phone, to me, and back. “Ian said the job’s going well, Cali is wonderful, and there’s a very distinct possibility the company might offer her a permanent position.”

Ah. The lightbulb went on inside my head. The cause of Ben’s most recent Rachel distress was that she might relocate to the opposite coast. News that he didn’t even hear from her firsthand. I guess pining for someone was a bit more difficult to do with several thousand miles between you.

I shrugged, my hand involuntarily tightening around my water bottle as Dani moved into my periphery. The bottom edge of her shirt drifted up as she reached for a bottle of something or other on the top shelf. “It wouldn’t be the first time some company or another offered her a permanent home. Everybody’s trying to pin her down, and yet she’s never agreed to any of them.”

Rachel did something with computers and security and hacking. I wasn’t entirely sure what all the details were but it essentially involved her making buttloads of money while she pointed out to companies their cyber vulnerabilities and gave them solutions for how to fix them. She was pretty badass.

“One day she’s going to.” The screen on his phone went dark and he lifted a hand to run it over his close cropped hair. “This could be it. You know how much she loves Cali.”

That I did. She’d fallen in love with it during college, but for some reason had headed back home after graduation. If you’d given me one guess and the risk that if I’d guessed wrong I’d lose one of my nuts, I’d still posit that the reason she didn’t stay in the place she loved was for the person she loved more—Ben.

“You, uh,”—I coughed lightly into my fist—“ever think of giving her a reason to stay?”

He shook his head slightly, the muscle in his cheek bunching. “Every damn day.” With a disgusted look at his drink—or perhaps it was just the universe he was fed up with and his drink that happened to get the brunt of his stare—he tossed a handful of bills on the scarred wood and left without another word.

I blew out a breath. One day that guy was going to get his shit together and figure out that what he was missing out on was more important than whatever hang-ups were keeping him away. It was still debatable whether that revelation would occur before Rachel had given up and moved on.

It took me a second to realize that with Ben leaving, it gave me a perfectly viable excuse to do the same myself. My chest lightened as the reality of my impending escape dawned on me, right up until the second Dani stopped directly in front of me to collect Ben’s payment. Then it was right back to having a freaking cement truck parked on top of it.

With her gaze still focused on the crisply folded bills she asked, “You alright? Anything else you need?”

Anything else I need? Fuck yes. I needed to know why she was here. I needed to know why, after all these years, she waltzed right back into the middle of my life. I needed to know why she left in the first place.

I must have been silent for too long, which made her look up at me. The eye contact was the worst, because when she looked at me, really looked at me, it was exactly like the lie I’d given Ben—like I was absolutely no one to her. Except this time I was so disarmed by her question, so agonized by the answers I wanted but would never get, that I forgot to hide it from my face.

And there it was. The tiniest flicker of emotion on her face, the smallest flare of her own internal struggle that she was clearly fighting. “Gav . . .” Her hand lifted, aiming for mine.

My hand couldn’t retreat fast enough, finding my lap in record time. “Don’t.” I was too wrecked at that moment to let her touch me without letting it break me.

Her face shuttered, going blank. She closed her eyes and blew out a breath. “I didn’t—”

My phone started ringing, obnoxiously blaring out “Thong Song” by Sisqo. Probably not the most appropriate ringtone for your youngest sister to pick out for herself, but she was apparently worried about my image.

And so it was that a song asking women to show me their thongs interrupted what was quickly shaping up to be the most incredibly awkward and painful conversation I’d had in a very long time. I couldn’t help the effortless smile that snuck across my face, and when Dani’s lips tipped up in the corner, an involuntary grin surprised out of her, I fucking ran.

Her indifference hurt, but that smile, God it was so much worse. It was flashbacks to the best time of my life. Memories I’d tried so hard to forget. Pain I’d done almost anything to try to numb.

My feet took me out the back entrance, sneakers hitting the asphalt. I swiped my thumb across my still-ringing screen. “Hey Daph, can you hold on a second?”

“One second, but definitely no more than seven.”

“Great, thanks for being so patient.” I set my phone on the lid of the Dumpster, and then very methodically, punched the very hard, slightly damp, brick wall next to it. “Motherfucker!” I shook out my hand. The pain was immediate, like white lightning streaking from my fist all the way up my forearm. It completely overloaded my brain, making it impossible to think of anything else. Finally.

I grabbed my cell with my other hand and pinched it between my cheek and shoulder. “Sorry about that.” With my good hand, I felt over my cracked and bleeding knuckles. They were bruised but didn’t feel broken. Not that it really mattered. I could easily hold a microphone with either hand.

“Should I ask?”

I snorted. “I’d rather you didn’t.”

“So, it’s a girl problem.” She hmmed under her breath. “You know, I’m a girl. I could help.”

Even though she couldn’t see me I rolled my eyes. “Was there something you needed?”

“No.” Something squeaked on her end, like perhaps she’d dramatically flopped onto her bed. At eighteen, practically everything Daphne did was dramatic. “I’m just bored.”

“Shouldn’t you be out, umm, hanging with friends or something? Going to a party?”

“Is that the recommendation from my older, wiser brother? Go party?”

My hand was still stinging so I shook it again. “Of course not. Stay home, study, and if you’re feeling particularly ambitious read the Bible.”

She huffed out a laugh. “We don’t even own a Bible.”

“Don’t tell Mom, she’s highly convinced we’re all devout Catholics.”

“Only on Christmas and Easter.” She sighed. “Lilah asked me to ask you to call her.”

“Funny, I’ve got a couple messages from her asking the same exact thing.”

“And you still need to convince Mom that me staying with Darlene over the summer is a good idea.”

Somehow, having four sisters was like having a never-ending list of favors that needed to be done. Not that I ever complained, life would be bland without them. “Anything V needs while I’m at it?”

“Not at the moment, but, to be fair, she’s probably hiking up the side of some mountain or another and doesn’t have any way to get in touch at the moment. Hold on.” The speaker fuzzed out static. “I’ve got another call, gotta run. Don’t forget to talk to Mom!”

I shook my head at the now silent phone and slipped it into my pocket. I’d only taken two steps toward the street when the sound of a can careening across the alley caught my attention. I turned, squinting through the shadows, half-prepared to find a rat or rabid raccoon trailing me. Something black and furry wiggled out from underneath the Dumpster, weighed down by the sheer enormity of its ears.

I dropped down to my knees. “Well, what the hell are you?”