Exhaustion weighed down my eyelids, fatigue emanating from every pore. All I wanted was a bed—a hard one, a soft one, one without pillows—I wasn’t even picky at this point. But even more than a bed, I wanted to close my eyes and pretend today never happened. I sucked in a deep breath at the sharp ache in my chest. I’d been shot and had my heart broken and nothing, nothing, compared to how I was feeling in that moment.
Gavin’s fingertips grazed my cheek. “Tell me what I can do.”
My hand covered his, holding it in place. “Just keep being you.”
“Are you sure there isn’t someone else you’d like me to be? I’m fairly decent with impressions.” His smile hesitated on his lips.
I looked up at the door to his condo and his gaze tracked mine. He shook his head. “I can tell them all to go home. We don’t have to do this tonight.”
Saint that he was, Gavin hadn’t asked for any answers when Bianca led me out of the interrogation room. He hadn’t asked on the ride over, and he was still wasn’t asking. “Yes, we do, because when I wake up in the morning I want to put this behind me and never think about it again.”
The elevator binged behind us and Bianca strode out, shoving her keys in her purse. She gave me a quick once-over, lips pinching at the corners. “You want me to clear everyone out?”
I shook my head. “They deserve to know.”
Six heads perked up when I opened the door—one of them covered in fur and with inquisitive ears. Elvis trotted over and sat at my feet, head cocked to the side. I dropped into a crouch to scratch him behind the ears. His eyes softened as he looked at me, like he knew something intrinsic inside me was broken, and my vision blurred. “I’m just going to grab some coffee and I’ll meet you all in the living room.”
The two of them reluctantly left me, and I quickly scrubbed a hand over my eyes. Blowing out a heavy breath, I headed for the kitchen, Elvis trailing at my heels. And since my day hadn’t sucked enough, I found Ben rummaging through the refrigerator.
Ignoring him, I stood on my tiptoes to grab a mug from the cabinet. One K-Cup and the press of a button later and I was halfway to the cup of coffee I desperately needed.
A water bottle crinkled behind me and a throat cleared. “Are you alright?”
The edge of the countertop bit into my palms as I squeezed it. “No.”
“Listen.” Ben sighed. “I know you think I’m an asshole. Which is fine, I’m not here to change your opinion of me. I just hope you understand that these guys are my family, and anything I might have said was only to protect Gavin. It was never about you.” The Keurig hissed as it spit out hot water, and he paused. “I’m glad you’re sticking around, Dani. For Gavin’s sake.”
It’d been a long day, so my ears could’ve been deceiving me, but that little speech sounded suspiciously like an apology. Or as close to one as I’d ever get from someone like him. I ran a hand over my hair and turned around so I could look him in the eye. “I love him, you know.”
His thumb tapped against the cap of his water bottle. “Good. He deserves it.”
“So does Rachel.” I folded my arms across my chest.
His eyes met mine. It might’ve been the first time he’d ever really looked me in the eye, or at least the first time he’d done it without searing me with his disdain. He looked just as broken as I felt inside; he looked as lonely as a person ever could. “Sometimes even that’s not enough.”
He didn’t give me a chance to answer him, and by the time I’d grabbed my cup of coffee and made it to the living room, he was back to his typical self—an indifferent, aloof ass.
Gavin patted the cushion next to him. I sat and leaned into his side, tucking my legs up underneath me. My coffee was still scalding hot, but I couldn’t resist a sip. It burned the entire way down, but I cherished the feeling, the way it distracted me from the way my heart ached every time it beat.
I didn’t know where to start—with my mom, and the fact that my dad . . . I cringed, my mind retreating away from the mental images that thought conjured up.
“I like your hair,” Daphne piped up. “Do you change it a lot when you, um, move around?”
“Almost always. Sometimes color contacts, too.” My gaze dropped to my coffee.
“Is everything all settled with the police?” Ian asked.
“Mostly.”
“Mostly?” Gavin stiffened at my side.
Nope, I couldn’t sit. I padded over to the window, nervous energy flowing through me. There was no way to predict how they’d respond to my news—how they’d feel about Gavin’s girlfriend being the naïve daughter to a mass murderer.
I squared my shoulders and forced the words out. “I’ve spent my entire life running because I thought my father got sold out by the NYPD, that they burned his cover and got my mother killed.” I ran my tongue over my lips. “In reality he’s dragged me back and forth across the country, leaving a trail of bodies behind us. He’s a murderer. A monster.”
I’m the monster that kills monsters.
My stomach heaved as his justification circled through my head. Like there could ever be any justification for what he did.
“H-he killed your mother?” Juliet’s voice was barely a whisper.
I finally turned away from the window. “Yes.”
“You never went looking for information?” Rachel’s eyebrows zipped together, wrinkling her brow. “Never Googled it?”
“I never had any reason to distrust him.” I lifted one shoulder in a half shrug. “And I used to have these nightmares.” My gaze snuck to Gavin’s, waiting for him to put the pieces together. “Horrible, horrific nightmares. I could barely sleep as it was without digging things up, stumbling across pictures . . .” I pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to force back those exact images as they flashed behind my eyes.
“The police think Dani was involved with all this?” Gavin directed the question to Bianca.
“We made a deal with them—immunity for Dani in exchange for her assistance catching her father.”
“Are you kidding me?” Gavin burst to his feet. “She’s just going to put herself in danger, go toe-to-toe with a psychopath—”
“I already did.” I held the mug to my chest, the warmth of it bleeding through my shirt. “Today.”
“You what?” His hand curled into a fist and he pressed it against his lips. “Tell me they caught him.”
I shook my head.
“So, what, you’re going to do it again?”
“If I have to.”
The couch groaned as Juliet stood. “I think it’s time we left.” Her arms wrapped around me in a fierce hug. “I’m so glad you’re okay.”
“We all are,” Ben added.
In the span of a few minutes, they all filtered out and then there was no one left but Gavin and me. He hadn’t moved at all—his back stiff, one hand wrapped around the back of his neck, his gaze nowhere even in this zip code.
“Gav,” I said softly, setting my mug on the coffee table so I could lay a hand on his arm.
He shook his head. “Just give me a minute.” His hands fell to his side and he started pacing the length of the condo—the entire length, there and back, once, twice, three times.
He stopped in front of me, his fingers brushing through the short strands of my dark hair. “Was there any other choice?”
“Not if I wanted to stay out of jail.”
His lips clamped into a line. “Do you think . . . are you in danger?”
“From my father? No.” My fingers twisted in the edge of his shirt. “But there are people out there who wouldn’t hesitate to use me to get to him.”
“The police—”
“Not the police.”
His eyes widened, then dropped shut, his forehead pressing against mine. “Are you going to run again? Am I going to lose you?”
My fingers slid around to his back, pressing into his warm skin. “I’m done running. This is where I want to be—with you. If they want me, they’ll have a hell of a fight on their hands.”
He laughed, and the feel of it vibrated through me. “I’m not sure I’m quite up to the task of being your sidekick.”
“Don’t worry.” My lips pressed against his, and for that moment there was nothing but us and the inescapable rush of a love that’d changed my life. His eyes were hazy when I pulled back. “I’ve got a few moves I can show you.”