I dreamt of Cooper. In my dream, the few hours I’d been able to sleep, I dreamt of nothing but him. It wasn’t even a sexual dream, but an intimate one nonetheless where I woke up in the morning and he brought me coffee. Where we worked side-by-side on the land, hand-in-hand, where he gave up his life to settle down with me in nowhere Kansas. We spent the night rocking on the front porch on a swinging bench I didn’t own but had always wanted. He took the animals with me to the fairs when I showed them, and he hauled all the feed into the feeding pens and poured them in troughs so I could take it easy and relax.

In my dream, my stomach was swollen and ready to pop, and with one hand on my stomach, his had covered mine and he kissed my mouth, smiling and whispering, “Most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen in the whole world.”

Joseph and I had talked about children, and we’d considered starting to try, but then my parents had died and our plans to take over the ranch had moved forward before we were fully ready for them. Having children was pushed to the back burner while we found our rhythm on the ranch, but those months hadn’t been easy. Neither had the year that followed. We had a drought, lost some cattle, feed prices increased, and it’d been difficult even then to maintain what we had. The drought had dried up two of the small watering holes the cows typically drank from and the natural spring had gotten so low we’d had to water the land, something that rarely happened. Our expenses went sky high and so did our stress, mostly mine, because this was all I ever wanted, and as the months wore on and Joseph shouldered my stress as well as his own, we hadn’t been very kind to one another.

Then I’d learned after one night of fighting, he’d headed to Jack’s bar, ran into Jenni who was so willing to help him unload his anger by using her body to do it and weeks later, she’d texted, telling him how she missed him.

I’d lost my mind.

A night later my husband was dead and I was so caught up in my anger and grief, I’d buried my dreams of all that I’d wanted and planned, because if the man who had loved me more than life couldn’t stay faithful to me, and if we couldn’t have a stable marriage when times got tough after all we’d already been through, then how in the hell did I think any man could be that guy?

He left me not only with a gaping hole of grief and anger, but he’d carved out an empty spot where my trust had once been.

Last night’s dream was just a dream, but it had felt so real, so good, and so beautiful, even if it was a mirage, that when Cooper had brushed his lips against mine to wake me up, it was all it took to set aside my fears and my hang-ups.

He’d leave. He had to. Or, he most likely would. I figured my dream life wouldn’t come true with Cooper, but I could still enjoy the time we had together. I could learn from him.

I could begin to repair some of those broken, dark pieces inside of me and become whole again.

He didn’t understand why I kept talking to him before I showered. I looked and sounded like a crazy woman, and he was right, we’d get to it later, but I needed him to know everything.

He hadn’t held anything back from me, not with his marriage or who he was, and yet I’d kept some of the most important parts of me under lock and key. It’d been over eight months since Joseph died and I hadn’t told anyone the truth.

I figured Jenni Akers and I were the only two in town who would suspect my husband was a liar and unfaithful, and I hoped to always keep it that way.

But, you didn’t build trust and hope with secrets and it was time I unloaded that on someone, and Cooper had proven to be able to handle the crazy mess of a woman I already was.

I sipped my coffee and finished fixing my hair. I pulled it back into a messy top knot, and in between sips of coffee to finish waking me up, I applied a light coat of mascara and blush to give me color. It clashed with the dark circles beneath my eyes, but in the last year, even before then, I’d quit making a concentrated effort with my appearance. My hair was either braided or in a ponytail and my makeup routine fell to the side. It might have been due to the stress, or the simple comfort of being married so long, but I looked better when I took a few minutes and made an effort.

I felt better about myself, and that was most important.

I moved to the bedroom and was tugging on a pair of denim cut-off shorts when my phone vibrated on the dresser.

Brooke: You okay? Gossip’s hit town there was something going on at your place last night. Gunshots?!

Me: All’s well. I’ll tell you more later. But can you do me a huge favor?

Brooke: Anything. Hit me with it.

Could I ask her? I could. I hadn’t done this since high school, and my cheeks burned as I typed out my message to her.

Her reply was instant.

Woohhhh!!!! I guess that means Cooper’s back!

A string of emojis followed, a few eggplants and inappropriate finger gestures got her point across.

I deleted it and slid the phone into my pocket.

I’d taken long enough to get ready and still had what I knew was going to be a very long, exhausting day ahead of me.

And, I didn’t even want to think about later in the night.

---

“I’m sorry, Rebecca. Need me to call Kelly?”

“No, but thank you. I’ll be okay.”

I always loved having a friend as a police officer. It made me feel safer in a small town that was already relatively free of crime. With Ryan standing in front of me, his face an equal mixture of compassion and anger, I was more than thankful.

He was fit to be tied with what they found on my land, and there was no doubt in my mind he’d do everything in his power to figure out what in the hell happened last night.

Two of my calves. Gone. One with a bullet lodged in his head. The other one was ripped the length of his gut, consistent with a coyote. Obviously, Shawn was going with someone shooting at a coyote theory, but it still didn’t explain how they got to my animals to shoot unless they were already on my land.

I’d already pointed my finger across the land toward the Jeffersons.

Any evidence they’d found had already been bagged and removed, and then they’d told me I could come see the calves. Without thought, I tossed Cooper the keys to one of the four-wheelers and climbed on behind him. I wrapped my arms around his stomach, held him tight, and rested my forehead on his shoulder, dreading what I’d find.

Seeing it in person was just as, if not more, dreadful than I could have imagined.

To some, they were cows, to me, they were my livelihood and I did my best to treat them as respectfully as possible. It was my honor to raise healthy livestock to aid in healthy diets. Someone had just murdered them.

“We should get out of here,” Cooper said, already guiding me back to the four-wheeler.

I rested my head on his shoulder again and then reached around and took his hand in mine, holding his hand while we walked.

“We need to get them buried. I should call Jordan and see if he’ll help. Or maybe Peter can send a few men over.” No way in hell was I inviting the Jeffersons onto my property to help bury them.

“I’ll do it. You rest when we get back.”

“They’re my responsibility—” I started to say but he squeezed my hand and talked over me.

“And I’m here to help. Let me do this.”

I considered arguing further, but damn, I really was exhausted.

“Thanks, Cooper,” I said as I climbed onto the ATV again behind him. “I think I could use a nap.”

“Good. Because I want you well rested for our talk later—and afterward.”

His salacious grin told me exactly what he wanted.

Thank goodness I’d called Brooke.

---

“Wake up! Wake up!”

My bed jiggled and wiggled and I bounced along with it, forcing one eye open.

“Ugh.” I grabbed a pillow and flung it at Brooke before rolling over. “Go away.”

“No.” Small taps of what felt like plastic rained down all over my back, almost making me itch. One slapped my face and landed on the bed next to me.

Barely opening my eyes, I reached for it, and held it up to my face.

“Are you serious?” I asked, rolling to my back. All the foil packets she’d dumped all over me crinkled as I moved. “How many did you get?”

My bed was covered in condoms. She had to have bought out the store. A quick scan showed she’d bought different sizes, different colors, and was that ribbed and dotted for her pleasure?

I reached for it.

“Yeah. I like those too.”

“You’re insane. I asked for a box, not for you to rob the warehouse where they store them.”

She shrugged and plopped down on the bed, sitting on her knees with her feet tucked beneath her. “I didn’t know what you’d like. Or what he’d need. See?” She held up one that had one or two more X’s than I was used to seeing on a package. “I mean, he looks like he could have some serious equipment to work with.”

She tossed it down.

I dropped my head into my hands and groaned. “Brooke. Please don’t—”

“Or you know,” she continued like she wasn’t the most ridiculous person on the planet. “Maybe he’s not proportioned well, so then you’d need the snugger fit.” A packet landed in my lap. Yup, sure enough, they made condoms in a snug fit size. I threw it to the floor. That one, I knew I didn’t need.

“And this?” I threw a strawberry flavored packet at her face.

“Hey, a little bit of variety and a splash of color now and then can keep things spicy.”

“I don’t even want to know how you know this.”

“Well, you see—”

“No.” I grabbed a handful of condom packages and threw them all over her. “I really don’t want to know.”

She bounced and grinned, her sandy brown hair bobbed on her shoulders. “Spoilsport. So, when’s the big event?”

I made a mental note never to call Brooke for help again and shuffled to the bathroom, slamming the door. “None of your business!”

Silence came from her side and I figured she left, so after I quickly used the restroom and splashed water on my face, I opened the door, figuring Brooke would be spread out all over my bed that was now covered with more condoms than I’d ever seen in my life.

Instead, I came face to face with Cooper, staring at my bed with a condom wrapper in his hand.

“Care to explain?” he asked, turning and grinning at me over his shoulder.