I was staring at a hundred condoms, at least, littered and spread all over Rebecca’s bed. Brooke had shown up with a large paper bag in her hand and I’d sent her right upstairs, letting her know that Rebecca was probably napping, but she’d been doing that for hours. She’d slept through lunch, and it was closing in on time to start getting ready for dinner.

I buried the cattle, the hard work fizzling the anger and desire I had to stomp over to Jefferson’s land and return their care in shooting a coyote by putting a bullet in one of their animals but thought better of it.

No sense in doing anything of the sort until there was proof. Instead, I spent the rest of the time in her office, going through the cattle records like she’d explained to me once, filling out the paperwork on the cattle she lost.

“I don’t have to explain a thing,” Rebecca said. She walked right up to me and tugged the condom out of my hand. I didn’t even know they made pineapple flavored ones…but the ideas it gave me were something else. “You’ve met Brooke, you know she’s nuts.”

“Yeah, I know that, but I’m more wondering why she brought them in the first place.”

Rebecca nibbled her bottom lip and rubbed a finger across the spot. “Because I asked her to,” she said, and I had to lean in to hear her, she spoke so quietly.

Halle-freaking-lujah. Bet Gloria wouldn’t want me praising God at the thought of sex coming my way.

I brushed the woman out of my mind and grinned at Rebecca. “Why did you ask her to?”

If she thought I was letting this one go, especially since she was adorable with her cheeks darkening by the second, she was dead wrong.

She shrugged and grabbed a handful of the wrappers. They fell through her spread fingers like candy and she laughed, shaking her head. “You know why I did. Don’t make me say it. And I only called her because I knew I’d be busy today.” She turned to me and pointed. “And you promised we’d finish what you started this morning later.”

My dick jerked and pressed against the zipper. Apparently, both of my brains were excited about that delightful possibility.

“I see.” I moved to the floor, close to the dented wall, which I tried to ignore and grabbed my bag. I flung it onto the bed and unzipped it. Digging through my crap, I grabbed the box I’d brought and added it to the pile. “Looks like Brooke and I think alike.”

Her hands settled on her hips and she laughed. It was cute and sweet, and she shook her head. “I honestly think there is not enough time in the world to have enough sex to go through all of these.”

I’d be willing to prove her wrong. I considered teasing her about it but changed my mind.

She nibbled on that lip again, and she only did that for two reasons, she was either nervous or thinking.

I didn’t want her doing either of those things when I brought her back here later.

“Come on.” I took her elbow in my hand and tugged her toward me. “Brooke took off. Said she had to get home before the boys had to be picked up from camp. But she did tell me to enjoy my night…which now makes so much more sense.”

“Brooke sucks.”

“Brooke loves you. And she’s hilarious.”

“Yeah. She still sucks, though.”

I’d give her that. Her friend was a complete nut, but everything Rebecca told me about her before I ever met her still rang true. She was crazy and loud, but loyal as hell. It actually felt good to know I had Brooke’s approval.

“I’ve got steaks marinating, ready to grill for whenever you’re hungry and I have some wine opened for you. How about we eat dinner”—and since I couldn’t resist, I continued—“and then see how many of those packets we can use tonight.”

“Oh God.” She made a choking sound and stumbled on her feet. “You are ridiculous.”

Yeah, but I made her laugh, too, and hearing that sound, knowing I’m the one who made her make it, always made me feel like a king.

---

Dinner was delicious and the company even sweeter. When we got downstairs, Rebecca had set to work roasting a pan of Brussels sprouts and whipped up garlic mashed potatoes. While she cooked, I kept her company near the kitchen counter, stealing snack-sized bites of whatever she was working on until she whacked my hand with a spatula.

It was just so damn easy to be with her. There were no pretenses, nothing hidden besides what she kept locked up in her brown eyes. Rebecca wasn’t only beautiful and determined and one of the hardest workers I’d ever met in my life, she was just her. She wore little makeup, casual clothes that hugged all her sexy curves, typically tank tops and frayed denim shorts. Her hair was down around her shoulders, but still held the kink of a ponytail band she’d put in it earlier.

She stunned me breathless not only with her beauty but the ease in which she simply invited everyone around to come closer. She had the vulnerability a man like me wanted to protect, the backbone to stand on her own.

Fucking hell. I’d gone and fallen in love with a woman who not only lived half a country away from me but was still in love with her husband. I’d known I was falling for her. Knew I cared a hell of a lot about her, but it was this moment, that night, where we were sitting in the fresh air, doing nothing more special than enjoying each other’s quiet company and easy laughter when it hit me.

I would die a happy man if this was all I had to live for and carry not a single damn regret of walking away from dreams I’d had my entire life. I just hoped like hell when it was time for me to let Rebecca know, she’d want it just as much as I did.

I took a large, cooling swallow of the sweet drink and turned to Rebecca.

Her feet were propped on the edge of the rock fire pit we hadn’t lit. Her gaze was on the skyline, the setting sun lighting up the sky in pinks and purples mixed with brilliant orange hues. Her drink was still in her lap, her hands wrapped around it, but she hadn’t taken a single drink since we came outside.

“You’re quiet,” I said, noticing for the first time both of us had been. Were her thoughts as heavy as mine, as revealing as mine just were? Or was she able to enjoy the peace and quiet with a blank mind.

The tightening of her lips when I spoke told me her mind was anything but blank.

She brought her glass to her lips and sipped, licking her lips as she settled the glass back in her lap. “Joseph cheated on me. I’ve never told a single person.”

She twisted her head, met my gaze, and looked forward. There wasn’t a single emotion splayed over her features I could name.

Her words knocked the wind and my vocabulary right out of my chest. She loved him. She didn’t hide that. And over the last several weeks, she’d shared so much about her life with him, with me, I sometimes went to bed wondering how in the hell she’d ever move on from him, she loved him so much.

“What?” I shook my head. I had to have misunderstood.

“Ryan knows, but I don’t even think he’s ever told Kelly but if he has, she’s never brought it up to me.”

“Rebecca—”

She shook her head. “Let me get this out.” Her head twisted toward me again and back to the land before I could respond. “I have to get this out.”

I resisted the urge to haul her into my lap and hug her while rage boiled my blood. To Rebecca, Joseph walked on water. She made that clear. And the asshole had cheated on her? What in the fuck was wrong with him?

“We argued the night he died. That was when I found out. He said it had only happened once, but…”

My hand curled into a fist and I leaned forward, setting my drink glass on the fire pit edge before I shattered it. I shifted the chair, turned to face her so I could watch her even if she needed to stare off into the distance to talk to me.

I’d give her whatever she fucking needed.

“The year before that had been hard for us. My parents had died, we were learning how to work together as the ones running this place, not just helping out my dad, and we weren’t really seeing eye-to-eye. He wanted to change things, I wanted to keep everything the same. It was too much, too much stress and fighting after losing my parents. I didn’t know he’d gone to the bar one night and taken Jenni Akers out back, though. The night I found out, I was on his phone and she texted him, saying how much she missed the feel of him.”

God, what a dick. In my mind, the betrayal of seeing Camilla screwing another man flashed and I shook it away.

Rebecca had always said she and I had gone through similar circumstances, I just always took it to mean we both knew the pain of loss…not the sting of betrayal, too.

“I kicked him out that night and he went to Ryan’s. He told him everything, begged him asking how he could fix it with us and even though I’d told him not to come back, he had. He called me, left me a message that said he loved me and he was coming back home so we could talk—” She tripped over her words and I reached for her, settled my hand on her knee so she knew I was there.

She acted like she didn’t feel it, there wasn’t a single twitch of her skin to show she knew I was touching her. She was lost in a sea of horrific memories. I settled in to hear more even though what I’d already heard was enough.

Goddamn it. No fucking wonder she hadn’t been able to move on for so long.

“It’d been raining, and it was unseasonably cold. So damn cold the roads iced over. He hit a patch on a bridge and lost control.” A heavy breath fell from her and her shoulders sagged. She twisted, her gaze landing on me. “I never got answers and I never got closure. He died and the last thing I screamed at him was how much I hated him.” Her chin trembled and I squeezed her knee. God, I wanted to pull her into my arms. “I didn’t hate him.”

Her eyes filled with tears. I took her glass away and pulled her into my lap, cupping her cheeks with my palms. “It’s okay to hate him and be pissed, and it’s okay to still love him, too. No one would judge you for that, Rebecca.”

“I never wanted anyone to know. Not just because I was embarrassed and ashamed, but because I didn’t want that as everyone’s memory of him.”

“So you hid,” I concluded.

I hated that for her, hated she felt like she had to do it to preserve the memory of a dead man who didn’t end up being that great, or at least that faithful of a man, and I hated it more she didn’t feel like she could turn to anyone.

But mostly, I was really fucking honored she was telling me. She was giving me something of hers no one else had and she trusted me with it, trusted me to handle her with care through it.

I pulled her to my chest and hugged her, settling my hand at the back of her head, fingers tangled in her hair while she fought through tears and her memories.

Eventually, she pulled back and wiped beneath her eyes. “When I saw the picture of you last night, you were smiling at Camilla, and it was the same look you’d given me in the photo I saw of us at Down Home.”

“If I was smiling with Camilla, it’s because I was thinking of you.”

“It doesn’t really matter. Joseph shattered my trust and I’ve never been able to get closure on it. I’ve never been given the answers I needed or even the time to be pissed, or forgive, or lash out at him, or slash his tires.” She laughed and I shook my head. Brooke’s brand of crazy had definitely rubbed off on her. “And you, you’re leaving anyway, you know? And I’ve never seen your movies, but I know how popular you are, you’re Cooper Hawke, one of the richest men in Hollywood according to Brooke, and it’s hard for me to grasp that you’re here and that…well, you’re so damn sweet.”

I’d have to piece my way through everything she spewed. And I knew that uncertainty in her eyes. I recognized that fear in her eyes.

Now, all of it made so much more damn sense.

This woman began falling for me, possibly even before she realized she was doing it and it didn’t scare her, it terrified the hell out of her.

But now, all those mines I had to navigate were exposed, and our path easier. She’d ripped off the veil that hid the last pieces of her from me.

I just had to handle it with care, and I’d die trying to prove to her I was never going to be the kind of man Joseph was.

I leaned forward and grabbed our glasses, handing hers to her before taking mine. She adjusted herself on my lap, legs draped over the side of mine and rested her shoulder against mine.

She took a drink. I did the same.

I slid my other hand through her hair, starting at her scalp and dragging it out, letting her silken hair fall through my fingertips. She settled her head against my shoulder and sighed.

I could tell her then, that I didn’t want to leave. I could tell her all the plans I had to make with Max, all the ideas I had that could actually keep me here. But tonight wasn’t that. I’d wait.

I had all the time in the world to be with her, and since she admitted how hurt she was, how much she felt like she couldn’t trust, my words would mean little to her. Actions and time would prove it.

So I couldn’t give her everything I wanted. It was too soon. Too much too fast.

Still, I could give her something.

I kissed her forehead. “I will never regret, never be more thankful than I am right now, for every single moment I get to spend with you.”