Chapter Twenty-Four
From the time we left the parking lot until we made it back to my apartment, everything was kind of a blur. My mind was beyond overwhelmed, and I was lucky I remembered how to drive.
We made it in one piece, though, and the silence that had been between us since we left the restaurant stayed with us all the way up to my third-floor apartment.
In my narrow kitchen, we cracked open a couple of beers and leaned against the counters on opposite sides. The silence lingered, but it was comfortable. Contemplative, not awkward.
“Thinking about your son?” he asked after a while.
I nodded. “How’d you guess?”
“Had a hunch. He seemed pretty happy tonight.”
“Yeah.” I released a long breath. “He really, really did.” I reached up to rub my neck, wondering how long it would stay this tense now that the evening was over. “I know he’s still dealing with depression, and he always will, but damn, it was good to see him that happy tonight.”
“I imagine this was a huge weight off his chest.”
Rolling my stiff shoulders, I sagged against the counter. “I just wish I’d known about it. I hate that he had to carry it by himself all this time.” My heart clenched just thinking about it. Swallowing hard, I met Sailo’s gaze. “He’s got enough to deal with, you know? Feeling like he has to keep that kind of secret from his parents…”
“You couldn’t have known.” Sailo slid his hands over my waist. “You’ll just drive yourself crazy trying to change the past, but the good thing is, the future’s going to be better.”
“Yeah.” I swallowed hard. “Better late than never, right?”
“Absolutely.”
“And it really, really was good to see him like that. Devon seems like a pretty good guy.”
“He does. That must be a huge relief.”
“God, yes.” I smiled. “There’s nothing better than realizing your kid’s found a good partner. My daughter’s husband is amazing, and so far, Devon is checking all the right boxes.”
“I can only imagine.” He laughed. “I don’t think I have to worry about it for a few years.”
“No, I guess you don’t. But, uh, when you get there—buckle up. That’s a hell of a ride when your kid starts dating.”
He shuddered. “I don’t even want to think about it. I think I’m still traumatized from realizing my boy is old enough to be in kindergarten.”
“Yeah. Just like my granddaughter. So, tell me about it.”
He chuckled, drawing me in closer. “I haven’t dated many guys who can commiserate about parenthood.”
“That makes two of us. This is, um, my first time dating someone who’s already a parent too.”
“First time for both of us, then.” He tipped up my chin, and when our eyes met, he smiled. After a second, I did too. Then he gathered me in his arms and pressed a soft kiss to my lips.
I had a feeling he’d only meant for something short and sweet, a show of gentle affection and nothing more, but he made no move to pull away, and neither did I. For a moment, it was only our lips. Before long, though, he tilted his head and parted his lips, so I did the same and was rewarded with the tip of his tongue. Holding him tighter, I let him deepen the kiss.
We separated at one point and met each other’s eyes. My pulse was thumping, my knees shaking, and what a relief when he drew me back in and picked up right where we’d left off.
“Didn’t think you’d be in the mood for anything,” he whispered breathlessly against my lips.
“Didn’t either.” I slid my hands over his ass and pulled him to me. “But you’re here, so…of course I’m in the mood.”
Sailo laughed softly and kissed me again. “In that case”—he pressed his hardening dick against mine—“maybe we should go someplace more comfortable.”
“Good idea.”
I lost track of time and hands, of what we were doing besides kissing and holding on to each other. One minute we were making out in the doorway. The next, we were naked beneath my sheets.
I was horny as hell, but not in the slightest hurry. I was never in a hurry with him. How could I be? I ran my hands over his ass, his sides, his thighs, my fingertips tracing the raised lines of his distinctive tattoo, every bump and contour of which seemed to spell out his name in my mind. Somewhere along the line, the novelty of having sex with a man had diminished, replaced by the thrill of having sex with this man. With Sailo.
“Why would I be in any rush?” I remembered him saying that first night. “I’ve already got what I want.”
“Do you?”
“Yeah. You in my bed.”
Likewise, Sailo. My God.
Oh, but even if I wasn’t in a rush, that wasn’t to say our kissing and touching lacked any sense of urgency. I was hungry for him, desperate for him, and having his naked body and rock-hard erection against me aroused me to the point I wanted to beg him for release, except that would mean I’d have to stop kissing him.
He stopped kissing me, though, and pushed himself up. “I didn’t think you’d be in the mood tonight,” he panted, “but I am really glad you are.” He pressed his dick against me for emphasis. “Because I really want to fuck you.”
I licked my lips. “Then why aren’t you?”
His eyebrows flicked up. For a split second, I thought that might’ve come out as too demanding or too needy or…something, but he grinned and leaned down to brush his lips across mine.
“Turn around,” he ordered as he lifted up again and reached for the nightstand. “I gotta fuck you before I go crazy.”
Before you go crazy?
Didn’t matter who was going crazy first. He was putting on a condom, and I was getting on my hands and knees as ordered, and now he was going for the lube…
I gripped the sheets, digging my fingers into the mattress and my teeth into my bottom lip. Hurry up. Please. God, I want you.
Finally, he knelt behind me. The lube bottle clicked, and the cool, slippery contact of his fingers made me grind my teeth with frustration.
C’mon…
He didn’t waste much time, thank fuck. I was used to bottoming now, so he didn’t have to do near as much prep anymore. Without the nerves, without anticipating pain, I relaxed much more easily. All he had to do with his fingers was put on a little bit of lube, just a few gentle strokes to make sure there wasn’t enough friction to be unpleasant, and then he started pressing his cock in, and I…
Sweet Jesus.
I was in heaven.
His thick cock, slippery with exactly the right amount of lube, slid in and out, turning my vision white and electrifying every nerve ending in my body. Times like this, I didn’t care if he never let me top him again as long as he kept topping me.
With his body weight, he guided me all the way down to the mattress. Yes. Oh yes. This was rapidly becoming one of my favorite things, when he pinned me down so I couldn’t move, not with his body molded to mine, but he didn’t have that problem. He rode me with slow, gentle strokes, holding me close and kissing the side of my neck as he moved inside me.
I was pressed too hard into the mattress to stroke my cock with my hand, but this—rubbing against the sheet with every motion of his hips—was almost better than what I could do for myself anyway. Gripping the headboard, squeezing my eyes shut, I just lay there, and he drove himself into me again and again and again, and I could do nothing but enjoy the ride and building orgasm.
“Gonna come,” I breathed.
“I know.” He thrust just a little bit harder. “I can…feel it.”
I suddenly remembered the way he’d felt when our roles had been reversed, and he’d clenched around my cock just before his climax, and that was all it took.
“Oh God!”
He cried out too, and he fell apart, and I fell apart, and his rhythm fell apart. He fucked me painfully hard now, driving my orgasm on and on and on until I was pretty sure I blacked out for a few seconds.
As he shuddered to a stop, panting against my shoulder, my vision started clearing. With a shaking hand, I wiped my eyes. Jesus. He’d made me come so hard, I’d teared up. As the spinning room slowed around me, I was actually a little surprised he hadn’t made me break down sobbing—it was just so damned intense, so amazing, I was that overwhelmed.
“Fuck,” he breathed against my neck, pausing to press a soft kiss below my ear. “I didn’t think I could come that hard.”
“Makes two of us.” I was amazed I could form words. Turning my head toward him, I added, “Funny what happens when you started fucking me.”
He laughed, the rush of cooler breath giving me goose bumps, and he kissed me once more. Then he withdrew carefully. As he got up to get rid of the condom, I rolled onto my back.
God. This man. The sex we had. I closed my eyes and grinned like a fool. If this didn’t make up for some of the recent bullshit in my life, I didn’t know what did.
As his soft footsteps came back from the bathroom, I turned my head and smiled up at him. He returned it, settling into bed beside me, and without a word, we wrapped our arms around each other. Like we often did, we lay there for a while, just kissing lazily and enjoying the delicious afterglow. No wonder I was hooked on him—I’d forgotten what it was like to be affectionate and cuddly after sex.
Eventually, we rested our heads on the pillows and gazed at each other.
“So, you feel better about things?” he asked. “After this evening?”
“Definitely.” I smoothed his hair. “About everything. My son. Getting over the divorce.” I smiled. “You.”
He lifted himself up on his arm. “Me?”
“Yeah.” I let my fingers drift down the side of his face and neck. “I just…I don’t know. Feel like I have a better handle on things these days. My relationships with my kids. Who I am. And, yeah, what we’re doing.”
His Adam’s apple bobbed, but his expression registered nothing. “What exactly are we doing?”
I thought about it for a moment, then shook my head. “Hell, maybe I don’t really know. I guess I just feel less like I’m flailing my way through this than I did in the beginning.”
He pursed his lips and shrugged. “Fair enough. It is still a rebound, though. And something completely new for you.”
“I know.” I traced his jaw with my thumb. “But I don’t think any of that is the kiss of death. Some things just…work.”
His eyebrows rose slightly. Some unspoken thought creased his forehead and tightened his features.
“What?” I asked.
He took a breath. Hesitated. Then clasped my hand gently and kissed my palm. “You’re right. Some things do work.”
“That first night I came to Wilde’s,” I whispered, lacing our fingers together, “I just wanted to see if I really was into men. I didn’t expect…this.”
Something flickered across his expression, but it was gone so fast I might’ve imagined it. He gently freed his hand and rested it on the side of my neck. “I keep wondering, though—what is this?”
“Like I said, I don’t know.” I swallowed. “I don’t feel like I’m flailing anymore, but everything we’ve been doing since day one has been pretty new to me.”
Sailo’s lips pressed together, and he nodded. “I guess it would be. Since you hadn’t dated anyone in so long. And you’d never dated a man.”
“Yeah. But it’s…” I held his gaze as I searched for the words. How did I explain that this wasn’t just different from what I expected, it was more. So, so much more. It had quite by accident brought me closer to my kids. It had given me hope that divorcing this late in the game didn’t mean I was out of luck. But there were all these feelings too. The way my heart fluttered whenever I was around him. How his text tone was enough to shake me out of a bad mood, and how much I just plain looked forward to being in the same room with him.
I swept my tongue across my lips and whispered, “It’s just better than anything I expected when I walked in that night.”
He smiled, a hint of shyness in his expression. “Glad it hasn’t been a disappointment.”
“Not at all.” I ran my fingers through his hair. “When I went to Wilde’s that first night, I had no idea what I was getting myself into.”
He laughed softly. “Guess you picked the right door to lean against.”
“Guess so.”
We held each other’s gazes for a moment. Then he said, “We should get some sleep. You have to be up early.”
“Unfortunately.” I cupped his face and pressed my lips to his. “Good night.”
“Good night.”
Sailo rested his head on my shoulder as he often did when we first went to bed. He was out cold in no time, and I wasn’t far behind. As fatigue kicked in and I started fading, I kissed the top of his head, lay back on the pillow, and closed my eyes.
I knew eventually we’d separate and wind up on opposite sides of the mattress, but for now, he was snoozing peacefully with his head on my chest, and I was in no hurry to put a stop to that.
I loved this. I loved everything about it.
And couldn’t wait to see where things went from here.