Chapter Nine
I hung around the club for his show, keeping myself well-caffeinated so I wouldn’t nod off at the bar. By the time he was wrapping up, I was starting to second-guess this whole plan. I’d been awake since four, and now it was nearly midnight. I was going to stay up how much later?
But then the show was over, and we drove to his place, and suddenly we were in his apartment, kissing and pawing at each other’s clothes, and oh yes, I was awake now.
Somewhere between his front door and the bedroom, he broke the kiss and whispered, “I could use a shower before we do this. Want to join me?”
The mere thought of him, naked and soaking wet, made the answer a no-brainer. “Lead the way.”
In the bathroom, we stripped off our clothes and stepped into the tub. It was fairly spacious for an apartment shower, which was good, since neither of us was exactly small.
While we soaped and rinsed ourselves, I couldn’t stop staring at him. My mental image of him didn’t hold a candle to reality. Suds slid over slick skin, pausing here and there on his tattoos, which seemed even blacker now that they were wet. Black hair plastered to his forehead. A few drops clinging to his goatee. And I’d ever questioned being attracted to men?
Our eyes met. As hot water rushed over both of us, we exchanged grins and pulled each other into a long, lazy kiss. Then he broke away, turned me around, and wrapped his arms around me. As he kissed his way up and down my neck, he slid his hands all over my chest and abs. I covered his hands with mine, closed my eyes, and tilted my head to expose more skin.
“Do you know how hard it was to concentrate on my show tonight?” His voice was soft, his breath hot in my ear. “I’ve been thinking about you since the other night, but after you said you wanted me to fuck you…” He trailed off into a moan, pressing his thick erection against my ass. “And after you gave me that fucking awesome blowjob.”
I slipped my fingers between his on my chest and leaned back against him. “And here I thought you’d think I was overstepping some bounds by showing up.”
“No, no, no.” He kissed beneath my ear. “Showing up at my apartment, maybe. But there’s a reason I told you I was at Wilde’s.” His lips curved into a grin against my hairline. “I was hoping you would.”
“Glad I didn’t disappoint.”
“Not at all.” He nipped my earlobe. “What do you say we take this to bed?”
I turned off the water. “Thought you’d never ask.”
He laughed as I turned to face him. “Just didn’t want to rush.”
“But why wait?”
“Good point.”
We dried off and moved into his bedroom. Those nerves started coming back to life, but I was too hard, too dizzy with pure arousal, to give them much attention.
Sinking back into his bed was like letting go of tension that had been gripping my shoulders for too many days—we were back, returning to the place where we’d fooled around the first time. Second time, if the VIP lounge counted. The first time I’d ever been literally in bed with a man, though.
Though it was already late as hell, and I was too turned on to think straight, we weren’t in any rush. We took our sweet time, kissing and running our hands all over each other as if we’d never touched before. I traced his tattoos as if I could possibly memorize every loop and line, and he kissed his way up and down my neck like it was the most fascinating thing in the world. We lay on our sides, and then he was on top, and then I was. Every minute we spent doing this was one less minute of sleep I’d have before work tomorrow, and around the time he rolled me onto my back and started stroking my very hard cock, I decided for the hundredth time that this would be well worth any lost sleep.
He pushed himself up on his arms and gazed down at me. “If you’re still onboard, I can get a condom.”
Oh, hello, nerves.
I gulped, then nodded. “Yeah. Definitely.”
“You sure?”
Licking my lips, I nodded again. “Nervous, but sure.”
He held my gaze as if searching for uncertainty, then leaned down and kissed me again. Lifting himself up, he said, “Get on your hands and knees. You’ll be okay holding yourself up for a while, right?”
“I think so? I guess we’ll find out.”
His lips quirked slightly. Then he shrugged. “Just say so if you start getting uncomfortable. That goes for everything. If it hurts, or you just don’t like it…”
I nodded. “Got it.”
One last kiss, and we shifted around. My heart skipped as he opened the nightstand drawer. Condoms, lube. Oh fuck.
But I turned onto my hands and knees as he’d requested. He took the condom and lube, and moved them beyond the edges of my peripheral vision. Their presence both excited me and unnerved me—this was it. And he was kneeling behind me, now. A hand on my back. A very erect cock that I couldn’t see anymore but was very, very aware of.
Sailo leaned over me, wrapping an arm around my waist. He kissed the back of my neck. “You okay?”
“You haven’t done anything yet.”
“No.” He kissed the same spot. “But nerves are funny things.”
“They are. I’m okay, though.”
“Good.” He trailed soft kisses down my spine. Every light, warm touch made my skin prickle. No one had ever kissed me in those sensitive, strangely erotic places, but he took his time, kissing along my vertebrae as if they were the most erogenous zones imaginable. Beneath his lips and the soft brush of his goatee, they were pretty erogenous. My God.
I closed my eyes, letting my head fall forward as another shiver ran through me. I thought I knew all the places I was sensitive. Evidently not.
At the small of my back, he paused. Then his lips lifted away from my skin, and I held my breath, not sure what was coming next.
He gently kneaded my ass cheeks, and as he parted them, I bit my lip. Now it starts. Fingers first, right?
No.
Not fingers.
Tongue.
My eyes flew open. The air in my lungs didn’t move, and neither did I.
Oh…my God.
His tongue felt…unreal. He made slow circles, probing gently and redefining the word erogenous. Whoa.
He shifted a little, and his hand materialized on my balls. He teased them gently, cupping them as he kept making those mind-blowing little circles with his tongue.
“Fuck,” I breathed.
“Feel good?” he asked.
“Very.” Now get your tongue back to—
Yes. Like that. Jesus.
I wasn’t even sure exactly what he was doing, only that it took my breath away. It was an alien feeling in an area that, up until very recently, had never been stimulated sexually, and I had to grip the sheets just to remind myself not to collapse flat on my face. Holy hell.
Yeah, those little circles feel…no, don’t stop. Don’t—okay, fluttering like that is pretty good too.
Wow, that is really good. Keep…keep doing…
What the hell are you even doing now? Don’t care. Just don’t stop.
I was distantly aware of some fatigue in my shoulders from holding myself up like this for so long, but whatever. They could be sore as hell tomorrow for all I cared. This was well worth some muscle pain later.
Sailo stopped, and I opened my eyes.
Wait, why’d you stop?
He shifted around behind me—sitting up, I guessed—and his hand drifted up my side. “You still okay in this position?”
My shoulders were definitely getting tired, but I nodded. “Yeah. I’m good.”
“Good.” The lube bottle clicked.
Oh fuck. That’s right. He was warming me up for more.
Am I ready for this?
I closed my eyes again, breathing slowly and reminding myself over and over that I wasn’t scared. A toy was different—I was in control, and if it hurt, I could stop—but if I really thought he wouldn’t stop, I wouldn’t be doing this. Or, more to the point, letting him do this.
I want this, I reminded myself. Badly.
He cupped my hip with one hand. “It’s just gonna be my finger for now, okay?”
I nodded.
“Might be a little cool.” His fingertip met my ass, and I jumped, but it was more nerves and anticipation than the coolness. “Relax,” he whispered. His finger didn’t move. He just kept it there, as a constant presence while I took a few long, slow breaths.
I’m okay. We can stop any time. And I don’t want to stop.
“We’ll take this as slow as you need.” His voice was low and soothing, and I concentrated on that while he pressed in gently. “No hurry at all. I want to make sure you’re completely relaxed first.”
His finger slid inside, and my breath caught. This was…a lot more intense than when I’d done it on my own. His fingers weren’t any thicker than mine, but they sure felt like it. Or maybe I was just tenser now?
“Relax,” he whispered. “We’ve got plenty of time, and I promise I won’t give you more until you’re ready for it.”
Closing my eyes, I exhaled slowly and willed myself to relax. He withdrew his finger. Slid it back in. Withdrew it. Just as it was when I’d done this myself, it felt strange and invasive. Uncomfortable, but not painful. And that had eventually turned into something amazing, so I didn’t tell him to stop. I let him slowly, gently fuck me with his finger.
Sure enough, as I got used to it, the discomfort shifted to intense but very, very good. He kept going for a moment longer, then added a second—fourth?—finger, and my vision blurred. Was that his whole hand?
No. No, just two fingers. Have to get used to it all over again. I concentrated on breathing, on relaxing, and as expected, every slow, slick stroke of his fingers was better than the last.
The burn intensified. He must’ve been separating his fingers to stretch me. Wasn’t that what one of the books recommended? Maybe. Guess so. It felt…it felt fucking awesome, though.
“You ready for more?” He sounded as breathless as I felt.
Am I? I licked my lips, letting him slide his fingers in and out a few more times. “Y-yeah. I’m ready.”
“Okay.” He withdrew his fingers. “I’m just going to put on a condom. Give me a sec.”
I nodded but didn’t speak.
Behind me, the wrapper tore. My heart thumped against my ribs as I looked over my shoulder to watch him roll on the condom. Our eyes met, and we both grinned.
Once the condom was in place and he’d poured on some lube, he positioned himself behind me again, and I exhaled, reminding myself to relax, relax, relax.
“There’s plenty of lube,” he said softly. “But I can always add more. Just say the word.” He pressed the head of his cock against me. “Anything to make you comfortable.”
I nodded, but couldn’t speak. Not with him slowly, slowly breaching me with his thick cock. This wasn’t that much more than his fingers, but somehow it seemed ten times thicker. Maybe because I was so hyperaware of what it was—that he was…he was fucking me. His cock was inside me. He—
Sailo pushed deeper, and a twinge made my breath catch.
Christ, that was…
He paused. I found my breath again, and the faint pain dulled.
Another stroke, and suddenly it was intense enough to blur my vision.
He stopped again, and ran a hand up my back. “Am I hurting you?”
Kind of.
“And if you don’t love it the first time,” Ethan’s advice echoed in my head, “don’t give up on it. It can be a bit of…an acquired taste.”
“No.” I licked my lips, trying not to wince. “You’re…you’re good.” Sort of. Not really. The toy had nothing on the real thing. With a piece of plastic, there was no warm skin against mine. No soft breath rushing past my neck.
The toy also hadn’t been this painful. Maybe I should’ve picked a thicker one. Or maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. Ethan had warned me that it wasn’t everyone’s thing.
I was about to say something, to suggest we try this again another time, but suddenly the unpleasant burn was gone. Wait, no. It was still there, but it felt…it felt great. Intense. Mind-blowing. I exhaled, and my muscles—especially the ring of muscles around his thick cock—relaxed a bit more, and that intensity was quickly turning into something very different from before. It was still intense, but it was…
Oh my God. This was what I’d experienced on my own. No, better. As he slid in and out of me, every stroke was more amazing than the last, until I was dizzy from forgetting to breath. I rocked back against him, seeking more. How did I make it through forty-seven years without ever knowing how good it felt to be fucked by another man? I didn’t care if he ever let me top him as long as he never stopped fucking me just like this.
I wasn’t hard, but I was turned on. Not something I’d experienced before. Not something I could really explain. Hadn’t the books said something about that? That not all guys…
Fuck, what did I care? God, he felt good. I didn’t give a damn if I was hard or if I came. He was hard, and he was fucking me, and…Jesus…
Sailo leaned down a little, wrapping his arm around my waist and changing the angle of his cock just enough to hit that sensitive spot inside.
“Oh fuck,” I moaned.
“You all right?” he asked, panting in my ear.
“Y-yeah. It’s good. Real good.”
He kissed the side of my neck. “You want it harder?”
I had no idea how that would feel. I’d done it pretty hard on my own, but no way in hell had I been able to fuck myself as hard with the toy as he undoubtedly could now.
“Yeah.” I moistened my lips, which had suddenly gone dry. “Harder.”
He shifted behind me, sitting up again, and grasped my hips firmly. Then he withdrew almost all the way and—
“Holy fuck!” I dropped down onto my forearms.
“You all—”
“Don’t stop.” I sounded like I was sobbing. Maybe I was? Didn’t care. Just wanted him to keep doing that, keep driving himself into me. Did it hurt? I didn’t even know anymore. I couldn’t name or define a single one of the sensations rushing through me and electrifying my nerve endings. All I could do was beg him not to stop. Over and over, slurring so badly he probably couldn’t understand me anymore, I begged him to keep going.
Gripping the edge of the mattress, I squeezed my eyes shut and buried my face in the pillow. I wasn’t going to come this time, and I didn’t care. He felt so good. So, so good. Orgasms were…whatever. He was fucking me into a whole different kind of oblivion, and coming just didn’t matter.
“You feel so good.” He dug his fingers into my hips. “You’re gonna…make me come…again…”
I pressed the heels of my hands into the mattress and rocked back and forth as much as I could with his tight grip. It must’ve been enough, though—he released the most delicious, throaty moan, and his thrusts took on a more earnest cadence, his hips slamming against my ass hard enough to knock the breath out of me.
Then he forced himself as deep as I could take him, and shuddered. My head spun and my heart pounded as if I were the one coming. How had I gone my whole life without experiencing this?
With a long sigh, he relaxed his grip on me. He withdrew, and as he stepped away to get rid of the condom, I somehow managed to turn over and flop onto my back.
Holy. Fuck.
Sex had never left me feeling like this. Exhausted. Wrung out. So far beyond bliss, I couldn’t put it into words.
Yep. Definitely gay. Or at least bi. Something. Not straight.
A moment later, Sailo returned from the bathroom and lay beside me. “So…you all right?”
“All right?” I laughed, pulling him into an embrace. “I feel amazing.”
“Good.” He wrapped his arms around me and pressed his lips to mine.
Then his fingers started down the middle of my chest, tracing a very deliberate downward path. My abs contracted beneath his featherlight touch. My cock was already hardening, and as he closed his hand around it—oh God. I deepened the kiss. Rocked my hips in time with his strokes. Fuck, I was already lightheaded from the way he’d fucked me, and now he was going to turn me inside out and…
Yes, please. Whatever you’re going to do, please do. Just don’t let me stop feeling like this.
He pushed me onto my back. His kisses moved from my lips to my jaw. My neck. My chest.
God, yes…
If his hand hadn’t already coaxed my erection to life, the brush of his lips and goatee on my stomach would’ve done the job. It was just like when he’d kissed along my spine earlier, and that memory made me gasp and shiver. What he’d done with his tongue, how he’d turned me on and relaxed me all at the same time—everything he did was magic.
Eyes closed, I mouthed silent curses as he traced my hipbone with light little kisses. Then his lips were gone. No longer touching me. And I knew—somehow, without even looking—I knew what was coming next.
Oh Jesus. I would sell my soul to be half as good at sucking cock as you are. How do you even do that with your tongue?
He wasn’t done, though. He pushed my legs apart, and as his lips and tongue teased my cock, his hand drifted up my inner thigh.
Is he…No, he isn’t really going to…
Yeah. He was. Gently, he slipped his fingers into me.
My eyes flew open. My lips parted, but I didn’t make a sound. Had I meant to? No idea. All I knew was…
Oh. Wow.
I reached back and gripped the pillow, desperate for something to hold on to, and resisted the urge to thrust into his mouth. His head bobbed over my cock. His fingers slid in and out of my ass. Then they…moved. Bent? Something. Somehow, they were different now, and they pressed against the spot inside, and suddenly my eyes were rolling back and my spine was off the bed and I heard myself curse as I came in his mouth.
Everything went white for a moment. I dropped back onto the bed, and slowly, as Sailo lifted his head and withdrew his fingers, my vision came back into focus.
“Jesus.” I wiped a hand over my face. “That was…unreal.”
He came up beside me and rested on his elbow. “So it lived up to your expectations?”
“Lived up to?” I laughed, sounding and feeling a little drunk. “More like blew past them.”
He chuckled and kissed the top of my head. “Good. As it should be.” He paused. “I mean it—I’m glad you came back. I’ve been thinking about the other night. A lot.” He grinned, though there was a touch of shyness in his eyes. “I was hoping for the chance to fuck you.”
“Didn’t disappoint, I hope?”
“Not even close.” He pressed a soft kiss to my lips before settling back onto the pillow. “It’s been a long time since I’ve gotten to take my time like that.”
“Really?”
He nodded. “That’s half the fun of someone’s first time—going extra slow and enjoying every minute of it.”
Well, I didn’t enjoy every minute of it, but damn, once we’d crossed that line from ouch to oh yes, it had been well worth it.
He sat up a bit and stretched. “I don’t know about you, but I could go for another shower.”
“Me too.”
We started to sit up, but the room listed slightly, so I sank back onto the pillow.
“Okay, maybe in a minute.”
He lay beside me. “You okay?”
“Yeah, yeah. A little dizzy.”
“That’s okay.” He guided me back down and kissed my cheek. “We can lay here for a minute. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Good.” I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him down into a kiss. “Because I like you right where you are.”
“Yeah? Me too.”