CHAPTER 20
BRIAN
Falling asleep with Amanda in my arms was pure bliss. I reveled in the feeling of her nuzzling into me, and the way her leg mindlessly slipped between mine. I enjoyed having her next to me in my bed, keeping my body warm during the cold night on top of the mountain. But when I opened my eyes to take in the scent of her hair, she wasn’t there.
“Amanda?”
I opened my eyes and looked around before I sat up in bed. Her side of the bed was cold, and it caused me to jump up.
“Amanda. Where are you?”
I slipped on a pair of pants and padded out into the kitchen. The lights in the house were out, and Lanie was still sound asleep. I saw a dress hanging up in the living room that I didn’t recognize, but there was no Amanda to be found.
Where the fuck was she?
I started to panic. What if she’d changed her mind during the night and left? What if she had decided to go back to her asshole ex? What if the fire had scared her and she thought I couldn’t protect her from Lanie’s crazy father? What if she just didn’t want me? The questions ran through my head, threatening to make me crazy as I searched the house for her.
“Amanda!”
“Ssshhh. You’re going to wake Lanie.”
I looked down the hallway and saw Amanda coming through the front door. She was bundled up in a scarf and a coat, and she was cradling something in her arms. I rushed toward her and stopped just shy of the kitchen, where she dumped the cans of cinnamon rolls onto the counter.
“It’s freezing out there,” she said. “You should put on a shirt.”
She hung up her coat and scarf on the coat rack by the door. Shivering, she walked over to the cans and began rummaging around for a pan. I studied her as she prepared to make breakfast, trying to calm myself down now that she was here in front of me. She hadn’t left me. She hadn’t run away. She was here, right where she belonged.
I let out a long, relieved breath.
“Brian, are you okay?”
My eyes connected with hers as she turned toward me, her body leaning against the counter.
“Oh my gosh. I didn’t worry you, did I? You were sleeping hard when I woke up. So I figured I could go get some stuff from my place to cook breakfast. You didn’t have much here besides eggs.”
“I’m just glad you’re here,” I said.
She walked over to me and wrapped her arms around my neck. I buried my face in her hair, taking in her scent. I could smell the dust from her cabin on her, and I made a mental note to ask about the condition of it later. But for right now, I would settle for helping her make the cinnamon rolls.
We danced around one another in the kitchen like we’d been doing it for years. I was cooking up some eggs while she cracked open the cinnamon rolls. Then I cooked up the last of the bacon. I needed to make another grocery run in town, but that would have to wait for a different day.
“Brian, could I ask you a question?”
Her voice seemed smaller. Like she wasn’t quite sure she should ask what she was about to.
“Of course you can. We’re about to get married. You can ask me anything,” I said, grinning.
“Could you tell me about your ex?”
I felt my body tense up at her question before I drew in a deep breath.
“I figured that was coming. Especially after last night,” I said.
“If you don’t want to talk about it, you don’t have to.”
“No, no. It’s only fair,” I said.
I moved the bacon off the burner and started draining the grease into a can.
“She really left a dent in me,” I said.
“What happened between you two?”
“A lot of things. What prompted the divorce was her cheating,” I said. “I thought it was just the guy I caught her with, but it came to light eventually that there had been more.”
“How many more?” she asked.
“Enough to span the entirety of our marriage.”
I felt her gaze fall onto me as I spooned eggs onto plates for all of us to eat.
“That’s messed up,” she said.
“It was. I met her when I was in foster care. My sister and I bounced around from home to home, until we came to the end of the line; the last place that would take us in. She was there, too. It’s how we met.”
Amanda put the cinnamon rolls in the oven, then made her way toward me.
“Foster care was hell. Families don’t give a shit about those kids. But Rachel? She cared. We were inseparable. She loved me when no one else would. At least, I thought she did.”
“Brian, I’m so sorry,” Amanda said.
“I caught her cheating on our anniversary, of all days. I told her right then and there I wanted a divorce. She raked me over the coals in court. She was the one that cheated, and broke our vows, but she got to walk away with almost half of everything. She drained me. Bank, brain, heart. And it sent me here.”
I felt Amanda’s arms wrap around my waist as I turned to her. I pulled her into me, her head settling into the divot of my chest. I closed my eyes and sighed, feeling her lips press a chaste kiss onto my bare skin. Her warmth was encompassing, comforting, especially when I talked about things like this.
“I have trust issues,” I said.
“I’d be surprised if you didn’t,” Amanda said. “Are we still heading to the courthouse today? To get things settled on that end?”
“Is that what the dress hanging up in the living room is for?” I asked.
“Yes. It’s the only one I have right now, but it has matching shoes.”
“It’s a beautiful dress.”
“Thanks,” she said.
“Unfortunately, I woke up to a message from Tanya. One of her boys is sick, and she’s at the doctor with him. She won’t be able to come back in until he’s taken care of, which might push things into next week.”
“That’s fine. As long as that doesn’t jeopardize anything with Lanie.”
“It shouldn’t. We don’t have to have the paperwork ready until the first date of court, and my lawyer doesn’t have a date for me yet. As far as I’m concerned, we’re still doing well.”
“Sounds good to me,” Amanda said.
“Morning.”
Lanie’s voice caused Amanda to jump back.
“Morning, sweetie,” I said. “You ready for some breakfast?”
“Milk?” Lanie asked.
“Coming right up.”
The three of us sat down to eat breakfast while talking about what we would do for the day. Lanie wanted to get outside since she’d been cooped up because of the cold, but Amanda tried to sway her away from it. Lanie was insistent. Amanda tried to bargain, and in the end, Amanda caved to Lanie’s wishes. I grinned as the two of them went back and forth with each other, studying them as I ate my eggs.
They fit each other well. If no one knew any better, I’d almost think Amanda was her mother.
“Oh. Hold on.”
I watched Amanda pull her phone from her pocket before she left the kitchen table. She took the call down the hallway as Lanie craned her neck back, and I trained my ears onto the conversation. She wasn’t doing much of the talking, but the talking she was doing sounded upbeat. She came back a few minutes later with a massive smile on her face, and I readied myself for whatever good news she had to share.
This house needed some good news after all the shit it had seen.
“You’ll never guess who that was,” Amanda said.
“I won’t. So you should probably tell me,” I said.
“That was the owner of Gleeson’s Galleries here in Asheville.”
“I like where this is going,” I said.
“I have a meeting tomorrow morning to discuss them hanging my artwork!”
I got up from the table and wrapped Amanda in my arms. She looked so happy, and my chest swelled with pride. I spun her around as she clung to me while Lanie clapped her hands in her seat. Everything inside of me wanted to kiss her, but I held myself back since Lanie was at the table with us.
Neither of us was still sure of how to go about any of this with my niece, so we were keeping it out of her sight for now.
“That’s incredible, Amanda. I’m so happy for you.”
Then, my phone rang. And when my phone rang nowadays, it was never good.
“Fuck. Hold on,” I said.
“Fuck!” Lanie exclaimed.
“Oh, no no no, honey. We don’t say that word,” Amanda said.
“But Uncle Bwian said it.”
“And that’s why Uncle Brian’s about to go into timeout. Because that’s what happens when we say words like that.”
Amanda nodded her head toward the hallway, and I was in awe of her. Lanie’s eyes were welling with tears as she apologized, and in the same breath, Amanda had given me an out to take this phone call. She was easily slipping into this role, and I had to take a moment and remind myself that it wasn’t real.
“Please tell me you have good news,” I said.
“Yes and no. The first court date has been set for Tuesday,” my lawyer said.
“Shit.”
“Please tell me the two of you have tied the knot. I need that paperwork in the system by Monday at the very latest,” he said.
“We’ve got this. Don’t worry. It’ll be in the system by Monday, I promise,” I said.
“Good. I’ll need some fun pictures of it, too. Anything to make it look authentic. The less it looks like an arrangement just to sway the judge, the better. He needs to see a happy, loving home, not two strangers married for the sake of court.” .”
“Yes. You’ll have them,” I said.
“I’ll call you Monday just to remind you, but it’s Tuesday at ten in the morning.”
“I won’t forget. I promise,” I said.
“You better not. Have you heard from your P.I.?”
“Nope. Have you?”
“Not since we originally talked a couple days ago. If you hear from him, call me,” he said.
“Will do.”
I turned around and saw Amanda standing at the end of the hallway. Lanie was finishing up her breakfast and chugging her milk, making a massive mess for us to clean up. Amanda slowly walked toward me as I tossed my phone into my room, letting it tumble off of the bed and onto the floor.
“The court date’s Tuesday morning,” I said. “We have to do this before then.”
“We’ll get it done,” she said. “I promise.”
“The paperwork has to be in the system by Monday. Do you think we should tell Lanie what’s going on and take her with us?”
“We’ve got this. Don’t stress yourself out. Everything is going to be okay.”
Her hands were warm against my chest, and I could feel myself relaxing underneath her touch. Her lips brushed my skin, sending electricity surging through my chest. I kept my eyes on Lanie, making sure she wouldn’t turn around and catch us.
And when I knew Lanie was secured, I dipped down and caught Amanda’s lips within mine.
“Stay with us today?” I asked.
“Were you planning on kicking me out?” she asked, grinning.
“Nope.”
“Good. Because I wasn’t planning on leaving,” she said.
I pulled her into me and held her close as I tried to settle my mind. Everything felt like it was about to spiral out of control again. So many balls were up in the air, and I only had so many hands. Even with Amanda helping me volley some of this stuff, it was still getting to be too much.
But feeling this beautiful woman against my skin helped to calm me. And I wasn’t sure what I was going to do without her once this was all over.
“I’m proud of you. With the art gallery,” I said. “I didn’t even know you were submitting your artwork to places in town.”
“I do have a life when I’m not here, you know,” she said.
“I just figured you would’ve mentioned it, is all.”
“Do you want me to tell you about that kind of stuff?”
She tilted her gaze up to mine, and it prompted me to cup her cheek.
“Yes,” I said.
“Then, I will,” she said, smiling.
“More?” Lanie asked.
Amanda jumped away from me as her eyes widened. She whipped her head around and looked at Lanie, sighing with relief when she saw the little girl was still turned around. I hated that we were hiding this from Lanie I wanted Lanie to see two people enjoying each other. I wanted her to see that she could have this type of respect from another person.
It angered me that we had to hide this. To protect her from something that felt so real and innocent.
But it wasn’t real. It wasn’t innocent. And as Amanda walked down the hallway to tend to Lanie, my stomach settled down into my toes.
I was in deep trouble.