CHAPTER 9
ROMEO

I’d tossed and turned every night since the shootout with the gun runners. The police were nowhere near our tail, but what made matters worse were the local gangs they were roughing up. Innocent men taking the fall for what I’d done. I was doing everything in my power to avoid anything remotely close to that. I was trying to make the family business and the blood that came with it a thing of the past.

And I had three men slaughtered in cold blood.believing it was a gang related shooting. That worked in our favor and also helped clean the city up of some of its festering gang problem. I didn’t feel too bad about those thugs being rounded up for my crime. They were hardly innocent.

But I still couldn’t get the looks of the men’s faces when I’d fired my gun out of my mind. The thought of it made my stomach roll with self-loathing. I kept telling myself it had been a necessary measure in order to ensure we could go legit, but it still didn’t sit right with me. Especially now that Julia was back in my life.

I stood with my hand pressed against the glass window of my bedroom. I had many people who applauded me for how I handled things, and then I had a few people that were irate at destroying a decades-old connection that took my father years to cultivate. I kept trying to tell them that the connection wasn’t necessary any longer. Not with what we were doing.

Then I had to command they stand down when they got angry and put their fists in my face.

“Romeo?”

Antony knocked on my door as his voice drifted through the painted wood.

“What?” I asked.

“Got breakfast.”

“Not hungry.”

“Tough shit. Open the door, or I’ll take it off its hinges,” he said.

I rolled my eyes and went to the door, then opened it up before I took up my place next to the window. I heard the door shut behind me before he set something on my mattress. The smell of toast and jam filled the room, but it was the scent of coffee that started my glands salivating.

I turned to look at my brother and saw him perched in a chair in the corner.

“Wanna talk?” Antony asked.

“No. Now get out.”

“Testy, testy. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” I said. “Just tired.”

“I’ve seen you when you’re tired. This isn’t it.”

I simply shrugged.

“You haven’t been eating much lately.”

“Mom tell you that?” I asked.

“No. I noticed it. Well before she did. And I know when you don’t eat, something’s very wrong.”

“And I told you. I’m tired.”

“No, you’re not. Look, I know people around here think I’m some nighttime grunt with no head on my shoulders, but I see and hear more than people think. That’s the thing about men like me who blend into the shadows because of people’s presumptions. No one holds their tongue when I’m around because they don’t think I’m listening.”

“Do you have a point, Antony?”

“This has to do with the shooting on the docks, doesn’t it?”

I felt my shoulders tense as my eyes closed. I whipped my head around to him and glared at him as a small grin crossed his cheeks. Someone was talking, and I didn't like it. I didn’t like the fact that people were already whispering about how I had put a bullet between the eyes of a man who wouldn’t stand down. The only two men that were there with me were my bodyguards, and I sure as hell hadn’t told anyone.

Someone was getting fired today.

“I want everyone to get along,” I said. “I want to make things legitimate with this family. Why don’t people get that?”

“Because most of them are still stuck in the world Dad created. If you want to do things a different way, you have to get rid of those who refuse to change. You need fresh blood who will not fight you at every turn while you try to take this family legit,” he said.

“Easier said that done,” I quipped.

“What happened, Romeo?”

“Bullshit. That’s what happened. I went there with a check for twenty thousand dollars to pay for their troubles and told them we didn’t want the guns. I told them the ‘deal’ they had with Dad wasn’t a paper contract, so I wasn’t bound to any deal they made with him because I didn't shake on it. I even tried to tell them that plenty of men in the city would pay twice what they offered us for the guns they docked on the harbor. And they wouldn’t listen. Do you know what they told me?”

“What?” he asked.

“They told me that I was going to pay them their money, take the guns, and then keep doing business with them.”

“They clearly didn’t know who they were talking to,” he said, chuckling.

“Yeah. They fucking held this family for ransom. Said they weren’t going to destroy a decades-old relationship that greased their palms simply because I didn’t have the balls my father did.”

“Holy shit, Romeo. They really didn’t give you a choice, did they?”

“The men wouldn’t budge, Antony. I don’t get it. Twice. They could’ve gotten twice the money in forty-eight hours. Maybe three days tops. Why hold that shit over my head?”

“To undermine your authority? To show they had dominance over you now that Dad’s dead? It could’ve been any number of things, but you know what the common thread is?”

“What?” I asked.

“They didn’t give you a choice.”

“There’s always a choice, Antony.”

“But not on your end, there wasn’t. How many guns were you staring down?”

“Three,” I said.

“And you weren’t the one calling the shots. They were. You gave them a choice. Multiple choices, from the sounds of it. And then they threaten this family and think they can strong arm you into keeping a deal that doesn’t benefit what you’re trying to do? They would’ve killed you on the spot, and you know that.”

“That doesn’t excuse what I did,” I said.

“It was your life or theirs. And if anyone else ended up in your situation, they would’ve done the same thing. It wasn’t a gun deal gone wrong, Romeo. This wasn’t some bullshit Dad pulled. You were fighting for your life. If you’re dead, you can’t clean up the family.”

“Antony. I—”

“Look, what happened was unfortunate. I get it. I know you wish it didn’t have to happen, especially given the fact that you can smooth talk your way out of just about anything. But you have to forgive yourself. You did what you had to do in a circumstance that was unwinnable. And now? You get to live another day to make this family something you can be proud to pass onto your children someday.”

I felt a grin tick my cheek as Antony pushed himself from the chair. If he only knew.

“You’re going to do this. I believe you will. But it isn’t going to be easy.”

“Thanks brother. You’ve actually made me feel a bit better about it all,” I said.

“Great, now I can piss you off again,” he said. “Julia coming back anytime soon?”

My smile fell from my face as I walked over to my bed.

“Oh, come on. I know Mom talked to you about her. Did she give you her blessing? Is that how you’re going to bring peace? By fucking the Bianchi girl?”

“Can it, Antony. You’re treading on thin ice,” I said.

“Oh shit. Have you already fucked her?”

“Get the fuck out,” I said.

I slammed the door in his face and gritted my teeth. That fucking asshole. He was so close to getting on my fucking good side. I stared at the breakfast cooling on my bed and was no longer hungry. All my mind could think about was Julia. And my son. And how I couldn't fucking see him because of the monster she thought me to be.

Because of the monster I was scared I was becoming.

I wasn’t willing to tell anyone yet that I had a son. That would only complicate matters further. I had to figure out how I was going to handle the situation myself. I needed to be diplomatic and filled with integrity. Otherwise I didn't stand a chance at ever seeing my kid.

And that shit wasn’t an option.

I knew Julia would put up a decent fight, so I had to prepare myself for anything and everything she threw my way. I reached for the breakfast and ate it, forcing my thoughts to stay at bay. I had a family and I couldn’t even reunite us. I couldn’t even be the father I’d always longed to be because of my fucking job. I swallowed down my coffee and shoved the tray off to the side, then I slipped my feet into some shoes and made my way downstairs.

I slipped out the side door before someone else caught me and left the house.