CHAPTER 29
AMANDA
“I gotta pee pee.”
I looked over at Lanie, her face covered in pizza sauce as she wiggled around in her chair.
“Come on. I’ll take you to the bathroom,” I said.
“Oh, perfect! This gives me a chance to tell you about the time Amanda got so drunk she passed out on the kitchen floor,” Sarah said to Brian as I stood.
“Don’t you dare. I’ll be right back,” I said as I reached for Lanie’s hand.
“No, really. It’s a good story. She got drunk in one outfit, and woke up in another sprawled out on the kitchen floor,” Sarah said.
“Shut up, Sarah!”
“Pee pee,” Lanie said.
I was worried about all the stories Sarah would try to cram in during the bathroom break. But I was shocked when Lanie announced she had to go to the bathroom. The three of us had been working with her on recognizing when she needed to pee before it was too late.
“Need help?” I asked.
“I can do it,” Lanie said.
I watched as she pulled down her pants and pull up and got up onto the toilet. I closed my eyes and turned my back to give her some privacy. She was humming and scooting around on the toilet seat as she went to the bathroom, and my heart swelled with pride when she was done.
“All done,” Lanie said. “Help with my pants?”
“Of course I can,” I said.
“I went pee pee!”
“Yes, you did. And I’m so proud of you.” I wrapped the little girl up in my arms as a smile broke out on her face. She buried her face into my neck as I reached out to flush the toilet. She was scared of the sound the toilet made, and I could feel her whimpering against my skin.
“It’s okay. The toilet’s not gonna get you while I’m around,” I said.
I held her as she washed and dried her hands, then she opened the door and took off. She crawled onto Brian’s lap and started clapping her hands as she tried to tell Brian what she’d just done.
“And I, I pulled it down all by myself. And the pee pee happened. And it all went in and didn’t go everywhere!” Lanie said excitedly.
“She peed all by herself without making a mess,” I said.
“You’re kidding? Lanie! I’m so proud of you!”
I watched as Brian encompassed the little girl in his arms.
“I did it, Daddy. I did it.”
We all froze at the table as Brian’s face dropped. He pulled the little girl away from his shoulders and studied the smile on her face. Sarah’s eyes were darting between the two of us as Lanie’s smile slowly faded from her cheeks. I wasn’t sure what Brian was feeling, but he looked almost upset.
“Is that okay?” Lanie asked.
“Is what okay?” Brian asked.
“Can I say ‘Daddy’?”
Brian’s eyes flickered over to mine before he nodded his head and grinned. He was in disbelief. Hearing Lanie call him daddy was helping everything to sink in. The fact that we had won this morning. The fact that Lanie was now his daughter. I could see the happiness and the pride and the contentment rolling through his body as Lanie wrapped her arms around his neck.
“I love you, Daddy,” Lanie said.
“I love you, too, Princess.”
The pizza we had was phenomenal. Everything was made in-house, and all the meat and vegetables were locally-sourced. I ate until I couldn’t eat anymore, and I was concerned that Sarah would have to roll me out of the restaurant. I kept bugging Sarah about what kinds of stories she had told Brian while I was gone, but all they did was grin at me. Every time Sarah struck up a new story I thought I was going to melt into the floor, but it wasn’t until Brian put his hand on my knee that I settled down.
Whatever she told him, it must not have scared him off.
Yet.
The four of us laughed together and waited for our food to settle. It was nice, and it felt natural between all of us. Brian and Sarah bonded over their mutual hatred for reality television while Lanie and I colored with the crayons the pizza place had given us. I was teaching her about letters and colors, seeing how many she could identify before I had to jump in and help. We were there for three hours before we were winding down and ready to leave, so I made sure to leave a really nice tip as Brian picked up the check.
“Brian, I have to go back to the hotel and get my car. Could you drop me off there?” I asked.
“And I’ll have to ride back with you guys so I can get my car. It’s still at Brian’s,” Sarah said.
“Not a problem. We’ll get all the cars to where they need to be,” Brian said.
By the time we got back to my car, Lanie was already sleeping. I told Sarah to ride with me up the mountain, so we could talk, which meant Lanie could stay asleep through the ride home. We got into my car and followed Brian up the mountain, but I could tell there was something on Sarah’s mind.
“What?” I asked.
“What?”
“There’s something on your mind. You keep giving me that look,” I said.
“What look?” Sarah asked.
“The look like you want to say something. Come on. I’ve known you for years. I know when something’s on your mind.”
“You look happy, is all,” she said.
“Uh huh. And that’s it? Just that I look happy?” I asked.
“No. You’re actually happy. You’re not just smiling just to get by. You’re actually happy.”
I grinned as I drew in a deep breath.
“Yeah. I am,” I said.
“Are you two still going through with the marriage thing now that he has custody?” she asked.
“I’m not sure that we have to,” I said.
“I think you should still do it,” Sarah said.
“What?” I asked her, surprised by her comment. “Look, I know it sounds crazy. Trust me, I feel crazy for even mentioning it. But lunch? That shit flowed between the two of you effortlessly. And that niece of his is crazy about you. I can tell he is, too.”
“Really? You think so?” I asked.
“All I’m saying is, there’s no use in shutting a door that hasn’t been opened yet,” she said.
We rode in silence as I pulled up beside her car in front of Brian’s cabin.
“You think he actually has feelings for me?” I asked.
“I think that the two of you should talk about it because you obviously do,” Sarah said.
“Shit,” I said.
“I feel you. Now, I’m going to get in my car and go back to my hotel. Talk to him tonight. Get drunk to do it if you have to. But if you have feelings for him, he deserves to know before the two of you ruin something really great by overthinking it.”
“I know,” I said. “I know.”
“And by the way? That rock is serious. He could’ve bought you any old small, dinky ring. But he picked that fucker. That should tell you enough.”
I looked over at Sarah as a smile ricocheted across her cheeks.
“Tell him,” she said. “Just trust me, for once.”
“I always trust you, Sarah.”
“Then trust me again. Talk to him. Then call me and tell me all about it.”
“Of course,” I said, giggling. “It’s a shocker you don’t like reality television. That shit is right up your alley.”
“I don’t enjoy fake pettiness and drama. I enjoy actual pettiness and drama.”
“Talk to you soon?” I asked.
“You better,” she said.