Chapter 5
Chanel
His hand was strong around mine as he led me out onto the bow of the ship. The deck was beautiful, and the sunset over the ocean was perfect. It was mirrored precisely as the ship cut right into the picture of it all, and I felt compelled to photograph it. I set my drink down on the ledge of the ship and grabbed my camera, snapping pictures to try and capture the beauty of what I was witnessing.
But I could feel Rhett’s eyes on me the entire time.
I was ready to talk with him, to give him a piece of my mind about everything that had transpired between us. My boiling blood was thrashing about like the waves of the ocean, crimson red like my wine and glowing with heated delight like the sunset setting before my eyes. I turned around and captured an entire picture of the ship from my point of view, trying to put space in between Rhett and me. Despite how angry I was with him, I could feel the tension brewing between us the moment I had decided to take his hand.
What a stupid fucking move for me to make. But I couldn’t avoid the warmth I still felt when I was near him. After all this fucking time, and all that fucking heartache. Damn him.
The entire time we walked, I felt his hand flex. I felt the strength in his fingers and the calluses rubbing against my palm. I could see his back working underneath the tightness of his button-down shirt, a shirt that was too fucking small for him.
Part of me wanted to rip it off him before I smacked him across his face, just so I could run my fingertips down the muscles I knew the fabric of his clothes covered.
Once I was done taking pictures, I turned back around. Rhett was holding my wine glass out for me, his body silhouetted by the setting of the sun. My eyes danced along his darkened form. His eyes were burrowing into my soul. I held up my hand, coaxing him into standing there before I lifted my camera to him.
“Don’t,” he said.
“Please. Just one.”
I watched him nod as he lowered my wine glass to his side.
I snapped picture after picture, hoping to capture the breathtaking moment. His jaw was outlined against the setting sun, and his broad shoulders were draped in an angelic glow. He looked almost vulnerable behind the walls drawn up in his eyes. The slightest glimmer of the sun reflected off his wetted lips, and there was something that tugged me toward him and tossed me into his magnetic frame, hoping I would stick this time.
I dropped my camera and reached for my wine glass, our fingers brushing against one another. The electricity that flooded up my arm rattled my bones, and I tried to shake the feelings I was experiencing.
“Do you want to start, or should I?” I asked.
“I’ve missed you,” Rhett said.
I almost dropped my wine glass as I choked on the sip I took.
“What?” I asked.
“No one was ever able to replace you and what we had. And trust me, I tried.”
“Uh-huh,” I said.
“Despite what happened between us, I loved you, Chanel. I know I hurt you as badly as I could have that night, and I’ve never really forgiven myself for it. I honestly don’t know how it happened, to tell you the truth. Maybe part of me knew you deserved so much better than I could offer you.”
I felt my jaw drop in shock as he turned toward me. I had no idea what to say. What the hell was I supposed to say to that? A few seconds ago, I was ready to hit him. I was ready to knock his world back into last week, so he would no longer be on this cruise. But now I was stunned, and his face was moving closer to mine, and soon, I could feel his breath on my lips, hovering there, pulsing like the fucking tease he was.
I stepped toward his body and closed the distance between us. My wine glass dropped to the ground, shattering at our feet. His arms covered my back, his strength soaking into my muscles as my hands threaded around his neck. The fire that sparked in my toes burned up my legs and took out my knees.
I collapsed against him as our tongues danced, and he held me to him delicately as if he were holding a pillow to his chest.
His hands were all over me, grasping my ass, running down my legs, and massaging my back as my hands cupped his neck. My fingertips slid down his back, and I groaned at the chiseled muscles they raked over. Our lips were swelling underneath the pressure as Rhett backed me against the ledge while the heat of the setting sun soaked into my skin.
Then, I opened my eyes and saw what was happening and pushed him back with my hands.
Not before I felt the strength of his chest give underneath my touch, however.
“I can’t do this,” I said breathlessly. “I— I can’t open this up again.”
“Chanel, I didn’t—”
“You spoke, and now it’s my turn,” I said.
Rhett backed up from me as I stood my ground and smoothed out my dress.
“You broke my heart that night,” I said. “I was so excited to spend the night with you, for real. But when I opened the door and saw you half-naked with that girl in your lap, I felt like I’d been punched in the chest. All the air left my lungs, and all you did was stare at me.”
He shook his head. “Because I couldn’t believe what was happening either, Chanel. I’ve carried that damn night with me ever since then. I knew I was drunk, but I didn’t think I was drunk enough to do what I did. In all honesty, I was a little afraid that night. We said we would pretend the week before had never happened and this would be our real first time. I guess I subconsciously fucked it up so you would see that you deserved better.”
I could feel his body heat radiating against me, and I couldn’t think straight. I watched as he backed up, and I slipped away from the balcony. I put some distance between us as his eyes followed me, the sun slowly setting below the water and cloaking us in darkness.
“You said I was too good for you.”
“You know it’s true,” Rhett said. “You were bound for Cornell and I was bound for the nearest factory. Joining the Navy was the only way out, but I wasn’t going to drag you along with me. You were going to be someone great. I would have only held you back.”
“You don’t know that, Rhett!” I said in frustration. “If you really thought I was so damn smart, you should have trusted me to make that decision for myself!”
“And what? Follow me all over the globe instead of getting an Ivy League education? Or going to college anyway and trying to stay together when I was half-way around the globe, facing death and danger every damn day? That wasn’t the life you deserved. It worked out for the best. You have to see that now,” he said.
I wrapped my arms around myself and paced the bow for a few minutes. He was right about one thing, if he’d never have cheated, I would have followed him anywhere. I shook my head and closed my eyes, taking in a deep, shaking breath.
“I’m so proud of you and of everything you’ve accomplished,” Rhett said.
“I do more than just the blog, you know,” I said.
“I know. I kept tabs on you.”
“What?” I asked.
“I wanted to know how you were doing. Had to see if life was treating you as well as you deserved. I needed to know you were happy and that fucking up the best thing that had ever happened to me at least gave you the success you deserved. I had a drink in your honor when you got that internship with The New York Times.”
“You’re being serious right now,” I said.
“As a heart attack.”
“So, you checked up on me to make sure that what? I was happy? That I was safe? What would’ve happened had I not been? What the hell would you have done then?”
He closed the distance between us, his body stalking up to mine as his eyes held my stare. I swallowed thickly as he backed us into the darkness, shrouding us from the rest of the ship as my back hit the wall. We were in a darkened crook on the most deserted part of the ship as his hands came up and blocked me in, and suddenly, all I could think about was kissing him again.
“I would’ve done anything to get to you and make it right.”
His words hit me like a brick, and I couldn’t contain myself. I thrust my lips against his, feeling his hands slide down my body. His knee pressed between my legs, creating a friction I needed more than life itself. He kissed down my neck as my hands dug into his shoulders, sinking him to his knees as my dress fluttered around my thighs.
I could feel it, the sweet, sensual lips of the man who had broken my heart in high school. They were sliding up my thigh as his powerful hands pressed against my knees. My panties were soaked, dripping with lust and desire as he nibbled on my thigh. His head was underneath my dress, and I could feel his breath on my pussy.
I was shaking with desire and need as his fingertips pulled the fabric to the side.
Without another word, his tongue pierced my folds. I could feel my arousal pooling on his tongue while he moaned into my pussy. I braced myself against the wall, his hand guiding my leg over his shoulder, so he could keep me upright. His strong body braced mine when my knee gave out from underneath me, and he held me up as his tongue flicked my clit.
I bit down on my lower lip to keep quiet. My head was dizzy with electricity as his tongue worked me with purpose. He was suckling and nibbling, licking and teasing. I ground my hips down onto his face, feeling his light stubble tickling the inside of my legs.
My hands curled against the wall as my legs began to tighten. I bit down harder on my lip, stifling my groans at the sensation of his tongue pressing deeper into me. My eyes rolled into the back of my head, heat pooled in my pelvis, racing along my body and shaking me with ecstasy.
And for the first time since high school, I experienced a real orgasm.
I shook and crumbled against his face as his hands held me upright. He drank me down, swallowing my juices while I trembled in his grasp. I slumped over and sank onto him, and he caught me, his head coming up from underneath my dress to meet my lips.
I could taste myself on him as I panted, trying to catch my breath as his arms held me close to him.
I wanted more. Holy hell, I wanted so much more from him
“Take me to your room,” I said breathlessly.
And without another word spoken, he picked me up in his arms and started for the elevators.