CHAPTER ELEVEN.
Desiree doubted whether any of her students learned a single thing on the day following her date with Jack. She stumbled over simple concepts, forgot kid’s names, and left questions half asked. Her jaw hurt from clamping it down in irritation at her mistakes, and her eyebrows felt as if they were permanently drawn together.
But there was nothing she could do. Another compartment in her brain – the wrong compartment - kept insisting on centre stage. It was the one that held the memories of Jack’s kisses and caresses. No matter how many times she pushed them back, they kept forcing their way to the forefront, wiping out any other thoughts that were there.
For a woman who prided herself on her control, Desiree couldn’t believe just how out of control Jack made her feel. And she wasn’t sure she liked it. She wasn’t a little pansy-assed wide-eyed schoolgirl for fuck’s sake. She didn’t flutter her eyelashes and swoon at the first sight of a man’s attention. But there it was. She was fluttering and swooning like a debutante with her skirts lifted for the first time.
She continued to stumble around throughout the afternoon. Nathan Morton, whose mother she had the heated conversation with at parent teacher night, was in her final class for the day, and her concentration dived even more when she noticed him watching her, a smile playing around his mouth. It was so different to his usual hidden-under-the-hoodie behavior, she knew he could see the difference in her. And it made her even more clumsy and ditzy.
He wandered up to her desk following the class, which was also completely unusual. Nathan had never initiated an interaction with Desiree. As it was, he still didn’t look her in the eye, his gaze firmly on the desk.
“Hi, Nathan. What can I do for you today?” She kept her tone light, wondering whether any of the year coordinators had spoken with the teen. He seemed a little less downcast, so perhaps there had been some positive action.
“About calling my Mum to come see you.” He drummed his fingers on the table. “I appreciate it.”
Desiree smiled. “I’m glad. I hope everything is okay with you?”
“Yeah.” Nathan finally looked at her for a moment and threw her a half-smile before looking away again. She realised it was all the confirmation she was going to get. It didn’t really answer her question one way or the other, but it was more communication than she had with Nathan since the beginning of the semester, so she wasn’t going to let the opportunity go to waste.
“I wasn’t sure that I got through to your Mum at all. She was in a bit of a hurry.”
“Yeah, no-one can get through to my Mum.” Nathan’s expression darkened for a moment, before he pulled himself up, and returned to his normal nondescript face. “You were really distracted today.”
Desiree flushed and smiled. “Was it that obvious?”
“No, it’s cool. It’s like you’re in love or something.” He nodded slowly, almost to himself, and then said fiercely, “If you are, Miss Jackson, you should grab on with both hands and never let that shit go.”
She wondered at the intensity in his voice, and the way his fingers stilled against the desk. To Desiree, it felt as if he was speaking from experience, as if he was reliving a memory. She reached out to cover his fingers with hers, and softened her tone. “Are you alright, Nathan?”
He pulled away as if she had slapped him. “I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.” All of his muscles tensed, and an ugly expression crossed his face, pain and loathing raging over a mask of glittering hatred. Desiree almost took an alarmed step back, but managed to keep herself still as Nathan struggled to right his warring emotions. “I’m fine.” He said it again, softly, and she knew the conversation was over.
“Alright.”
He pulled a crinkled photocopied flyer from his backpack and thrust it at her, muttering, “Anyway, I heard you like to go out and see live music, so I’m onstage tomorrow night if you want to go.”
He turned and walked away before she could ask him what it was. She looked at the flyer – it was for an open mic night at a bar close to the school. Then she realised, although she had a pretty good handle on what almost all of her other kids did, she didn’t know anything about this side of Nathan. The first question that came into her head – how does he know I like going to see live music? – was quickly followed by a number of others. What was a kid of fifteen doing hanging around a bar? Do his parents know what he’s up to? Should I call them?
After a few moments of indecision, Desiree concluded that she wasn’t responsible for Nathan’s activities outside of school. And her previous intervention with Mrs Morton hadn’t exactly been a success. Decision taken, she picked up her stuff and started walking back to her office.
Despite her decision, she still felt a niggle of responsibility. When you put teenagers and pubs together, it usually meant trouble. But Nathan was just there to perform. Maybe there was no trouble at all.
But what if there was?
By the time she reached her office, she had reluctantly decided to go along to Nathan’s performance, if only to keep an eye on him. Pulling out her phone, she sent Jack a text asking if he wanted to go with her. When she hadn’t received a reply within two minutes, despite checking her phone every ten seconds, she scowled, then laughed at herself.
Jesus, Desiree, the man has to work you know. It’s not like he’s sitting on his phone waiting for you to call.
She also sent a text to Penny, giving her some teasers about her date with Jack, telling her where he took her, and that the date was really nice. She smiled as she hit send, knowing that as soon as she read the message, Penny would come back with a hundred questions.
Sure enough, minutes later Desiree’s phone pinged.
“Did you kiss him? Was it hot? Who goes to a burger joint? Nothing romantic about that”
Desiree snuffled a laugh, and replied, “It’s surprising how romantic a burger joint can be…” It was purposely click bait – Penny responded in seconds.
“Thats mean You cant not tell me now Did you kiss him?”
“Yes – and it was good”
“How good?”
Desiree thought for a moment. With Jack, it wasn’t all fireworks and jolts of electricity or any of that other stuff that usually makes for an amazing first date. It was just that it felt right and perfect and comfortable. Like they were in exactly the right place at the right time with each other. There was heat and fire, but not massive sparks. Desiree didn’t know how to describe the feeling to Penny, she’d never felt it before. Her usual was to have the sparks when she kissed the guy, then fall into bed with him to make sure the sparks kept going. With Jack, she didn’t seem to need to make the sparks happen. She wondered why it wasn’t important, and whether it was a problem. Maybe it was chemistry instead of electricity. Or something like that. Desiree shrugged to herself, and replied to Penny.
“Extremely good”
She was going to add but different to the message, only she didn’t want to try to explain something to Penny that she couldn’t actually work out herself. Pen’s “Yay!” in response brought a smile to her face.
Desiree heard the bell, so her last message to Pen was “Talk to me later I have to go be a teacher”
She picked up another pile of paperwork and headed to her next class.