CHAPTER EIGHTEEN.
“For goodness sake, Jack.”
Surprising Jack with her vehemence, he could almost see Maureen glowering down the phone line.
“What? I don’t have anyone else to call.” Already feeling vulnerable, Jack found himself becoming chilly at Maureen’s words. He called her to get support and advice, not more angst.
“Surely you could find a local Miss Lonelyhearts service? It’s gotta be cheaper than callin’ me every time somethin’ goes ass over with your teacher lady.”
“What’s up your butt today?”
“Oh, nothin’, it’d just be nice to talk to you about normal things, instead of always this woman.” Maureen sighed. “I love you Jack, and I don't like seein’ you hurt, but jeez, give me a break.”
“Sorry.” The word came stiffly and there was a long pause before either of them said anything else.
“So talk to me. What’s happenin’ with y’all? And work? Have you heard from Susan?”
Jack let out a bark of laughter. “Who? It’s feels a little bit like she never existed. Poor Faith asked me the other day what she’d done to make her mother stop lovin’ her.”
“Oh, no.” Maureen’s disapproval was evident in her voice. “Doesn’t she even call them?”
“Rarely. I think the last time we heard from her was… On the twins’ birthday.”
“Surprised she even remembers their birthday.”
“Me too. Although I’m glad she does. Birthdays are not my strong point. Marissa and Faith pretty much took care of their birthday this year. Faith reminded me on the morning that I had to be home early, and I asked her what for. She gave me that look – you know the one – I thought I was starin’ down a little Maureen for a second.” He chuckled.
“Better than lookin’ like her snobby, stuck up…”
“Now wait a minute, Maureen. Susan might be a lot of things, but ugly, she ain’t.”
Maureen begrudgingly concurred. “Even so, it’s a good thing Faith takes after you.”
“On the inside and out.” Jack smiled a quiet, proud smile. Faith was a great kid. Oh, she had her moments, but all in all, he was happy with how she was shaping up. “The twins, on the other hand, look and act exactly like their mama.”
“I hope you’re beatin’ that out of them.”
“Reen!”
“I was jokin’.” Her conciliatory tone mollified him, even when she continued, “Still, regular beatin’s might have some good effect.”
“And that explains why I don’t ship them off to Houston for holidays.”
Maureen gave a thoughtful sigh. “I wish you would. I miss you all so much.”
“And we miss you. Specially your good advice.”
“Don’t think you can charm me with your silver tongue, Jackson Gordon Duncan. I know your tricks.” But Maureen seemed to be happier than when he had first called her, so Jack pushed on.
“Can I just ask you one piece of advice?”
After a long suffering sigh, Maureen replied, “Shoot.”
“If she had a bad home life as a kid, and when I asked about it she didn’t tell me, I only found out by accident, what does that mean? For our relationship?”
“I’m not sure I understand the question.”
“Do you think her poor upbringing would affect me and the kids? You know, in the long run?”
Maureen was silent for a moment, before responding, “You are such a snob.”
“I am not!”
“Oh, brother, you are so. Listen to yourself. Just because she didn't have it as good as you growing up, you think perhaps she might be not as good or something?” Maureen seemed mildly outraged. “Is that the measure of a person, Jack? Their background and upbringing? Or should it be about how they are now?”
Jack’s first instinct was to refute Maureen’s suggestions. After all, he wasn’t a snob, he was just looking out for the welfare of his family. Then a little voice in his head said, But Susan had a similar upbringing to yours, and she’s hardly treated you all kindly.
He couldn’t help but defend himself. “But studies show that kids from broken homes tend to be more aggressive, and have difficulty with relationships.”
“Seriously? Are you listenin’ to yourself? You’re the divorced one, not her.”
Jack’s mouth snapped shut. He hadn’t thought of that. Suddenly his stomach plummeted as he thought about how he had behaved toward her and he unsuccessfully tried to suppress a groan.
A suspicious tone crept into Maureen’s voice. “What have you done, Jack?”
“Nothing.”
“Bullspit.”
“I… Maybe had a disagreement with her and left her.”
“Left her?”
“In the street.”
“In the street?”
“Crying.”
Jack hurried to fill the silence.
“But she warn’t cryin’ ‘bout us.” Jack was quick to explain. “That was about her mama.”
“What about her mama?”
“She has cancer. Her brother saw her out and told her. They don’t really get along. Desiree and her mama.” He knew he was babbling so, with an effort, he stemmed the words and waited for Maureen’s reply.
Maureen spoke slowly. “So let me make sure I got this straight. The lady was cryin’ about her mother, who she just found out has cancer, and you left her in the street? That’s the lowest thing I’ve heard of in a long, long time.”
Jack’s palms started to sweat and his heart beat against his chest. His mouth went dry. He knew it. He knew it absolutely. He had acted like a self-centered asshole. He had known it as soon as he started to stalk away, but didn’t know how to turn around and apologize. His conscience had plagued him for the past two days, berating him over and over again for walking away from, not only Desiree, but any human being who had just had the shock of finding out a family member had cancer. Heck, he could remember his own response when they found out Uncle Leo had cancer, and they weren’t even close. Maureen had gotten it spot on. He was a dismal excuse for a human being. He scrubbed a hand through his hair, creating a disheveled mess, and his next words came out as a croak.
“What do I do, Maureen?”
“I don’t even know where to start. You march up to that poor lady’s door and you apologize, that’s what. The lady deserves the mother of all apologies from you, and even then there’s not much chance she’ll take you back. Why would she? You’ve been an arrogant a-hole.”
“I know, alright. You don’t need to keep tellin’ me.”
“Well, apparently I do, otherwise you do things like this.”
“We didn’t actually break up.”
“Oh, brother, you totally did.”
“I told her I needed time. To think.”
And then the realization hit him like a physical blow. He wanted her in his life. To hell with previous relationships and family problems and whatever else might crop up. He needed her.
And he had probably just taken the quickest road to breaking up with her that ever existed.
All the feelings in his body came together and he leaned over and vomited in the kitchen sink. Between his heaves and his eyes watering, he could still hear Maureen’s tinny voice over the phone saying, “Jack? Jack, are you alright?” But he couldn’t answer her, not until his sandwich and tonight’s pasta had exited his stomach.
He grabbed a glass from the sink, filled it and took a sip of water then returned to the phone. “I’m okay, Reen. I’ve just realised what the hell I’ve done.”
“Oh, Jackie. I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s all me. What an dad-blasted fool I am.”
“Yes, you are. And I reckon unless you go round and apologize to that little lady quick smart, that mistake is going to burn you for the rest of your days.”
“I can’t.” Frustration, and a raw throat from vomiting, had Jack’s words coming out as a growl. “I don’t have anyone to look after the kids.”
“Call her.”
“I can’t.” Jack whispered, his eyes filling with tears. “I don’t even know where to start, Reen. She must think I’m lower than a snake in the grass.”
“Oh, I’m sure she does. But there’s still time, Jack.”
“Lord, I hope so. I can’t afford to lose her.”
“She must be something special.”
“She is. She’s outspoken and defiant and argumentative and smart and charming and swears like a trooper and tells it how it is…”
“Sounds like a keeper.”
“She is. Definitely a keeper. And I swear to God, I’m going to do all I can to keep her.”